A new type of armor

Hey guys, us guys and gals at the guild of armorers were trying some new ideas out some new ideas and we came up with a new type of armor better than scales or Maile. It's a solid plate of tempered steel that you wear over your torso. It's far better against arrows or piercing blows than mail ever was, has no weak spots like scale does, weighs half as much and we can bang several of them out in the time it takes to make a single chain vest.

So how many can I put you down for?

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>Implying that forging such a large steel plate is possible.
You're not fooling anyone user, you just made an old bronze breastplate and painted it grey.

Um, how about you use a less sexist sounding term than "maile" you fucking sexist pig?

haha that looks retarded how do you even bend in it this will never catch on Sven

Umm...how do you duck in that?

>makes new armor
>dirty as fuck
jesus christ.

like breast plate?

wow, it's just a corazzina that you were too lazy to decorate

fuck off mate, that'll never catch on

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>needing armor
laughingwoads.jpg

How do you put it on?

Just drop by the guildhouse around lunchtime for the proofing tests.

>gals of the guild of armorers

Ulrich von Liechtenstein won't have a woman working on his armour. Especially not this 'plate' nonsense.

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Lo! It is of solide steele, and therefore thee common solder will find himself so cruelly vexed by the inabbility to contort his bodie, that he, being grately frustrated, will loth to don it.

Bu wot if I get itchie Arny? Howm I gonna scratch?

But where do the breasts go for women blessed with gratuitous mammaries?

Remove this faggot slanderous peasant impostor from the premises with haste. He shames my good name, and my bountiful love for all things wrought by the fairer sex.

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Underrated

That's nothing. Wait'll the world sees MY new invention.

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Where are the breasts?

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WE NEED TO GO BACK

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They're not exactly directly comprable you know. I'm sure it's nice but you don't have to be a dick about it.

So hear me out on this, I know it's going to sound crazy but bare with me.

You know those little steam toys? The ball you pour water in and hold it over a candle til it spins? So, long story short, I was looking at the windmills then the toy and it got me to pondering if you could run a mill house with such a thing?

Is it bullet proof?

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I think it is an assortment of leather straps. Like you put the front and the back and then somehow strap them together.

Main issue should be flexibility and comfort. Don't daydream about sleeping in it.

Because rivers and wind are plentiful and don't require a fire?

Yeah actually, even modern firearms of small caliber have trouble penetrating steel plate. Leaves sizable dents and would probably knock the wind out you, but steel plate can protect you from musket balls.

OH GOD, THERE'S NOTHING BUT RELIGIOUS TRACTS AND POOOOORN!

You know why we don't make them bigger?

They explode.

>nothing but Vatican copy pasta
No thanks shlomo, I'll stick with my glorious illuminated texts

Lol no

I'll order a set for the paladin, got any kind of quiet armour? I may need it for my next adventure.

bullet proof is a term that literally originates with plate armor
armorsmiths would discharge a weapon at their breastplates and use the resulting indent as proof of their armor's quality

Looks too stiff. One sharp blow with a hammer will contort it and it will become unusable. Do you have a money back guarantee?

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>muh gunz killed the knight guise I swear
>muh black powder settings don’t have plate because gunz are da bestest
Laughably false.

That's why to this very day we still use plate armor and pike squares. Because "gunz" just can't compete.

It wasn't guns that ended the era of pika & shot. It was CANNONS reasonably deployable in non-siege situations. All the armor in the world just makes you an expensive corpse when a cannonball flies through your formation. Here ends the history lesson.

You are as stupid as you sound.

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It's literally the same thing with different quality.

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Ballistic plate is like an inch of ceramic

That's some quality samefagging there. So let's see if I understand this:

> guns didn't end the plate era, cannons did
And cannons totally aren't a kind of gun, I suppose they're just big crossbows.

> but people are still wearing plate
I thought cannons ended plate?

> ballistic plate still beats guns
Yep, definitely no way a gun could harm the guy in

oh my, looks like one of my ideas!
what does yours do though

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Yes and?
You switch out the old cheap material for a new cheap one with more stopping power.

Also not a samefag you colossal faggt

I'll explain it to you.
Things go away
and somethimes they come back
If proper changes have been done to the concept or execution.
Like Body armor

Also Pic isn't plate armor, it's a chestplate with cloth armor it.
like a bulletproof vest.
you cock nobbler

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Goofed up a little with the picture.
But at least i can admit it.

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We seem to have an user here who genuinely thinks that modern guns are exactly the same as medieval guns. That's kind of sad, even for Veeky Forums.

you can still compare modern small calibers with medieval rifles in term of penetration if I recall correctly

That's a lot of name calling just to admit you were wrong.

I think you just put your finger on it. We ALL agree that guns beat plate at some point. We ALL agree that at some point early guns were not good enough to beat plate. But certain geniuses
think "gun beats armor" is some kind of ridiculous meme.

>That's a lot of name calling just to admit you were wrong.

Neither I did nor I am

Well, that's a lot of namecalling to unintentionally admit you're wrong, then.

Okay you lost me a little, or you don't know what you are saying.

How was i wrong ?

>b-but cannons are a kind of gun
Good thing they're talking about armor being bulletproof, not gunproof. Does your cannon shoot bullets?

>weighs half as much
citation needed

Steel? For real? Listen OP, forget metals: Giant Demon clam seashell is the future of armoring.

> how was I wrong?
You mean, besides denying that cannons used powder?

here is you (you)

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>lol this is bait
>lol here's your (You)
Don't parrot memes in a context they don't make sense just because you're salty some dude disagreed with you.

Guys you can have both armor and arquebuses, it's kickass.

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Example 2

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Example 3

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Gentlemen, gentlemen, this is Veeky Forums, we don't have to fight in such an unseemly way.

Now can we all agree that even the most powerful modern rifle is incapable of penetrating plate, unlike the mighty English longbow?

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Example 4

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>settledcuck bows
>worth shit

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Supplies motivation for the use of your invention.

>those nipples
Oy vey, don't you know you need to buy our thick padded bras so you can be sexy and attractive and therefore confident? Don't go without a bra, somebody might realize you have nipples and that means they're sexualizing you and the patriarchy wins.

What a fucking great movie

That's the most aesthetic thing I've seen this week.

You know, you CAN just say "nice tits" without the oh-so-edgy anti-Semitic shit.

>English longbow
>penetrating plate
Trigger warning next time please, that's up there with "dinosaurs didn't have feathers" on my personal 'tism buttons.

>Making that much steel without pissing off every dwarf merchant in the country and half the ones out of it

Pull the other one, mate. I've got solid gold bells on it.

Yeah, yeah, show us another Cathayan toy. What's next, a flying' carpet?

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Does it come with abs?
I know the ladies realize the abs on the armor doesn't represent the abs underneath, but I want them to subcounsciously think of abs when they see me in my armor.

So, I'm going to sound like a retard, but why don't you put an outwardly bent wedge on it, like on the keel of a boat?

Hawlole you were BTFO

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Oh sorry armorlet I didn't see you there, could you repeat that?

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"Center Mass"?

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Hilariously unwieldy looking golden can. Rad.

Going rabbit hunting again?

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Sorry, wizards give us rock golem armour at half the price and time thanks to Min Max, local twat.

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this guy could walk in front of a machine gun and laugh it off

deal with it

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No you can't. Because medieval and early modern bullets are round balls or squares of lead shoved down a primitive blackpowder gun which might not even be rifled. Even a .22 caliber bullet meant for shooting hares is more aerodynamic and shaped to penetrate hard surfaces than a round ball.

unless he got hit in the arms, legs or face, in which case he'd still fucking die.