Webm thread

i bet it smells horrible

inb4 a fucking tidal wave of ja/ck/ webms

keķ

Your reverse psychology worked.

Wifey material

fuck off forever thanks a bunch

Newfag question

Is jack threads allowed or what? used to see em months ago but somehow they disappeared

This is a webm of an American recipe called "mayonnaise cake".

>Giant scoops of mayo

How is he alive?

To be so fat and retarded he actually has nice hands.

Why the fuck is American mayonnaise always white? How much do you have to fuck up mixing egg yolks, mustard and oil to get it white?

>youtube.com/watch?v=e_9pM-G6GyA

Can't post the webm right now. Does anyone know what "roasted pepper juice" is though?

I know, right? It's not like mayo in Euro... of wait, that's white too.

Maybe Japan is different, they like mayo there - nope, kewpie is white as fuck. Maybe Brazil and those other S. American countries that slather mayo on every are doing it correctly... nope, white as lightning. I had to google it, but even upside down aussie mayo is white.

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What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I've passed YouTube internet marketing classes, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Aunt Myrna's recipe drawer, and out of ALL of my viewers, I've racked up less than 300 confirmed kills from salmonella poisoning. I am trained in the Lazy Man culinary arts and I’m the top YouTuber to appear on West Texas Investor's Club. You are nothing to me but just another troll. I will choke you the fuck out with fury the likes of which has never been seen before on God's Green Earth, mark my fucking words. There won't be any principal to come stop me before your nose starts bleeding, hater. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of entrepreneurs and business owners in the Tennessee area and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that chokes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bison burger. Not only am I extensively trained in gimmicky kitchen utensils, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the Made for TV line of avocado peelers and fruit choppers, and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. This is going to be the Six Day War sevenfold. If only you could have known what holy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have stuck out your fucking tongue when you ate lunch today. But you've never taken a big boy bite in your fucking life; instead you decided to write some gay little comment, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit The Best Barbecue Sauce You've Ever Tasted all over you and you will drown in it.

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The pasta is good, I love blue cheese, but it's not a meal until there's meat.

You don't always need meat.

Yes you do. Stop being a faggot.

Can anyone find the video this one is actually from? Real fucking interested.

Enjoy

youtube.com/watch?v=Qf_W7As6xbk

No, you really do. Otherwise its just a snack. Not a meal.
>inb4 veggie

lol

Wrong. Please learn about cooking before posting such shit

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brings me back to the bleachers at Wrigley! what a classic!

Eating meat every day at every meal is pretty bad for you. Google saturated fat

Don't believe everything you read online.

Nah, it's fine. You can eat tons of meat.

my optimism prays that's some sort of rare steak burger, and not a regular burger.

Commercially manufactured mayonnaise uses whole eggs and adds water (it's the second largest ingredient in Hellmann's, for example), which makes it a lot lighter in colour.

Kewpie is a little more yellow than most other brands because it only uses yolks.

I think that might have been his bison burger.

I think that might have been his bison burger.

That was just like one heaping tablespoon.

What do Jackfags get out of ruining these threads? Are they being paid?

but why

masala dosa~

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yeah your thread that was gonna reach the bump limit is sooooo ruined because someone contributed to it :(

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not this shit again

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white people need to stay away from indian food

>why would he flip it instead of just flipping the pan over the plat-
>360noscopeflipandunfold
Damn.

i just realized when he flipped the omelette onto the plate at the end, it unrolled perfectly. that's awesome.

cute kitty

He was doing alright until the fucking mayo.
Why every food he touchs turn into shit? That man has like a Midas' touch, but instead of gold, it's shit.

God damn that is fucking impressive

Meh, these threads suck because people who don't know much about cooking post things like this or just try too hard to find people to make fun of.

Mayo is basically what? Egg, water, oil, some vinegar. All stuff you would normally add to a cake anyway. Some people add vinegar to activate the baking soda, or if they're using milk and want the slight sour taste that buttermilk would've provided.

Most cake recipes use the same amount of fat in butter or oil too.

Does Jack suck at cooking? For the most part, yeah. He eats undercooked chicken and makes plenty of other abominations that you shouldn't eat. But there really isn't anything wrong with his cake.

WHAT

> there really isn't anything wrong with [this] cake.

