If I upload my 500k word memoir to wikipedia despite having achieved nothing that would otherwise warrant such a page /...

>My mother is a regular contributor
That explains you.

Have you considered doing something notable?
Not only will it justify the existence of a wiki article on you but it'll also make it more interesting.

Post it on a blogging site and then an hero after shooting up a school

It'll be infamous in no time and your legacy will live on

What kind of references can I use to verify my account? For example, if I link my page to my old highschool and list myself as a "Notable Former Pupil" surely that will create the necessary link?

Huh?

I have already done something notable simply because of the way I have chosen to live my life, that is according to strict principles and with my thoughts and disposition dictated by the guiding light of purity and virtue. "Success" as it is commonly discussed is not something I have a great deal of time for, as it usually simply means that someone has briefly (and for whatever reasons) gained the attention of their fellows.

I don't really want to do that I'm afraid. I'm no longer in highschool either so it will would not be justified in any sense, much like the Adam Lanza incident.

I wonder who writes those blurbs on Wikipedia for modern scientists no one has ever heard about.

No, they will not let you post the autistic ravings of a frogposter as a page, for the same reason they will not allow someone to make a page out of a haiku they wrote or their shopping list.
Graduating from high school doesn't exactly put you in such a prestigious light that they would allow the page, and to claim yourself as a "notable" former pupil would be a lie.

The same people who write the wikipedia entries for osbcure authors who have just published their first book including a biography, appealing photograph and so on.

I have not been diagnosed with autism and my work in no way can be described as a form of "raving". If anything my writing possesses a Stoner-like stoicism, a poignancy unrivaled by contemporary writers, a subtlety of expression which can only be described as "Hemingway-inspired". But then again I don't rely on short, terse sentences and superficial descriptions, in many ways my writing resembles that of individuals such as Thomas Wolfe, David Foster Wallace and Henry James to mention just three. And my referencing myself as a notable former pupil is not only accurate as thins currently stand, but is also a pre-emptive description seeing as my work itself will earn me notability as it is commonly defined.

Millennials and their sense of self-importance. You can still make a blog and post it there, the result will be the same: Nobody will read it, because nobody cares about your story.

Publish it as a book, and claim the hyperlinks are a contemporary writing invention

Whether anybody [i] currently [/i] I realize italics aren't a feature but really the point is worth emphasizing interested or even aware of my story is several leagues beside the point. The fact is once my story is revealed to the world and once I have officially made my literary debut upon its publication (on wikipedia or elsewhere) I am beyond certain that I will at last attain the attention and fame that both I and my mother believe is destined for me.

www.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Notability_(people)

As someone with actual literary talent, I look forward to the day when I will be recognized so I can go on Veeky Forums and pretend I was you the whole time.

I have already received 27 rejections from agents and publishers themselves and I refuse to allow my ego to be battered any more by these callous brutes. If I can't convince the traditional publishing houses to see the value in my work then I have no choice but to appeal directly to the People.

Thank you for this link.

Having read this article it seems the only way I can go about creating a wikipedia page and having a valid reason to do so is by developing what the page you linked described as a "cult following". It may be the case that I will have to create dozens of fake emails and develop some sort of fake "hype" campaign in, possibly even "memes" and macro images, so that it appears as though I do indeed have a large "following", even a "fanclub" of sorts who support me. I already have at least 20 emails from years ago when I emailed obscure religious television programs in an attempt to make them read out rude words or euphemisms without understanding that they were, but since my "atheist" phase has all but passed I no longer use these emails for this purpose and regret having done so previously. Now I guess I can use them for a productive purpose at least. This however seems to me as though it will be a long and no-doubt arduous process, and one I would obviously rather avoid. But the number of alternatives have depleted to the point where I have seriously considered printing my work out on A4 paper and tossing it from a building at the centre of the city during rush hour, though my research into this idea revealed to me that such a thing is punishable by law for inciting a riot. Grave days indeed.

Strap in, folks, it's another memoirfag thread.

