Cooking pet peeves thread. I'll start

Dipshits who have to have everything tailored to their insane, petty, childish needs. maybe it's from working hospitality
for so many years in a pretty conservative culinary climate but these stupid motherfuckers make me want to scream.

Faggots on TV and YouTube cooking videos who put cilantro on fucking everything. Disgusting.

>the word 'umami'
>calling minced meat 'hamburger'

Your genes are defective. Look up 'cilantro soap gene.'

In other words you still can't identify umami so complain about it to justify your ignorance.

That fucking 'Tasty' page on Facebook and similar pages. Everyove loves the shit that they put up on there. They think that putting mozzerella and bacon on anything makes is the best dish ever. Its just bad fucking cooking and people fucking lapp it up

No, your genes are defective. I can actually taste the shit chemicals that are in cilantro, and you cant.

So I can taste things better than you, that's why I can tell it sucks ass.

Jesus Veeky Forums please stop

>reverse google
>links to huffington post

I never huffington. Besides, isnt the owner of huffington an ex CIA guy who had 70% of his investment money donated by the government?

Because that is a thing y'know.

Because people are all fucking idiots who just want shit that gets shared easily on Instagram and
Snapchat and all that other normie bullshit. \ck\ infographics aren't any better, they're probably worse in a lot of way.

Holy shit you must coast through life with your nimble mental acrobatics. That's not how the gene works you mong.

It's not a reverse google search if you're searching for words you fucking retard. Also, there are articles by the New York Times, NPR, and Fox News saying the same shit.

>calling coriander 'cilantro'

Do you live in the neighborhood adjacent to Edward scissor hands abode?

I hope you know coriander is cilantro seed.

>Coriander (UK /ˌkɒrJˈændə/;[1] US /ˈkɔːriˌændər/ or /ˌkɔːriˈændər/;[2] Coriandrum sativum), also known as cilantro (/sJˈlɑːntroʊ/)[3] or Chinese parsley, is an annual herb in the family Apiaceae. All parts of the plant are edible, but the fresh leaves and the dried seeds are the parts most traditionally used in cooking.

>All parts of the plant are edible
I wonder how coriander root tastes.

Not only is your situation uncommon, the situation is much worse for most. TV dinners, constant fast food, constant exposure and consumption of high fat/high sugar/overprocessed garbage that is "cheap" and accessible.

Whenever I get sad though, I try to appreciate that at least I've opened my eyes to eating better and more culturally, instead of remaining as a fast-food/chain eating sheep. Then I try and educate friends by letting them sample my cooking and showing how easy it can be. My roommate said he bought a slow cooker and he cooks more often because of me. Good feel man.

Se llama cilantro porque haci es Como lo dice mi cultural puta.

>spicy chicken bacon cheesy barbecue mozzarella sticks
I swear every single recipe is some weird ass combination of foods that don't mix

Like said
>calling coriander 'cilantro'

Is your mother Marie and does she have a YouTube channel about cooking?

*plop!*

I just googled it and there are a bunch of recipes... Thanks for piquing my interest

The realest feelest. I cook and bake like crazy whenever I visit home, my parents have a stocked kitchen and will buy me ingredients but just... don't care for cooking, apparently

>Adding cheese to seafood

Tuna melt sandwiches though.

>breaking spaghetti in half for "even cooking"
>cooking cold meat straight from the fridge
>pre ground black pepper
>not mixing sauce with pasta in the pot/pan
>margarine
>throwing food in before the pan is hot
>boiling lasagne sheets
>when people make pizza at home and put the cheese over the rest of the toppings

Tuna pasta bake

Brie and lobster

Mussels and blue cheese

Jesus fuck that guy needs to just go.

I've never seen someone boil a lasagna sheet, but I'd probably REEEE if I did.

Adding cheese to soup is disgusting, while adding it to fist is great. Fuck you smoking?

post the best ck infographs ya got

Wait, I thought that's what you're supposed to do. I... I guess you let it cook in fat/steam in the oven when the lasagna is assembled?

>durr I dun have tastebuds, time to be racist xD

Kill yourself immediately.

so you chose to eat a hamburger that had such a large variety of meat it upset you?

>"I like my steaks well done."