>Mayo is basically what? Egg, water, oil, some vinegar. All stuff you would normally add to a cake anyway. Some people add vinegar to activate the baking soda, or if they're using milk and want the slight sour taste that buttermilk would've provided.
And there's a historical context to using mayo as well. It was during war time rationing that some alternatives to use of egg-requiring recipes came about in america. People made all kinds of eggless versions of foods, as well as subs for sugar (beets) and eggs (mayo). The beet sugar sub led to Red Velvet cake. Bacon grease could be meticulously saved for butter and oil needs. People even went a step further and started using fake butter which took its stronghold during this time. Dairy was rationed too. Oleo came with a little yellow packet to make it look yellow once mixed in to complete the fakeout. (My older relatives talked about how they had avocado on morning toast instead.)
the1940sexperiment.com/100-wartime-recipes/

Of course, the rationing was far more severe in the UK.
bbc.co.uk/history/ww2peopleswar/stories/64/a4439964.shtml
recipespastandpresent.org.uk/wartime/

there isnt. presentation and finish sucks, but thats the jack touch. otherwise its fine.

OP consider suicide please you are raping food

Yeah and an omelette is nothing but egg and butter so putting a mashed up omelette in a cake is fine too. Dumbass

If you didn't cook the omelette, sure.

You can obviously tell why a cooked omelette wouldn't work compared to mayo, you're being selectively obtuse. Don't choose to be retarded user, that's retarded.

you are literally retarded real mayo is yellow

even he looks disappointed lmao
also why the fuck can he not even stir correctly

Oh my god...

He butchered that. If my mum ever saw that she will never stop talking about it.

Ok ok I mean I've seen people make asian style omelettes before but that was fuckin impressive
not only the flip but after he was done "scramling" it that wipe with the chopsticks around the rim made it perfectly shaped
still tho, idk how them asians eat their omelettes so damn raw

No you're the retard. I disproved your argument by counterexample, and your response is "don't be a retard". Guess how I know you're uneducated

Nigger, you didn't disprove shit. He's right that cakes need raw eggs as an ingredient, and mayonnaise cake is a well-established recipe. Scrambled eggs are cooked, so the proteins in the egg have already denatured and can't do their job in a cake batter. Learn to cook if you're going to hang about on Veeky Forums talking shit.

His argument was that the suitability of an item to be used in a cake depends entirely on the ingredients of the item. Via a degenerate example I proved his claim wrong. Also don't say "nigger", you're not black.

Putting words in his mouth there. He just said the reason mayonnaise works in cake batter is because they share ingredients. He didn't say that it 'depends entirely on the ingredients', or more pertinantly, that it doesn't matter what state those ingredients are in. That's the spin you've put on it to justify making retarded statements about scrambled eggs.

Omelettes and cakes share ingredients too, by his claim they can be used in cakes

Shame I don't have the video wizardry to make this actually loop.

do you season with cake crumbs hot hot hot

Of everything jack has cooked on his channel, what's the actual best thing he has ever done? (in relation to most of his garbage)

I made that for my dogs yesterday.

mods have been on a deleting spree for jack shit recently

At least she would be talking about something interesting for a change, cuck

that burger.webm would be okay if he grilled the patties for couple minutes longer

And real mayo is yellow in America too.

The other user was incorrectly trying to say that store-bought mayo is only white in America.

>reading comprehension

>there really isn't anything wrong with his cake

I love how it sticks to the garlic

It followed the recipe of it's era pretty well, so in scale of Jack, there really isn't anything wrong with it.

You're a moron.

>inb4 I was trolling all along

No, you just aren't operating on a high enough mental level to understand my genius

Source: youtube.com/watch?v=sd90XCvpO1k

>call someone a dumbass
>you're uneducated because you called me a retard
Retard

I wasnt particularly impressed until he flipped it into the plate, I dont even want to know how many eggs he went through until he perfected that

That domino tile "backsplash" and the sign that says "public displays of confection."

I'm lovin it.

ugh i can smell this webm and it's not pleasant

its funny how those claw things should work well (though unnecessary) for pulled pork but since jack cant cook, its not working right.

>fricken dont know how to make bechamel sauce, so instead they just melt some blue cheese. Blue cheese with pasta.

Seriously, why are americans such philistines.

do white people just have no shame?

>white people

this was at some hispanic place

Americans don't like blue cheese. they think it's icky.

Unless you're talking about that sauce they put on wings that sorta maybe resembles blue cheese if you squint your eyes just right. They love that.

Anyway, as for blue cheese with pasta? Ask Gordon Ramsay. He has a pretty awesome recipe for that.