THAT GUY Thread

see listen here you little fuckwit you are the reason the goddamn dm has to make a motherfucking arms race with you dont you realize that youre fucking with the literal power of god because of rule zero and the fac tthat the dm is the abjurrant omnipotent diety of the universe you are literally fucking with a can of worms and whoopass that your puny pathetic mortal self would never wish to open because if you only knew the true extent of the cosmic horrors that the supercollider of the diety that is your gm could unleash you'd realize you were fucking with someone way out of your goddamn league but instead youve chosen to live a life as a rebel and pretend that you have some kind of insightful and meaningful impact upon the universe but in reality you're nothing more than a fly on a speck of shit gleaming for that chance to be more than a fucking worthless maggot the dm could just shit all over you ten ways from china before you could even blink and youd be fucking dead before you hit the ground so just do yourself a favor and abandon all delusions of control you mongoloid bitch because the only thing you've got coming your way is a hurricane shitstorm thats going to ram itself down your throat and make you wish you were a faggot

Is their character really a slutty catgirl?

nah it's a kitsune, for some reason they instantly tried to assume the role of party leader attempting to handle all npc dialogue and encounters

so the image being degenerate tier was pointless

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

That's what you deserve for playing 3.5

you think you can go one for one against me motherfucker don't you realize im the goddamn reincarnation of the oni demon warlord ominusha who wields the masterful power of the zanmoto muramasa mk ][ with a single fucking hand thats right bitch you've done fucked up and now you're going to suffer a fate worse than death always looking over your goddamn shoulder terrified of your pathetic little excuse of a life wondering when and how im going to stpe out of the shadows and send you straight to the void with a single sweep of my sudden soul stealing scimitar but you'd be hard pressed to find a solution out of this one because the time of reckoning amalour is at hand and you have no chance to survive it and you could have begged me for mercy and to spare you but you just had to be the "bigger man" and act all tough and high and mighty but now you dont have any chance for atonement because the bells have tolled and you drew the short straw on life, fucko.

>entering grand ornate room in dungeon
>epic boss all but guaranteed to be here
>DM clearly about to lay down some dialogue
>kyle looks up from his phone
>"Have you guys finished breath of the wild yet?"
fuck you kyle

0/10 you didn't even edit it to be RPG themed.

>That Guy that discover something interesting, but never tell the group

Serious, fuck you. Finds plot items, never writes them down, and when they become relevant, he said he lost them.

This sounds exactly like a player I know.
Does the name start with an M?

>"im going to be keeping all that treasure for myself, if you don't mind."

"Oh no! You touched the cursed ring, Aaayashavani, which tore BBEG's soul from his body and started this whole mess."

>What? No I didn't.

"You did. You picked up the treasure in alphabetical order since you didn't specify. Your life force is sucked out from the tips of your fingers and your character's lifeless body falls to the ground, an inanimate pile of gears."

"Anyway, next campaign can either be about rescuing [dickhead]'s soul from the Plane of Literally Endless Traps, or it can be about overthrowing the regime of Dwarf Hitler. Sleep on it and get back to me, I'll make an anonymous poll on facebook."

Nah it begins with an A, sucks to know you have shitters in your party too user

What can be done about characters who feel the need to murder/enslave/con people at any turn?

We're trying to build a kingdom and all this guy does is execute people who surrender and try to enslave their children. He always shrugs it off as "they attacked us" as if the world is some kind of AnCap meme where the NAP dictates the death of everyone but us.

>What can be done about characters who feel the need to murder/enslave/con people at any turn?

Kill them, obviously. Tempt them into the realm of a vengeful god, target them with templar assassins, have scorned slaves rise up and murder the party, change the game date and accidentally forget to tell him, etc etc

>Makes another overpowered character and kills dwarf Hitler from his house on the other side of the world.
Sounds fun

why would he be invited again?

Kyle invites himself.

If you do not invite him, he comes into your house anyway.

If you lock the door, he dimension shifts himself through the O83/74th dimension and appears at your table anyway.

THAT GUY INVADES THE THREAD!

HE makes a barricade and gets +5 defense.
He begins shitting your games with orbital fuck you strikes!