Anyway, you might not realize this if you've been on the internet for less than a decade, but people used to have these things called personal websites where they uploaded whatever they wanted to. You can technically still make a personal website even though no one does anymore, so I would recommend that route instead of vandalizing wikipedia.

send it to me OP. i'll put it wherever you want it. i have dozens of IPs I can use.

if you don't, you didn't write shit and are just doing this for attention and should go back to

Publish it yourself

You are either trolling ("If anything my writing possesses a Stoner-like stoicism, a poignancy unrivaled by contemporary writers, a subtlety of expression[...]" sounds absolutely ridiculous for a normal human being) or extremely delusional and stupid. I pity you in any case.
And no, wikipedia won't accept your shitty bio. Post it on your blog and stop annoying other people.

Finnish cheese making methods and cypriot parlance can actually be useful to some people. Your boring life can't.

>are the moderators likely to ban me or remove the page?
yes

if you put it on a self-publishing site, I'll buy it

Post some of your rejection letters please

based memoir-chan

>
castrate yourself

lmao

Op, my suggestion is to kill a few people first to gather infamy. Make sure the body count is 50+ to top the recent massacre and then post the memoir. But to be truly immortalized you need to die first. I would like to suggest suicide by cop. In case they bust your knee cap instead of killing you maybe you can wear a bomb vest or something for 100% death rate

Seconded

Seconded
I second this motion also

Why not make your own wiki? They are free and you get to moderate it yourself.

So is memoire for real or is this just an elaborate joke? I've seen him around here several times but it's hard to tell if he's just really devoted to this one gimmick or if he really means all this shit.

It's self-ironic sincerity. As a top-class shitposter i know all about it. He's basically serious but is self-aware about his seriousness and thus mocks himself, while at the same time expressing (in exaggeration) what he genuinely believes.

*drinks sugared tea*

Publish it on Veeky Forums. If you do that and just keep on being you, it'll get a spot on encyclopedia dramatica.

Was just thinking about this. I prefer to take it as the work of a talented humorist roleplaying with the narrator from his future classic novel

stop responding to this fucking thread. OP made it up. at least sage it.

This guy gets it. This kind of insight can only come from someone with a top tier (You) ratio.

thirding this

>develop some sort of fake "hype" campaign in, possibly even "memes" and macro images
Please, please do

>are the moderators likely to ban me or remove the page?
both, hopefully.

I love you.

autism

So that's what I was doing all this time.

My heart is saddened that this isn't real. But either way this character is the long-promised descendant of Ignatius J Reilly for the internet age.

God, you're just the most. Fuck, guy. Just end it already. You're riding the spectrum hard.

For the good of all of us, he better at least publish his memoir first

Okay guys OP here I've thought this through and I'm going to need all of my supporters (you know who you are!) to begin making memes, image macros, encyclopedia dramatic articles and literally anything else you can so that there's some evidence I have a "cult following". I've asked my mother about her use of wikipedia but it's largely confined to B-movies from the 1960s though she did explain something about the editing policy and what-not. But seriously we need to get a campaign going if I'm ever going to make it onto wikipedia. That is now my short-term goal, the long-term goal being to create an actual wikipedia page which includes my 500k memoir including hyperlinks and so on. It really is a groundbreaking concept and one that will undoubtedly earn me the kind of attention and notoriety I yearn to achieve. I'm going to need people to start posting threads about me several times each day and bump each one demanding new content and informing others about me. In time I will have created something of a "bot net" of Veeky Forums users who will serve as the vanguard in my attempt to breach wikipedia's rather strict entrance policy and establish myself as both a "meme" and a leading light in contemporary literary fiction. I'm going to be honest in saying that I can already foresee interviews with Jimmy Wales in which he will briefly make reference to "that crazy kid who published [his] memoir on the site" and how this caused him to realize the true potential of wikipedia as both a source of objective information and also an archive of subjective expression. This is going to be big you guys, I guarantee it. But I really am going to need anybody who is interested in this movement to spam threads every day as often as possible, using alternative IPs if necessary, to make sure I remain relevant for as long as possible, at least until my memoir makes its debut. Tips and suggestions just send them my way. I will be browsing this thread for the next 15 minutes and for several hours tomorrow God willing. Let's do this.