I've only seen it in America and UK to be honest, it just makes no sense to boil the sheets because it ruins the whole dish, if you let the lasagna sheets cook in the oven all the pasta soaks up the sauce and the starch helps it hold together. I guess you do need a little more sauce but the end result is 10x times better.

Lasagna with pre-cooked pasta is so much better faggott

Yeah that's a pretty stupid word, but how else would you describe the taste of msg?

Yummy.

Medium rare is the way to go. But they always fuck that up.

Lel. can imagine some faggots describing the taste of something as 'umami'.

I cook Rare at home and go Medium Rare at restaurants, though I only order steak from real restaurants so that's a rarity.

I don't have to imagine it, your dad says it whenever he gets done sucking me off.

>complaining about the term umami

Sure is flyover circa 1993 here.

I'll take what is French onion for $500 Alex.

>tfw Americlap
>tfw living in a state that isn't a flyover or Florida
>tfw the rest of the world lumps you in with all the degenerates from the irrelevant parts of your country

Feels bad man.

>a hamburger can have too much meat
What the fuck am I even reading? Why don't you just kill yourself you fucking heathen?

>seasoning meat with anything other than salt.

I season meat with salt every night. By meat I mean "your mom" and by salt I mean "my semen".

That's cool. Nice to know there's somebody willing to give her some even in her late 60s.

You know what they say man, the older the cherry the sweeter the juice.

>he eats both sides of the meat

Stop putting gravy on everything, everyone else in the UK!

>adding excessive amounts of cheese and bacon to dishes where they don't belong for the sake of being over-the-top and pandering to EpicMealTime-esque shitters
>retarded meme "pizzas" from pizza chains like "buffalo chicken pizza" or "fettucini alfredo pizza" bought by potheads with severe brain damage

>oil splash onto shirt
>stains it like polka dots
>can never wear the shirt outside anymore

>picky eaters
>home cooks who think they know better than people who've worked in the industry
>people who start threads like this
>anyone who buys into a fad diet
>people from isolated countries who can't understand that there's both variety and quality in first world countries
>picky eaters
>people who insist on being in the kitchen when they obviously don't know what they're doing because it's "their thing"
>people addicted to sugar
>people who say that other people only pretend to like a massively popular food just to fit in
>people who aren't willing to try anything twice
>children
>people who like burnt eggs
>people who use hot sauce as a crutch
>people who think hot sauce is only used as a crutch
>people who buy knife sets and don't learn how to take care of them
>people who pretend they have allergies as an excuse not to eat something like bread
>people who spout bullshit about the benefits of not eating meat, or any other food item that's responsible for the survival of our species, without any real understanding of what they're talking about
>picky eaters who convince themselves that they're going to throw up after trying a bite of something as mundane as a raw tomato
>Veeky Forums fags who read the sticky and then come here every day and ask how to make the most bland food in the world palatable to eat every day

What?

Too weak to handle pepper?

Go back to Scandinavia, tasteless pussy.

>setting food on counter to thaw all day
>microwaving on high to thaw
>cooking food 50degrees over the recommended temperature in oven
>complains the meat never turns out good

>women saying that putting premade shit in the oven is "cooking"

The blacker the berry...

You should add to your list:
>people who think meat is an essential ingredient to every part of every meal

pretty much this but also
>people who get butthurt about vegans/vegetarians
if they aren't jamming their beliefs down your throat you absolutely do not have to engage them about the benefits of eating meat.
also the "survival of our species" thing is bullshit, but other than that this guy is pretty spot on.

I'm going to take a wild guess and say you're in an open relationship, have tattoos, facial piercings, a receding hairline, and a veganism blog.

No
but it's common knowledge that meat is often used as a crutch in cooking

if I'm not making a nice steak or something, I'm gonna cook meat right from the fridge, I don't want it sitting out and if I am just making like japanese curry I'm not gonna care how perfect the meat is.

I don't know, I really have enjoyed meme pizza toppings unironically. It's not kale's fault that yuppies discovered baking it until crispy makes it delicious.

It is similar to a potato chip flavored with what tastes like pure chlorophyll. I just like it.

