Who else here /pseudomensch/?

Over the course of about a year I've gathered a huge collection of high brow literary works for absurdly cheap or non-existent (hehe) prices. I have read exactly zero 0 of a bookshelf nearing triple digits. I constantly shitpost in Veeky Forums threads assuming an aura of confidence and knowledge towards the works, and making sure my opinions become standard in the Veeky Forums zeitgeist - however I have only gathered what little I know from memes and Wikipedia summaries.

Whilst you /untereaders/ """expand""" your knowledge, I have gained an unwarranted perception of intelligence and class within the equivalent Ivy league college I attend, the amount of steady pousse and popularity that my dilettante lifestyle brings is exhilarating, when taking a girl home one sight of my collection and there is no undoing their lust.

you might think I would be discovered when conversing with a beta who has actually actually HAHAHA read some of my collection, but my charisma and quick wit are impregnable.

So take my advice litizens, and take your place in the new world order, for a world of hedonistic pleasure and smugness is but a few used books away.

I truthfully unironically do this as well

Irony aside, I also semi-do this as well. I brought many religious books, a lot of philosophy and all of the Greeks, the Chinese and Romans. I'm considered quite intellectual because I am SEEN reading a lot, and I do read, but all of it is YA and SFF. For the plebian mind, all reading is intellectual regardless and merely being seen with a book makes you seem elite.
No regrets

Your "charisma and quick wit" wouldn't fool anyone actually versed in what you're discussing. You're the fastest guy in the special Olympics thanks to steroids. Face it, you're nothing but a pretender, and even if your retarded friends never realize how intellectually shallow you are, you'll always know, thinking about it before your head hits the pillow every night.

That or you'll bullshit your way through life and become a millionaire playboy who fucks supermodels or something. Probably the first thing though. Seriously though, you should try actually diving into a book every now and then. You'll be surprised how rewarding turning that last page can be.

i am a non meme version of this

i buy lots of philosophy or non ficiton but find it too confusing or too dry to complete so i go back to reading fiction

Yeah me too

Who on Veeky Forums actually reads? fucking nerds lol

au contraire friend, I am deep both intellectually and in puss reserves. I can also accurately calculate to a degree of 5% uncertainty (I am a mathematics major of course, I say this as I assume you are poor at reading obvious social clues) that there is a 87% chance you have readily agreed or respected my opinion on a novel I have never so much as turned the cover.

>booklets, when will they learn

Glad to see somewhat quality bait is making a return

Currently own two-hundred-and-thirty-four books OP, guess how many I've read?

0

>mfw I've actually ALMOST gotten through a book this summer
Is this the dawn of a new me

It works well enough on Veeky Forums but you'll never get the chance to actually talk about literature with another person who knows what he's talking about, unless you want to be caught in a lie.

where's your evidence cuck

You're still posting, aren't you?

slay some puss on my level then get back to me beta

this is the most Veeky Forums thread i've ever seen

...

I find it funny how the whole point of this is to look better to society and to demonstrate your intellectual value to a girl.
If anyone is going down this route they are gonna end up pretty sad inside

Illusion is reality my friend, any qualified physicist can explain this to you.

I bought a several hundred page complete history of the Ottoman Empire because it looked fucking badass. Read about 40 pages, never touched it again. It's dry as fuck.

The good thing is that because I've never finished it I can actually truthfully pick it up and start reading it whenever I need to impress anyone. I'll get through it eventually.

1453 worst day of my life.

But the Ottomans are the true allies of the pseudomensch brother, they claim the privilege of titles and royalty that they lack any claim on, true alphas.

Next time you read that book do so with a sense of camaraderie for your brethren don't actually read it you fucking alpha

This thread is truly depressing. Veeky Forums has been taken over by lazy entitled millenials

but you can't, because all you've done is read two sentences of a wikipedia article. Beyond shitposting, you're as useless as a retarded person

I do the same thing OP, except I read the books because that's what I enjoy doing.

I look forward to you eating up my "enlightened" opinions in future threads user :^)

Feel free to vent your anger here, I can imagine it would be hard to have your """greatness""" unappreciated.

Mais mon ami, I literally can't express how much better my life has been since I attended Oxford. I went to a state school and gradually became the stereotypical moody, withdrawn sensitive type who both despises the quality of his immediate culture and feels a weird pride for having been raised in a sort of anti-intellectual and brutal environment. I was all set to take my Russell Group humanities BA and spend my life working as an anonymous, insecure wageslave forever thankful of being offered a job and forever too insecure to pursue my creative ambitions. The chip on my shoulder had become something of a wedge, and I felt too out of place regardless of my environment, too resentful and bitter to even attempt to make it in the artistic world. Then I finally applied for Oxford and got in to study an English MA, with reassurance that should I work hard enough a career in academia or within one of Oxford's affiliated companies would be almost guaranteed. I turned up as apprehensive as usual, and the first few days were spent regretting my decision and desperately feigning a cultured personality. But then I realized that the people there were just interesting and that the snobbery and exclusivity I had anticipated was just a myth borne out of my working class upbringing. I've since graduated, having spend the year dining in grand halls with groups of interesting people, dating several girls (one of whom, a petite Russian whose family traces back to the aristocracy, is now my fiancee). I work four days a week at a publishing company and earn £38k a year. I regularly meet up with friends from my college and visit Oxford for nights out and for meetings with my professors. The Martin Eden-esque novel I have been writing for two years has been selected for publication at a major British publishing house and, honestly, I could not have imagined a few years ago how great life could be. I come on Veeky Forums and see how pathetic you all are and just shake my head and chuckle. If I saw you guys on the street I would of course throw you a penny or discuss Bukowski or whatever "realist" writers you enjoy, but ultimately I would be able to tell within ten seconds if you're an Oxbridge grad and would dismiss you as a potential source of good company if you are not. I never thought I'd know what it was like to be objectively better than somebody else, for the value of my existence to be superior to the value of a stranger's, but now I do and I've never been happier. People are awed by power and prestige. All I need to do is mention the university I attended (if only for a year) and they immediately begin to hunch and look at their feet because they know they are in the presence of greatness.

ciao amigo, ca va?

but it's not your opinion now is it

why would you anonymously pretend to read lol.
get a life loser.

>tfw now pretending not to read to impress a japanese book reading forum when I read 3 books today
or is this too a lie

I unironically do this lol

>booklet iq