I honestly can't read fiction

Best book I read for my major was probably Dangling Man, by Saul Bellow. That or based King Lear.

Plug out your computer and throw your phone out through a window.

>Normal as in genuinely well-written and not overhyped stuff pretending to be more than what they actually are.

doesn't answer my question, state examples of stuff you enjoy and state examples of pretentious shit.

Faulkner's Lights in August for overhyped shit, Woolf's the Lighthouse, pretty much anything about "In yer face" theatre. Joyce was quite good, but definitely overrated.

For enjoyable I'd mostly recommend you books in my native language so I'll pass.

>pretty much anything about "In yer face" theatre
what kind of theatre is that? I seriously hope it doesn't include beckett :(
lit major ruined quite a lot of stuff for me too but sammy is p cool

you're retarded

i love gay sex but i feel like a fake because i don't suck any dick or want any interactions with a naked man

i love vegetables but i don't eat any greens or veggies ever but i tell my mom i did

Why do you hate Faulkner? Christ man, how can you have an English degree and hate the greatest American Author

Nope. Beckett is brilliant and I loved every bit of it.

I know how you feel OP. I'd only read one book before I started my degree, but i liked it so much that I decided to major in English at university. I didn't like the others I read as much, but I kept going, because that's the type of person I am, I always finish what I start.

The book that started me off was Russell Brand's "My Booky Wook."

>i cannot sit down and read a book from cover to cover, i don't have the attn. span

you've done this to yourself. spending all your time on the internet or on your phone constantly refreshing looking for constant sources of distraction has destroyed your ability to concentrate.

you probably don't have ADD.

you have to do two things:
1. block technology out of your life. siteblock Veeky Forums and everything else distracting, turn off your computer and phone, and go to a place that is not your home to read.
2. meditate. you will never be able to increase your attention span or strengthen your ability to think abstractly if you don't meditate. 20 minutes a day to begin, your goal should be 1 hour a day.

you are the child of the digital era, and you have turned your brain to soup by constant immersion in mediums that are designed to grab your attention only to diffuse it and weaken it. break the addiction.

>The only way to increase your attention span and abstract thinking is through meditation

Horse

Shit

>you've done this to yourself. spending all your time on the internet or on your phone constantly refreshing looking for constant sources of distraction has destroyed your ability to concentrate.

This is nonsense.

I also have the same problem the OP has and I suffered with it pre-internet.

Perhaps, you, have Add.

How to get into meditation? I am afraid it may be against my religion, and i hate all this trendy "self-development", mid-brow new age garbage

>I am afraid it may be against my religion

Hey OP, I have the opposite problem

I can read all the fiction in the world but I can't read 5 pages of nonfiction without falling asleep

It legitimately works. Google some studies on mindfulness and MBSR.

Mindfulness in Plain English is a fine intro.

>Grammar never once even ever.

>I am afraid it may be against my religion

>2016
>Still being controlled by fear through religion.

I feel you op. I have anxiety and its hard for me to read without having terrible intrusive thoughts. Nowadays I can only read non fiction well.

An english major asking how to read.

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahhahahahahahahahahaaahahhaha you little bitch