Bar General

Tell us your bar stories, best moments, worst moments, what you typically order, etc.

i usually drink a bunch of bud lights and find the sluttiest dressed girl there and try to get her to touch my penis

solid strategy right here

I drink alone and browse Veeky Forums and touch my own penis

Bartender at a restaurant here. Lady came in with toddlers and asked if she could sit at my bar. I told her yes, as long she kept an eye on the kids. She responded by calling me an asshole and leaving.

I've seen some pretty unfair situations at the restaurant, but this was the first time my hospitality was spit back in my face.

I don't get it. In places like the UK it's totally normal to bring your kids to a bar. On Sundays it's practically a family affair with Sunday roasts and a few lagers with the misses and her with her wine. Why can't bars be a place where all people can congregate?

Because American alcohol laws are fucking illogically insane

The Otakon /cgl/ meetup usually gets together around the fountain, then everybody walks to a little bar a few blocks away from the convention center.
We've been doing it for years and they love our group, but I always like to imagine a bartender shitting himself when a horde of Jojos or girls in poofy lolita dresses flood their bar.

I was once in a bar with a fifty year old and an eighty year old, and we started talking about how we'd prefer to die. I said I'd like to get it over quick and easy, just suddenly exploding in a plane. The fifty year old said he'd like to slowly freeze to death, relatively painless but plenty of time to think about his life. Then it was the eighty year old's turn. Without hesitation, he said,

"I'd like to be killed by a jealous husband."

>a horde of Jojos or girls in poofy lolita dresses
so it's a bunch of skinnyfat guys in crop tops and manfaced whales dressed like honey booboo

Was the eighty year old a big black bull?

>freeze to death
>painless

nope

>General

Unless the bar specifically has some sort of family-friendly time on Sunday, bringing a kid is unfair for other patrons and the kids themselves.

Bar customers should be able to relax at a bar without having to worry about language or risque subjects. The kids shouldn't have to witness adults acting like stupid assholes.

I tape my cock down, dress real slutty, find the big shot pounding back bud light and I touch his penis.

I've kicked more people out of a bar just being a person there than I have when I worked a job to do that. I guess I'm more understanding when someone's being a dick to someone other than me.

I don't have any good stories really outside of triangle choking a dude who sucker punched and knocked me down and then he tried to bite my balls or something but just bit into my jeans before he got choked out entirely.

I kicked a dude in the chest trying to get through the front door and onto the curb when he wouldn't leave and then kept trying to get back in.

I grabbed someone's chair and pulled it as hard as possible causing them to fall straight into the ground at full force which probably hurt their tailbone a bit.

Found two dudes blowing each other on a weekday afternoon in the bathroom at like 2pm

choked a dude with a broom handle when i was cleaning up cigarette butts outside and he swung at someone.

refused a few trannies like this guy because their looks didn't match their IDs and watched them bitch for a few minutes before leaving.

Americans have bars
UK has public houses aka pubs
Might be the source of the problem

Not that I disapprove your methods, but how the fuck are you not spending time in jail right now? Half of those incidents would be classified as aggravated assault.

>In places like the UK it's totally normal to bring your kids to a bar
Woah there buddy.
I think you need to step back and get your facts straight.

Not all Pubs are equal. Some are just drinking pubs, some are really restaurants that have a bar.

he's not in jail because none of those things actually happened

I was 21 and wanted to go to a bar. Never been to a bar. So I see this place called Soupie's that looks like a nice college bar. I go inside.

>It's a fucking biker bar.

So here's this skinny kid getting catcalls from all the SAMCRO motherfuckers having their beers. I didn't puss out, mainly to save face. I ordered a few and got the fuck out of there. Nobody really messed with me but I was scared as Hell.

>best moment
hooking up with a cute bartender and getting free shit from her for months

>worst moment
puking all over the bar after getting plastered on my birthday

these both happened at the same bar, shame that place is gone.

Do something about it, faggot

>refused a few trannies like this guy because their looks didn't match their IDs and watched them bitch for a few minutes before leaving.

That's not a bar, it's a restaurant.