/lit triumphantly threw his backpack down and sat in his usual, favorite seat in the library. "Yes! once again I'm the only one here on a Saturday morning. The neandrathols must have slept in after a night of barbaric hedonism" /Lit took out his brand new Kindle and admired his smile in its reflection. "only 6 of 8 gigs used. I need to step it up, lol! Let's see what my friends over at Reddit and Goodreads have to recommend for this summer's reading list." As /Lit was adjusting his Fedora and loggin into his Goodreads account, he heard that dreadful sound that he ever so detested. "Hehehe, stop it!" "Come here baby. Let me see that ass." /Fit sauntered in, head held triumphantly in the air, with one arm around what appeared to be a new girl. "Ohh great," thought /Lit. "They always make so much noise.. All the laughing and having a good time. Don't they know a genius is trying to get some work done here?" The smell of sex filled the air as /Fit and his new girl walked by, though /Lit could not identify it as such, being a 24 year old virgin himself. To be continued....
Hey /lit, now that summer is rapidly approaching, how does it feel knowing that we over at /Fit are soon to be at the beach, girls in hand, whilst you all are on here arguing about which book is hardest and thus most desirable to read?
Caleb Brown
>Implying I leave the house
Robert Bailey
>neandrathols your post is hard to read but it didn't make it desirable to do so. i suppose not being able to read has stopped you forming the realisation Veeky Forums is gay and will be sucking cock in a cottage this summer, but i thought the pictures would have made even an illiterate cop on to it.
Cooper Scott
*tips fedora*
Jaxson Cruz
Why would Veeky Forums and a cute girl be in the library on a Saturday morning? This reads like a very poor parody by someone who doesn't browse here very much.
Blake Carter
kek as if your shitty board isn't filled with fat fucks thinking that they can lift and are attractive.
Austin Watson
You and I both know Veeky Forums would be fucking a Greek statue.
Nicholas Davis
10/10
Jaxon Hill
It seems like you don't browse either boards.
Veeky Forums would probably say "y-you to" if a girl said anything to em
Elijah Adams
YOU'RE FUCKING A WHITE MALE
Parker Rogers
Quite fine. Opium and poetry > sex.
Liam Moore
>Veeky Forums >with a grill
Jayden Hughes
desu lads
Tyler Robinson
Part Two: "hehe stop it! Not here someone will see!" "shhhhh you mean that dork over there? He's too busy with his math homework to notice" /Lit was fuming at this point. "Physics is not math. It uses math but it is not math! It is the study of the laws of the universe. Of cause and effect. (Sigh). Not that these two idiots would understand. They probably don't even browse /lit." Meanwhile /Fit and his girlfriend were in a passionate embrace, seemingly oblivious to the fact that they were in a public place. Not that it mattered. They were the Alpha male and female. They could do what they wanted to do without fear of reproach. "Damnit! Not again! Another Saturday ruined. It was just me and Newton and he was teaching me his secrets but these two just had to come and ruin it. If I was not such an enlightened being I would ask God what I had done to anger him." /Lit loudly cleared his throat as if to announce his disapproval, but /Fit and his girl did not notice the invisible ghost glaring at them. /Lit angrily grabbed his backpack and began his march of defeat out of what he had thought was his sanctuary. To be continued....
Hey /Lit. It's me again. I am not against books or anything. It's just that if you guys would only lift weights and experience that surge of endorphins you would come to the realization that it is time to put down the book (you don't understand it anyway), put your Fedora away, and get your ass to the gym. You might even see a girl or two.
Ayden Ortiz
>not reading on the beach under the sunshine >not having a Veeky Forums husbando to ward off pests while you read in comfy why even be alive
i would stare at Veeky Forums all day if they actually looked like a greek statue, face included.
Justin Cooper
8/10, but you focused too much on the content and not the presentation. The neanderthal misspelling was a good one, but that's pretty much it.
Adam Gomez
>/Lit was fuming
Britbong detected.
