So, I have been immersing myself in meaninglessness. I read the stranger by albert camus...

So, I have been immersing myself in meaninglessness. I read the stranger by albert camus, I picked up a large book on the dadaist movement from the local art museum that I have been reading. I've been trying to get into other authors, but I find neiztsche very difficult to read, as well as schopenhauer, and I'm ashamed to admit I found camus's essay sisyphus difficult to read too. I was thinking about reading some william s burroughs, but I also found that difficult to read, and naked lunch untouchable in terms of difficulty and incomprehensibility. I think I'm starting in the right places, I want nothing to mean anything and I hate being attached to meanings and words, they confine you. I just want to experience things on a primal level, but this reality is constantly dragging me back and reminding me that I'm nothing more than a slave.

What do I do lit? I think that I basically love the idea of reading, but I don't think that I really enjoy reading that much. I think that this is because of so many years of the internet. What I have noticed about the internet is that it's like a drug. Although I can write sentences and read pieces of text, my reading is to gather the information and then form my own response to it, but when I'm reading longer texts I often find myself overwhelmed because it's a sustained effort. I am so used to my mind shifting into multiple other pathways of distraction, it's hard for me to pick up a book and actually enjoy reading it. Instead it's a supreme exercise in attention span and focus.

(cont.)

Okay, so I'm actually not looking to detach my mind. I just said that because I was trying to put words to a concept inside my head which isn't really a concept. I actually think that I am just searching for something that gives me the confidence to live, and feel as though I have some grasp on how I am experiencing reality, or the inverse. I dunno. I don't mean that I want to die or something. Do you ever feel that the more words you attach to something the less meaning it has? That bottle of whisky right next to me is tantalizing. It's a beautiful jar of irish whisky, made of ceramic I think, or something. It's beautiful. The thought of swallowing it is tantalizing. I wouldn't really do that for no reason though, it's not like I crave it. I just imagine myself drinking it, but I know that all the pleasures in life are measured. At the risk of sounding like a pessimist, I just wanted to say that I'm not even sure I really know what pessimism means. You don't care, your probably an asshole. That's sort of what I've come to expect of people on this website. I've never really been able to relate to people. I relate to sun ra, and music, I don't listen to sun ra all the time, but they came up next in my music library on my computer. I relate more to throbbing gristle, not as if that would really pertain to you. I don't think that I'm really much of a human being in your eyes, but then again what is anyone in anyone's eyes? Did that sound horribly contrived? I did that on purpose, to fuck with you. You assume you know something just because you've made a superficial "conclusion". Consider this, a conclusion isn't a conclusion.

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What does it really mean to feel whole lit? Someone who's totally disconnected is just as whole as someone who isn't. It doesn't really matter what my senses come to, but in so realizing that it may lead me to feel a sort of emptiness. The brain searching for a chemical reaction in which it can tell itself again assuredly that there's sort sort of order. I know this notion is false and I reject it, I know that in life it's the pursuit of aesthetic that is what really drives someone to live. I wish I could say I heard that from some book, I'm probably not even describing in words that would be adequate what someone else before me has already tried to say, in fact I don't think I really know what I'm saying at all.

I degrade myself a lot but it's hard for me to tell in this life what isn't really worth degrading myself over for. I tried one time to reach the height of my consciousness, but people just told me that I was going crazy, they told me that I was crossing over into another place where I wasn't supposed to go. Okay they didn't really tell me that literally, but I was there and I felt that I was on the brink of something, but I think now a days I would chalk up the whole experience to the fact that I think I was just drinking too much coffee at the time. The same sort of fleeting experience may come to you, unappreciated, because really why should experiences be relegated, the ones that are truly worth appreciating, to being appreciated. I don't think that there's a whole lot of things that one may appreciate, because really to relegate what you should and shouldn't appreciate seems arbitrary. You may change what you appreciate depending on some arbitrary circumstance and become and optimist or a pessimist, it really makes no difference, it's all the same.

Faced with this absolute nothingness attached to meaning, I wish that I could somehow detach myself from meaning. I think that that's what I was trying to say earlier, is that I want to detach my mind from meaning because meaning robs things of their value. Once you know the meaning of something you've reached the end, to which there was no beginning.

literally stay mad faggot. I am only trying to express myself because there is nothing else I am able to do. your wacom is confusing my bubbles and I cannot forgo a total liver transplant to my analogous chimpanzee. You need to pick up a carton of yogurt and just take a bite. You need to drag your lip over the spoon and scrape off half the yogurt, while the rest of it is in the concave portion of the spoon. Do you know a good way of remembering the word concave? It's like, a cave, it goes inwards, convex is easy to remember because it's just the opposite of concave. I hope that I've helped you in some way good citizen. God bless, or should I say, niki niki sharazowa kawaseathy.

