Tfw Veeky Forums has completely ruined your attention span

>tfw Veeky Forums has completely ruined your attention span
>tfw you will never live the literary lifestyle

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I have the same problem. is there a

no there's no

>tfw time travel to the 1920s is literally impossible
>tfw you will never live the literary lifestyle

>tfw living the literary lifestyle right now

Yes there is.
One hour a day for PC.
And the rest of free time for reading.

Describe it for us.

Just start reading something easy (think highschool lit) and work your way up from there.

I'm 19 years old.

I am handsome, smart, athletic and virile.

I have a novel that is in it's final editing stage, and a creative writing professor at my college has read the first draft and thinks it's saleable.

I have a girlfriend who is confident, articulate, playful and spontaneous.

I have a small group of interesting friends from different social and academic backgrounds, and I also have many other acquaintances who see me as a reliable source of humour and good company.

Both my parents are alive and in good health.

I have no regrets.

I have already experienced three existential crises, the latter of which was described as having the depth and profundity of a man twice my age.

I am a passionate lover, a sharp thinker, and a trader of witty repartee.

I am not self-pitying, meek or needlessly humble.

I will live a good life at your expense.

I went to Oxford, and I literally can't express how much better my life has been since I attended Oxford. I went to a state school and gradually became the stereotypical moody, withdrawn sensitive type who both despises the quality of his immediate culture and feels a weird pride for having been raised in a sort of anti-intellectual and brutal environment. I was all set to take my Russell Group humanities BA and spend my life working as an anonymous, insecure wageslave forever thankful of being offered a job and forever too insecure to pursue my creative ambitions. The chip on my shoulder had become something of a wedge, and I felt too out of place regardless of my environment, too resentful and bitter to even attempt to make it in the artistic world. Then I finally applied for Oxford and got in to study an English MA, with reassurance that should I work hard enough a career in academia or within one of Oxford's affiliated companies would be almost guaranteed. I turned up as apprehensive as usual, and the first few days were spent regretting my decision and desperately feigning a cultured personality. But then I realized that the people there were just interesting and that the snobbery and exclusivity I had anticipated was just a myth borne out of my working class upbringing. I've since graduated, having spend the year dining in grand halls with groups of interesting people, dating several girls (one of whom, a petite Russian whose family traces back to the aristocracy, is now my fiancee). I work four days a week at a publishing company and earn £38k a year. I regularly meet up with friends from my college and visit Oxford for nights out and for meetings with my professors. The Martin Eden-esque novel I have been writing for two years has been selected for publication at a major British publishing house and, honestly, I could not have imagined a few years ago how great life could be. I come on Veeky Forums and see how pathetic you all are and just shake my head and chuckle. If I saw you guys on the street I would of course throw you a penny or discuss Bukowski or whatever "realist" writers you enjoy, but ultimately I would be able to tell within ten seconds if you're an Oxbridge grad and would dismiss you as a potential source of good company if you are not. I never thought I'd know what it was like to be objectively better than somebody else, for the value of my existence to be superior to the value of a stranger's, but now I do and I've never been happier. People are awed by power and prestige. All I need to do is mention the university I attended (if only for a year) and they immediately begin to hunch and look at their feet because they know they are in the presence of greatness.

>not 6'2"
>Not Asian American
>Not going to Princeton University
>Never the valedictorian of your high school
>Not being named Henry
Not gonna make it

i'm all of these things

I wish I would remember where this pasta is from. I remember the origin thread being so shit that this one could not hold a toilet scrubber to it.

warosu.org/lit/thread/S4280483#p4281338
warosu.org/lit/thread/S4305660
warosu.org/lit/thread/S4305809

go and live in the woods like thoreau

all you need is an ereader and a solar panel backpack

Don't blame this place for you being a piece of shit, you piece of shit. You would be a piece of shit without it just as you are a piece of shit with it.

Eat dirt ya jabroni

>I am a passionate lover, a sharp thinker, and a trader of witty repartee.

I loled when I got to this line.

ewe dew real a eyes that dank memes are the literature of today right?

people reading hemingway in the interbellum didn't whine about not having the stomach for chaucer either

>I have already experienced three existential crises, the latter of which was described as having the depth and profundity of a man twice my age.

This is too much for me

Literally me:
Intelligent, nihilistic and with a wicked sense of humor

You're posting on Veeky Forums dude.

>girlfriend

KEKED
U
C
K
E
D

I love this pasta btw thanks for reminding me of it

Sit down and read a book from start to finish. Then repeat with a different book. Then repeat even more with other books. Wow you have a better attention span now.

