/lit triumphantly threw his backpack down and sat in his usual, favorite seat in the library

/lit triumphantly threw his backpack down and sat in his usual, favorite seat in the library.
"Yes! once again I'm the only one here on a Saturday morning. The neandrathols must have slept in after a night of barbaric hedonism"
/Lit took out his brand new Kindle and admired his smile in its reflection.
"only 6 of 8 gigs used. I need to step it up, lol! Let's see what my friends over at Reddit and Goodreads have to recommend for this summer's reading list."
As /Lit was adjusting his Fedora and loggin into his Goodreads account, he heard that dreadful sound that he ever so detested.
"Hehehe, stop it!"
"Come here baby. Let me see that ass."
/Fit sauntered in, head held triumphantly in the air, with one arm around what appeared to be a new girl.
"Ohh great," thought /Lit. "They always make so much noise.. All the laughing and having a good time. Don't they know a genius is trying to get some work done here?"
The smell of sex filled the air as /Fit and his new girl walked by, though /Lit could not identify it as such, being a 24 year old virgin himself.
To be continued....


Hey /lit, now that summer is rapidly approaching, how does it feel knowing that we over at /Fit are soon to be at the beach, girls in hand, whilst you all are on here arguing about which book is hardest and thus most desirable to read?

>Implying I leave the house

>neandrathols
your post is hard to read but it didn't make it desirable to do so. i suppose not being able to read has stopped you forming the realisation Veeky Forums is gay and will be sucking cock in a cottage this summer, but i thought the pictures would have made even an illiterate cop on to it.

*tips fedora*

Why would Veeky Forums and a cute girl be in the library on a Saturday morning? This reads like a very poor parody by someone who doesn't browse here very much.

kek as if your shitty board isn't filled with fat fucks thinking that they can lift and are attractive.

You and I both know Veeky Forums would be fucking a Greek statue.

10/10

It seems like you don't browse either boards.

Veeky Forums would probably say "y-you to" if a girl said anything to em

YOU'RE FUCKING A WHITE MALE

Quite fine. Opium and poetry > sex.

>Veeky Forums
>with a grill

desu lads

Part Two:
"hehe stop it! Not here someone will see!"
"shhhhh you mean that dork over there? He's too busy with his math homework to notice"
/Lit was fuming at this point. "Physics is not math. It uses math but it is not math! It is the study of the laws of the universe. Of cause and effect. (Sigh).
Not that these two idiots would understand. They probably don't even browse /lit."
Meanwhile /Fit and his girlfriend were in a passionate embrace, seemingly oblivious to the fact that they were in a public place.
Not that it mattered. They were the Alpha male and female. They could do what they wanted to do without fear of reproach.
"Damnit! Not again! Another Saturday ruined. It was just me and Newton and he was teaching me his secrets but these two just had to come and ruin it. If I was not such an enlightened being
I would ask God what I had done to anger him."
/Lit loudly cleared his throat as if to announce his disapproval, but /Fit and his girl did not notice the invisible ghost glaring at them.
/Lit angrily grabbed his backpack and began his march of defeat out of what he had thought was his sanctuary.
To be continued....


Hey /Lit. It's me again. I am not against books or anything. It's just that if you guys would only lift weights and experience that surge of endorphins you would come to the realization that it is time to put down the book (you don't understand it anyway), put your Fedora away, and get your ass to the gym. You might even see a girl or two.

>not reading on the beach under the sunshine
>not having a Veeky Forums husbando to ward off pests while you read in comfy
why even be alive

i would stare at Veeky Forums all day if they actually looked like a greek statue, face included.

8/10, but you focused too much on the content and not the presentation. The neanderthal misspelling was a good one, but that's pretty much it.

>/Lit was fuming

Britbong detected.

Don't you have anything better to be doing on a sunny Thursday afternoon m8?

This tryhard shit is lame.

>Britbong detected.
Is fuming a British phrase?

>only lift weights and experience that surge of endorphins

no thanks I prefer heroin

>This tryhard shit is lame.
That's only because you didn't understand it. You need to read the background OP was influenced by- then you'll be able to fully comprehend where he was coming from. I suggest Thucydides, Hegel and Infinite Jest as a good starting point.

...

sauce pls

Ho-hum.

Well it's not an American one is it lad?

I wouldn't know.

Where the shitdicks *did* this ladposting come from, anyway?

Americans use that word, what the fuck are you on about?

fuming is certainly used in america.

diverting from the funposting for a moment, isn't lad predominantly a north england term? i don't hear it much anymore.

