Romance is selfish

>ad hominem
I have a loving family and a girlfriend with an Ivy League medical degree. I'm just a realist. Of course I love her because she represents many things I value largely for selfish reasons. I still love her though.

oh so you just suck then, whatever carry on

If it is so manifestly obvious that the only thing worth doing is work and charity and that romantic love is selfish then how come you are posting here, not contributing to work or charity.

Why is this not equally selfish. If not more selfish because in romantic love at least 2 people's lives are greatly improved whereas here, nobody's is.

Where is your leg to stand on, OP?

first of all, I'm not OP

second, i never said "the only thing worth doing is work and charity." Allow me to correct your awful awful reading comprehension:

THAT'S NOT WHAT I FUCKING SAID, RETARD

third, romantic love is not a guarantee of improved quality of life: that's completely myopic. How many miserable couples do you know? I know maybe one in 10 that are genuinely happy. Maybe. And even then, it doesn't last.

>What do you expect a person to be doing when not in romantic love that is superior morally?

>easy, work and charity.

If a person is to never be in romantic love, then what percentage of time will they not be in romantic love? 100% of the time, retard.

It is what you said, you're just too much of an idiot to realise it.

OP, talked abut the feeling of 'romantic love'. The feeling of romantic love is not the same as all the emotions one goes through in the relationship as i, perhaps optimistically, assumed you would understand. Romantic love in the sense OP described, i.e. the topic, has nothing to do with the misery you're describing

i don't think what op described IS love tautologically speaking.

seems to have describes love FEARS more than anything, without taking into account other aspects.

>you can only be happy if she with you
completely false and more a sign of codependency.

>you will only manifest your love bla bla bla
also false and more a sign of codependency. Op that is not love, maybe an immature and naive view of it perhaps, but that's being generous

>if they are with someone else
then there is no love anymore so i'm not sure how you fault this on it

>if she does not love you in the same way
how many different ways do you see someone can love you? i mean romantically? if you believe someone is the more loving in a relationship, then, more often than not, that is a sign of feeling inadequate and unsure, perhaps of having 'trust issues'

>romantic love is wanting a human being for you and you alone
no it isn't. desire is a part and monogamy can be as well, but i would dare to say love is so much more then pure WANT.

Romantic love is the result of oxytocin, which exists in order to improve pair bonding so that children are more likely to be raised in a functional family with two parents. Feels damn good though, can't blame people for pursuing it.

Romance is the feeling of possessing your prize, deeply embedded in the aryan man's soul. Modern life makes it difficult to live a life as a bandit and pirate, leads to isolation, will never die young, virile, savage and in love.

Poomantic love is le feeling of le chemicals in brain. DOESN'T EVEN REAL AHAHAHAHAHAHAH IDIOT!!!!

You could do this easily, but you don't because you aren't virile or savage. You post on Veeky Forums because you're timid.

Nah, romantic love is shitty because it puts one person above everything else. It's necessarily an act that excludes the rest of the world.

what a retarded belief

Explain how I could do this easily, with no money and a disintegrated social structure

To be fair, it's a chemical produced by the anterior pituitary gland, not the brain. And the purpose of saying that is to show that it's not rational and its purpose is evolutionary, not magical or god-given. It's good for people to understand the motivations behind their actions, doesn't mean anyone is an idiot for making decisions based on it. Functionally similar to drug addicts, sure, but not idiots.

>no money

This is a reason FOR being a pirate, dumbass. Go steal some shit. Disintegrated social structure makes crime easier, just look at Somalia.

What a retarded post.

>steal shit
>go to prison because bleep bloop computer world sees every move
>even more confined
Good plan. I think my plan of saving up to buy a boat is better.

What's wrong with selfishness? Plenty of actions are taken purely out of self interest. You aren't ashamed at your own moral depravity when you wake up and have a slice of toast for breakfast, are you? Why must every action be done for a higher cause? Romance isn't wrong for the same reason that playing ping-pong isn't wrong, it's just an activity that people take part in. The fact that said activities don't include every other living thing on the planet is not a qualifier.

Fine, if you really have so little faith in your bandit skills, go live in a third world country where there are no computers. I guarantee you it'll be cheaper and quicker than buying a boat.

>go live in a third world country where there are no computers
Gringo, por favor, no hay escape de esta mierda.

Hay escape, pero no vas a hacerlo porque eres pinche joto pendejo.

>pinche joto pendejo
Apendé a hablar, indio caníbal.