>try reading book
>suddenly start thinking suicidal thoughts
>comprehend nothing

now i have to autistically write notes for every book i read

Hey man have you heard of this website?
w w w . a u d i b l e . c o m
You get a free month so just check it out
w w w . a u d i b l e . c o m

Is this a new pasta?

The internet in general is pretty toxic. I used to have a thing on my computer that would block everything inessential but I removed it when I met this cool girl from Switzerland and we'd chat on Skype and Twitter and stuff all the time. I wish it had never happened because now I know how to remove the blocking software so it's useless to me and I don't have any self-control to substitute for it. I'd write for hours every morning and now I just dick around on here, Twitter, Reddit, etc. I miss writing.

>Tfw walk on the treadmill 4 times a day
>Tfw set the timer to 20-60 min
>Tfw pop in my headphones and listen to down tempo chillwave
>Tfw I crack open my book and read while walking
>Tfw read 1 1/3 to 4 hours a day just on the treadmill
>Tfw later in the evening I tell random-ass people on the internet how amazing my routine is

Life is good

>tfw spend all day drinking coffee and reading books and avoiding socializing with people
>tfw easily spend 3-4 hour blocks reading even the most dry nonfiction
>tfw come home and shitpost in every single ancient history thread I can find

feels bretty gud

>treadmill
Why do you do this? Are you a hamster?

>snobbery and exclusivity I had anticipated was just a myth borne out of my working class upbringing
>ultimately I would be able to tell within ten seconds if you're an Oxbridge grad and would dismiss you as a potential source of good company
shit lit

>new

I battled my computer dependence or autopilot mode by writing a list of things I intended to do before I actually turn on my computer. I do these things, then turn it off. OP you should read "The Shallows" by Nicholas Carr.

>walk
>treadmill

That sounds awful I don't understand why people do it. Go run. Outside.

>you'll get square eyea watching all that television

I tried that once. A group of teenagers drove by, threw bottles at me, and called me a faggot.

you spend 4 hours a day on a tredmill? Seems like you're living the anorexic life

That's pretty effay though.

...

how do we fix ourselves?

How do you discipline yourself for this

he's already gone, user. Reading away.

why do people get mad at pastas

The post was two days ago, so maybe he'll be back soon.

Seriously though, does anyone have advice on how to obtain the type of discipline? Sometimes I feel like the internet and the constant feeling of need for stimuli from the internet Is addicting for myself.

I always notice that when my computer is broken, or when I don't have access to the internet I'm far more productive and I actually end up reading, writing, drawing, and doing the important things in life that need to be done.

In general, I end up not doing these things and distract myself online

why bother?

There is a reason why discipline is alluded to as "tempering" yourself. Self-control is friction. It's a muscle. You either do it, slowly, progressively increasing the force exerted, or atrophy. That is will power.

You literally cannot be more than one of those sentences at the same time.

>replying to pasta this old

Hahahahahahahaha How The Fuck Is Veeky Forums ruining your attention span Real Hahahaha Nigga Just Walk Away From The Screen Like Nigga Close Your Eyes Haha

Ant piblic libraries where you live? In recent 2 weeks i got into "1hour writing every day" routine just by going to library, writing at tablet that is there and sending directly to my email. Peoples there watching what you doing is not a great oportunity for browsing Veeky Forums

WHO WAS THE 3RD EXISTENTIAL CRISIS DESCRIBED BY

>MA
>Oxbridge
You mean a BA, right?

>the latter of which was described as having the depth and profundity of a man twice my age

>19

Reminder that 19 x 2 = 38

Reminder that you had a mid-life crisis at the age of 19.

Reminder that you a bragging about this on a Cornish pig-farming forum.

>implying 19 won't be the middle of his life

HAHA TO READ
What a bunch of losers, reading is a trap ephebe activity, one that consumes the time of the frail little man. Me and my math phd, we got ourselves the humble salary of 300000$ per year. Of course, you can read, no one will object to that, but the endgame is MINE. I have it all:the cash, the life, the freedom. While you will contemplate stupid dead figures, I will be there, ruling over the present world, over the lifes you re trying desperately to flee.

How pathetic to live this way, you cannot tolerate your surroundings because of how ''pauperous'' they might look, but that is what it means to be a man, to be able to take hits, to fight the mud, and to never submit to the temptations of an imaginary world. I dont need to go anywhere because this world is my home (but also this beautiful one million brick house i bought by my efforts)

and by my fireside, i will sip my wine and chuckle while thinking of all those 4losers. checkmate