My girl's birthday is coming up and I'm going to get her a book, what's the most likely to get me laid? And not just in the short term, like I could get her a book made of chocolate and probably get a quickie same day but I want a bigger return on investment and am willing to wait for a substantial period of time for it to mature.
She said 50 shades of grey was absolute dogshit and read like a fanfic btw so YA/fanfic tier romance shit won't work. Believe me, I tried.
nigga if you want a high return on investment go buy a stock or something
>what's the most likely to get me laid?
not getting her a book
What the fuck are you even on about.
>Believe me, I tried.
Why would you do that
She doesn't like jewelry, flowers or movies. She's strictly a chocolate and books kind of girl.
because I assumed she was a pleb considering the friend I met her through told me she liked Harry Potter, this was early on in the relationship before we were even official. I played it off as a joke and then wiped the sweat from my brow when she laughed about it later.
Turns out she liked Harry Potter when she was a preteen but actually grew out of it.
>I want a bigger return on investment and am willing to wait for a substantial period of time for it to mature
have you considered getting her a no-coupon 10y bond
I don't understand what you're asking. What do you mean "most likely to get me laid" and "bigger return on investment" and all that? Do you want her to want to marry you?
Is she fat?
I want a book with good prose and mature writing that will inspire her to sin to my benefit.
answer the question OP
is she fat?
have you had sex with her yet?
it must really suck to have a girlfriend and still have to do extraneous stuff in order to get fucked.
I don't even know how this is possible, but I feel for you, OP. Life for the inept probably sucks in general. (Or doesn't suck, as the case may be.)
The Fault in our Stars
or anything else by John Meme
What about you buy her a good book and then say, let's have a lot of sex, some of it kinky, some of it kinkier?
But if you're set in your ways, I guess you could try with Story of the Eye (not memeing, me and my girlfriend read it before getting together and we still make references/jokes about it), Burroughs in general and dunno, pick up a feminist/queer poet at random, they usually rave a lot about sex and their writing isn't that bad. You can also try Anne Carson, but it's something more intimate and "intellectual", as in noetic, from personal experience.
Also, get her a copy of this:
I'm serious.
The Story of "O"
Inspire her to sin? You have not had sex yet? Is it because she is overweight and she is insecure about her body?
see
And assuming that this "girl" really exist and is not just projection of your autogynephylia, how old is she? Because, you know, 15 yo reads different books that 30 yo.
wtf she's your gf why do you need to "earn" sex
How much overweight is she?
Du côté de chez Swann
Buy her the Metamorphoses, then turn into a swan and rape her
This, OP. What's wrong with you ? also
>the chocolate and books kind of girl
I bet my copy of women and men she's fat as fuck