What do you do????

>oh hey guys my dad works for the NSA and I saw in your group chat that you’re having a game tonight
>character sheet? Nah but I can roll one up now and level it to 5
Fuck

>Oh hey, yeah, you know how you totally killed off my character? well heh, it turns out he's actually the son of god and he rises three days later to join the party again anyway... sooooo.......... yeah.
>see you sunday!

Rolled 853975116691676161 + 18 (1d10000000000000000000000 + 18)

I roll to ignore him, succeeding on a 20 or higher

>Makes another overpowered character

"Oh, by the way, we're trying out 5e for the next campaign."

>Kyle turns red, tries to say something, but shits his pants in anger while yelling incoherently before exploding
>everyone else is only mildly bothered

>*passes DM a note*
>"I want to backstab the wizard"

>My character only have one weakness and if you use it against me, I know you are metagaming!

It's called not walking outside, faggot

Is that better or worse than That Guy who discovers something interesting / dire, but then willingly retains that info and doesn't tell anybody?

Imagine we were in a library looking for a book so our wizard can learn a spell to help our quest, but That Guy found the book first, kept the book, and not tell anybody.

HmMMM!????!

That guy uses dispelling force of screen reason:

Your action is cancelled.
You are dispelled.
You are on fire.

What do you Do ???

>Not smart enough to optimize well
>Rest of players in my group powergame as much as possible
>Dm ramps up difficulty to challenge them
>Every single battle is life-or-death since the enemies are too high level for me to effectively deal with

...

Not to mention he's always on his phone the moment he isn't in the "spotlight" ITS A FUCKING CO-OP GAME YOU DICK!

Fuck that. If I were DM, I'd have a monster attack him in a way where the bookflew out from his possession and spilled on to the floor.

Mkyle strikes again!

...

Who even brought Kyle in, anyway? I bet it was Todd or Tucker.

>Our ability to move forward with our quest hinges on our ability to talk our way out of and/or through a situation with someone we must barter with for a quest item and/or our very lives
>Everyone tries reasoning with this someone for whatever that thing is.
>Kyle throws insults,preaches about how the someone has no honor, and overall acts generally hostile.
>Our session ends with the understanding that the someone will not give us what we want unless we fight him, an outcome every single one of us was trying to avoid
>See you next time, adventurers
Fuck you, Kyle, we're now one session further away from reaching the climax because your sorry ass can't hold in your shit.

May this player wallow in unhappiness forever and ever.

this but instead of
>>"how come you're always focusing on everyone else giving them cool rivals and stories like that?"
it's
>the other guys are doing something sneaky, better go alert all the guards and sabotage them

>I am hating 5e but this shit is getting ridiculous.
There are games besides Pathfinder and 5e. Why not try one that isn't garbage?

>Plane of Literally Endless Traps
Why would anyone want to leave?

I for the life of me cannot figure out why people do shit like this other than just for the sake of being a dick. TTRPGs are co-op, not competitive. Stop trying to fuck over your teammates.

>in a long-abandoned military fort
>need to pass through a dark room that has a swarm of bats sleeping in the rafters
>that guy casts fireball directly at the bats as a prank (I think he may have been ooc mad at one of the other players, I don't remember)
>based GM has the bats only target that guy and the rest of us move on without him

Reminds me of a time I was playing with Kyle, we were talking to an important NPC we really needed to get on our side and Kyle (playing a rogue, of course) tried to steal the ring he was wearing.

Shitty players are shitty regardless of game.

Boot if they refuse to reform.

>just k-kick him! just kick him!
>i-i-i donnt want to teach him how to play properly!

>Being a jackass, deliberately ruining a game and demanding people deal with you.
Its simple you absolute faggot. If you don't want to and don't try make it fun for everybody involved you are not welcome.

>its not fun unless you do EXACTLY WHAT I WANT YOU TO!
It's a collaboratve effort you stupid autistic bitch, your're character is not the only person allowed to do anything at this table, clearly this hobby is not for you since you want to be a spechsul snowflaek

Traps (inanimate), not traps (female (male)).

