Dumbest Theory About A Work Of Literature Or Author

So I'm in my second year of Uni and it seems like every other prof wants to make a name for himself by going
[popular author] was GAY/BISEXUAL/ACTUALLY A WOMAN
And
[popular work] is a metaphor for COMMUNISM/ATHISM/IMPOTENCE
What's the dumbest theory you've heard?

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Shakespeare was gay

that pynchon is good

all I hear on Veeky Forums is that universities in usa are going to shit.
Is that true?

that god does not exist and jesus christ is not his son and our saviour

universe professors are intelligent.

...

yes, but I believe the biggest problems are economic, rathee than political.

NO, HE WAS A GODDAMN FAGGOT!

>So I'm in my second year of Uni and it seems like every other prof wants to make a name for himself by going
>[popular author] was GAY/BISEXUAL/ACTUALLY A WOMAN
There are a handful of key people that probs were more sexually adventurous than one might expect at the time, but often this is part of a wider movement. So like if they're in the enlightenment it was quite fashionable to fuck men too because that's what the Greek boys did. I noticed a few years back that lots of undergrads would randomly assign that "such and such was actually GAY" like that somehow was a deep point, and not treating a sexual orientation as a kind of spectacle.

Most of them end up changing their view when they think right wing thought is more grown up too.

Shakespeare and Cervantes are the same person.

elmundo.es/cataluna/2016/04/13/570e97d6ca4741d7718b461d.html

thanks Catalonia

he can be both and also a theif who stole his plays from an uncredited black woman.

I look forward to future analyses of Venus and Adonis and claims that Shakespeare was actually furkin

Will we ever see justice for the scourge of the white male?

Gogol was gay and Dead Souls has a homosexual narrative that proves this. I was only taking the class as a bird course but here I took intrest and debated my professor on this. Never have I seen so many goalposts moved in to fast a time.

Stupid.

Everyone knows Shakespeare was a lesbian.

It's pretty much an accepted fact in contemporary literary theory that Jack Kerouac was a homosexual who expressed his homolust for Dean Moriarty in On The Road. I remember my prof doing a lecture on it and saying how Dean having a portrait of himself nude in his apartment was just a figment of Kerouac's imagination.

not to mention his one night stand with gore vidal

Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man is meant to be a post-colonial metaphor.

My professor said that after Adonis died and became a flower, Venus shoved the flower up her vagina and became a hermaphrodite.

tell me more about the size of your fedora

>[classic work of literature] is sexist/racist/liberal buzzword

And so is born the lesbian-Jewish-black Shakespeare theory

> implying I only have 1 fedora
Like all civilized gentlesirs I posses a substantial fedora collection

>american "universities"

"I like Lovecraft."
>BUT HE ACTUALLY HAD VERY RACIST VIEWS AND BLAHBLAHBLAH
YES I FUCKING KNOW ALREADY, I JUST DONT CARE

>The Constitution is terrible

The USSR actualyl won guys :/

Finnegan's Wake contains a story.

>What's the dumbest theory you've heard?
hitler was gay,mozart was black and shakespeare was illiterate.
>GAY/BISEXUAL/ACTUALLY A WOMAN
you forgot pedo and incest

That shakespeare was the queen.

Anything written by Robert Borski on Gene Wolfe, especially that "Cues" is about taking a poop.

That the unnameable in Beckett was actually an epistemically unknowable thing that destabilizes language and meaning when it is clearly a joke.

>a lesbian.
a trans lesbian.

>So I'm in my second year of Uni and it seems like every other prof wants to make a name for himself by going
>[popular author] was GAY/BISEXUAL/ACTUALLY A WOMAN

john green is actually a woman :^)

by which I mean he is a woman in a men's body but likes to fuck women.

>by which I mean he is a woman in a men's body but likes to fuck women
...in men's bodies?

ha that would make for an interesting book. maybe about a woman that can have her mind in many bodies but they can only be male bodies (with her original body being lost)

Some would go so far as to call you wrong...

>implying Shakespeare wasn't an African womyn

was he also "differently-abled"? did he struggle with type two diabetes?

Moby Dick is about everything except for whales.

The dumbest theory I ever heard was that the narrator of Melville's "Bartleby" was an idiot for not firing the eponymous character, because the latter wasn't an efficient worker.

they were arguing the story was basically didactic.

in my british lit class my professor mentioned in passing that virginia woolf was bi but didnt really get into it because it's an inconsequential thing and he's a reasonable man