Don't you have anything better to be doing on a sunny Thursday afternoon m8?
This tryhard shit is lame.
William Parker
>Britbong detected. Is fuming a British phrase?
Andrew Adams
>only lift weights and experience that surge of endorphins
no thanks I prefer heroin
Easton Perez
>This tryhard shit is lame. That's only because you didn't understand it. You need to read the background OP was influenced by- then you'll be able to fully comprehend where he was coming from. I suggest Thucydides, Hegel and Infinite Jest as a good starting point.
Nathan Peterson
...
Levi Foster
sauce pls
Hudson Diaz
Ho-hum.
Wyatt Lewis
Well it's not an American one is it lad?
Ryan Brown
I wouldn't know.
Where the shitdicks *did* this ladposting come from, anyway?
Ryder Nelson
Americans use that word, what the fuck are you on about?
Kayden Martinez
fuming is certainly used in america.
diverting from the funposting for a moment, isn't lad predominantly a north england term? i don't hear it much anymore.
Jacob Rivera
The smell of Protein farts filled the air, as Veeky Forums thrust his member into his boyfriend's firm but willing hole once more. He rolled his head back in carnal ecstasy and as if it were returning to where it was always meant to go, he shot a viscous fat load into his boyfriend's anus. He quivered, he moaned and then, when all was said and done he opened his laptop and began a shit posting thread of Veeky Forums.
faggot
Camden Hall
sex is for perverts
Andrew Cook
Yes, it is, although it's also a Londoner term. Probably other parts of Britain too. You definitely hear it here in the SE, at least.
Aaron Johnson
/Lit quickly regretted his decision to leave the library. His home was over half a mile away and he dreaded walking. "Damnit. Mom isn't home so she can't pick me up and the bus doesn't run on Saturdays. There is no way in hell I can walk over half a mile." Breathing heavily from his overexertion, /Lit plopped his backpack on the ground and decided he would lay down for a bit. After all, he broke his personal record (250 steps taken) and deserved some respite. As he gently drifted off to sleep, /Lit could still hear the laughter of /Fit and he girl, echoing in the distance of his imagination. "Damn those two," thought /Lit, as he completed his transformation from consciousness to dreaming. To be continued.
Well /Lit, I see you all have chosen to go ahead and focus on whether or not I am British as opposed to truly reflecting on what I have to say. How does it feel knowing that whilst you strain your eyes and brain trying to understand some badly written book, I will be in some girl's house, listening to her loud moans of ecstasy in my ear?
Ryan Smith
it's ok because sex is for perverts
Ryder Thompson
This actually made me feel pathetic Except I don't have shit taste in entertainment mediums
Vidya>Literature>TV and Films
Nathan Jones
>/Lit could still hear the laughter of /Fit and he girl >he girl
so Veeky Forums is full of fags
Owen Watson
nye's trips
Justin Foster
You know there was a time when Veeky Forums and Veeky Forums were friends. I know this is bait, but those days were a lot more fun.
Justin Green
>not being Veeky Forums and Veeky Forums
Dylan Gomez
Pope's still Catholic. Sounds like shitty masculinist "Stoicism" to me. You know the type -- conservative guys who want so badly to be seen as REAL MEN they cling on to traditional manly archetypes like the Romans, and aggressively auto-fellate themselves about it without actually reading anything.
Liam Diaz
0/10
Gavin Cruz
Enlighten me, /Literary Scholar!
Liam Peterson
>Fit and he girl
Lmao that Freudian slip
Landon Perry
Enlighten me, /Literary Scholar.
Matthew Price
>Veeky Forums >kindle
Elijah Green
>Veeky Forums >people interested in women Choose one.
Jayden Morales
Was this supposed to be like a confederacy of dunces?
Nolan Rogers
>/lit
Gavin Ramirez
this is just bad
Julian Rodriguez
4u
Samuel Rogers
>Kindle >guy in pic is reading paperback I remember when memes were funny and people actually put effort into them
Brayden Morales
Enlighten me, /Literary Scholar!
