I made a game

I made it a while back, I only convinced my friends to play one game of it. It's a miniatures game about building kingdoms from tribes and forging alliances while having both a core group of heroes and a regular standing army. Any feedback is appreciated.

Please also send suggestions to my email, included in the document.

Character sheet included

I bump only for interest

I appreciate the fact that interest exists.

So is that like a strategy battle game ?
You could do a *chuckle to death* sub reddit for it.
Could you make a video to explain rules ?
Also I only read the first 10 Pages.
Do you know discord ? You could make one for it. To report battles etc...

Strategy battle game, yeah. Necromunda inspired with a faster, warmachiney combat and a deeper post battle system and character customization. I could make a video, this is an excellent idea, and I could definitely and will immediately make a Discord, which I will include in future versions of the rules. Subreddit is a great idea, but so far I think you are the person I have confirmed read the second most of the rules, and that seems like a "couple of people care" option.

discord dot gg slash DcH8tdv

To actually sell the game for a moment, you pick from one of six races of men and monsters, build a team of heroes, and then fight to grab resources and rally soldiers to your banner to build a kingdom.

Races give you a benefit, but the whole thing is pretty customizable, so you can be front stoneman fire wizards or animalmen with an illusionist, or human assassins and dog trainers.

This is the game where you are a true king trying to rise your kingdom to become a legend while fighting w/ friends .
An army of holy blazing knight VS a whole set of warbear ? Can do it.
Sauron VS the Middle Earth ?
Metal heads kingdom ?
Darksoulesque world ?
Cheap Warhammer ?

YES YES YES ! ! !!
I'm maybe burning my hands here, because I need to playtest it first, but it seems a really crazy game.

Bumping because Veeky Forums actually making something tangible is so rare these days

Ok, is it a game or a highschool paper your teacher required you to make at-least ninety pages?

11pt font, single spaced, narrow margins, please. Why would you want to add pages to an electronic document? Just to make people have to scroll, more often? It's needlessly, annoyingly long.

I did my best! I hope you enjoy playtesting it!

Formatting is not my strong suit, and I appreciate the feedback. Would you mind giving me your opinion on how to improve the skill chapter?

From what I've read so far I think the biggest thing you need is some layout and design, because otherwise this thing is great. I'm glad to see people on Veeky Forums are still making cool stuff, and I'd love to give this a play.

Please do, and any formatting advice is very welcome.

>11pt font
no

11pt is the standard, correct font size. Go be wrong elsewhere.

Here's some things that came to mind wth the little amount of it that I've had the time to read (I'm at work, so I haven't been able to pour over the whole thing yet.).

>1. Put the pre-section fiction (like the one before the Beast section) in a different font, or at least italics. Makes it easier to tell at a glance that it's something different than rules.
>2. Put the Rules section with different font as well, or if you have the option for very different text, put them in a differently colored box from the background, to make clear what are the core rules and what isnt.
>3.Honestly a lot of these font things you could also do with good use of bolding or italicizing the titles of things.

Just my preliminary thoughts though. Bolds, italics, and use of stuff like bullet points could really help with making this a bit more easy to read.

Thanks! I will do this for the next version!

on my quick read through i noticed one typo pg 12 - 13 break you switch how you are saying engage in cannabalism in the middle of the sentence, looks good ill try to browbeat some friends into a game

Thanks for spotting that one and I wish you more luck than I've had!

Can this be converted to fit something like necroumdas post game/this is not a tests post game instead of staying fantasy?

It's cool, but, I'm wondering if I should experiment with it at all.

I'm going to say yes, but it's geared towards something with a class system.
I've made it work across a couple of genres by changing the pastiche (Magic turns into tech pretty easily and weapons covers ranged weapons), but you might have to mess with the core Necromunda rules or be happy running a full settlement.
That said,if you've ever wanted to run a full settlement in Necromunda, I've got you.

Bump for more helpful advice