GOLEM THREAD

Flesh golems=frankenstein
Iron (and other metal)=robots, steam and electricity maybe involved, speak in robotic voice and may contain electronic circuits
Clay=actual truth powered golems of jewish tradition, have paper with word truth (in hebrew) inside that is their weak spot.
Stone golems=living statues that may look like gargoyles or grecoroman sculptures, can also be some times just animated pile of stones.

That's how I roll.

Attached: chalk-slate-500x500.jpg (500x500, 40K)

Patrician taste, goyim

Just because they have nothing to say to *you* it does not mean they don't talk.

Attached: going-postal.jpg (400x225, 26K)

What movie is this?

"Going Postal", as the filename suggest :) from one of Terry Pratchett's Discworld books.

Two questions for you.

1: What would happen if you made a golem entirely out of cursed weapons? (every part is made of joined smelted weaponry).

2: If all of the material for construction of a golem was taken from the rubble of a castle, would the golem imprint on the castle, or the being who made it?

1:It wouldn't exactly be friendly, in fact, I would recomend getting the hell away from it asap after activating it, with evil magic powers at your discretion

2:Unless the castle is magical or blessed in some way, it is just your average golem. If it is blessed, the golem will fiercely defend the castle/people within the castle

In relation to question one, when you say 'unfriendly' are we talking insane/berserk uncontrollable, or just a mean bastard?

I want it to be evil, that's the goal.

If the evil man gave you a cursed weapon to kill you, and you use the weapon to make a weapon to make a golem, the golem will try to kill you

Oh I see, I think you misunderstand the situation, I work for the evil man. The goal is to make something evil, but possible to control.

>and you use the weapon to make a weapon to make a golem
this reads like a ytp
Why not just make a regular golem and give it the commands to do evil shit?

I guess it would depend what kind of curses were said weapons loaded with.

It's an experiment, I came up with the idea of inscripting curses on a variety of weapons, melt-joining them together in one big body, and animating it as a golem.

>How do you treat Golems?
Depends on the Golem. Most are nearly mindless, and a pain in the ass to program. Some are fully sentient and have a will of their own. They are more useful because of their greater autonomy, but you have to handle them carefully lest they go rogue.

>Stone faith powered Constructs?
Mostly Mithril and Adamantite, with a few stone golems polymorphed into living flesh to serve in the great hall (pic related).

Attached: barmaid.jpg (500x726, 47K)

>Both are good, but not co-existing.

It worked alright for Discworld

Discworld kind of had both in the same clay, so to speak. Having them side by side as separate entities seems weird to me, for some reason.

Where did the whole "genies will twist your words against you" trope come from?

Attached: tumblr_nj6qdw9mow1t09dnqo1_1280.gif (800x626, 389K)

Cursed weapons ultimately harm their owners, right? I wouldn't want to command that golem.

Not sure where it started but I'm pretty sure its an old, old folklore thing present in many cultures.

>activate it
>immedeatly get punched

What a grand idea, a golem that is given as a "gift" only and immediately destroys its owner when used. That's not really what I was hoping for though. Maybe it should be made of evilly enchanted weaponry or simply weapons that have been used for killing thousands of times already.

Partly from stories where genies punish those who have grandiose wishes as a warning against hubris and partly from humor depicting literal minded genies messing up wishes as a play on words.

I think that it ultimately comes down to the logistics of cursing a lot of items vs cursing an entire golem
>Gets freed 1 day late from his thousand year prison and wants to kill the first person he sees

Is Thomas the Tank Engine a golem?

Now I'm wondering what would happen if it was all executioner's weaponry that had been used thousands of times, or if it was all undead flesh.

Technically he's sentient because of the stories told about him and people's belief in his aliveness.
So whatever closest creature that is.

No, just a magical construct. There are many constructs in Monster Manual that aren't golems.

No, he's a construct of Triobrand, he is called Triobrand's Dank Engine of Motion.