The smell of Protein farts filled the air, as Veeky Forums thrust his member into his boyfriend's firm but willing hole once more. He rolled his head back in carnal ecstasy and as if it were returning to where it was always meant to go, he shot a viscous fat load into his boyfriend's anus. He quivered, he moaned and then, when all was said and done he opened his laptop and began a shit posting thread of Veeky Forums.

faggot

sex is for perverts

Yes, it is, although it's also a Londoner term. Probably other parts of Britain too. You definitely hear it here in the SE, at least.

/Lit quickly regretted his decision to leave the library. His home was over half a mile away and he dreaded walking.
"Damnit. Mom isn't home so she can't pick me up and the bus doesn't run on Saturdays. There is no way in hell I can walk over half a mile."
Breathing heavily from his overexertion, /Lit plopped his backpack on the ground and decided he would lay down for a bit. After all, he broke his personal record (250 steps taken) and deserved some respite.
As he gently drifted off to sleep, /Lit could still hear the laughter of /Fit and he girl, echoing in the distance of his imagination.
"Damn those two," thought /Lit, as he completed his transformation from consciousness to dreaming.
To be continued.

Well /Lit, I see you all have chosen to go ahead and focus on whether or not I am British as opposed to truly reflecting
on what I have to say. How does it feel knowing that whilst you strain your eyes and brain trying to understand some badly written book,
I will be in some girl's house, listening to her loud moans of ecstasy in my ear?

it's ok because sex is for perverts

This actually made me feel pathetic
Except I don't have shit taste in entertainment mediums

Vidya>Literature>TV and Films

>/Lit could still hear the laughter of /Fit and he girl
>he girl

so Veeky Forums is full of fags

nye's trips

You know there was a time when Veeky Forums and Veeky Forums were friends. I know this is bait, but those days were a lot more fun.

>not being Veeky Forums and Veeky Forums

Pope's still Catholic.
Sounds like shitty masculinist "Stoicism" to me. You know the type -- conservative guys who want so badly to be seen as REAL MEN they cling on to traditional manly archetypes like the Romans, and aggressively auto-fellate themselves about it without actually reading anything.

0/10

Enlighten me, /Literary Scholar!

>Fit and he girl

Lmao that Freudian slip

Enlighten me, /Literary Scholar.

>Veeky Forums
>kindle

>Veeky Forums
>people interested in women
Choose one.

Was this supposed to be like a confederacy of dunces?

>/lit

this is just bad

4u

>Kindle
>guy in pic is reading paperback
I remember when memes were funny and people actually put effort into them

Enlighten me, /Literary Scholar!

my girl and I read together after sex

IT'S Veeky Forums YOU FUCKERS

NEWFAGGOTS PLS GO STAY GO

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

>trolled

As /lit drifted even deeper into his peaceful slumber, visions began to arise.
Visions of stacks upon stacks of books rising before him. Philosophy books, University physics, Organic Chemistry,
The Great books of the Western world 54 book set. All were his.
The new book smell emanated from every dimension in this dream world. The potent rays of light bounced off the crisp and perfect
Pages and every page turned ever so perfectly, without the need to wet his finger with his tongue.
Just as /lit was preparing to delve into some William James, he heard a thump at the chamber entrance.
He placed his Pynchon autographed bookmark into the book and shut it, taking long strides to the chamber.
"hmm I wonder who it could be. Perhaps even Newton himself?"
Precum began to form in /lit's pants as he anticipated his surprise.
To be continued...

Hey Veeky Forums glad you are still with me.
I just got back from class, where I was flirting with females (those things you read about in your books only.) How does it feel knowing that whilst you are in the library, huddled in your own little corner and reading your advanced mathematics book in an attempt to distract yourself from your failed sexual game, that I am here surrounded by alpha females with my pick of the choosing?

...

Veeky Forums is a bully masturbating at his own muscle size and laughing at those who fail at the standards he ignorantly claims to be universal.

In other words, nobody gives a fuck about the chickens you've been eating for an year to get a muscle mass. Laughing at us for that just makes you more pathetic.

Veeky Forums arose at sunset and poured himself a shot of gin while he admired his huge stack of second hand paperbacks
"i can't believe some people use kidnles"
he went on the balcony and drank coffee and watched people for an hour or two thinking about the ineluctable modality of the visible and the differences between static and kinetic art
then he went inside and browsed Veeky Forums for 11 hours before going back to sleep

meanwhile Veeky Forums worked out in his room and watched taxi driver

>tfw you actually do this

I don't even know if this should make me feel bad or not.

