My little ones love cookies and I love to make them. The problem is that I prepare things to bake a day in advance in our communal oven, and in the meantime I leave them in the fridge. They like to sneak off raw cookie dough and I don't want them getting salmonella.
Is there something that will add a bitter taste to the raw dough, but lose its bitterness when it's baked?
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Have you tried grounding them when they eat the raw cookie dough?
A cup of playdough should do the trick
It's fine to eat it, ya weirdo
It's really sad that people these days don't know how to parent their children
One in 20,000 eggs has a risk of salmonella, which is about a 1% risk. You'd probably be more at risk from uncooked salad greens than raw eggs.
Get a fridge lock.
That's actually a .005% risk
1% risk would be 1 in 100 eggs
>One weakling dies of e.coli from store-bought chocolate chip cookie dough
Even the retard from Vice calls it an anomaly. Are you even trying
No trolling, but make them eggless (essentially vegan) instead if you're worried about salmonella.
Then, all you need to worry about is the dangers associated with eating raw flour. Hurray.
I've told them I won't make cookies if they eat the dough. They ate the dough. I haven't made cookies in a long time.
I'm looking for another solution.
Maybe something less extreme? I don't want them to go hungry when I'm not there.
That wouldn't remove the risk.
Threaten to ground them this time.
Beat the shit out of them pussy
Cyanide.
Jesus Christ OP, your children are degenerate fat cunts.
Tell them you'll trade them for a dog, at least that fucker might listen when you tell him to not eat cookie dough.
Either that, or make cookie dough that tastes like shit. Put tartar sauce in the dough, the taste will come out after you bake it.
what's wrong with parents these days holy fucking shit, discipline your puppers
Japs eat raw eggs err day.
that being said you could
1) do some parenting
2) do the baking sooner
3) stop being a vagina and let your kids eat cookie dough
I retract this post after seeing
This post
Poisoning your children with exlax cookie dough would make them fear raw cookie dough for the rest of their lives.
You would almost be like Satan, giving your children the opportunity to make the right choice but punishing them for the desirable one
How wouldn't it remove the risk? OP said
>hurr durr i'm wurrrrrd 'bout salaminelly
That comes from eggs. Take out the eggs, take out the risk OP was concerned about. Done and done.
But now that I know what I know, I'm certain this thread is a ruse, so you and your nonexistent kids can go suck a shit.
>implying this wasn't a troll thread all along
Reset the timer lock as necessary. you're welcome
stop feeding them garbage.
every parenting advise thread it's the same fuckin' thing with you retards.
>One in 20,000 eggs has a risk of salmonella, which is about a 1% risk
what the actual fuck
If my parents had locked my shit in one of those, I'd find a way to break it open because fuck you Mom.
shit man just set out a bowl of cookie dough with ipecac syrup mixed in. see if the disrespectful little shits are gonna dip their hands in the cookie dough any more.
>You would almost be like Satan, giving your children the opportunity to make the right choice but punishing them for the desirable one
That wasn't Satan, user. That was God.
>Is there something that will add a bitter taste to the raw dough, but lose its bitterness when it's baked?
Yes.
Beat their asses with a wooden spoon, and stick them in a corner for a couple of hours.
That will make the cookie dough very bitter indeed.
>communal oven,
You kids deserve to die fucking hippie
>One in 20,000 eggs has a risk of salmonella, which is about a 1% risk
American education
> 1/20000 == 1/100
Have you tried beating them? Beating children seems to work very VERY well.
>Dont do that little Timmy
>Fuck you nigger!
>*backhands little Timmy as hard as you can*
>WHAAAA I'LL NEVER DO IT AGAIN!!!!1
Its literally THAT easy.
>One in 20,000 eggs has a risk of salmonella, which is about a 1% risk.
>One in 20,000 is about a 1% risk
>One in 20,000 is 1%
But beating children is wrrrroooooong you meanie! Give your 3 year old a stern lecture on why she/he is wrong and they'll surely understand and learn!
This. You're retarded OP, and you shouldn't have reproduced. Just get used to the fallout of making retard babies.
If you want your child to be like an American, then don't beat them. If you want your child to love and respect you, back hand that little piece of shit into next week, repeatedly until they learn.
