Genie Thread

Ho ho ho, hee hee hee,I shall thank you forever for freeing me. To reward you, I'll grant three wishes, three! Think wisely of whatever they'll be.

I want dicks.

>hee hee hee

macaroni macaroni?

Wish granted!

I wish for a team of unparalleled lawyers, statesmen and authors, who are to help me in developing my second and third wishes to the best of their abilities and with utmost goodwill.

Wish 1: I wish for the power to swap bodies with someone as long as I consciously decide to use that power, with no cooldown or restrictions except that I can only switch with a human or other humanoid entity, and that the power follows me between swaps.

Wish 2: I wish that upon focusing on a person I could see how happy they currently are with their life and some general information as to why they are happy/unhappy without getting into the nitty gritty details.

For my third wish, I wish that you obtain one of your greatest desires that does not harm me or any significant part of this planet that we are both on currently.

I wish you were trapped in your lamp.

I wish you were a Monkey's Paw instead

You do realize that the genie isn't obligated to give you shit, right? They're gifts, and he's allowed to fuck with you regardless of how much legal bullshit or precise wording you use.

Wish One: A ham sandwich.
Wish Two: A coke to wash it down.
Wish Three: Cab fare home.