Dumbass Reviews

Let's have a retarded review thread.

Go to Amazon or wherever and find the dumbest reviews for whatever book you please.

Pic related: in reference to Wind, Sand and Stars by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

Other urls found in this thread:

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Volta_(literature)#Importance_of_the_Volta
twitter.com/SFWRedditImages

Make one with a women next time, and say that it can only be women reviewers. then we can have a women hate thread

Was gonna start one of these threads myself. Will post a few.

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Jesus christ, what a terrible person

I swear to god, 'character development' is the biggest meme of all time.
Quite literally babby's first film critique.

This post makes Gene Wolfe seem like high literature.

gene wolfe definitely extends past genre fiction

Only review on amazon.ca for John Hakwes' "Adventures in the Alaskan Skin Trade"

Christ that made me angry and I haven't even read any Gene Wolfe

Hardly, and calling his prose flowery and beautiful is an obscene stretch.

a grandma, on Taipei

People hardly develop in real life, why would anyone criticize a work for being realistic?

>not a good sign
Indeed

Because they cannot into critical thinking.

fabulous

This review triggered me.

>James Joyce couldn't write a more incomprehensible or rambling novel.
heh

What the actual fuck? It's depressing to know that there are people out there that genuinely don't recognize beauty when they are exposed to it.

BOI DO I HAVE SOME NEWS 4 U

anyone have the Goodreads review where they ask for a "trigger-free" version of Metamorphoses? I saw it here last time but forgot to save it.

I like when people try to critique a book without even understanding it the smallest amount.

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That's not even a review, that's straight up a fucking book report, I recognize that shitty format that teachers teach, teachedly leaving with bumfucked paragraphs with no meaning.

lol wtf, I second this request

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Yep, I recognized that bullshit right away. why the fuck is it taught like that?

Real life as experienced by most people is boring as fuck.

Why must we have these threads. It's like how the Jews must always remind themselves of the Holocaust.

This one's very funny.

kek'd

once saw a legitimate 1 star review of Suttree that basically said she didn't like the audiobook because it still wasn't making sense to her. don't remember where this was though :C

this cant be real can it?

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>210 likes

>the M. Night Shamalyan of sonnets.

>Funspiracy against the Human Race.jpg

well i liked some parts of the book of the new sun and disliked others. especially he fails some of the insert stories, some are pretty, like that one which i quote below, but others are just so meh, like that one which is a mix of a borges' short story and the legend of minotaur or that one which is a mix of mowgli and the legend of romulus and remus

really, what indecipherable poetry she found there?

>Her hair was long, her limbs were white,
>And fair she was and free;
>And in the wind she went as light
>As leaf of linden-tree.

such indecipherable so wow; i bet if she read something like stevenson's "heather ale" she would be perplexed forever

at least she could feel sorry for his intended...

>It is said that as a man pushes his boat out over the shingle, the sound the bottom makes grating on the stones is my wife, my children, my children, my wife.

>He quotes Mark Twain
This triggers me more than it should

>Stop fucking telling me to breed!
The other reviews are clearly from idiots but this shit legitimately makes me mad

I thought like, the entire point of sonnets was the twist. Like, I remember reading some french ones for fun and they had twists too.

There was a time when people who wrote a lot actually had something to say, you can argue that the internet is a bad development when it comes to things like this

yep. the "volta"

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Volta_(literature)#Importance_of_the_Volta

>"X" is a Y written/composed/reported by Z..."
>"[Protagonist] does such, but [Antagonist] reacts to it.
>There are many different characters [...]. However, ---
>This story has many themes. One of the main themes [...]

I am speechless, this is some sort of plague.

This is the wrong generation speaking, how may I help you?

not a review of a book but someone talking about e-readers

>be in secondary high school (not an english country)
>enrolled into this school this very year
>have 2 hours to write a short essay that circled around the "600", a period we studied so using what we have done I can "conjecture" an educated opinion.
>nobody understood they had to work with what they knew to make up an opinion and instead talked about the period
>the Teacher had to correct the work on the basis of another kind of essay
Worth it.

>Mr. Math Expert
>doesn't understand Portrait
interesting

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Do how does one write a good review? I'm curious, because I'd like to write good/lit/erary reviews on good reads to help out my fellow Veeky Forumsizens.

I don't know about you guys but I always read the reviews you guys post there (my good reads friend list is entirely from Veeky Forums)

>Mark Twain said it right, "'Classic.' A book which people praise and don't (read that as "shouldn't") read."
>don't (read that as "shouldn't")

I didn't expect anything in this thread to make me mad, but this did

that plague is the american method of teaching literature.

I didn't have any good literature teachers in both south america and europe, so I guess that's a pandemia at this point.

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So funny.

Check out Orphans of Chaos on Goodreads.
It's almost seems like a feminist book club organized to destroy its reputation or something.
First 10 reviews are angry feminists ranting and it's beautiful.
I haven't read it, but this makes it so fucking appealing.