He's saying that 1/20000 eggs have the risk of salmonella, and that risk is 1/100 to be serious. Unless he's actually retarded.
Start by putting a bullet directly in-between your two fucking eyes you liberal helicopter parent cuck.
Fuck that, have you spanked or actually disciplined them for it? Remember,
1. Promise punishment for an infraction
2. If they make said infraction, punish then immediately upon discovery, and make sure they know exactly why they're being punished
3. Punish them exactly how you said they would be punished, do not wimp out.
4. If it continues, let them know the punishment is about to get a whole lot worse.
5. If they still continue, make the punishment a hell of a lot worse. Were they being grounded from TV and spanked 3 licks before? Ground them from everything electronic and give them 6 of your hardest licks.
Effective discipline is about doing exactly what you say you'll do, making sure they know where they went wrong, and that there's a permanent mental link between wrongdoing and the punishment.
Fact
If anyone got salmonella from a raw egg, there would be a recall and the company would lose at least a million dollars and probably go under
Sounds like a good way to get whipped with whatever's in sight, have everything taken out of your room but your bed and clothes, and then never see your allowance again, user.
>implying Americans don't actually do this
You know, you're suppose to tell the little rotten crotch fruit what they are doing wrong while you are beating them. Just beating them for no reason is child abuse... aka Murrican.
Its not only Japs who eat raw eggs, most European food especially French and Italian uses Raw eggs.
Salmonella is literally a white middle class mom meme in the U.S.
>Effective discipline is about doing exactly what you say you'll do, making sure they know where they went wrong, and that there's a permanent mental link between wrongdoing and the punishment.
B-but that's mean, user!
My child won't like me if I discipline it and make it dare do anything it doesn't want to do, when it wants to do it....
>I've told them I won't make cookies if they eat the dough. They ate the dough. I haven't made cookies in a long time.
Freeze the dough logs. Thaw them overnight or slice after a quick 45 minutes on the counter. Double rolls them, double ziploc wrap, make it such an inconvenience to open and get to it, that no one eats it. Not sure where you live and if price is an object but you can also buy pasteurized eggs in the eggshell (something to buy for salad dressings like a homemade caesar or mayo). I've used them for the unbaked version of key lime pie. I have no idea if Eggbeaters would work in cookie dough but it's pastuerized too.
As another person said, you could take out the eggs. Try making shortbread, or homemade cracker dough for like cheddar wafers.
just beat the little fat faggots. they can't steal the cookie dough if they can't open the fridge door with broken arms.
Beat the shit out of them if they do something you told them not to do.
Your post has a 100% risk of making me retarded
What kind of a man doesn't beat his children? Just hit them a few times and they'll get the message, and as long as you don't leave any marks or any shit like that, you're fucking gold bro
ITT: We learn that OP is a pussy shit parent
It's called discipline, something you seem to lack so quit reproducing. Let nature take its course, if the little faggots insist on eating raw shit after you've told them not to then it's time to let Darwinism to determine their future. Go get your tube tied you useless fucking cunt quit queefing out these abominations.
It's called Bitrex!
>I've told them I won't make cookies if they eat the dough. They ate the dough.
I think you already found your solution then. You don't make cookies.
make fake shitty tasting dough , put it on top separated by plastic wrap.
i hear murder-suicide works wonders
>My little ones love cookies and I love to make them. The problem is that I prepare things to bake a day in advance in our communal oven
I don't understand this. Do you live with other families? If so, you have more to worry about than that. Also, maybe don't prepare cookie dough a day in advance? It's not that time consuming to make it the same fucking day.
>Is there something that will add a bitter taste to the raw dough, but lose its bitterness when it's baked?
Yes. Use gluten free flour, especially if it contains chickpea flour. I love raw cookie dough, and have eaten it since I was a kid, but dear gods raw gluten free cookie dough is the most disgustingly bitter thing I have ever tasted. The bitterness goes away once baked (as I recall, baking powder also neutralizes the bitterness when baked).
if they like the dough so much why even bother making cookies?
How hard is it to just bake all the dough then freeze the surplus cookies. Why not spank the little shit.
