Comments on this?

Comments on this?

death is an unfortunate side effect of life and especially of living fully, for

when you live life fully, and by that i mean to its truest, courageous entirety,

that is when your death will become truly unfortunate.

there has never been a truly grand man who did not consider his own legacy beyond

death, for a man can not achieve greatness without preparing for his fame post-

passing. how can someone who is great spend so much time to consider and plan their

life, that they somehow forget to plan for the after? a lackadasial man will not

bother to plan for either.

Who wrote this garbage? Sounds like something an emo 13 year old girl would write after cutting herself.

p good, keep it up OP. made me think

Why did you post a picture of what I assume is yourself along with this garbage?
>useless punctuation
>shit structure
>content is meaningless

0/10

>uses the word 'truly' twice in two consecutive sentences

it's either bait or one of the worst post i've ever seen

Because he is a narcissist, isn't that obvious?

Thank you.

Sorry. I haven't slept for 41 hours. Looking for critique or insight.

when someone under 30 uses the word 'death' it sets off alarm bells my friend

Took you 41 hours to write this 104 word long drivel? wew

top fucking kek

i'll give you some insight.

Hahahaha Nigga Just Walk Away From The Screen Like Nigga Close Your Eyes Haha

I hope this is not a poem.

Any man can not think of non-existence, so he stretches his existence onto history and the future. A great man can even suceed in this effort, and live eternally in the span of his life. I see no problem with this.

OP you've heard the phrase "kill your darlings"? this is one of those times

A LACKADAISICAL MAN WILL NOT COMMENT TOO LONG CLICK HERE TO VIEW FULL TEXT

It was a thought I had that I wrote down.

What did I overuse? The world truly? I suppose I could fix that easily enough.

i mean to kill the whole thing, you fucking thick cunt. read it again in a month or two if you don't believe me

>death is an unfortunate side effect of life
>unfortunate
>side effect
Top shekel my spooked friend.

It would have been better if you ended it at the "truly unfortunate" part for good writing/thread discussion.

But then you had to drag it out like a yuppie,

And make spaces where there should be a paragraph,


You write faggishly

It's a pic from Veeky Forums

>death is an unfortunate

Dropped

You have the prose of a typical redditor

>death is an unfortunate side effect of life
So you'd rather live for ever? I'm already sick of life; death sounds bretty good tbqh.

OP this is some fucking great advice please learn from it

woah... 0_0

>hasn't slept for 41 hours

woah man you're like all tortured and stuff

repetitive nothing trying to be passed off as some kind of philosophical statement. You could condense everything you wrote down to a short sentence and it wouldn't lose any meaning.

Crawling in my skin, these wounds they will not heal; fear is how I fall, confusing what is real.

also if that's you in the picture you look like a faggot and an idiot

Somebody once told me that civilization was just entropy in drag. Or maybe I read it off a bumper sticker. I don't remember.

isnt this what they call "bathos"?

its a bunch of sentences, slightly related in subject matter that might be classified as sombre at a glance, but dont really form any meaningful or convincing conclusion

it sounds like you just wanted to write something 'deep' and didnt think very hard about anything, its like a longer version of "in this moment i am euphoric" etc

>g-guys am I giving off the deranged author vibe yet? Should I smoke more cigarettes? Or have a less healthy sleep schedule?

Use concrete details instead of abstractions. People don't cling to vague ideas like they do to real world events and anecdotes.

Don't try to be aloof. Being aloof is for 60 year old virgin wizards who think they have experienced life having never done more than bag groceries and complain their whole lives.

Don't try to make some master narrative out of poetry. In fact, 90% of the time master narratives flop because not everything can be explained away.

Don't just spout out cool sounding words or proverbial nonsense. Your words need weight, not faux emotion.

>Lackadasial man

brekek kekek kekek

If anything, death shows the absurdity of living fully, for those who live fully also die.

2/10

Lose weight, get rid of the shirt, REALLY get rid of the shoes. get rid of the pants, clean your fucking house, give up on writing or become a music reviewer or some shit

10000/10

CRAWLING IN MY SKIN THESE WOUNDS THEY WILL NOT HE-AL

Aalewis is that you?