Cooking Monsters

Oh the Flumph. What cruel twist of nature made you so?

I bet their horrific edible results came as evolution to discourage predators in their home dimension. Alas, it does not stop them being flumphs.

I wrote a Monster Menu-All. All the AD&D monsters, tabulated and sorted, with flavours and effects.

Holy shit user, this is awesome. You've inspired me to try and do the same with some of the later Monster Manuals. I'd love to just comb through stuff like the Fiend Folio or the giant mess of 3.pf Manuals and making cookbooks out of them.

You know what, I'm gonna do this. Someone throw a monster of some kind at me, I'll stat up its cuts and effects.

It's a blessing from the gods. One of the few they have.

>Flumphs.

I'm just passing through, but I did a series last summer on how some of the more unusual monsters survive in the wild and the Flumphf was one of them.

This is just my own world-building head canon/fluff, but I figured that the Flumph's unique life cycle was that of a hostile, parasitic, fungi that preyed exclusively on psychic creatures, specifically (because it's a sapient creature possessing morality) it's favored target being Beholders. It would infect a Beholder with it's spores (which the poor Beholder merely had to inhale or get caught in it's giant vulnerable eye) and after a few weeks would die before eventually it's whole body developing and germinating into a thick bed of Flumph Mycelium and Fungi.
Eventually the little baby Flumphs would 'pick' themselves up off the Mind flayers mummified corpse and continue on their lives....

So, yes, right, anyway; they're mushrooms, but I agree with that user in that they're extremely psychedelic and toxic: so provided you manage to survive your cold sweat spirit journey, you still have to worry about vomiting and the loss of bowel control.

Flumphs being mushroom people is great, and I really like that idea of them being anti-psionic predators.

I would love to have the kind of players that cook creatures they find in dungeons. But... You know... They're not. I may run a food-oriented campaign one day.

Anyway, I think owlbear meat could taste good... Like, a mix between bird and bear wild game. Hard to cook for sure but would surely be nice in a stew. Or in tartar

I like the idea that Bugbears sometimes manage to hunt an Owlbear and they have a big communal Owlbear roast with the rest of their tribe. They roast it underground and have a little festival where they feast on the succulent catch. Owlbear feathers and claws are considered amulets of prosperity to them, since culturally they have connotations of plenty.

Howsabout a death kiss?