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this post has been left intentionally blank, besides these words.

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ADHD

Take stimulants and eat a dick this is tangentially related to literature

/vn/ was here

read with a pencil. or stop being a fucking idiot.

you gave me a laugh, thanks. how do I annotate?

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Sounds like you need moege in your life. I recommend Princess Evangile.

hahaha oh man. I raise my butt to you.

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hump

OP you're a genius. You should continue writing and get your stuff published. I'd read it for sure.

That's a gross butt.

You seem like a reasonably self-obsessed person. That's a good starting place. Are you what you want to be? If not, become that, become it until there is no one left you'd rather be. Forget what it feels like to regret or to want a life besides your own. It's not easy, but life is revolt, and all that shit. You already recognize your adversary.

You say you still feel like a slave. To what? Be specific when you think about it. If you are submitting to it and don't want to do so anymore, than cut it out, you don't need it. The cost for breaking from it might be high, it might cost every shred or pretense of normalcy, but you will know whether it's worth it. If it's not worth the cost, then withstand it, if only for now. Your current monotony and cycles don't have to be permanent.

Regarding your difficulty with sustained reading: get off the internet, don't spend more than 15 minutes on it at a time. Go outside, read in bright sunlight with your electronics off, work out more, particularly run, find more music you like, dig for it if you have to. Find a competitive outlet if you can. I don't expect you to think there's any point to it, but the meaning of victory is what you give it, no more no less, and it doesn't matter half a fuck whether it's arbitrary or not. You might like it.

>babby's first meaninglessness
try vonnegut.
bluebeard combines meaningless of art and meaningless general in one book, and it's high school reading level, tops.
sirens of titan or cat's cradle are also easy reading, but the first has aliens and the second one has a foot sex religion if you like either of those ideas more than aesthetics.

2bh if camus was hard for you, i'm afraid to put in the real babby's first meaninglessness and say lewis carroll.

dump

this is a strange thread.

danger and play is what women are and want [they want play = safe danger] and men want women, but only because women are the ultimate danger and play thing. This is nice, but you can reach a life beyond this.

once you understand that men are not meant to be as good hedonist as women, you first acknowledge the superiority of women at the hedonistic life (which is just called life by men and women) and you see the misery of hedonism, either the direct hedonism of the woman, or the nihilistic fantasy of the delayed hedonism [hedonism of the will] of the man [the one that men advocate for, the one about engaging yourself into challenges after challenges, seeking merit, pursuing your passions, in one word still clinging to entertainment (typically to attract women sooner or later) to better turn away from their impotency at the hedonistic life..] created by men once they get beat by women.
Once you see the game as well as the noneffective masculine life, you lose faith in hedonism. At this point, you either see the solution or not {Nietzsche did not see it, or rather he did not claim explicitly that he saw it]: you strive to do the exact opposite of hedonism (either the masculine one or the feminine one): first you stop being nihilistic, in accepting what you are (it is crucial to be sincere about the starting point], meaning a worm, and in stopping to analyze the past to get a better future (= the strategy of men, which remains inside hedonism (even though they claim that it is not, and in practice is is clearly not), but even more nihilistic than the feminine hedonism, once they are beaten by women] and in stopping to take what you desire, feel and think seriously [=the hedonism of the woman, and the fueling of this hedonism by men].

Women are wrong for having faith in what they desire, in thinking that this is relevant to ones life
they are a bit wrong to let men spend their life trying to serve women.

Men are wrong to try to play with women, which is just serving women
men are wrong, after being defeated, to be resentful towards women
men are wrong to think, after being defeated, that the solution is to be even more nihilistic than women in dwelling in hedonism of the will

The lack of efficacy of the masculine life leads to a narcissism (contrary to men), but without egotism (contrary to women), a more equanimous and benevolent stance towards what is desired, felt and thought. At this point, you stop looking at hedonism of the body [=the feminine hedonism], turn towards hedonism of the soul [what religious call it], spirit, consciousness [what buddhists call it] [=the hedonism of the mild ascetic, the hedonism that most men fail to see and the one that women love to think that they embody (women love to think that they are not as egotistic as they are, that they embody a humanist stance)] and then you understand that even this is doomed to be disappointing, so you refuse it until you stop caring about this one too.

Bump, i like you op

this hedonismposter is just one guy right

Good job on baiting so many

He's right, tho.

You are either a troll or you should really drop all that shit and start reading analytical philosophy. Even if you get obsessed with that, it won't be as bad as this drivel.

