Clever one of your family

>clever one of your family
>least successful by almost every measure

maybe you have ADD? even if not a lot of students do. or pretend to for scripts. it's not all natural ability, lot of people are just spun out on amphetamines all the time and it works, though perhaps not the best advice.

By "cope" I mean their understand of the material and their grades are way better than mine.

Do you go to professor's office hours at all? It is much faster to get homework done that way, and asking specifically what will be on tests helps.

>Family didn't fixate on "intelligence", nor accomplishment in a societal sense. Preferred self derived meaning and functional traits.
>Extended family occasionally said I was smart, said I should do x y z etc. Ignored and avoided this.
>Father a few times implied I had a much better memory than he did, and that I learned much faster. I never saw a marked difference and there was very little I could say to him, even entirely novel topics, that he wouldn't quickly grasp. Probably he had a well formed and integrated framework of knowledge and had abstracted how things work down to the general case. I always saw myself as crippled and deficient at best.

Anyway. My family didn't spur maladaptive traits or try to instill hollow ideas about what's actually valuable in life. Both father and mother are insightful, perceptive, and intelligent people, and taught me a massive amount just by existing to watch and interact with. This probably afforded me a lot of the capacity I have, and is the only reason I've gone as far as I have. Statistically a lot of people in my position tend to kill themselves, and it's a wonder I made it to my 20's.

>sorry professor I didn't understand anything because one of us is a dumb shit

Well you're supposed to be a dumb shit. That's why you're taking a class and learning.

Many people go to office for help. That is why they have office hours. I had a few classes where almost the whole class would go and do homework together in the prof's office. If you ever want to do any research or have your profs write recommendations, you need to be interacting with them more than just being in class anyway.

>super worried about your performance in class
>only one of a few in a 108 student class to earn a 100 on the first assaignment
>doesnt stop the anxiety

>last male of my family
>first male to go to attempt to earn a degree of any kind in two centuries
>what does my family care about?
>"you arent even trying."
>"its your time to pick a wife."
>"when will i have grandkids. Not from your cousins, they're [not family name]."
>"have you been talking to any ladies?"
>mfw i hide the pain

>All the women on mother's side age very slowly and stay fit well into the 80's, and even 90's.
>Great Grandmother died at age 102 (after they gave her a flu shot)
>Males age slightly less slowly, but have almost non-existent rates of cancer and maintain their faculties and bodily functionality
>Be only child
>Be male
>Trace your family tree back a decent amount and see that the female line was broken in all cases
>Realize your mother's mitochondrial DNA dies with you
Oh well.

KEK!

Same here! :p

>literally the smartest kid in your community college
>one of the stupidest in a real university

...

>one of the low A students in community college
>one of the low A students in University

I'm okay with this.

>one of the best in my classes
>crippling anxiety
There's always a price.

>being the worst in your class

It's like, do you people even fucking try How incompetent do you have to be to fail something in school?

>but muh subject is hard
>but muh book doesn't open itself
>but muh notes don't study themself
>but muh extra help doesn't come to me
>but muh professor doesn't read my mind

I hope you fucking fail. Complaining about doing bad in school is like if I got mad at a girl for getting pregnant after purposely blasting a giant load into her cooter.

this

well aren't you just precious

fucking freshman

then go to university ... and realize u aint the shit....then become socially akward and start to go more and more on Veeky Forums in a desperate effort to maintain some communication with teh outside world.....

ya in my university u try u fail u dont try u fail harder thats what the past 2 years have been like

>Only child
>Everyone on my mother's side of the family is certifiably crazy. She once said there was not an episode of the Maury show that wouldn't fit someone in my family.
>Don't know much about my father's side outside of the fact he was abused as a kid.
>First one of my family to go to college was my mother.
Boy oh boy are my genes the purest and greatest.

>clever one of your family
>one of the worst in your classes

Teacher: Alright class, what is 1+1?

Normal people: "It's 2, I am smart!"

Clever people: "FUK DIS"

>This probably afforded me a lot of the capacity I have

It probably didn't and the capacity is probably due to genes.

>Dad was the literal #1 Medicine student of his generation, never failed a class, and skipped a year because he took more courses.
>I'm just an average engineering student
>I'm the "smart one" of the family now that dad is now ded

Sorry pops.

>smartest person in your uni
>dumbest person in your family

Switch to medicine, maybe engineering is keeping you down.

Buildings make me happy, and blood makes me sick.

Thanks, but no thanks

>dad has a Fields Medal
>tfw youre an average computer science undergrad

>tfw
>3.6 gpa in high school
>3.6 gpa in community college
>3.6 gpa in real college

My biggest problem is that I don't have a passion for or really want to be doing or enjoy doing what I'm doing.

So it's hard for me to sit down and read and study about something I really don't care about.

But there's nothing that interests me. desu I just want to kill myself because I feel this way

>get interested in something
>invest money in learning about it
>lose interest a few months in

>buildings
>civil
eckgh

tfw 3.0 in HS

tfw 3.8 in first, non-competitive, uni

tfw 4.0 in top 30 uni

>Everyone says I'm smart as fuck and am going to do great things with my life
>Feel like a drooling retard when I compare myself to my father

>smartest kid in town
>mediocre student at university in a big city

I feel you bro
>sister dumb as fuck and pleb
>myself decent intelligent
>lazy as fuck tho
>father is insanely smart
>he graduated highschool as the best student
>his score in some classes are still unrboken
>he never had anything else than an A+ in one course
>be basically my father 2.0 in terms of interest
>lazy brainlet and I have a father complex
>mfw

>Invest money in learning something

Why? Literally the entirety of human knowlage is on the Internet for free

Ugh I know that feel

>family looks up to you since you know bout them molecules
>mother feels finally fulfilled. A life of injustice and cruelty. Believes she has been compensated for with an intelligent son
>father rest so much pride on me
>If only they knew how fragile their beliefs in me actually are! Their confidence, unknown to them, is skating on ice.
How awful i feel knowing I am no compensation nor a hope.

Also
>know about imposter syndrome but actually know I am an imposter
>constantly have the sense that those around me are disgusted by my frail and sickly constitution.
>want to apologize to my PI for being part of his depressing reality
As in:
He went to a great school, had high hopes and lots of encouragement, now has to work with idiots like me. I am literally his depressing reality
>truly do care about my subject but realize it is disgusted by my grubby hands reaching to grasp more it's knowledge

This is awful. I only know myself to be compassionate since I understand my presence on this earth is negativity affecting the lives of others and because of this, I feel a deep sorrow for those who know and work amongst me. I know my existence is morally wrong.

Yep, everyone tells me how smart I am and how far I will go.

Yet I never passed the second semester of Computational Chemical Kinetics like my peers. It doesn't matter if only ~30 people on the planet get accepted to that class every year through a long vetting process with Nobel Prize winning guest lectures. Nope, cause I am now know as the one that failed it cause I am stupid. And yet some how too smart to get properly employed.

That feel when you model the thermal chemical reaction rate to make the French Fries come out perfectly and customers come out of nowhere demanding more with money in hand.

The feel when your boss yells at you for writing the reduced model function on the back of the deep fryer clip board because you kept forgetting it.

Going to big job fair in October with many companies I like, hope it changes my life.