1: No.

2: You can't be referenced to without some kind of name, dingbat

3: No

we need some pictures of you for this purpose and as much personal information as possible.

holy shit

For the moment I will have to adopt a moniker of sorts (Memoirfag seems a rather popular means of referring to me but this will obviously fall foul of Wikipedia's editorial staff) before I finally publish my legal name. I must say right now that I am a profoundly mysterious individual and that at least two girls have described me in a way which supports this statement (one described me as a "dark horse" and a female co-worker said "I literally know nothing about you" in a way that was not meant only as a subtly expressed insult) and so at first I must tantalise and titillate potential readers and prove to them that I am not writing simply to appeal to them and desperately beg for their money and attention, but that my genius exists independently of their demands to read my work and my own assumptions as to the way it will be perceived. Much like an Outsider artist I will gain both credibility and a sort of culturally-peripheral validation due to my insistence on doing things in a way that is essentially my own. My only worry is that wikipedia will quickly remove my page and ban me for good, which is why I must nurture a "movement" of sorts (real or artificial) in order to reinforce the fact that I meet Wikipedia's criteria for a potential page addition (i.e. that there is in fact a "cult following" associated with my work and indeed my persona).

Maybe you should try uploading you memoirs somewhere first, so the "cult following" is warranted...

For the moment I will have to operate behind a veil of mysteriousness and "secrecy" if only to establish an "aesthetic" as a private, sensitive genius figure who is writing not for reward or financial gain or to impress college-aged females of a certain disposition and physical appearance but to communicate something that is pure and honest and what is described in modern literary discourse as "sincere". Just look at the twitter accounts of individuals like So Sad Today and others. So much attention has been granted to them based largely on the mysterious identity of the individual operating the twitter profile. It is clearly necessary that I myself must forego immediate fame and attention in order to finally emerge, like a young blushing belle of the Old South, down the metaphorical stairwell to be welcomed on her social "debut" by the crowd of partygoers waiting eagerly below. As for photographs I already have 176 photographs already scanned and uploaded onto imgur ready to be hyperlinked in my text, though I have no photographs of myself taken in the past three or four years, but I have asked my mother to take some of me this weekend and she agreed to help me out, which is just great.

>tantalise and titillate potential readers
You could do that by uploading more than Veeky Forums post-sized parts of your "500k memoir", guerrilla marketing genius.

I am intending to upload them somewhere, which is why I am trying to find a way past Wikipedia's policies on valid and invalid page submissions.

It would undermine the work as a whole were I to post a random 1,000 word excerpt with the expectation that any but a few particularly observant readers would be able to grasp my talent and the potential of the work itself within that excerpt. No. It must be uploaded in whole. Would posting an excerpt from Proust result in anything but ridicule and casual dismissal? I have posted excerpts from notable novels on Veeky Forums before pretending they were my own and they received either no attention or the kind of lukewarm reaction I would except were an excerpt from a mediocre novel published here.

How can anyone make a meme knowing basically nothing about the memoir? Does it at least have a title?

It does have a title though it counts as part of the work itself and I don't think it would be wise to allow any aspect of said work to be open to ridicule at this point. Whatever I post as a title it will undoubtedly be ridiculed and dismissed as below-par and so on. I must admit that I am envious of Knausgaard calling his own work "Mein Kampf", a truly genius move. I did briefly considering calling my own work "*My* Struggle" (My in italics) but quickly realized it would be a poor decision. I have settled on a title but again only the keenest of minds would at this stage be capable of appreciating it.

i wish hiro would take bribes so i could permaban everyone above me

But that's exactly my point. You can upload the memoirs anywhere, not necessarily on Wikipedia. In fact, Wikipedia's entry on you or your memoirs would be a natural subsequence of your submission.

>Would posting an excerpt from Proust result in anything but ridicule and casual dismissal?
Yes.