Gavin Roberts
my girl and I read together after sex
Isaiah Watson
IT'S Veeky Forums YOU FUCKERS
NEWFAGGOTS PLS GO STAY GO
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Christopher Adams
>trolled
Ryan Cook
As /lit drifted even deeper into his peaceful slumber, visions began to arise. Visions of stacks upon stacks of books rising before him. Philosophy books, University physics, Organic Chemistry, The Great books of the Western world 54 book set. All were his. The new book smell emanated from every dimension in this dream world. The potent rays of light bounced off the crisp and perfect Pages and every page turned ever so perfectly, without the need to wet his finger with his tongue. Just as /lit was preparing to delve into some William James, he heard a thump at the chamber entrance. He placed his Pynchon autographed bookmark into the book and shut it, taking long strides to the chamber. "hmm I wonder who it could be. Perhaps even Newton himself?" Precum began to form in /lit's pants as he anticipated his surprise. To be continued...
Hey Veeky Forums glad you are still with me. I just got back from class, where I was flirting with females (those things you read about in your books only.) How does it feel knowing that whilst you are in the library, huddled in your own little corner and reading your advanced mathematics book in an attempt to distract yourself from your failed sexual game, that I am here surrounded by alpha females with my pick of the choosing?
Colton Carter
...
Connor Allen
Veeky Forums is a bully masturbating at his own muscle size and laughing at those who fail at the standards he ignorantly claims to be universal.
In other words, nobody gives a fuck about the chickens you've been eating for an year to get a muscle mass. Laughing at us for that just makes you more pathetic.
John Martin
Veeky Forums arose at sunset and poured himself a shot of gin while he admired his huge stack of second hand paperbacks "i can't believe some people use kidnles" he went on the balcony and drank coffee and watched people for an hour or two thinking about the ineluctable modality of the visible and the differences between static and kinetic art then he went inside and browsed Veeky Forums for 11 hours before going back to sleep
meanwhile Veeky Forums worked out in his room and watched taxi driver
Robert Thompson
>tfw you actually do this
I don't even know if this should make me feel bad or not.
Caleb Martin
>not being both Veeky Forums and Veeky Forums Enjoy your myopic view of the world cunts The renaissance men will leave you behind when the revolution comes
Nolan Foster
But as he opened the door, /lit's smile quickly faded from his visage. "No. This can't be," he thought to himself, or may have even spoke aloud. He couldn't remember His brain was rattling and flailing trying to comprehend what was happening, for it was /Fit himself and yet another girl at his side who were standing at the door. "Hey /lit! rumbled /Fit in his testosterone-filled voice. "You won't be needing this will ya?" as he pointed to /lit's nightstand, which had a lonely condom perched on top, from older times when /lit's mom told him that he should carry one around "just in case that special someone were to show." "Get oooouuuuuuu...." /lit started to squeal, but was quickly cut off by /fit, who casually flung him aside and took his female prize along with him, the smell of sex once again filling the air. "It's that danged smell again. I don't know what it is, but I like it!" thought /lit, as his defeated frame Stooped even lower than his poor posture provided. To be continued.
Aiden Hall
>tfw you actually do this Which one?
Daniel Howard
lmao this post
Jonathan Adams
>he went on the balcony and drank coffee and watched people for an hour or two thinking about the ineluctable modality of the visible and the differences between static and kinetic art >then he went inside and browsed Veeky Forums for 11 hours before going back to sleep
Unfortunately I sometimes have days like this.
Ethan Cox
Enlighten me, /Literary Scholar.
Cameron Ward
Bodybuilding and lifting heavy things is just for fucking toxic masculinity fucks!
Brayden Turner
It fucking is really fucking shitty and problematic t b h.
Ian Ward
Enlighten me, /Literary Scholar.
Xavier Johnson
top kek
Carson Sanchez
Enlighten me, /Literary Scholar
Thomas Hall
Enlighten me, /Literary Scholar.
