WELCOME TO THE FRONT, RECRUIT! WE'VE BEEN EXPERIENCING HEAVY SHELLING FROM ENEMY LINES, SO IF ALL YOU CAN HEAR IS RINGING, DON'T PANIC, YOU GET USED TO IT!
SEE THE TRENCH WAY OUT THERE? WE CALL THAT THE SHITBLOOD GUTTER. IT USED TO BE OUR FORWARD TRENCHES BEFORE THE CULTISTS RELEASED THEIR LIQUIDATION WEAPON! I KNOW THE MUNITORIUM DIDN'T ISSUE YOU WITH ANY GEAR BEFORE YOU GOT HERE, SO YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO GO SWIMMING FOR A WEAPON AND SOME AMMO. DON'T WORRY, YOU GET USED TO IT!
SOME OF THE LADS START HEARING VOICES AFTER A COUPLE OF WEEKS, JUST TRY TO BLOCK IT OUT BY THINKING ABOUT TITS OR THE EMPEROR. IF YOU EVER WAKE UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT CHANTING INCOMPREHENSIBLE WORDS IN A LANGUAGE YOU DON'T RECOGNISE, THE THING THAT SEEMS TO SNAP YOU OUT OF IT TENDS TO BE SELF-MUTILATION, KILLING YOUR SQUADMATES OR DRAWING SYMBOLS ON THE WALLS. DON'T FRET, YOU GET USED TO IT!
Gabriel Taylor
SIR! I HAVE A QUESTION! WHERE IN THE EMPEROR'S HOLY NAME ARE WE, AND WHY HAVE WE BEEN SENT TO THE FRONT UNARMED?!?
Isaac Gonzalez
Caps lock is painful to read
Isaiah White
CANT HEAR YOU, PRIVATE, YOU'LL NEED TO SPEAK LOUDER
Kayden Scott
Non possum sentire stamine consequendi me! NON POSSUM SENTIRE STAMINE CONSEQUENDI MEEEEEEE!!!
Chase Ward
I SHOULDN'T TELL YOU THIS, BUT YOU'VE BEEN SENT TO [classified], LARGELY REGARDED AS THE WORST WARZONE IN THE SUBSECTOR!
DON'T WORRY, EVENTUALLY WE'LL HAVE ENOUGH BODIES!
WHAT?
HERETIC!
Kevin Bennett
YYYYEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
SLAANESH BEEEE PRAISED! SHITS GUNNA GET LOOOOUDDDERR!!!!!!!
*Heretical Guitar riff goes here*
Zachary Hall
SIR EVER SINCE ARRIVING HERE I HAVE BEEN ABLE TO KILL PEOPLE WITH MY MIND, IS THIS NORMAL?!
Dylan Jones
SIR, DOES OUR ARTILLERY PLAN ON FIRING BACK? I ALSO PICKED UP THIS RATION BAR ON MY WAY IN, IS IT SAFE TO EAT? THE FOIL IS STILL ON IT
Oliver Johnson
I DON'T KNOW, MAYBE YOU'LL GET USED TO IT.
SEGMENTUM COMMAND TOLD US TO PRESERVE AMMO FOR THE BIG PUSH, THAT WAS PROBABLY AROUND...THREE YEARS AGO NOW?
Ryder Jones
OH FUCK THE HERETICS ARE HERE, GET THE MELTAS
Connor Ross
RIGHT MAN REMEMBER WHAT SARGE TOLD YOU, START CUTTING YOURSELF
Matthew Butler
WHAT DO YOU MEAN MELTAS?! FIX BAYONETS!
Alexander Price
FUCK YOU YOU POMPOUS FAGGOT, PRAISE KHORNE AND DIE!
Parker Taylor
DING DONG DING DONG
YOU HEAR THAT?! POPPA NURGLES HERE TO SHOW YOU HOW MUCH HE LOVES YOU!!
Ryan Flores
FIRST LINE, FIRE! SECOND LINE F*URGGHGHGHG!*
Jason Jenkins
AM HERE TO TELL YOU IT"S TIME TO CHARGE THOSE CHAOS FUCKS!
Ethan Lee
...
Jayden Ramirez
...
Isaiah Gomez
Then, everyone clapped. *sips tea*
Kayden Perry
>TITS OR THE EMPEROR SIR! WHAT ABOUT THINKING OF TITS ON THE EMPEROR?
Easton Hughes
You sully your mind with such perverse images? Show me the rest of these before I splatter your brain across the trench, for research purposes of course!
Jacob Miller
>10000/10, would worship with great fervor
Lincoln Edwards
You allow your men to sully their minds and souls with such images? You HERETIC!
Jackson Nelson
WHAT WAS THAT, SIR? I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THAT NOB'S SCREAMS IN PAIN. COULD YOU REPEAT THAT AGAIN SIR!?
WHAT'S WITH THE NUMBERS? WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT
HERETIC WHERE?
