Help me Veeky Forums
I have chicken thighs, broccoli, rice, a red pepper, some cheese, and half a thing of ranch dressing. My father in law is coming over for dinner in about 45 mins and I don't have time to go shopping.
What the fuck do I cook him? Hes a mean old bastard and judges me all the time. I want to make something snappy.
Tell him he's a fag and his daughter can't cook it's his fault.
Or I guess it's 2016, are you both guys?
A fuckin' stir fry and rice. It's going to be boring as shit if that's literally all you have though.
Sear chicken thighs, cover in Ranch, bake in a 350F oven.
Cook rice, stir in the cheese with some black pepper when it's done.
Saute broccoli and red pepper with olive oil and garlic.
oh man, you're a god. that sounds delicious as fuck and not at all what i would usually cook.
That's a good answer.
Don't fuck it up. We're watching you
Just be sure to post pics of the final product.
Just order in a pizza and stop caring what he thinks
COOKING
I've found a few more things; soy sauce, a lemon, salt. Seared the chicken, covered in soy, lemon juice, salt, pepper, bit of ranch. In the oven now. Doing the rice in a mo.
I'll report back with his reaction. Doubt he'll like it, bastard hates me!!
thanks guys
>covered in soy, lemon juice, salt, pepper, bit of ranch
Ya dun goofed, OP. Ranch is pretty much a standalone ingredient; why on earth would you combine it with soy and then add even more extra salt?
He hates you because you're a stupid little shit.
I.. I don't know.
I added cheese.. what have I done...?
No going back at this point. Maybe you should listen to that other user and just order delivery...
Top kek. You fucked up. I would have cooked the chicken with lemon and ranch, a bit of soy in the rice and served with diced pepper, and broccoli on the side. No need for cheese.
Oh god, this looks fucking horrific... here we go boys, bringing him some ale to wash it down.
Youre not tricking me freindo. This is a ruse.
Stop trying to make me think this dish was a genuine effort.
The fuck did you do?
Not a ruse. I'm Indian, my family is a few caste under my partners and my father in law comes round for dinner all the fucking time. Lets me know last minute every time and I'm scrambling to cook something (I work nights and never have anything decent to cook, can barely feed myself).
Its not that bad, trust me.
>father in law
Is this a reverse wife's son meme thread?
I think you're better off telling him to go fuck himself and that his daughter is a massive slut in the bedroom, than serving him that.
We're gonna need a lot of hot sauce.
This sounds like a good plan.
trips of truth
My advise is to not let him in the house. Do not try to please this asshole. Hide behind the door and pretend like you're not home anymore.
>tfw you tell op exactly what to do
>it's simple and completely doable in 45 minutes
>he calls you a god
>then he proceeds to ignore everything you said and make a plate of bachelor slop
Seems pretty obvious at this point that OP was just fucking around with the being married thing and making a plate of food for himself.
Probably right, he has gone now. He literally came over, ate, then left.
Feel pretty bad desu.
Yep I fucked it up, but honestly I usually cook potatos, boiled veg and chicken every day, wanted to try and make something decent and failed. Ah well.
Fuck being Indian dude, this happens like 2x a month, he just randomly turns up or rings me on his way from work or smthing. I did hide and not answer one time but my car is outside the house so what can I do..
How can you live on chicken, potatoes and vegetables served the same way? Doesn't that get boring as fuck?
I eat boiled potatos, chicken and boiled veg 2x a day (once at around 4.00pm, then again around 3.00am) and a bowl of porridge when I get in from work (9.00am). Yes. It is boring as fuck.
>He literally came over, ate, then left.
>Indian father in law
if he didn't say anything then you succeeded. those bastards aren't shy about giving their relatives shit
Order pizza.
literally
No he did give me shit. He voiced that he hated my food and my messy flat. Indian bro? fck my life, seriously
Indian? Learn to assimilate, man. That caste shit don't fly over here.
Tell him to fuck right off next time. He can't just swing by last minute and make you cook for him like some kind of dancing monkey. And if you do cook for him and he doesn't like it, too fucking bad for him. We got manners here, you don't tell your host their food is shit. What the fuck is wrong with Indian people? (Outside of designated shitting streets, of course).