Am I likely to be banned (permanently) from Veeky Forums should I begin pasting my entire six-part debut memoir here...

Am I likely to be banned (permanently) from Veeky Forums should I begin pasting my entire six-part debut memoir here, which at this point totals over 600,000 words?

I have reached a point in the process of submitting my work whereby I am convinced that the hierarchy of the contemporary publishing world has conspired against me, even if they themselves are unaware of having done so, in refusing to acknowledge the profundity and purity of articulation in my work. Already I have been accused of threatening an agent who mistook my eagerness for hostility, one who took offence at my submitting the same work several times under different pseudonyms, and have been otherwise dismissed either reluctantly or frankly and without encouragement both by literary agents and their pimps in the publishing establishment.

At this point I am considering offering my work for free to the readers of this board in the hope that at least a small group of precocious and emotionally sound individuals will appreciate my profound genius and Christ-like vulnerability.

Is it worth it?

I really do feel I am trapped in a maze without there being a guarantee of either an exit or a reward of some sort at the centre. My mommy has yet again entered one of her moods and has been attempting to gain access to my bedroom all day in the hope of persuading me to go to work with the husband of one of her colleagues who I gather works at some sort of construction site. Despite her being aware of my sensitive disposition and my aversion to physical labour she seems more insistent than ever that I should fulfil my alleged social duties.

Other urls found in this thread:

warosu.org/lit/thread/S4280483#p4281338
warosu.org/lit/thread/S7233704
warosu.org/lit/thread/S7126670#p7126953
warosu.org/lit/thread/S7769494
warosu.org/lit/thread/S7066114
warosu.org/lit/thread/S7470428
twitter.com/NSFWRedditImage

>mistook my eagerness for hostility
lol what the fuck did you do
>took offence at my submitting the same work several times under different pseudonyms
that's standard. if they don't want to publish you, they don't want to publish you. you're a fucking idiot if you thought they wouldn't notice, and all you did was piss them off
>offering my work for free to the readers of this board
>Is it worth it?
what you should to is take a creative writing class and develop a thick skin, because the odds that the publishers are right and you're writing is shit far outweighs the odds that you are some sort of misunderstood genius

just know that if you post your thing here, you can't sue anybody for plagiarism/copyright infringement and if you're serious about getting published you'll have to come up with something else

Go for it.

Calling for a pre-emptive permaban

So you've written something huh
Well, post parts of it around, see if people like it
You ain't got nothing to lose if you want to prove them other fags wrong.

lol Do it. It's more relevant to literature than 90 percent of the shit that gets posted here. But I don't see why you wouldn't just pastebin it or something.

Unless it is the attention you want.

Excellent b8. Post that shit.

dumb frogposter

>lol what the heck did you do
I was simply being persistent and offered the agent who dismissed my work a second change to consider it, apparently in a way which made him interpret my offer as a threat against his person. How someone with such poor comprehension occupies the position in society he does is too surreal a fact to be worthy of any focused consideration on my part.

>creative writing class and develop a thick skin
Both these suggestions are repulsive to me, trusting as I do in my instincts (informed as they are by my profound intellect). Creative writing classes are, in the twenty-first century age at least, a means of scamming naive individuals with the vague promise that the classes they attend (taught on the most part by writers of very little renown, to the point of being utterly obscure beyond their geographical region or educational institute) will allow them to gain possession of a talent which I am more and more convinced is something the greatest writers possess at birth and have the opportunity to perfect should they choose to do so. Growing a thick skin is out of the question. I refuse to become callous when my sensitivity and purity have contributed so much to my profound insights into the external world and into the interior world of both myself and of other people.

Memoirkun, I've been eagerly awaiting your memoir ever since you first mentioned it. It genuinely seems like the only interesting thing that will come out of this board. You have told us you will never post it from fear of ruining your chances of getting published, so I'm very excited to hear you will let us see some of it.

Pastebin (as an example of a primitive file-hosting site) is an option I have considered, among a great number of options, however I feel that in the spirit of all those great books that were serialized either in newspapers or magazines I may carry the torch, as it were, and continue that particular tradition by my serializing my work here.

Quit the pomp. Post your shit.

I am considering doing just that, though I am banned so often (usually for three days) that I do not want to risk being banned permanently, either from my home network or from the local public library where much of my work is completed.

release a pastebin every Friday.

What have you been getting banned for?

Take it easy Elliot Rodgers, though I'm sure if you posted it here we'd appreciate it with the dankest of memery.