Angel Morgan
HERETIC THERE!
*BLAM*
James Peterson
APPROVED!
Justin Cruz
I like the idea of a God Empress but god-damn the fuck is wrong with her face.
Dylan Richardson
>banana
Leo Russell
WHAT? COULDNT HEAR YOU OVER ALL THE SHELLS, REPEAT YOURSELF.
THE HERETICS WILL MARINATE IN HERESY AND BURN IN THE FIRES OF DAMNATION!!! MARCH FORWARD AND SING HIS PRAISES!!!!! THE EMPEROR LOVES ME THIS I KNOW!!! FOR THE IMPERIUM TELLS ME SO!!!
Eli Edwards
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
David White
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAexpecting a WAAAGH!? TOO BAD! WALUIGI TIME! OH YEAH!
Jacob Lopez
OI! WHY WEZ JUS' SITTIN' 'ERE? LETZ GO KRUMP DEM SPIKY 'UMIES!
Adam Brooks
ITS VERY QUIET TODAY.
Nathaniel Price
You're a monster
Ethan Young
ATTACK MY PACT-BROTHERS! BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD, SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE! LET THIS WORLD BURN!
Justin Hall
I'M HAVING A BREW? DO YOU WANT ONE?
Chase Jackson
YES
Owen Wright
SIR, MY STANDARD ISSUE SPOON HAS A TONGUE GROWING OUT OF IT AND MY BRAIN ITCHES, SIR!
Andrew Cook
INCINERATE THAT TAINTED METAL!!! READ THE PRAYER OF THE EMPEROR 100 TIMES TONIGHT AND IF THAT DOES NOT STOP THE ITCHING REPORT TO ME TOMORROW MORNING!
HOLD THE LINE GUARDSMEN!!! STAND TALL FOR THE EMPEROR!!!!
Sebastian Lewis
SIR MY ARM HAS GROWN ITS OWN FACE, I'M NOT SURE WHAT TO DO
Nathan Miller
I FEEL YOU MAN, MY GUN SPROUTED A MOUTH AND A PENIS LAST NIGHT, IT KEEPS TELLING ME TO PLEASURE IT.
IF YOU ASK ME THERE IS SOMEONE FROM THE SUPPLY CORP FUCKING US OVER
Bentley Morgan
*Puts bolt pistol to your head and squeezes the trigger
Jason Reed
THAT'S ODD, MY GUN'S MAGWELL TURNED INTO A VAGINA AND STARTED WHISPERING SINS TO ME AT NIGHT. I HAVEN'T RELOADED MY GUN IN THREE WEEKS.
Cameron Fisher
HAVE YOU TRIED STICKING THE TWO TOGETHER? SOUNDS LIKE YOU OUGHTA TWIN-LINK THAT SHIT.
Chase Evans
SIR, MY STANDARD ISSUE LASGUN JUST SHOT LIGHTNING AT A BUNCH OF HERETICS! IS THIS NORMAL?
Andrew Bell
I DON'T KNOW. YOU'LL GET USED TO IT.
Brandon Campbell
IS THAT A SPACE MARINE AT THE ENEMY TRENCH?
HE WAVING AT ME! NOW HE'S SLIDING A FINGER OVER HIS THROAT SLOWLY?
DO I WAVE BACK?
Aiden Martinez
WHERE THE FUCK ARE MY REINFORCEMENTS! THESE FUCKING HERETICS ARE GONNA OVERRUN US OVER HERE!
Josiah Robinson
IN THE NAME OF THE EMPEROR WHERE THE FUCK ARE MY BANEBLADES!
Michael Campbell
SIR, WHY IS DAVE OVER THERE GROWING HORNS AND SPIKES?
Julian Johnson
MUNITORUM LOST 'EM WE HAVE PLENTY OF (lightly worn) T-SHIRTS THOUGH
Nathan Cruz
AUGH! A BUNCHA SCARED HUMIES WE 'AVE 'ERE?! AHAHAHAHA! NOW DIS IS A GOOD FIGHT FOR A ROIGHT AND PROPAH WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!
Hunter Murphy
CAVALRY REPORTING IN!
Ian Carter
MUNITORUM CAN'T FIND ANY, BUT THEY SENT ME WITH 400 KEGS OF RECAFE AS REPLACEMENT.
Logan Harris
.......
Anthony White
[intimates his understanding by punching something]
William Carter
BE STRONG IN YOUR HATE SOLDIERS! FAITH WILL GUIDE YOU! THE EMPEROR PROTECTS! AND YOU WILL MEET HIM TODAY BE IT BY DIEING OR REACHING THE HEAVEN ITSELF BY BUILDING A PILE OF CORPSES HIGH ENOUGH TO REACH IT!