I remember when I was being a little shit, and I ate all the whipped cream in the fridge one time. Mom didn't make a noise about it and when I came back inside I found another bowl just sitting there..
Took one bite and nearly vomited. Mom emptied a can of shaving cream into a bowl and taught me there and then not to fuck around with stuff I wasn't supposed to have.
Cookie dough is the only good thing about cookies, this thread disgusts me. Why can't you let them live a little OP? If they got salmonella then they'd learn, if not then why do you care? So mean OP
Thanks so much! Will do.
My parents just told me not to do it - that was good enough for me
Just let them eat it and get sick and send them to school anyway
>grounding them
why the fuck would modern kids go outside?
enjoi your visit from CPS when they tell their teachers/neighbors
knowingly sending your children to school is illegal with modern domestic terrorism clauses
that's like 1 in 200, you'll be alright
i can't spank him. he's my wife's son.
DUDE that pic though. do you listen to goldenwest?
Part of grounding is taking away their power cables and cell chargers.
No cellphone, no laptop, no TV, whatever. Better yet, ground them from being inside.
>ITT: edgy teenagers without kids give parenting advice
If you're in the US the eggs you're buying at the grocery store are pasteurized. (Unless stated otherwise on the packaging.)
There is really no danger of salmonella.
Who would better know what sucks for kids?
IF THERES EVEN A 1% CHANCE
Wow, you're landed your spaceship right in my backyard, OP. As a busy Mom, I am always worried about my kids getting sick (and don't think their step-Dad doesn't because he does) and I have developed a couple of "hacks" to help you out. I get so busy with my food blog, I had to do something, so here goes:
Wrap the cookie dough in kale. Kids hate kale so they won't touch it.
If they catch on to this, make one batch with Ex-Lax. They'll be shitting so bad, all you'll have to do is wag your finger and say I told you so.
And last, I just tell them that dough is for your real Daddy so please don't touch (my ex was verbally, physically and sexually abusive) and they treat the cookie dough like radioactive waste.
These "hacks" worked for me and I'm sure they'll work for you. As for me, that food blog isn't getting updated by itself, so gotta go!
What is learning how to talk with your kids, and explaining to them the horrors you're trying to stop them from experiencing, so they learn how to become adults and make rational decisions about their future and those around them?
that's easy, just show your kid gore pictures of ravaging dieseases and tell them this is what happens if they continue eating uncooked cookie dough
>imagine their mfw moments after 5 more years
Have you considered just poisoning a batch of dough, and when they're dead you won't need to worry about them stealing it.
just make an eggless recipe
A friend of mine is a kindergarten teacher at a nutjob Christian school.
There are 50 students to a classroom, but the class is looked after by two teachers and an aid.
On her first day of teaching, her new partner teacher sat all the kids down in a circle and told them that Jesus is inside all of them then asked for the kids to "show me your Jesus!" and they all smile happily.
Sooner or later, one kid will inevitably hit or steal from some other kid. This is where it gets twisted. My friend's teaching partner grabs the offending kid and, in front of the whole class, asks him/her what s/he did and why it was wrong.
>i hit billy and it's wrong because hitting hurts
"No you didn't. Remember what I told you the first day? Jesus is inside each and every one of you, and that means inside Billy, too. You hit Jesus and you're going to hell."
Of course, the waterworks come on at that point and the other kids are nearly as traumatised as the offending child, but they might not hit one another anymore.
I suspect that in ten years we'll have a slew of new psychopaths to worry about.
Stop being a paranoid helicopter and let them enjoy their cookie dough. For fucks sake, do you leash them when you go outside too?
I like your mom
Poor people in apartment buildings once didn't own ovens. They would have to carry their dough down to the local bakery and use the oven there. OP wants to sound like a hipster hearkening back to that era.
>liberal helicopter parent cuck
Funny buzzwords, funny post
die soon.
People should worry more about the Flour in Cookie Dough rather than the Raw Egg.
Most raw cookie dough producers pasteurize the eggs now.
However, not all raw cookie dough producers Heat Treat their Flour and Flour is also an Organic Material you know.
So it is Flour you should worry about more than Raw Eggs.