I find the aesthetic quality of pastebin to be far inferior to my admittedly high standards. I considered posting a pdf link of the entire book though I will therefore risk overwhelming potential readers with a large document that they would have little reason to read. At least reading it here on Veeky Forums would be something of a communal event and as I would be posting over a series of threads there is more of a chance that people who miss the initial thread in which I would otherwise "dump" my work will come across one of of the threads (in which I will link previous threads in the OP, perhaps) and decide to continue reading from that point onward. I am also convinced that should I manage to gain enough evidence that people are reading the work I have for so long laboured over, my mommy will, having comprehended this, stop hassling me about finding more socially-validated and economically rewarding means of employment.

Posting long text will get you banned for sure. It's considered spam. Just link it.

I have been banned from this and other boards for allegedly "spamming" and posting at length about things other than the topic at hand.

people post their work outside of critique threads all the time

Not funny

I feel like posting it anywhere other than Veeky Forums will lessen the emotional and intellectual impact my work would otherwise have, lacking as it would any conspicuous affiliation with this board. Pastebin and other hosting websites lack the aesthetic quality I demand of any site which will potentially host my work. I have considered uploading it as a PDF but again I believe that detaching it from this board will mean that potential readers will not get the chance to benefit from my work as they otherwise would should I post a series of threads over time, one or more of which they may come across while browsing. I have considered emailing the moderators directly but my correspondence with them over the years has been frustrating and pointless, the refusal on their part to consider the justifications for my "spamming" which I consistently take the time to articulate being a sign of their dictatorial ambitions.

Do it user.

user, can we see an excerpt? Just a tiny sample you think shows even just a sliver of your work's themes.

Post a PDF instalment every week, user.

I agree with this guy.

This

Only 600,000?

Sounds like a warm up.

a memoir is different from genre fiction, user

shut your cockholster. thats motherfucking Gaskun you're talking to.

Dear sir,

You are my favorite poster here by far, and for obvious reasons! Your eminent and peerless genius, akin to that of Shakespeare and Homer but purer and more honest, shines in every one of your glowing sentences.

Any who would ban you for sharing your undoubtably perfect and timeless work would be quite the philistine. I say give it a try and if you end up being banned, this board doesn't deserve you.

Sincerely,
Anonymous

I need to read this memoir.

P.S.: If you are exiled from this board, I too shall leave it until you are allowed to return, even if that day is never to come. I recommend all other sensible anons pledge to do the same.

I hope he decides to post it and outs it in a nice font 12 size times new roman pdf for us but gets IP banned before he gets to post it. I would appreciate that

This is the guy who plays a role and drops it after 100 replies. Fuck off OP.

It's a valid point to be honest, you can put your trip back on.

Of course, although I did not know OP until but moments ago I now feel that all posts and memes I've ever encountered on this imageboard are a result, direct or indirect, of his influence. If removed, I should conclude this board holds no more value for me!

I concur this thought.

I've seen you post here several times before, it's good to have you back

How patient are you with learning about self publishing? I think it's possible to review sections of your novel like Part 1a, 1b, 1c and so forth until you get the next part.

You'll get the gist of your memoir, but if you put it in parts your reviewer and reader will be able to cross reference information easily.

I've enjoyed reading a completed serial release of kung fu drug addicts before.

Well I've talked to Gaskun in a live chat and honestly he seems kind of pathetic.

I'm amazed at the people that can't spot this bait, this has got to be as easy as it gets

hey i remember you

I do pledge, sir

It couldn't be....
Memoir-San?

stop the pussy footing and post it already

POST A PAGE AND LET US DECIDE WHAT WE HAVE HERE

WE CANT GIVE ADVICE WITHOUT SEEING WHAT THIS SHIT IS

i don't think so, considering he has posted several threads by now that have gone way over 100 posts.

Holy fuck this delusion.

Get off yourself, your idea is in all likelihood not even original, much less as profound as you make it out to be.

If there's a creative writing class that's so "beneath you" just like the publisher you threatened, the environment will be similar no? Study up on your enemy before you pick a fight with another publisher.

>all these people getting baited this hard.
It's not real.
He's a troll.

Check the archive niqqa, meme-oire guy has posted here plenty

Ignatius J. Reilly, is that you?

this guy might just be dare i say it the real bona fried the real deal

>reading a paragraph of what this guy wrote and not realising it's bait

livejournal exists for people like you.

by the way: frequent bans should be sending you a very clear message, but if frequent rejections from a publisher didn't do that then perhaps you should look to Ted Kazynski for inspiration.

