Are there Hegel fanfics?

Are there Hegel fanfics?

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A man who finds himself needing to specify this has done something wrong with his life.

To be fair, what he says before and after that makes sense.

"Amy: If you were to watch a documentary about a philosopher – Heidegger, or Kant, or Hegel – what would you like to see in it?
Derrida: Their sex lives.
Pourquoi? I’d love to hear about something they refuse to talk about. Why do these philosophers present themselves asexually in their work? Why have they erased their private lives from their work or never talked about anything personal? There is nothing more important in their private life than love. I’m not talking about making a porno film about Hegel or Heidegger. I want them to speak about the part that love plays in their lives."

Das Kapital.

ma nigga

...

I want a story not a novel length prose poem.

Guess I'll have to write it myself.

Or something incredibly right.

Kierkegaard sort of does this even though he decides to be celibate.

Hegel was so excited. Even though he was 52, he had been invited to the most prestigious school for magicians - Hogwarts. He had already bought his wand and robe, and stood admiring them in a full length mirror, imagining sleek muscles rippled beneath them. Oh, how they would, soon.

Cont.?

Ueber die Universitäts-Philosophie

"Magic!" he thought. "Magic is truly absolute idealism."

But something was worrying him. Magic was *too* absolute. He couldn't find an inherant contradiction. Would the new teachinga he was about to recieve destroy his beautiful system?

He stopped his worries for the time being, stretched his legs, and moved towards the bus station.

Please continue. I'm having a good laugh.

archiveofourown.org/tags/Philosophy RPF/works

this is the closest you will find

This is exciting. Will Hegel encounter the Absolute Spirit on horseback?

What house would he be sorted into?

Ravenclaw or Slytherin.

This is hilarious.

...

That's good.

...

Now, this is a story all about how
My head got flipped-turned upside down
And I'd like to take a minute
Just sit right there
I'll tell you how I inspired some neckbeard and and revolutions everywhere

>stretched his legs
Lol

"Did you find the supreme philosophical truth today son?"
"No dad."
"You'll keep trying though?"
"Yes dad."
"That's the spirit."
"By Kant! That's it!"

Someone please continue it.

Did he talk about his sex life?

underrated

someone post the excerpt on rowling

Who would be on top?

All of philosophy after him

Tbf, Hegel seemed like the biggest autist of human history.

>biggest autist
>continental not analytic

Did he even speak in dialect?

Uh oh yeah
Oh suck it
Oh fuck you
Oh Shelling

Oh this is why they call you two dope ain't it
Oh fuck you
Oh take it out take it out
Oh now give something to Fichte

Oh violent Fichte
Wait don't bite it
Don't be violent with it now just suck it
Nice and slow yeah

Oh oh fuck yeah
You got oh
Now give it back to Shelling
He was sucking it better
Oh now say my name (Hegel)

Say my name (Hegel)

What?
Oh fuck you guys
Give me my dick back
Fuck you guys

If you want Hegel you can have Hegel
Fuck you guys I'm leaving

(Arthur no!)
(Arthur wait, oh damn)
(Nice going Shelling)

I'm thinking of writing a slashfic with him. What fetishes do you think he had?

So does that mean Ayn Rand is better because she talked about her sex life and sexuality with her work?

Yes.

>

I guess there's some mystical connection between schoppy and rap that people are picking up on.

Huh, interesting.

''Love, friendship, respect, admiration are the emotional response of one man to the virtues of another, the spiritual payment given in exchange for the personal, selfish pleasure which one man derives from the virtues of another man’s character. Only a brute or a collectivist would claim that the appreciation of another person’s virtues is an act of selflessness, that as far as one’s own selfish interest and pleasure are concerned, it makes no difference whether one deals with a genius or a fool, whether one meets a hero or a thug, whether one marries an ideal woman or a slut.''

I wonder what Hegel says about love other than it being completely irrational.

dialecticbump

Bumping for a new thesis

Everything by Zizek

I play negate attack.

Is any of it slashfic?

Slavoj sat back in his plush red gucci armchair and took a big fat drag, letting the intoxicating fumes from the dank kush fill his mindspace with fleeting images of only the purest ideology. He'd been engaging in this sort of intellectual masturbation for a few years now: building up ideology into the enemy to be defeated, a taboo, only to make his playing with it more sensual. Verboten. The fruit that must not be eaten but whose juice is so sweet. Toying with the idea of becoming an Episcopalian was bouncier than the freshest tits on a drunk girl on spring break in Cancun.

But today his dreams took him elsewhere, images of dicks filled his mind. He dreamt deeply of a solid if not particularly fantastic peener, about 5.3 inches long and a bit skinny, uncut, and adorned with a wreath of wiry grey hairs.

"You like what you see, don't you."

Slavoj startled and peered into the upper branches of the woodland of his subconscious, and saw Hegel himself, naked, prick and mantits hanging in the gentle breeze. The image was purely asexual, which excited Slavoj even further. His diamond hardness pressed against his trousers with enough force to mount a steed.

"Hegel, *sniff*, what are you doing here? I banished you to the netherrealms of my mind years ago."

"Yes, but I have returned. You should know that nothing in the mind is permanent. Allow me to demonstrate what the power of the mind can achieve!"

Hegel's penis started to grow at an alarming rate, upwards of 20 feet long in length, undulating like a serpent in response to a snake charmer's call. "My marvelous manhood will show you the way. For in my nonexistent state as a figment of your imagination, I have become an ideology myself. Strangle yourself with my penis Slavoj, and let yourself be taken under the waves of the ocean of peace."

Hegel's dick wrapped around Zizek, ensnaring him like a spider captures its prey. Soon all that was left uncovered by his penis cocoon was Slavoj's head.

"Now embrace the ideology that is absolute idealism, and let me rock your world."

As the penis cocoon began to vibrate rapidly, Zizek had a full-body orgasm. Cum erupted from all of his orifices like a faucet, and his mind was shown images of only the purest dichotomies. Soon he was spent, and his body was as flat and empty as a drained wineskin. "Now I will fill you, dear Slavoj, with my own ideas." Hegel stuck the end of his pecker right into Zizek's mouth, and began to fill his empty with cum body like a hose, as Slavoj started to inflate with all the Hegel-sperm.

"Mein Gott, I can see to infinity!"

Both of them reached the purest of climaxes simultaneously.

Slavoj woke up several hours later back in his armchair, finding himself with his pants down and his shirt covered with crusty dried semen.

...But was it his own?

~fin~

>user will never be nominated for the nobel for this
Fuck this world.