>My character has no reason to be with you guys
>Let me take the girl we have to save back to my house and rape her
>Bye
>Also let me come back at the end, because I'm at the table and even though I ollied outie I deserve attention

Hey now, dragonwrought kobolds are a fun to run option. All you have to do is NOT make it old as fuck just for those extra bonuses.

Why do people think Dragonwrought Kobolds don't take aging penalties, anyway? It doesn't actually say that.

Kyle is a cunt, but this guy could also be called Michael.

Fucking Michael.

>Player constantly is gunning for crunch over fluff
>His characters make no sense and are just cookie cutters from builds online
>Whenever he gets a chance for character building he ignores it
>The one time he tried to get fluffy he explicitly tried to get things I said weren't allowed because "they were part of his backstory"
>The backstory he didn't clear before saying it's canon
>Gets pissy and pouts the whole game
>My face

Everyone else in my group is decent to great. But he just looks up builds and goes full optimum with no room for anything else. GOD DAMN IT

Craigs are always solid players in my experiences. But Michaels and Kyles are awful.

P. 39 of "Races of Dragon", table 3-3

"...Ability penalties due to age do not apply to dragonwrought kobolds. See Dragonwrought feat..."

The cheese is real.

party is in a comfort zone and I don't have any other friends willing to play a better system

tried many times to teach them to build upon bad habits, to no avail

>Being rescue from
>Plane of Literally Endless Traps

Why you ever want to leave from that place?

>tfw everybody offers “talk to your problem player like an adult and kick them if they don’t improve” like it’s always going to be a straightforward, easy solution to That Guy
>tfw you play roleplaying games with your circle of real-life friends who you know and hang out with outside the game so kicking your That Guy under any circumstance will lead to a bunch of irl pettiness over “the hangouts I’m not invited to anymore” that will just succeed in further straining your social life
ha ha I want to die

>Having a social life
You're doing it wrong

Find a nice group online, that's what I did.

I don't have to constrain myself to my normie friends which have the attention span of toddlers.My current party went through 3 systems the last 3 years having one DH2 campaign for over a year and a half.

I regret nothing. Also not having to witness cringelords in person is also a big plus IMO.
All of the guys in the party want to roleplay so we value and respect eachother.

I had to go through a couple of R20 groups before though . I can say I can really grow old with my party.

Love you guys

This was old, but it angers me to this day. Anyone rememberthat old story about demgods? Well, I sort of took that and made it my own. They played demigods, certainly, but they weren't aiming to become gods.

Well, one of the players was a demigod of happiness. Or so he started out as. He then changed it to madness, chaos, beauty, then happiness again. He then fucked with an actual god and got killed. No saves. He was a major god too and fucked him in his own domain where's the other players wanted ot negotiate.

Well, he threw a hissy fit and I ended the session there because I didn't want to argue. Told him I'll instead give him a curse. The curse was he couldn't smile or laugh. A pretty good curse for a demigod of happiness and laughs, no? Wasn't even that he got any atual penalties, just RP wise.

Well, he threw another hissy fit and I booted him. It was an RP based game with a total of 3 combat sessions in a 30-something long campaign, and I even told him that he could go on a quest to remove the curse. Nope, threw an even stronger hisy fit. I retconned that the thing never happened and they could renegotiate with the god. Went pretty awesome after that.

Oh, and the funniest part of the whole thing? THe guy wanted to fuck with the lady of pain. I love Planescape, and I told them that once they became demigods they sort of knew the positioning of the multiverse and how to travel from one plain to another, but that if they did, they'd lose most of their powers and immortality. After all, their godshad no power there. And this guys, this fucking gay went "I want to go fuck with the Lady of Pain". Couldn't kill her so he wanted to steal something. I didn't allow him ot even travel there, because he was a demigod.

How do the other players feel about this policy?

>THe guy wanted to fuck with the lady of pain
lmao, the puss would drive him insane.

Complains about committing suicide in the game and then cry to the DM about it. Good thing you booted that whiny ass.

>Plane of Literally Endless Traps
Indeed

I'm glad you choose to play with autistic children who don't listen to you. No one else is under the same obligation.

Just because

>Obliterate laser, can't resurrect without a body
>Vat of acid in an anti-magic, anti-regeneration circle
>"I'm the GM, no you don't."

