I'm done with it all and want to end it

to you, maybe.
I want my close ones to think I fucked up in some way and dismiss me instead of thinking they failed me in some way or another.

nah, it's the facts, mang. nothing matters to the dead.

I understand.
Yet the last thing I want is for my relatives to feel any kind of guilt. Hence my question.

You're not thinking logical about suicide and are instead going on empty feelings. I don't know why no one's said it yet but or for whichever brand of autistic crying for help you prefer.

I'm not crying for help, I'm asking for advice.

My goal is that my relatives live with the idea that I fucked up somehow, not that I wanted to die.

write them a letter, explain

>I'm asking for advice
It's the literal name of the board I mean come on.

If you're serious:
Don't put your parents through the ordeal of losing a child. My best friend died last year (accidentally) and watching what his mom has gone through has been horrible. Killing yourself is selfish. People do care about you, and when you die you're really just hurting them. Don't be a fucking asshole. If you're depressed find a suicide help hotline or chat.

If you're not serious:
then you truly are a massive fggt.

>Good idea

>Killing yourself is selfish
But in the end it will be less painful than putting my family through the ordeal of watching me fail at life systematically

>I want to die this way and make it look like an accident.
In all reality, everyone will know it was suicide no matter how you do it. People in your life more than likely already suspect you being unhappy.

If you think that by making it look like an accident it will be any easier on friend or family, you are a fool. Losing their family member will be utterly traumatizing regardless of how. Looking like suicide or not will not make a measurable difference in their grief.

>less painful than putting my family through the ordeal of watching me fail at life systematically
I promise suicide will be more painful for everyone involved.

that's why I don't want it to look like suicide, genius

As though crying for help isn't off topic. And my post was very much on topic as far as this thread goes. Are you sure you know what the word topic means? Maybe you should just kill yourself.

Let me rephrase that, I promise your death will be more painful for everyone involved.

Whether it looks like suicide or not is a pathetically minor point in the scheme of how it will cause everyone you have ever known to feel.

Don't do it OP.

First of all delete Facebook and all social media. If you're miserable, seeing everyone you know project the happiest, awesomest, successful-est version of themselves every day is going to depress the shit out of you.

May I recommend either starting again as an ESL teacher in inland China or somewhere with no normies to judge you until you've figured your issues out OR dedicating as much of your free time as you have energy for to doing charity shit and making the world a less shitty place? Choose a drastic change of direction and stick to it.

I used to be depressed as shit but I worked hard to figure it out and now life is pretty good.

I disagree.
An accident will feel incredibly less painful than a suicide.

this. especially the part about the parents losing a child

I lost my brother when I was 11 and he was 19, in a car accident. The pain for me was overwhelming, or so I thought, until now that I'm old and can recall and make sense of the pain my parents had to go through, which I didn't understand as a kid. They were never the same. My mother 12 years later still goes to the cemetery, she can't forget. They would rather have their son as a depressed suicidal NEET serial killer drug peddling weeaboo pedophile in prison than dead, even by accident. You don't know the pain that loving parents have to go through, it's beyond what you can imagine. If anything, you should be striving to not kill yourself, for their sake.

I appreciate the whiteknightfaggottry but that's still off-topic.
HOW do I go about fullilling my objective?

Ok first tell me the sauce of the picture before you do
That will work. Alternatively, you could nebulize alcohol.

no clue

no, shoving tampons up my ass would not look accidental at all.

you want to be another number in the list of people who died in an accident? why?

> shoving tampons up my ass would not look accidental at all.
it'll look like you wanted to get a stronger buzz

Because I don't want my close ones to think I wanted to die

Not like me at all

You keep spouting shit about being off topic, what does this thread have to do with science or math? Please just fucking kill yourself so we can stop having you bump this thread for no reason.

snorting 80% vol will kill you

but dont dont do the people u hate the favor of leaving early

why even care about them? I when they do not know it already that you want to kill yourself they must be raly stupid.

>what does this thread have to do with science
are you pretending to be retarded?

That's the point: surprising people. Most of them don't know.

Define hypothesis in your own words you scientifically illiterate monkey.

I have a fucking PhD you dumbass

funny

Couldn't even do it could you? Instead you make baseless claims about owning a PhD and act as if it somehow entitles you to whine on here about your personal issues.

I'm not in the mood for writing an essay for some sperg from across the world

Nor am I interested in seeing a thread about a whiny s/adv/irgin on the front page of a board dedicated to science and math. If you aren't here for science or math then why are you here at all?

for the SCIENCE on how to die via alcohol

jesus it's painful to have to spell things out for people constantly

lmgtfy.com/?q=how to die via alcohol gee for someone with a PhD you sure are a dumb piece of shit.

keyword: "accident"
you sure don't seem to be able to read between the lines
wtf are you even doing on this board

lmgtfy.com/?q=how to die via alcohol by accident got you covered bro, you can close this thread now.

>>Let me rephrase that, I promise your death will be more painful for everyone involved.
>An accident will feel incredibly less painful than a suicide.
Are you illiterate or just read what you want?

He clearly said you dying will be worse for others than failing at life. You respond that you disagree because accidental death will be less painful than suicide.

Seek professional help because you're clearly mentally damaged if you can't comprehend basic sentences.

Step in front of a bus.

So does everyone else on Veeky Forums, cucklefuck.