Best opening lines?

...

double layers of irony, I like it

dude, those are jokes

you do realise that right? like you didn't actually think he was being serious right?

>A yelling comes across the sky.

Like said, I was being ironic (I'm only one of those replies).

Actually I wasn't being ironic, I'm retarded desu

...

>suddenly being serious about joking

I prefer Dosto's:

>I am a sick man...I am a wicked man

It's
>"Greetings, I am the one called Ishmael."

Idiot.

riverrun, past Eve and Adam's, from swerve of shore to bend
of bay, brings us by a commodius vicus of recirculation back to Howth Castle and Environs.

>I am sitting in an office, surrounded by alot of people.

>I do things like get in a taxi and say, "The library, and quickly.”

r/cringe

Up in the air there came a big cry or scream you could even say.

Stanley, a plump guy, came from the stairs bearing a bowl of water.
''per aspera ad astra''

>hi every1 im new!!!!!!!holds up spork my name is ishmael, but u can call me 1shy!!!!!!!!

>Late in the winter of my 17th year, my mother decided I was depressed, presumably because I rarely left the house, spent quite a lot of time in bed, read the same book over and over, ate infrequently and devoted quite a bit of my abundant free time thinking about death.

Kek

>Pretty sure my mum died yesterday.

>Mother died today. Or maybe yesterday, idk

>Who is John Galt?

Enlightenment came to Patera Silk on the ball court; nothing could ever be the same after that.

This one time, and it was a good time, there was a cow coming down the lane, and this cow that was coming down the lane met a nice little boy named young Tuckoo.

Lolita, my lonely lover, my little slut.

>I am a sick man... I am a wicked man... I am... the underground man

Tolstoi you hack

It was only then he realised his true identity. Gregor Samsa was Spiderman,

Kek

This is great.

>The two of us wrote Anti-Oedipus together. Since each of us was several,
there was already quite a crowd. Here we have made use of everything that
came within range, what was closest as well as farthest away. We have
assigned clever pseudonyms to prevent recognition. Why have we kept our
own names? Out of habit, purely out of habit. To make ourselves unrecognizable
in turn.

>Μῆνιν ἄειδε θεὰ | Πηληιάδεω Ἀχιλῆως

These irony levels lmao

.Trolled, fucking plebs.

"If Lord Stannis and Rob Stark fight each other...it will be a clash of kings"

"The Great Gataby woke up and read the paper over eggs and coffee. "

It was a sunny day on the animal farm and everyone was working.

''So what will it be, hm?''

>wicked

triggered

>Mrs. Dalloway said she would buy the flowers herself.

Fucking Neuromancer. I might pick up Penguin's new hardcover release of it, nice and simplistic

Arms! and the man I sing, who forced by fate
And Haughty Juno's unrelenting hate
Expelled and exiled left the Trojan shore
Long labours, by sea and land he bore
and in that doubtful war, before
The Latian realm was won
and built, the destined town
from whence the race of Alban fathers come
and long glories of majestic Rome.

>"Fuck, OP is such a faggot, I'm ashamed of being her mother"

Honestly I think this is great, the mystery really kept me reading.

In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth.

Hwaet!

It's "Yo soy ishmael" you retarded cunt.

>Going to bed early is kinda cool

In the Name of Allah, the Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful.

Llamadme Ismael pedazo de retrasado

There was once a boy named Milo who didn't know what to do with himself—not just sometimes, but always.

>falling for an obvious ironic metatroll

>Dear diary

Stately fat, Bat Mackagan came from the ladderbottom bearing a bowl of lava on which Mirror's Edge lay crossed

gud 1

In finnish:
Mieleni minun tekevi,
Aivoni ajattelevi,
Lähteäni laulamahan,
Saa'ani sanelemahan,
Sukuvirttä suoltamahan,
Lajivirttä laulamahan.
Sanat suussani sulavat,
Puhe'et putoelevat,
Kielelleni kerkiävät,
Hampahilleni hajoovat.

In english (sadly, things are lost in translation)
Mastered by desire impulsive,
By a mighty inward urging,
I am ready now for singing,
Ready to begin the chanting
Of our nation's ancient folk-song
Handed down from by-gone ages.
In my mouth the words are melting,
From my lips the tones are gliding,
From my tongue they wish to hasten;
When my willing teeth are parted,
When my ready mouth is opened,
Songs of ancient wit and wisdom
Hasten from me not unwilling.

We wuz KangZ an sheit.

>ἄνδρα μοι ἔννεπε, μοῦσα, πολύτροπον, ὃς μάλα πολλὰ,
>πλάγχθη, ἐπεὶ Τροίης ἱερὸν πτολίεθρον ἔπερσεν·

Absolute patrician.

>As he faced the firing squad, Colonel Aureliano Buendia was to remember that distant afternoon when his father took him to score some ice.

Yeah probably this for real tho

Get it?

Anyone?

Is this a bad translation of 100 years of solitude, or something? I'm not a pleb; I read the Spanish version, so I don't get it, sorry.

Through the fence, between the curling flower spaces, I could see them hitting.

LMAO

This is the only answer. user is a true patrician.

Get the fuck off my board plebs if you can't even quote a fucking line of literature properly, o how the mighty have fallen.

Zarathustra stepped out of his cave or something

dude you're not even trying now, come on dude you s u c c

>DUDE IRONY LMAO

are you fucking retarded?

>he fell into the sincere meme of ilicitating a derogatory ironic response

lul

Lolita, light of my life, fire of my loins, my sin, my soul, lo-lee-ta.

>And but so, it was all an infinite jest

actually it's
>And but so, it was all an infinite jest [1].

Sounds great.

That Finnish sounds so lush.

What it's this from?

fuck off

Weia! Waga!
Woge, du Welle,
walle zur Wiege!
Wagala weia!
Wallala, weiala weia!

>lul

*record scratch*
*freeze frame on a man floating on a coffin*

Yup, that's me. Ishmael.

I think Ha Jin won some yearly award for the best opening line with Waiting
>Every summer Lin Kong returned to Goose Village to divorce his wife, Shuyu
And for my money, he should have an award. It has a folkloric touch to it, and I do believe you could call it Kafkaesque, just as I'm 90% certain that Jin alludes to Kafka when at some point the sound of a murder of crows is compared to starved ghosts.

>Waiting

One of the only books in the past 5 years I read entirely the way through on one sitting, it was so wonderful.

What?

Lolita... the light for my wife, the fire for my joints. My sin, my grin. Lol-eater: the top of my tongue taking a vacation three feet away to tap on a plate, for some reason, with my teets. Lolit. A. She was Lolit, plain Lolit, in the morning, standing eight feet six in one shoe. She was Loooool in slacks. She was Lmao at school. She was Dolores when she was eating a vegetable. But my arms were always tortillas.

yes it does, not completely happy with the translation I found though. Really gives you the idea that something from the past has come back through the narrator

It's so much better when you understand the meanings behind the words, I'll translate the text word by word, so you'll get the meaning but it's no longer in kalevala-metre or is it poetic anymore:

Mind of mine doth,
Brain of mine thinketh,
To part to sing,
My words to say,
Familyhymn to spew,
Kindredhymn to sing,
Words melt in my mouth,
Speeches fall,
Hasten in time to my tongue,
Break unto my teeth.

I like this one

>"For the relief of mild to moderate pain including headache, migraine, neuralgia, toothache, sore throat and preiod pains."

The past is a foreign country, they do things differently there.

>"a yelling flies through the air"

>This is my favorite book in all the world, though I have never read it.

Because It Is Bitter, and Because It Is My Heart

"I say this with as much apathy as can be allowed: killing god was a mistake."