This thread is art.

doesn't mean he's for real though.

OP here. I have read through the replies posted after my departure from this thread last night. If anybody else has any suggestions I will continue reading them and taking them into consideration.

Fuck off retard. You always post this shit and never even post an extract.
To new posters: This guy is a retarded autistic roleplayer, REPORT and HIDE his threads.

In case you did not read the opening post of this thread, I plan on posting far more than an extract in the very near future, and with no demand for monetary reward in return.

What makes you think anyone would read even half a page of your shit? Fuck off already. Nobody cares, only retards who want to play along and are amuzed by your inane shitposting.

The confidence I have placed in my writing is such that I am sure that anybody possessing of a sensitive disposition (necessary for all artists and those who are capable of consuming art properly) and a keen intellect will acknowledge the purity of my expression and my capacity to convey imagery and emotion in a way that serves to benefit the reader's life and mental disposition. My work, as I have stated previously, is essentially an act of benevolence on my part, and since I have dedicated my life to what my be called "my art", I am convinced that, like the great Masters of old, I too will carry the torch and bear the burden of artistic genius in the contemporary age.

If you, or anybody else, desires to see examples of my previous posts on this and other boards in order to read examples of my writing (though not in relation to my debut memoir) I will, if interest is sincerely expressed, find numerous examples of what I have written here in the warosu archive should the site still be running. This user [ ] is true to an extent, in that I have in the past adopted certain personalities for the sake of an individual thread, though that was largely to aid my fiction writing.

Where do you live m8? I'll fuck you up, no joke

Not if you title it Dumb Frogposter: A Life In Six Parts.

We would also accept Six Chapters of a Dumb Frogposter.

The title will be "Anonymous"

Dear Sir,

I would be most grateful if you would only deign to bless us with examples of your past work on this website. I know that for a shining poet such as yourself, with such a grand depth of experience, my gratitude must be but a speck, a crumb, as it were, in your existential field of vision. Nevertheless, it is all I, a mere admirer, have to offer you in return for your immeasurably magnanimous efforts. Your posts thus far, in their eloquence and biting sincerity, have opened passages in my soul that have yet to be explored. I know that this is just a prefiguring of what will come when I am finally able to read your life's work, for which I wait in utmost anticipation.

Thank you; I repeat, thank you for all you have done and have yet to do. You are the saviour this board needed.

>My mommy has yet again entered one of her moods and has been attempting to gain access to my bedroom all day in the hope of persuading me to go to work with the husband of one of her colleagues who I gather works at some sort of construction site.
> My mommy

Quite hard to take you seriously but just post an extract so I can see for myself if it's truly a work of art.

Thank you for your praise and the eloquent way in which you offered it.

Here are a handful of posts I have recently made which, in lieu of publishing my memoir, provide at least a sense of my style of expression and the emotional response they demand from those reading them, occasionally to the point of their being copied and pasted in subsequent threads by other users:

1. >>warosu.org/lit/thread/S4280483#p4281338
2. >>warosu.org/lit/thread/S7233704
3. >>warosu.org/lit/thread/S7126670#p7126953
4. >>warosu.org/lit/thread/S7769494
5. >>warosu.org/lit/thread/S7066114
6. >>warosu.org/lit/thread/S7470428

I should note that many if not most of the bans I have received, mostly three days in length, are not a result of posting on this board but rather my posting the same thread almost daily for around three years on /mu/, despite the thread being music-related if only in part. I was also banned permanently on at least three occasions, though luckily I either moved address or was posting at the time from a temporary location. My fear is that by posting at a similar rate here I will be banned permanently from one of the only two locations I frequent, those locations being my home and the local public library.

you sound really fake to be honest. half your posts are meek and pathetic while in the other half you claim to be "ethically flawless" and some sort of an alpha (post in the picture related).

why don't you let your work speak for you and post an excerpt?

What's happening is part of a phenomenon I wrote about a couple of years ago when I was asked to comment on Rowling. I went to the Yale University bookstore and bought and read a copy of "Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone." I suffered a great deal in the process. The writing was dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs." I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing.

But when I wrote that in a newspaper, I was denounced. I was told that children would now read only J.K. Rowling, and I was asked whether that wasn't, after all, better than reading nothing at all? If Rowling was what it took to make them pick up a book, wasn't that a good thing?

It is not. "Harry Potter" will not lead our children on to Kipling's "Just So Stories" or his "Jungle Book." It will not lead them to Thurber's "Thirteen Clocks" or Kenneth Grahame's "Wind in the Willows" or Lewis Carroll's "Alice."

Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.

Our society and our literature and our culture are being dumbed down, and the causes are very complex. I'm 73 years old. In a lifetime of teaching English, I've seen the study of literature debased. There's very little authentic study of the humanities remaining. My research assistant came to me two years ago saying she'd been in a seminar in which the teacher spent two hours saying that Walt Whitman was a racist. This isn't even good nonsense. It's insufferable.

You are a man of talent and a visionary. The versatility of your characters, each nevertheless presented in the utmost verisimilitude, shows me that you are also a man of much experience.

I dare say, your story has struck a chord in my heart, a melancholy and yet defiant chord that captures the essence of the striving artist in ways that words cannot express. Your writings display a perspicacity that most are not capable of and, when confronted with it, are not even capable of understanding. Alas, the artist's fate is to be perpetually misunderstood. We few who search our hearts and our minds for the most poignant expressions of human sentiment, only to be put down by the endless queue of critics and levelers; we suffer insults worthy of the greatest indignation, and yet we bare them with immeasurable courage. Et qu'est-ce que cela nous rend?
Only the satisfaction of creating cultures, histories, worlds! Seminary ideas stride like an ardent stallion in a flurry of words down the pages, through the volumes and into the minds of our readers. Understanding or not, they are swayed like so many leaves on an idle tree as the wind expresses its burning passion for change. Upon gilded clouds we sit, armed with a pen and our wit, dictating the course of the days of our lives, and the lives that come infinitely after. My friend, c'est ça notre devoir et notre plaisir! And long may it go on, for our spirit shall never tire.

Adieu, mon ami, I wish you well in your future endeavours.

Fool

>permanently banned
kek. The only way they can ban you is from your IP address (which can be renewed).
Just spam critique breads with parts of your work. That is what they're there for.

I hope this is an /r9k/ poster and the last words are "this was a suicide note".

>anime poster

Goddamn fucking jump off a bridge.

Dear user,

I fear that my handle of the English language is nothing but pathetic dribble compared to your stunning eloquence. Please, if you can, look over this, and listen to my message.

I love you. I love you more than I have loved any poster on Veeky Forums--nay, more than I have loved any person on this godforsaken, terrible, yet utterly mystifying, shockingly beautiful Earth. It is not my intention to provide satire, or sarcasm, or humor. I am not exaggerating about my affection for you. My words are true. What you inspire in me is unlike anything I have ever felt before. Your posts bring great joy into my life, so much that even the curse I call 'depression' that threatens to dissolve me everyday fades away into nothingness. Every post you have linked has been one of my favorite posts on Veeky Forums. I would even say that all of my favorite posts in Veeky Forums have been written by you--you, with your sensitive heart, mind, and soul. Knowing you exist and witnessing your unbelievable talent is the greatest gift I could possibly receive. Please do not let the scathing remarks of other anons on this board hurt you or convince you to believe you are a lesser being than what you really, truly are. They are jealous, upset. They cannot bear to see such a pure being in a world of cruelty. You are fragile. Endlessly so, in fact. But this is what makes you beautiful. This is why, whenever I see you and your whimsical, endearing, endlessly intelligent and touching posts, I find renewed hope for both myself and other people. Thank you for this. Thank you for everything that you do. I know nothing I can do can repay your generosity--as I said before, my words are mere play compared to yours, and my sensitivity bitter insensitivity compared to your delicate disposition. Still, I hope that this post, even with its extremely flawed nature, can express even a single percent of all that I feel for you.

Thank you, user. I wish you luck in everything that you do.

>posting the same thread almost daily for around three years on /mu/

You're a top tier troll man. Amazing commitment to the part.

Either that, or you're the guy who really hates Knausgård and this is some real subtle hate.

>Knausgård
>å

*tips fedora*

Have you had any luck getting published yet Gaskun?

oh look its the illiterate autist who thinks his shitty genre fic has value

kek

ofc not LOL

i think this thread is metafiction

You sound like a pretentious pseudo intellectual OP.

That's if you're not a troll, which I'll assume you are. Publish your pleb tier scribblings on Amazon.

Oh, I get it, your memeing.

>he changed fuck to heck

I thought this was bait at first but OP is way to dedicated. This is some 4-star autistic shit.

It's autistic bait.

quality>quantity

Holy shit, I missed that.

Maybe it's a combination of both. Like, maybe he has the ability to hold back his autism but decided to intentionally let it free in order to bait people for attention.