I'd be less free than on a boat.

Also not a burger so I can't just roll down to Mexico and get it overwith.

North Africa and ISIS-land aren't too far from Europe, a flight wouldn't be expensive. And you can get the boat once you're there, all you have to do is kill some random fisherman.

What about securing my lineage?

>fall for someone
>spend so much time thinking about shit like "Do I love her because she's attractive, or is she attractive because I love her?"
>drive myself crazy
>she refuses to talk to me now

During the course of your raping and pillaging you'll find a nice white woman sooner or later. Take her prisoner, rape her, Stockholm syndrome sets in, you've got yourself a war bride.

What's wrong with that? If you like someone for their looks, you can always break things off after you fuck, as long as she isn't too crazy.

i fell ya man
got rejected after a year of getting worked up for a chick yesterday
dunno why i had to fall for such a bitch
dont wanna love anybody ever again

Oh I meant "attractive" as in all her qualities, not just her physical appearance.

It was a really strong longing for her, sometimes I wonder if she was "the one" because even now I still think about her

>Am I in love with you

>Am I in love with you

>Or am I in love with the feeling

youtube.com/watch?v=qYj4l5Xntt0

If that's the case, then your confusion makes even less sense, and you would do well to lose the spook of "one true love".

Don't let one experience ruin you user. Just be more forward in the future and you'll waste less time.

looking at tickets to Somalia right now 2bh

God speed user, I wish you a manly death. I'll look for you in the news.

everything you fuckin do is borne out of self-interest

yes, even donating to africa or helping out at the soup kitchen. you did it either to make yourself feel good about being a "world citizen" (selfish) or to set a moral example for how you think humans should behave (selfish) to virtue signal to others about how holy you are to other people (selfish).

doesn't matter if you think you were 100% benevolent. you got something out of it or else you wouldn't be compelled to do it.

oh, add "i'm just paying it forward" to the list, too (selfish).

what about killing myself, i don't do that to feel good because i won't be around to feel.

check
mate

Though... Maybe I could find an easier starter country? Get my feet wet and all, I grew up fairly divorced from violence, haven't been in very many fights and I don't think any of the ones I've been in could have led to death.

Maybe join a militia in like, Nigeria first?

>the process of killing self feels good.

oh, add "i'm just paying it forward" to the list, too (selfish) and the most common answer: "it just makes me feel good" (selfish)

those of you saying 'love' is just chemicals in the brain lack knowledge on the etymology of 'love'.

those chemical reactions have existed long before the modern notion of 'love' has. cavemen experienced those same chemical reactions but they did not at all understand 'love' as we see it today;

>cavemen didn't have a written language so love isn't chemicals

you do that to end your own, personal suffering. thus you extract benefit. selfish.

>love is words

words come after everything, to describe pre-existing things observed. they don't create anything, despite what that famous book tells you.

The existence of a bunch of linguistic structures around a feeling does not change the experience of that feeling, only how we act on it. The purpose of saying it's chemicals in the brain is to separate the feeling and the connotations of the word, to show that those things can be separated.

Whatever you say, user, I'm not here to judge. Just trying to help you follow your dreams.

how do i extract benefit if i am not there to extract any benefit?

You don't have any suggestions? I feel like the Congo and Somalia are kinda like the major league of warlording.

That has to do with low I.Q.

>Don't let one experience ruin you user.
i know but its like
why would i even try again?
it seems so fucking pointless now
i wanna have a family and everything but it just seems impossible
even now i can feel myself grow more distant from her and i really liked her
how the fuck am i supposed to find someone who actually wants the same things as me?

take that up with your god

*takes bong hit* damn dude one of the few things society tells you not to do has a downside

True, I suppose it's best to work up to it. Nigeria might be a big intense though, due to the existence of Boko Haram. South Sudan, maybe?

The world is a big place user, it's not unlikely that at least one person shares your goals. Make an okcupid or some shit, most of the people will be cancer but you have to play the numbers game if you're looking for a specific type of girl.

eh?

damn told. wittgenstein was wrong

t. anons on Veeky Forums

all meming aside, take some time and read love and eroticism by octavio paz. i'm not going to try and argue the mechanics of language but perhaps a reading on the evolution on the literature of love can illuminate to you how something such as 'love' (more than anything else imo) has been shaped by language.

*takes another hit, blows weed breath in your face*
*unzips dick*

Hmm, might be hard to get my bearings in a tribal conflict, would be kinda like just jumping into it in Afghanistan.

