This is objectively the list of the best books of all time, in order. Prove me wrong (Non-Fiction excluded)

>no Divine Comedy

Wot

Let me guess, Moby-Dick was "too boring" for you?

actually your list is incorrect because actually *cums in pants* actually actually -- hey -- if you consider -- hey -- you obviously haven't read this other book that actually is actually *dies*

so QuIrKy

Coetzee....?

Constanza face

"Dante wrote the best book we have." - Borges

those books are shit. prove yourself right

>no Proust
>no Melville

>list disregarded

fw you haven't read a single book in years

Fill me in Veeky Forums what's a must?

who cares dude. get a better hero to worship, he lists many you can cling to.

Ulysses is an over-eager, noting read. Literature is art, art is meant to make you feel and to entertain. It fails at the latter an did debate able at the former.

*Over-rated boring.

>objectively
Into the trash it goes.

The greeks. Aristophanes, Euripides, Sophocles and Homer, the presocratics, Plato, and Aristotle.

Thank you.

>no Gaddis
>no Hawkes
>no James
>no Melville
>no Mann
>no Broch
>no Goethe
>no [insert author op has never read here]
You're right, in a way--it's objectively shit.

>Hamlet
>book

...

my library only cares GR, Against the Day, and Inherent Vice
I don't want to start with fucking GR, or his only 1000 page novel.
Do I have to start with Inherent Vice even though I've seen the movie already

>>no Gaddis
>>no Hawkes
It's still a shit list as these pretty much always are, but in OP's defense, you'd be hard-pressed to find more than a handful of people here who've read those two especially. Gaddis had a bit of a revival recently, but it seems like few people actually got through The Recognitions or the recently reprinted J R.

you're never going to read anything with an attitude like that. you want advise? you'll be dead soon and your wasting time on flimflamflummery. how did people read before the internet connected assholes from across the world so they could make guides and create rules for books most of them haven't read? they picked up a book and read it. chances are you'll have an opinion and maybe an understanding. try it.

I mean... I guess... I rather have started with the Crying of Latka 49 since it's so short compared to everything else, but your saying just dive into one of the longer and more complex pieces of literature even though I am kind of a pleb and may not enjoy it with out any kind of reference on how to digest this guy, Pynchon?
I rather dip my toes, desu, it's a different time desu

If you really wanna dip your toes, then maybe starting with Pynchon right now isn't a good idea, especially seeing how hesitant you already are.

Make a choice already.

why are you giving me ultimatums, I'll do it whenever I want to. I said they don't have anything at my library besides GR and Against the Day, if I don't want to start with those I won't, what is wrong with, do you think you're teaching me a life lesson you uppity nigger, I will read what ever I want when I want, I'm reading Zadie Smith and Virginia Woolf so I can get accustomed to post modern and good prose, why are you so mean to me I hate it, I mean jesus I'll read Pynchon when the time is right. WHY are you so patrician

>3. Gravity's Rainbow - Thomas Pynchon
kys

>all these meme books

You only read book stalked about on here, don't you? Have you even read the Faerie Queene?

Hamlet was a play