My co workers keep eating my snacks and i tell them please don't eat my snacks my wife will kill me and they laugh and...

my co workers keep eating my snacks and i tell them please don't eat my snacks my wife will kill me and they laugh and keep eating my snacks they say it's not a big deal because it's starburst but my wife gets mad when she finds out my co workers are eating the sancks she buys me. how do i tell my co workers to not eat my snacks so my wife will not get mad. i don't care about the snacks i just dont want my wife to get mad.

a. Keep the snacks stored some place your co-workers can't find it or they won't look. Like in your desk.

Or

b. Don't tell your "wife" about it

Tell your wife to shut the fuck up about the god damn starbursts she's your wife not your mom.

beat them up. I know you can do it

Bring snacks one day with your semen in it, then they will eat them and become homo

but she buys them for me to take to work she tells me i have to eat them

she asks me if i ate all my starbursts and i don't like lying to her so i tell her my co workers ate them and she gets mad at me. i will try the desk trick i used to keep them next to the microwave and coffee machine

Politely ask your wife's son to beat them up

we don't have any kids

shit. is this the brats' night out?

Are your coworkers getting inexplicably ill? The sort of illness that could potentially kill them if they were getting it in larger doses?

Drag your balls across it while your coworkers watch.

Granted, this means you'll have to ask your wife to get them out of her purse.

i don't think so but greg took a sick day last week

>keep them next to the microwave and coffee machine

I know this thread is bait but nobody who has ever worked in an office thinks random food left near shit other employees are going to use all the time is anything but everyone's. Shit, basically any food people left on the table in my old break room was fair game, either people who put it there didn't want it or they wanted to give it out to everyone else. Seriously, this is what working in an office is like. If you enjoy working with other people, you share food with them. Again, I know the post is bait but OP's story has him leaving candy for coworkers to snack on when taking a break.

well there isn't any other place to put them since it's out of place in the fridge since its candy and the cupboards are all used for peoples cups and their bowls

I dont know what office you work in, but mine is cut throat

Does your desk lack drawers? Someone else recommended that. Also, food left in the cupboards tends to be left alone in my experience. Depends on the people you work with.

I worked at a company that did e-learning for natural gas pipeline workers. A bunch of nice older women and guys worked there. Like 20 employees maybe.

I know this is a bait threaad and that you're just baiting me but in reply to your bait I think that you should ask your wife to buy you a different candy, do you even like starburbs?

Ask her to buy you chicken wings instead

i will use my desk i just dont want my snakcs getting mixed up with my work things

>working in cubicle office doing software stuff
>eccentric old guy with a ponytail and a standing desk comes running into my cubicle like Kramer and excitedly proclaims "There's cake and icecream in the break room!" then runs out

Yeah, it's no good to mix your work things with your snacks. Try putting them in a condom and storing them up your ass. Then you can put your snacks in the drawer without any trouble.

What if you put your Starbucks in your pocket protector.

they get too hot in my pockets so i will try the desk

Just bring some gabagool instead.

At my last job, I worked in an office. There was a guy that was convicted for murdering his wife and had recently gotten out of prison.

Nigga kept stealing my lunch.

fill your starbursts with laxatives

they'll get the hint soon enough to stop eating your things.

or alternatively, file a complaint with HR

You are wrong. I know it doesn't seem logical but the only explination for man children levels of this magnitude is that op married his futa mother.

Eat them before you get to work

What the fuck is this thread

Why does your wife make you eat Starburst

ask your mom to pack extra for the other kids

capicolla ham isnt the best snack

That defeats the purpose of a snack

she puts his meds in his starbursts

My office has the opposite problem

People don't even eat their own food so the fridge just fills up

you eat them then

keep them in your pocket

because she will get mad if he doesnt

The mad wife.