>not being both Veeky Forums and Veeky Forums
Enjoy your myopic view of the world cunts
The renaissance men will leave you behind when the revolution comes

But as he opened the door, /lit's smile quickly faded from his visage.
"No. This can't be," he thought to himself, or may have even spoke aloud. He couldn't remember
His brain was rattling and flailing trying to comprehend what was happening, for it was /Fit himself and yet another girl at his side who were standing at the door.
"Hey /lit! rumbled /Fit in his testosterone-filled voice. "You won't be needing this will ya?" as he pointed to /lit's nightstand, which had a lonely condom perched on top, from older times when /lit's mom told him that he should carry one around "just in case that special someone were to show."
"Get oooouuuuuuu...." /lit started to squeal, but was quickly cut off by /fit, who casually flung him aside and took his female prize along with him, the smell of sex once again filling the air.
"It's that danged smell again. I don't know what it is, but I like it!" thought /lit, as his defeated frame
Stooped even lower than his poor posture provided.
To be continued.

>tfw you actually do this
Which one?

lmao this post

>he went on the balcony and drank coffee and watched people for an hour or two thinking about the ineluctable modality of the visible and the differences between static and kinetic art
>then he went inside and browsed Veeky Forums for 11 hours before going back to sleep

Unfortunately I sometimes have days like this.

Enlighten me, /Literary Scholar.

Bodybuilding and lifting heavy things is just for fucking toxic masculinity fucks!

It fucking is really fucking shitty and problematic t b h.

Enlighten me, /Literary Scholar.

top kek

Enlighten me, /Literary Scholar

Enlighten me, /Literary Scholar.

ignatius is that you?

Who are you writing for?

Bumping for moar

>not sitting properly on public transportation
>public transportation
Why don't I live in the 1950s?

Enlighten me, /Literary Scholar

You need more content to get hooks, you'll have to do more of your creative writing.

Enlighten me, /Literary Scholar.

>doesn't put her head in the oven

Not Veeky Forums related.

/lit tried to make the most of his problematic situation, for though he had read many books on lucid dreaming, he was yet to reach the stage where he could control them……or leave them at will.
“Sigh. Well at least I still have my books. Vagina is but a fleeting pleasure, whereas a good read can change one forever.”
/lit jammed his ear-plugs into his sensitive sensory organs, perhaps a little bit too hard, perhaps thinking a little too longingly about what was going on in the room adjacent his.
Thump! Thump! Bang! Clang!
/lit furiously glared towards the door, where /fit and his prize were loudly oblivious to all but their most carnal desires.
“For crying out loud! How barbaric! Love is nothing but a chemical reaction. It is fleeting and deceptive, for what is now lust will fade like my enemies before me and my Katana.

To be continued…

Good morning /lit. It’s me again. You are probably wondering why I am up so early. Well I like to go exercise early in the morning so I can have them endorphines rushing through my veins for the remainder of the day, whilst you all are still wanking it to anime and alt-tabbing into your World of Warcraft battleground.

The Freudian slip is real

What exactly are you hoping to achieve with this?

That image is too anti-Veeky Forums, you're mixing your messages now.

This is probably the worst parody I've read on Veeky Forums.

Ah a fedora... think I'll pick it up and place it on my head Lol.

Enlighten me, /Literary Scholar.

Enlighten me, /Literary Scholar

I am really really confused as to who is writing this and why

is this double false flagging or what

Enlighten me, /Literary Scholar.

Enlighten me, /Literary Scholar.

Enlighten me, /Literary Scholar.

With casual joviality /fit and his girl limped from the now vacant room, fumes of pheromones and sweat dissipating into the air, filling /lit’s nostrils and instigating once again something primal within him but that something which he could not directly identify with, for he was a virgin past his prime.
/lot caught a glimpse of the girl’s heavenly and adorable breasts as they moved with her steps, like jello recoiling from a jolt.
“Fuck! “ thought /lit, as that familiar pang made its presence known, first in his belly region but then slowly making its way southward. That dreadful throbbing and aching, ever present pain that only went away with the swift work of /lit’s hand.
“My friends at Nofap are going to be so disappointed in me. I promised them no more masturbating!”
But /lit could not help himself. He was only human, and he had just seen standing before him what he had only before seen reflected from his lifeless computer screen.

To be continued.

Enlighten me, /Literary Scholar.

>it's a Veeky Forums bullies Veeky Forums thread

Enlighten me, /Literary Scholar

Not bad. I can't say I will miss the beach, but I do want a cute girl for a relationship. I don't need sex, I'm just kinda lonely.

Enlighten me, /Literary Scholar.

That's classified

ugh this thread is still up?

I just joined from reddit r/booktubers and even I am annoyed by OP

does sage work on this board?

Enlighten me, /Literary Scholar

>fit
>hanging out with a cute girl
>not 'miring his bro's bod instead

OP clearly hasn't browsed both lit and fit enough to write a good copypasta.