>analytical philosophy
I have no idea what this is.

going to meditate then go to sleep

read Marx, and discover that the phenomenon of "meaninglessness" is nothing but ideological closure, sealing off the ultimate horizon of all "meaning," namely the History of class struggle and violence, a plateau at which even the latter concept become suspect.

how can anyone seriously like The Stranger
>god isnt real and i dont have feelings!
it's literally fedora: the book

Was going to post 'Da Da Da Ich Lieb Dich Nicht' by Trio but then discovered that two of the band members died, one just last month.

I think that a vapid as fuck interpretation of the book, and your straw manning of everyone who reads it is baby tier.

it was literally about an autistic dude

ikr it's absurd, it's like they want to be unhappy queers
www.youtube.com/watch?v=SdbLqOXmJ04

Dude, fuck off. That's another stupid as fuck interpretation of the book. Idk what your problem is, but you're spewing toxic shit in my thread.

>using straw man as straw man
>not realizing just how fedora that is
user, pls.

>telling someone to fuck off on the internet
You must be new.

>old cancer v new cancer
i bet we all can't wait to see who wins

If you want happy nonsense OP, try Edward Lear or Lewis Carroll. It doesn't have to just be, nonsense and therefore we're fucked.

its not interpretation, nowhere did i give intepretation. I simply stated the book is about an autistic man, which it clearly is..

autism: a mental condition, present from early childhood, characterized by difficulty in communicating and forming relationships with other people and in using language and abstract concepts.

This fits Mersault to a T.

Now I'm not saying the book is hollow or giving any interpretation at all. Just describing a character.

If i wanted to read a first person book about an autistic id read pic related.

okay man, it's just I think your comment comes off as prejudice towards people with mental disabilities. I read the book and I got the sense that he is a person who lacks emotions, but I know particularly that autistic people don't lack emotions. Your view is just a shallow, immature Veeky Forums spew, typical of the kind of losers who shit post on this site. I have no problem with shit posting, but what you're doing isn't thought provoking or challenging, it's literally dumbing down this whole board. Would you please, just fuck off. I'm sick of you, I think you fucking suck. Stop posting in this thread.

Autists have a hard time expressing and dealing with emotions. You either have no experience with autistic people or you haven't read the book. Say Mersault was autistic, what's the problem with that? YOU seem to be the one prejudiced against autism by rejecting any possibility that maybe, just maybe, mersault was autistic. it's as if the very thought of him being autistic sickens you.

I was diagnosed with autism you fucking moron. Not autistic people are the same. Once again, your posts are an obvious troll attempt. You can't pick up on the fact that I think you're an annoying prick, so maybe you have autism, idk. Maybe you do know what autism is and you're just choosing to sound like a total idiot because you're bored or something. Actually, you are just trolling, that's exactly what you're doing, there's no doubt about that. Your purposefully pedantic and inflammatory, so please, just do me a favor and go kill yourself. One less ugly fatass autistic piece of shit on this planet, be sure to slash your ugly face open so they'll have to seal off the lid of your coffin. We wouldn't want anyone to have to look at your ugly face when you die, dip shit.

>Your
you're
self edit

>meaning robs things of their value. Once you know the meaning of something you've reached the end, to which there was no beginning

I find that meaning gives things value, even down to "everythings" (even every piece of trash) which is a problem in itself but I don't follow this thought exactly.

This is the clearest advice and some I enjoy

OK. you're the jam and let's talk. Your first thought and point is grand, but then you keep accounting for boredom or ennui or etc.

Why do I need a life beyond this, once I've established THE GAME why do I hate the noneffective masculine life? Hedonism has taken it's toll as entropy and time continue along an individual which makes them unavailable as an ideal candidate. So, once I am an ineffective male (read:: too old) I will need to move along within society

This "hedonism of the soul" seems to be a sexy way of saying domesticated couples activities or the dreadful feared alone elderly puttering about. Like all the retired Mr. Show Hitler's.

I have no grand soapbox advice but I like accepting meaninglessness, and I like dada without a crowd pistol. I don't do violins, ya dig?

N'schelle Norris says tell me 'smore

I'm just trying to have a discussion about The Stranger m8, no need to flame me. I do like how you brought the closed casket insult in, an obvious reference to Mersault not wishing to unscrew his mothers casket while at the funeral.

>I find neiztsche very difficult to read, as well as schopenhauer

Nietzsche I can understand, but Schopenhauer?

Were you recently subjected to a lobotomy? He's the most direct and readable of all the German thinkers.

I was reading the world as will and representation.

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schopen 'The Story of Philosophy' by Bryan Magee

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