Tyler Bennett
SIR I HAVE NO IDEA HOW I GOT HERE BUT IM GONNA GO BACK TO MY HOME PLANE NOW. HAVE FUN WITH WHATEVER YOU'RE DOING. PLANE SHIFT BIYATCH.
Camden Cox
Hey, boss, this might be a good moment to bring up that I can arrange a trade - five kegs to any artillery regiment to send next training barrage on the coordinates we call, another 20 to accidentally swap in the live ammo. And a hundred to platoon command to call artillery drill right fucking now. So how do we play this, boss? All in? Just give me the coordinates.
THIS IS NO QUEST PRIVATE, NOW FALL IN LINE AND SHAVE YOUR LASGUN, ITS WAY TOO HAIRY.
Matthew Gonzalez
WHAT'S THAT? YOU'LL HAVE TO SPEAK LOUDER!
AND WHO STOLE MY HELMET?
Connor King
SIR!
IS IT TRUE THAT WHEN WE GARRISON THE PLANET THE MUNITORIUM WILL DEPLOY FEMALE REGIMENTS TO THE PLANET AND A BREEDING PROGRAM STARTS?
Dylan Cooper
YOU POOR GREEWBIE, THATS JUST RECRUITMENT PROPAGANDA.
Carter Cook
SIR! THAT LAST ARTILLERY EXCHANGE COST ME MY ARM! WILL I GET USED TO IT?
WAIT, WAIT A SEC, A TENTACLE IS GROWING OUT OF THE WOUND... WILL I GET USED TO THAT?
Aaron Fisher
WHERE'S OUR ARTILLERY
Charles Richardson
>THE EMPEROR
This is all you need, those that are faithful will survive and prosper on this battlefield. Your enemies' missiles deflected, their demons banished. All will be well in the light of our glorious emperor. Now, CHARGE YOU SCUM AND GET YOUR WEAPON FROM THE BLOOD POOL. Less I judge you a traitor here and now!
Hudson Morris
FHOR DE EMPRAA!
Zachary Rodriguez
WHO ARE YOU CALLING SCUM, HERETIC?
Kevin Peterson
YOU GET USED TO IT TROOPER
Levi Carter
Heard you Cadian boys were havin trouble taming this "death world" I dont get what you pansies are talking about this place is a damn near paradise!
Henry Long
OH LOOK XENOS ON THE HORIZON!
Hudson Cooper
For a hot second, I thought that was a Necron in a Death Korp.'s cap.
Which I want now.
Matthew Mitchell
SIR, WHY IS OUR STATIONED PSYKER STEVE GROWING WINGS AND IS TURNING RED? DO PSYKERS DO THAT?
Asher Cruz
DEATHWORLD 17 ENGAGEMENT PROTOCOL SECTION 9 PARAGRAPH 4 YOU GET USED TO IT.
PARAGRAPH 5, IF YOU FIND SOMETHING IS BEYOND YOUR MORTAL COMPREHENSION SEE PARAGRAPH 4
Jaxson Long
PRETORIAN GUARDS XVI RIFLE REGIMENT READY OLD CHAP!
Robert Moore
Sir, Jenkins was killed by a Xeno with some kind of knife launching Crossbow, also several of the men have been talking about Crotch Rot.
Carter Price
That's what happens when you go full smug. Never go full smug son.
Dominic Bennett
WHO IS MAKING ALL OF THIS NOISE UP HERE!? SOME OF US ARE TRYING TO SLEEP DOWN HERE!!
Cameron Sanchez
WHAT? WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM TECH-PRIEST? I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE BLAMMING OF THE COMMISSARS!
Carson Phillips
YOU'RE GONNA WAKE UP THE C'TAN SHARD WE HAVE DOWN HERE! AND IT GETS REALLY CRANKY WHEN IT WAKES UP WITHOUT A GOOD NIGHT SLEEP AND THE SOULS OF TEN MILLION MORTALS!
Jack Howard
IT'LL GET USED TO IT
Ayden Wilson
I'M GONNA FILE A NOISE COMPLAINT TO YOUR PARENTS, YOU YOUNGSTERS! I SWEAR, THIS SECTOR HAS BECOME FULL OF NOISY BRATS, EVEN THE KRORKS WERE QUIETER!
Henry Sullivan
Bonjour
Aiden Taylor
GOOD NEWS EVERYONE, THE ELYSIAN DROP TROOPS HAVE ARRIVED, WITH THEIR HELP WE WILL ADVANCE! OR WE WILL SURRENDER.
Andrew Cruz
I WILL SHATTER THEIR SOULS
Tyler Sullivan
COME AT ME! PSYKER DUEL! PUSH! PUSH IT!
Hunter Sanders
NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!
Joseph Smith
f..uck
Eli Moore
WHERE'S OUR FIRE SUPPORT?
Gavin Miller
THE BARRAGE IS READY! WE WILL PURGE THOSE MUTANTS WHO DWELL AT THIS BLOOD POOL!