I don't want a wikipedia entry on my memoir, I want my memoir to be the entry itself. Perhaps I haven't explained this very well. My intention is to create a wikipedia page with the title of my memoir as the title / header and then my memoir pasted below (and formatted as to be "appealing to the eye") with relevant words (etc.) hyperlinked either to photographs on imgur, or other wikipedia pages or other webpages (including the archives of several Veeky Forums boards once I reach the stage at which I explain my first coming to Veeky Forums and my subsequent usage of its various boards, with relevant historical posts or particular threads which are memorable and meaningful to me). The page will obviously be very long (in terms of scroll-time) which is why I suspect the moderators are likely to do as Veeky Forums moderators have over the years and simply ban me rather than make the effort to understand and accept my reasoning.

I really hope this is trolling and I'm not lmao at someone's real disorder.

OP here. This is my last post for the next 9 hours as I promised to allow my mother to use the computer after me. If this thread is alive at that point I will answer any questions anyone may have. Thank you all for your continued encouragement and support.

This is my story; my story of how one marvelous day I posted in OP's memoir thread, only to promote my own memoir. This, naturally would cause all of their followers and fans to gravitate towards my work. Dear Ladies and Gentlemen, I am an even more mysterious writer than the latter, and I demand all of these conditions and more. There must be memes every day of me on this board in order to build my presence. However, these memes will not just be memes. They must be Frog memes. These memes should allude to my Loop-motif, which is actually quite recursively redundant.

Well that isn't what wikipedia is made for at all. There isn't a single post on there which is like that, and there never will be.

Try hosting your work on your own website. Create your own wiki. Try self-publishing. Anything besides what you are planning on doing makes sense.

I'm having fun just imagining a 500,000 word wikipedia article

What are some of your favorite books, movies, musics?

Bait

I hadn't seen you before around here but now I like you as hell.

Be my mate, sugarboy.

bump

Hi, I'm an easily swayed shitposter with free time. As your target audience, I feel you'd benefit from my insight. I'd like to give you a copy of my book, it's a memoir, so that you'll know me better and be able to get me to spread your name. If you could just spare a few hours a day to spread my name and memes about me I'm sure we could get me a sort of "cult-following" if you will, and quickly gain the sort of recognition that would let me build your presence.

I have to warn you, I'm a bit mysterious ;D

Translate it to a language almost no obe uses and it will remain on wikipedia forever

I know you're baiting but this post made me smile and chuckle, so have a (You)

OP here. I have returned. I will admit one thing, there is no title to this work. The title will simply be my name in full (including my middle name). I feel there is little point in thinking up some clever and interesting title if the work is to appear on wikipedia as a page dedicated to my life. Perhaps when the publishers have concluded their bidding war to publish my memoir in physical form I will think of a title then (or choose one of the many I considered previous to my decision to publish my work on wikipedia) but until then it will simply be my name, which is thankfully rather unique, or uncommon enough not to leave me unseen and overlooked on the seventh page of google results. I will structure my memoir according to the format preferred by wikipedia, which will mean separating my life into various parts ("Early Life" etc) and I believe this will help sway the opinion of the moderators somewhat and help convince them to leave the page as it is.

Just put it up on pastebin and another user will put it up

You still need to give us enough to meme magic you into the public consciousness. Pictures, name, preferably a link to the place you post your story, &tc

Just post Skype so that we can actually organize this

It's not the "putting it up" that's the problem here, it's the fact that having created a wikipedia page and spent a great deal of time formatting it correctly in a way that would allow potential readers to read it in a way that is appealing to them, the moderators are likely not only to remove my page but also blacklist me from the website, meaning that I will not be able to attempt to upload it again and that my mother, who has been a regular contributor to the site for more than three years at this point, may also be banned as we share the same computer and IP address.

Going off of this:
OP is clearly an autist, but a driven one, who is entertaining to read about. What if his memoir is accidentally a really entertaining read, like his posts?

What's your sexual orientation?