Objectively, he's a lesser daedra.

trains aren't daedra, Thomas is a shard of the time locomotive

Be careful what you wish for is a very old trope:

>Upon finding the drunken satyr Silenus, a follower of Dionysus, trespassing on his property, Midas treated him hospitably for ten days rather than punishing him. Dionysus offered Midas a reward for his charity, offering him anything he wanted; Midas asked that anything he touched be turned to gold. Although the god warned him that he had made a foolish wish, he still granted it. Though Midas was happy at first, it soon became obvious that he had indeed been foolish. His daughter was quickly turned into a statue by this power, and Midas couldn't even touch food without it turning to gold. When faced with starvation, he begged Dionysus to take the gift back.

Attached: harem.png (1280x720, 2.16M)

So heres some interesting experimental suggestions on what to make your next golem out of.

>Fluid Mercury
>Fresh (i.e. still green leaves) branches
>Flesh taken from zombies and ghouls
>Jewels
>Stained Glass
>Weapons
>Textile
>Coins
>Pieces of magic tablets
>Hair/Rope
>Scarecrow

>I read the first thing as freddy mercury
>Gay Aids Singing Golem

Wow, Dionysus is a dick

Attached: furnace golem by jon comoglio.jpg (1548x1623, 319K)

Did you expect anything else from greek gods?

>We Will Rock You

Animated scarecrows should be the construct equivalent of shitty undead like zombies and skeletons. Relatively easy and cheap to make human-scale servants but easily destroyed.

Both are good, but YES co-existing

Thats true but there I actually meant 1 golem made out of a pile of scarecrows, not an animated scarecrow.

>trains aren't daedra

you sure about that?

Attached: thomas_is_a_daedra.png (532x545, 52K)

>offer dumbass anything
>picks a stupid wish
>tells him it's a bad idea and he should pick something else
>insists, so you comply
>take it back when he regrets it
Seems more than fair to me.

and now, some more interesting experimental suggestions for golems

>compost
>fossil bones
>broken magical armors
>broken magical weapons
>dust
>cobweb
>broken furniture
>blades
>brains (just brains)
>eyeballs (just eyeballs)
>spoiled food
>hops (as in beer hops)
>tripe

Golemmancy is an outdated technic for the creation of sapient beings used on the first experiments by the gods, who later developed homunculi and eventually fully fleshed humans. Playing-God mortals managed to dominate this area and some are trying even further with the synthesis of homunculi, mostly with horrifying or tragic results

Attached: golem-replicas.jpg (640x426, 72K)

Material in shape of creature creating it with insane amount of flexibility while keeping the original material physics.

So a literal slab of steel is walking around, bending knees and arms while breakdancing and while this looks soft touch it and a yarring reality as it should be vs reality as it is will happen, they're solid as fuck.

I feel like fluid mercury would result in a Terminator 2-like golem

most likely something similar.

Here's a crazy thought; a CAKE golem.

mtg already did it

Attached: file.png (640x469, 590K)

Look out! it's a diabeetus monster! call wilford brimley! this is it! this is the end of little rico!

>squash

Actually a sugar golem doesn't sound like a bad idea.

In fact, ANY food golem doesn't sound like a bad idea. Just animate your food on a journey instead of carrying it. Pick off bits and pieces as you need to.

Attached: 300px-Wilford_Brimley.jpg (300x304, 15K)

And we shall call him Fat albert.

>HAY HAY HAY!

Has anyones DM ever been a big enough faggot to make them fight these things?

Attached: Neutronium Golem.jpg (347x486, 47K)

Yes. I screamed "YOU SON OF A BIIIITCH!" and then rolled a nat-20 and killed it in one move.

Was pretty funny, actually.

Just use forks and wear cloth gloves jackass. Come on Midas. It’s justt hand contact not fucking memetic gold contact.

Yes coexisting
youtube.com/watch?v=895pIjyRUIk

>In fact, ANY food golem doesn't sound like a bad idea.
There are some food golems in an April issue of Dragon Magazine.

UNDEAD OR ALIVE, YOU ARE COMING WITH ME.

So how might it function if a golem was made entirely of brains, eyes, or cobwebs?

Pretty sure it wasn't just his hands- any food or drink that touched his mouth would also turn to gold. Dehydration is a rough way to go.

Attached: Warforged Barbarian.jpg (1280x1024, 290K)