>geuinely, unironically having hurt fee fees about how eurofags perceive you

These are the people that use 'flyover' as an insult.

>people who think meat is an essential ingredient to every part of every meal

I love meat and only really have a problem with militant vegans who don't know what they're talking about, but I completely agree with this as well. There's absolutely no reason to have to have a chunk of meat at every meal.

Conversely, I do get annoyed by veggie people who think they eat a more varied diet than omnivores. I eat everything you do, but also eat all sorts of meats in addition to everything you enjoy.

Not that guy, but I do have a healthy love of Indian food. I can accidentally go for weeks without eating meat if nobody else cooks.

Meat is delicious, but people who act like it's actually necessary tend to be the wrong kind of Americans.

There is nothing wrong with only seasoning one side of meat

When you paint a wall you only paint one side
When you draw a picture you only draw on one side of the paper
When you design a shirt you only put the graphics on one side
When you wipe your skin you don't rip your skin off and fucking rub the sponge on the other side

The other side of the meat doesn't matter. You are ONLY eating from one side of the fucking meat and the seasoning seeps through the whole way anyway so taste isn't effected. In fact seasoning both sides causes them to dry out the meat because it needs unseasoned meat to store its moisture. (look at some with dry skin and you'll notice they are pale because they have in essence been 'seasoned')

The "the survival of the species" thing is less about making an argument against going vegetarian, for example, and more about people all of a sudden claiming that bread is bad for you. If you want to go gluten free and it actually improves your health, so be it. But don't start making blanket statements about bread being unhealthy.

>red wine to fish
Matelote says hi.

youtube.com/watch?v=Q84nfWkLsYU#t=0m23s

How high are you?

But he's right. Do you have a tongue on the roof of your mouth?

Not really. Do you chew meat with your incisors?

>breaking spaghetti in half for "even cooking"

I do this. I have a small pot.

Yes.

People who buy chef's knives that cost several hundered dollars/euros/whatever and:
1. Don't know how to take care of them properly
2. Have terrible knife skills
3. Don't cook for themselves often, but when they do, they cook incredibly simple things that necessitate under 10 knife strokes.

But at the same time it's their money so who gives a damn

I guess you're one of those people who that guy was talking about.

Can someone explain why margarine is bad, I'vs heard people bashing it before.
Seems like a good substitute for lactose intolerant individuals.

I never got why people knock it so much as well. But, i have always thought that those people assume that everyone who uses margarine uses it to replace butter, which isn't always true. Margarine certainly has its place in baking, and as you said, its a decent enough substitute if you can't have lactose. But using it in recipes that warrant butter instead for no good reason is fucking sacrilege, which I think is what those people are on about

Maybe your parents were more worried about raising and providing for you than impressing you with food. Holy shit man, kys, but make sure you apologize to your parents for being a shi son first

>People who think being from a foreign country means they can automatically cook that country's cuisine like experts.
>People who think "family" recipes they learned as a child are infallible.
>People who add condiments to food before trying it.

>>People who add condiments to food before trying it.

there's lots of contexts in which red wine or cheese go with fish

kill yourself

name a couple.

red wines with softer tannin and lower iron content can go with almost any fish dish

there are many roasted fish dishes or fish dishes involving tomato or mushroom or sulphurous reduction based sauces that go extremely well with even heavier reds. this is especially true with oily fishes like mackerel, sardines, salmon.

there are many fish dishes that directly incorporate red wine as a poaching liquor or sauce base

as far as fish and cheese goes caesar salad is an obvious one, anchovies and well aged cheeses actually is a very common combination even within italy. salmon and cream cheese is ubiquitous. white fish 'viennoise' is a common preparation involving cheese and fish and even tomato.

both red wine and cheese are things that have a tremendous range in terms of flavour and texture. obviously not every cheese is gonna go with every fish but you're paying too much attention to your nonna if you say they never should meet

I use margarine instead of butter because it is the cheap thing to do.

That is the only reason

Butter is expensive compared to margarine

>complaining about a burger you ordered.

I need some examples for the last one

Like if someone is giving me a chili dog I will always try to add mustard. I don't care how god based your chili is.

The opposite is for french fries. If you put ANYTHING on it other than salt I won't eat them. And I only use sea salt