>Boss uses untyped damage which has no resistance or blocking
>SoD/SoS spells
>Debuffs to reduce immunities/resistance

>>My character has no reason to be with you guys
>"Roll a new character then. If your character has no reason to be with the party, make one that does."

Is the player younger than 13? Because if a grown man needs to be told how taking turns and sharing works, he can play fucking candyland until he works it out.

Because Warhammer Fantasy Roleplay 2e books are really expensive these days.

Actually, I play a druid.

...

Dude wtf.

Everyone knows its you Cartman. Stop shit posting!

oh god, a reality warper that won't stop fucking with you or touching your stuff. it'd be like dealing with that dude from that old adult swim show super jail

>Warhammer Fantasy Roleplay 2e
>isn't garbage
Good joke.

Veeky Forums forgive me I have sinned
I was in a multiplayer edh game on cockatrice which was labelled casual
I loaded up Sisay legend/ramp edh with gaddock teeg and brisela and claimed I didnt know it wasnt casual. I feigned ignorance and said "well it straight up loses to blue so its casual"

Then in that same group I apolagized and rolled up my mono red wheel deck and landed a psycho crawler into a lot of draw spells. I feigned ignorance once again saying "well now no one can plan anything so its casual"

I then loaded up my Jund edh with Xira and proceeded to drop garruk relentless and liliana of the veil into goyf and other huge mean things before we decided to call it quits

I still pretended to be retarded that entire night, im sorry guy i played with but it was too funny not to keep doing

Get the pdfs.

A guy I'm playing with is playing a latex-clad gigantess that eats people to gain back health, like holy shit dude, can you BE anymore obvious?

> That group that only wants to play D&D 3.5 ovet and over again.

> That group that calls you a contrarian if you ever want to play something different.

> That fucking group that still wonders why you do not wanna play with them anymore.

"no"

What if Michael is their middle name?

>It's yet another "I am unable to ban the OP garbage from my table, let alone the faggot player" episode
>again
At this point you're That Guy as much as That Guy is.

>kyle comes back with a coffeelock

>starting a 5e game
>party has been summoned by a lord to do a quest
>preamble about the lord being a famously kind and generous person to his subjects
>that guy immediately demands more money from the lord
>his characters greedy whatever
>gets but hurt about the dm not giving him more money when he didn't even roleplay the conversation
>tries to seduce the lords wife into a lesbian relationship (he's playing a 16 year old girl)
>she ignores him because she loves her husband
>that guy gets even more angry with the dm
>everyone decides to explore the town a bit
>that guy heads into the tavern
>begins singing, as he describes it, anti-lord propaganda
>says out of character that his pc is basically a communist
>dm tosses him a bone and says one halfing in the tavern agrees with him
>that guy demands the halfing give him money
>he fails his rolls
>at this point he's furious at the dm for only having one npc agree with his communist propaganda
>dm tries to remind him of the preamble, and how everyone in the town is content and loves their lord
>that guy doesn't give a shit and says the dm is no fun allowed

What a fucking session.

>A personally greedy communist
pottery

>murder his character next time he pulls this shit

>Combat encounter
>Pumped up the difficulty for once
>Kyle rolls a 3, misses
>"GOD DAMMIT, WHAT THE FUCK YOU'RE FUCKING CHEATING user"
>Derails game into giant baby-argument because he's not insta-hitting like usual
>Storms out
>Have to continue session next week.

Fucking Kyle.

in the groups i've played in it's normally the guy who's optimized solely for combat, so when the party attempts to circumvent combat encounters he get's pissy because being sidelined bothers him.

Better idea have the "specter of communism" attack him next time he pulls that shit.

One of the players in my group does that, but it was as a meme and he plays it well

>That dm who can't commit to a system
>that dm who springs new shit on us every other week and demand we learn it
>that dm more interested in a systems niche appeal then weather or not it's fun
>that dm smugly enjoying his no games while the group goes back to what it knows and likes

>I don't need to know. he had a knife, he knew my name, two and two, it's an encounter and I'm not going to let him get the drop on me.
He knows what's up.

My DMs have not been nice DMs.