Genie Thread

Ho ho ho, hee hee hee,I shall thank you forever for freeing me. To reward you, I'll grant three wishes, three! Think wisely of whatever they'll be.

I want dicks.

>hee hee hee

macaroni macaroni?

Wish granted!

I wish for a team of unparalleled lawyers, statesmen and authors, who are to help me in developing my second and third wishes to the best of their abilities and with utmost goodwill.

Wish 1: I wish for the power to swap bodies with someone as long as I consciously decide to use that power, with no cooldown or restrictions except that I can only switch with a human or other humanoid entity, and that the power follows me between swaps.

Wish 2: I wish that upon focusing on a person I could see how happy they currently are with their life and some general information as to why they are happy/unhappy without getting into the nitty gritty details.

For my third wish, I wish that you obtain one of your greatest desires that does not harm me or any significant part of this planet that we are both on currently.

I wish you were trapped in your lamp.

I wish you were a Monkey's Paw instead

You do realize that the genie isn't obligated to give you shit, right? They're gifts, and he's allowed to fuck with you regardless of how much legal bullshit or precise wording you use.

Wish One: A ham sandwich.
Wish Two: A coke to wash it down.
Wish Three: Cab fare home.

>give me the power to bound magical beings to my will

I bound him to my will and now i have infinite wishes.

>wish one
I want to have all the powers of a ghost, flying, being invisible and intangible, without any of the drawbacks
>wish two
I want a fully functional second cock just as big as my first one
>wish three
Well i wish you a lifetime of happiness being free, go fuck shit up, as long as you don't harm me or my loved ones i don't give a fuck.

1. I wish you wouldn't try to play any sort of letter-of-the-wish style bullshit on me and just grant my next two wishes the way I intend them to be granted.

2: I wish I had Q's powers.

3: fuck it, I can grant my own wishes now. You want anything?

Please see

Wish for a genie who doesn't rhyme.

No reward needed. Just remember me if our paths ever cross again in the future.

So what is the point of this thread exactly?

Do I get my wishes? :D

I wish you would follow my wishes to the spirit rather than the letter.

1, I wish whenever I had to pay for something I ha the exact amount of money needed in my pocket in American money in the largest denomination possible.

2. I wish my body was exactly the way it was when I was 21, and nothing could alter it, including injury, disease, time, or a sedentary lifestyle, but I remain fully ambulatory an functional and not in stasis.

3. I wish the bodily fluids of black people reacted like sulfuric acid when they come into contact with the flesh of any other race.

The smartest wishes are usually to wish fr the capability to get the things you want, instead of just wishing for the things. Wish for a treasure? It can be stolen, or cursed, or foolishly spent. Wish for the skill and wits to make a fortune, and you can do so whenever you want. Wish for a magic item, and it can be stolen, or cursed, or used against you. Wish for the ability to enchant your own items, and you can have whatever you wish.

That said?

**Sits down and spends ten minutes throwing together the cheesiest, most broken Rifts character he can imagine**

"I wish I had all the powers, skills, abilities, knowledges, attributes, and traits of the individual described on this piece of paper, as best I understand them."

>Honestly, I was tempted to use exalted, but I don't trust myself not to go mad with power

For my first wish, I humbly request a precise insight into the optimal wording and nature of my next wish, so as to ensure the best possible result for all parties possibly involved, including both yourself and myself. Obviously, my second wish will be whatever that wish is.

As for the third... can I get back to you on that, or is this a limited-time offer? I'd like to keep it on hold for a rainy day if possible, but I understand if you've elsewhere to be.

The ability to travel to fiction at a point of time I choose and it has all the info even if I forget bits and pieces is my first wish

Granted!

>I wish to rule as high as a sultan!
>I wish to be the most powerful sorcerer in the world!
>I wish to be a powerful genie!

I want to be hot girl genie that can reward people with lewd wishes. Maybe I could grant a wish to you too.

This guy has it figured out.

The genie won't fuck you figuratively if he can fuck you literally.

1. one million more wishes

...

>a genie recruits your party to help it gain its freedom back
>its lamp was lost centuries ago so it's impossible to use the holder of the lamp to wish for the genie to be free or anything
>the genie can't grant wishes anymore because since nobody has the lamp anymore, the genie has become useless

what's an interesting and challenging way to free a genie ?
>inb4 another genie

I wish for no wishes

>not having a succubus/incubus disguised as a genie screw with the party
>"Oh, because I'm not a noble genie I can't grant wishes, so sorry, but I can be your servant."

You now have a second cock pointed straight up your ass

Since when a genie can get separated from its possessed object? a better quest would be the party finding a genie who was the previous wisher that got himself tricked by the original genie, the party should track the now evil magician genie before he fucks the world out of revenge, every party member gets a single wish.

>Genie shows up to party
>Guys you've gotta help me out. I've heard of your exploits and I'm impressed
>My master is a complete dickhead. I've served him for a hundred years and he hasn't gone past the first wish.
>He orders me around constantly. There isn't much time. Go here and kill him for me.
Neat side adventure/dungeon idea. Genie's forced to fight you, and if it gets desperate a wish could be used in the heat of the moment. At the end you get some potential genie dickery, and while he's grateful he can't help but fuck with the party.

pretty sure that was 2 wishes, Mr. Genie, leaving him with only 1 wish with which to ask for none of this to have ever happened.

Dumb fuck, get the fuck into your tiny black lamp!

I want to have sex with you

For those misunderstanding what reward and the genie being free means.

Oh, darn, I was just about to post that.