Yeah, but that problem isn't there when someone else, with a different IP uploads it to wikipedia

I haven't used skype for many years, since the time I talked with a girl from Charlottesville, Virginia who posted her skype address in a thread on Veeky Forums but who was entirely disinterested in having a conversation in which both participants are equally interested in each other. She talked at great length about the private Catholic all-girls school she attended and about the Harry Potter fanfiction she was writing (which had received over 300,000 views and many hundreds of comments) but showed very little genuine interest in learning anything about my own life, which eventually became so frustrating that I simply blocked her and removed my account. I also briefly spoke to a half-Jamaican girl who lived in Canada and worked at a restaurant named The Chelsea but there was little in common between us and I eventually stopped attempting to make conversation. I am also averse to placing my physical appearance on display at the present time, partly because I have a Kafkaesque (this word used here in a way that refers not to Kafka's work but his personality) conviction that I am physically (and perhaps "existentially") repulsive and I am a very private individual despite the fact I have written a memoir detailing aspects of my life that would are considered embarrassing, shameful, pathetic and so on.

I am fundamentally heterosexual.

no perhaps, you are definitely existentially repulsive

Ah, a closeted gay

True, though if the moderators simply ban the work without considering the IP address they are likely to ban it each subsequent time it is submitted, perhaps simply assuming that it was me both times. The moderators on Veeky Forums have in the past ban me for three days for "spamming" while I was using one IP address, and then perma-banned me a few days later while I posted the same thread albeit using a different IP address, obviously assuming it was the same person without even checking the IP address.

1. The Pizza Delivery Strategy: 2. The Self-Publishing Strategy: although an admittedly desperate act, this would involve demanding as many financial loans as possible for as much money as I can, ordering as many copies as possible of my novel form lulu or another printing company, and then distributing these books en masse to select demographics (editors, respected writers, etc.) with a brief note explaining my background and the ambitions. I will then be forced to "disappear", potentially across the border, until the time comes when my memoir is published and the money I make from it is sufficient to pay back those loan companies who would have requested a warrant for my arrest etc.

3. The Kris Kristofferson Strategy: the famous country singer and actor Kris Kristofferson struggled to find anybody willing to read the numerous songs he had written during his time in Nashville. As a trained helicopter pilot he therefore flew a helicopter and landed it in the garden of Johnny Cash, demanding that the more famous singer consider his work. This plan obviously succeeded and Mr. Kristofferson soon became a household name. Lacking a helicopter licence or a driver's licence, my own version of this plan would involve my mother driving me around the country to the homes of writers I respect and waiting nearby while I knock their doors with a copy of my manuscript, or otherwise pushing my manuscript (gradually, considering the bulk and amount of pages) through the letterbox of each home.

4. The Subversive Advertising Strategy: similar to Strategy #2, this strategy would involve printing my own books and then advertising them by leaving them in several popular bookstores in a way that will not draw attention to my doing so and may very well lead to an Influential Shopper (i.e. someone within the publishing world, or perhaps an actor etc.) to appreciate my enthusiasm and creativity and ask the salesperson who this author is and how much the book costs. On being informed that the book is not in fact part of their stock, the Influential Shopper will then take it upon themselves to find out who this elusive, mysterious writer is and why they have not attained the fame they (I) deserve based on the quality of this intriguing, stimulating book.

5. The Henry Darger Strategy: by the far the simplest and most realistic strategy, this will involve living a life of loneliness and destitution, patiently if bitterly awaiting my death in the hope that my work will be "discovered" by a landlord or some distant relative somehow informed of my death, who would then, like the landlord of Henry Darger, feel compelled to find a publisher for my work, with the story of my mysterious life allowing the publishers to describe me as an Outsider artists, too pure to be appreciated in his own time.

Have to say, I was dubious at first of the OP's intentions but after reading the entire thread I've come to the conclusion he's an earnest, sensitive individual with immense literary potential. It's about time Veeky Forums has received the kind of attention it deserves.

But how is that a problem if you never submitted itself to begin with?