Jonathan Robinson
ignatius is that you?
Landon Bennett
Who are you writing for?
Cameron Jones
Bumping for moar
Jackson Ward
>not sitting properly on public transportation >public transportation Why don't I live in the 1950s?
Levi Perez
Enlighten me, /Literary Scholar
Logan Wright
You need more content to get hooks, you'll have to do more of your creative writing.
Jack Nguyen
Enlighten me, /Literary Scholar.
Logan Davis
>doesn't put her head in the oven
Not Veeky Forums related.
Benjamin Lewis
/lit tried to make the most of his problematic situation, for though he had read many books on lucid dreaming, he was yet to reach the stage where he could control them……or leave them at will. “Sigh. Well at least I still have my books. Vagina is but a fleeting pleasure, whereas a good read can change one forever.” /lit jammed his ear-plugs into his sensitive sensory organs, perhaps a little bit too hard, perhaps thinking a little too longingly about what was going on in the room adjacent his. Thump! Thump! Bang! Clang! /lit furiously glared towards the door, where /fit and his prize were loudly oblivious to all but their most carnal desires. “For crying out loud! How barbaric! Love is nothing but a chemical reaction. It is fleeting and deceptive, for what is now lust will fade like my enemies before me and my Katana.
To be continued…
Good morning /lit. It’s me again. You are probably wondering why I am up so early. Well I like to go exercise early in the morning so I can have them endorphines rushing through my veins for the remainder of the day, whilst you all are still wanking it to anime and alt-tabbing into your World of Warcraft battleground.
Jason Nguyen
The Freudian slip is real
Jose Roberts
What exactly are you hoping to achieve with this?
Michael Morales
That image is too anti-Veeky Forums, you're mixing your messages now.
Aiden Reed
This is probably the worst parody I've read on Veeky Forums.
Angel Lee
Ah a fedora... think I'll pick it up and place it on my head Lol.
Daniel Ramirez
Enlighten me, /Literary Scholar.
Adam Richardson
Enlighten me, /Literary Scholar
Austin Brooks
I am really really confused as to who is writing this and why
is this double false flagging or what
Justin Carter
Enlighten me, /Literary Scholar.
Leo Hall
Enlighten me, /Literary Scholar.
Jaxson Taylor
Enlighten me, /Literary Scholar.
Jacob Hill
With casual joviality /fit and his girl limped from the now vacant room, fumes of pheromones and sweat dissipating into the air, filling /lit’s nostrils and instigating once again something primal within him but that something which he could not directly identify with, for he was a virgin past his prime. /lot caught a glimpse of the girl’s heavenly and adorable breasts as they moved with her steps, like jello recoiling from a jolt. “Fuck! “ thought /lit, as that familiar pang made its presence known, first in his belly region but then slowly making its way southward. That dreadful throbbing and aching, ever present pain that only went away with the swift work of /lit’s hand. “My friends at Nofap are going to be so disappointed in me. I promised them no more masturbating!” But /lit could not help himself. He was only human, and he had just seen standing before him what he had only before seen reflected from his lifeless computer screen.
To be continued.
Elijah Reyes
Enlighten me, /Literary Scholar.
Xavier Thomas
>it's a Veeky Forums bullies Veeky Forums thread
Jaxon Johnson
Enlighten me, /Literary Scholar
Levi Collins
Not bad. I can't say I will miss the beach, but I do want a cute girl for a relationship. I don't need sex, I'm just kinda lonely.
Blake Anderson
Enlighten me, /Literary Scholar.
Jayden Morris
That's classified
James Collins
ugh this thread is still up?
I just joined from reddit r/booktubers and even I am annoyed by OP
does sage work on this board?
Thomas Bailey
Enlighten me, /Literary Scholar
Jayden Carter
>fit >hanging out with a cute girl >not 'miring his bro's bod instead
OP clearly hasn't browsed both lit and fit enough to write a good copypasta.