This tho. People say "love is just chemicals lol" as if that's bad. What else did you expect? Did you think it was some kind of magical gift or something?

oh, haha!

Thanks, we will read the correct books to get the correct thoughts to correct our thinking.

Wittgenstein had an opinion, he's no more objectively right than any other philosopher or scientist. When I say "love is brain chemicals", it's to maybe prevent people from being as controlled as they are by the institutions surrounding a particular experience that results in the production of a particular hormone. I do not disagree that language shapes how we view things, but that shaping is subject to change, whereas hormones aren't. Hormones aren't the entirety of love, just the most essential and direct part of it.

your mother has bruised lips faggot

Why isn't she dead?

The point is to be powerful and manly, right? Find a tribe with a recently dead leader, fill the power void. Simple stuff.

I think the issue is that people use it to say love is a worthless the same way they use "weed is just a plant" to imply that it couldn't be harmful. It's an is-ought thing, saying love is chemical doesn't necessarily mean people shouldn't pursue it.

It's obviously just because people want to believe they are special spirits that won't die.

I doubt it runs that deep, people just condemn it because it's the kind of thing facebook pseuds post as if it makes them superior. Although I'm sure some of them are actual religious people using that perception to their advantage, same as the fedora meme.

>he thinks that's deep

It's actually quite shallow. A child's fairy tale.

Not sure if you're serious or not, but yeah sure I guess you could characterize it that way. I wasn't saying it was particularly "deep" though, just using the word relative to the other reason I gave.

Thanks for agreeing.

If understanding where you're coming from is close enough to agreeing for you, sure, no problem.

Thanks for the response.

Of course user, think nothing of it. Anything else you need?

Take my dick out of your mouth.

I would if it was there, sorry I can't help you on that one.

I accept your denial.

Thank you user, I appreciate your acceptance. Your words confuse me greatly but I wish you the best of luck regardless. Goodbye, friend.

Thank you for thinking of me.

Get a room, will you?

>Love to one only is a barbarity, for it is exercised at the expense of all others. Love to God also!
-N

Sorry, didn't mean to upset you.

Nietzsche seems to contradict himself quite a lot, I get the sense that he's aware of it though.

I appreciate your psychic abilities.

It's not selfish but it's the love closest to selfishness, because it's strength comes largely from sensual delight, the beauty of the beloved.

Love is primarily an act of the will, it is to will the good of another. Romantic love is in the will (else it would not be love), but it is heavily conditioned by the delight of the senses. Conjugal love, which is the perfection of romantic love, is more in the will and less in the senses, and is a superior form of love. Conjugal is more strong and stable, whereas romantic love can very quickly turn into resentment.

Oxytocin does not cause romantic love, romantic love causes the production of oxytocin.

Why do you feel the need to be hostile, user? I know this site makes it seem otherwise, but not everything needs to be an argument. I simply stated a guess, an opinion, I never claimed it was factual or that I was infallible.

You're assuming an argument.

This is why the expression "falling in love" is used in regards to romantic love, because it is the most accidental form of love in that it arises initially out of the sensual delight taken in someone, which is something that happens passively, which is why it is the weakest form of love, because the more active, rather than passive, a love is, the stronger. Romantic love is not entirely an accident though. We often see beautiful people and take delight in them. In order for this mere sensual delight to become romantic love, one must make an act of the will based on that initial sensual delight.

This is why those that say oxytocin or some other chemical is the cause of romantic love are wrong. It is not the chemical that causes romantic love, but the act of love, the choice to love someone, that maintains the continual production of this chemical or whatever chemical is involved in sensual delight.

The reason people think romantic love is the strongest form of love is because of the intensity of the sensual delight. But that is not an act of love. The act of love is the will to do good for another, and if you examine romantic love you will found that there is a will to do good for another, but it's not that strong, as one is largely preoccupied with one's own delight.

>love envelops all, even death

Actually, the most effective way to release oxytocin is through nipple stimulation. Somewhat less romantic, but a lot more convenient.

You're right, there is in fact a chance that you genuinely believe I have psychic abilities.

There is no will to do good for another, except for that it benefits oneself emotionally ("spiritually") --or so we've been ... taught to believe.

>I'm a realist

If you have evidence for the existence of objective morals and ethics, by all means, please present it. I would be deeply impressed.

Just because one benefits from willing the good of others, does not mean that there is no willing the good of others. It just means that man is a social being who takes delight in the happiness of others.

>nigger meme
>this post

no wonder she left you