Who would win in a no-holds barred street fight?

Who would win in a no-holds barred street fight?

Both as they were age 30, no weapons.

Are you stupid? Pynchon was a fucking soldier, he would demolish David.

Definitely the Cone.

That's two points to Pynchon, can Deef recover from this?

*Navy soldier. he was probably fit but i doubt he could fight. DFW could be dangerous with a tennis racket

>Navy soldier. he was probably fit but i doubt he could fight.
What the fuck did you just say about me etc etc

I'm calling time. Pinecone wins 2-1 and is through to the next round!

Same rules, Pinecone vs The Heminator, who wins?

Pinecone by an unpredictable spin kick

Hemmingway concedes late in the round

I still think Pynchon. He was likely a deadly practitioner of some drunken martial art. Hemmy was just a drunk

“Deal with him, Hemingway. Deal with him."

I'd still go with Pinecone though.

Pinecone wins by a knockout!

A new challenger appears. Both combatants are pre-dosed with 1000μg of LSD. Pinecone vs The Hunter, who wins?

I think Pinecone would win just by being more experienced with acid, his middle name is Druggles after all.

Although at 1000μg the only possible winner is the collective consciousness, myan.

Pynchon by pulling a large mallet from his trousers

Great thread, man. 10/10

hate to be a bandwagoner, but so far Pynch is clinch.

put him up againt a big boy. Delayney or Mishima

>Mishima
>big

hey he's got katanas

Pinecone because he's whacky even off drugs.

How about versus young a Tolstoy?

"I cannot recall those years without horror, loathing, and heartrending
pain. I killed people in war, challenged men to duels with
the purpose of killing them, and lost at cards; I squandered the
fruits of the peasants' toil and then had them executed; I was a
fornicator and a cheat. Lying, stealing, promiscuity of every kind,
drunkenness, violence, murder-there was not a crime I did not
commit; yet in spite of it all I was praised, and my colleagues
considered me and still do consider me a relatively moral man."

u wot m8?

Oh my fucking god look at that receding hairline, he's just like me!

pynchon again
hunter was in no state to fight, he got his ass kicked by the hells angels and pynchon would have basically joined them if he had felt like it

>but the most important thing to comprehend is that Kerouac was an American Catholic author – for example, virtually every page of his diary bore a sketch of a crucifix, a prayer, or an appeal to Christ to be forgiven.[35]

did not know this

Tolstoy was just lying so that his conversion would shine brighter.

And Hunter is down for the count! Kurt Vonne-"machine-gun-punch"gut, this Jewish Einstein looking motherfucker fought in the Battle of The Bulge during WWII and survived the bombing of Dresden as a POW. Does he have what it takes to bring down our reigning champion?

Standard rules apply.

Maybe, but he still did fight in a war and I think he could beat Pinecone in a fight.

pynchon again with his already established fighting ability, vonnegut was just a little cuck
bring a real challenger


which war did he fight in? crimean?

Pynchon never actually saw action, Vonnegut was infantry on the front line of one of the most important battles of the second world war.

Vonnegut was a bitch pussy crap ass hat and got captured when he was an army chaplain or something equally weak. Pynchon again.

>which war did he fight in? crimean?
Yeah. He wrote the Sevastopol Sketches about his experience. The battles at Sevastopol were also some of the bloodiest in the whole war.

Vonnegut's stuff is almost YA. You got me triggered tbqh. Pinchy all the way.

>bring a real challenger
Ian Fleming?

>Pynchon was a fucking soldier

he was a fucking sailor for fucks sake
90% chance he took it up the ass
and liked it

like a spartan, dude

he was in one battle and got overrun and captured, not much worth in a one on one fight
pynchon is crazy and shifty and was probably in some mexican barfights

Fine. How about this dude? Secret agent, soldier and resistance fighter who survived 116,000 others who died in forced labour constructing the Thailand–Burma Railway.

pierre boulle?
I guess, he was also a commie though

I don't see how that's relevant.

Pynchon Arcs a Snow-Ball,-- in which contains a Rock,-- follow'd by rhythmic slaps in a carefree Assault

commies are un-american and therefore effeminate

It's funny because I never though of Pynchon as gay but he must be at least bi, right? Or do you think there is a point were fetishes become so twisted that someone could enjoy gay sex in an entirely non gay way?

like, everyone's bisexual, man

I've fapped to gay porn a couple times when high on marijuana, when normally I have zero percent attraction

Commies wrestle bears in Siberia. Don't worry, if that idea stresses you out you can always comfort eat another hamburger.

I'm not even american, tricked

Sidesteps Pinecone's punch, stubs cigarette in eye, proceeds to write a children's book on deathbed.

wew

A fight with Brecht would be interesting, who would be the most unscrupulous? would they have some sort of bisexual bout?

Pinecone is totally my boi, but Pierre Boulle has a much better military record.

Also, not trying to stomp on your shit or anything; just sharing a funny pic. We all know Joyce hide behind Hemingway when it came to fights, so it wouldn't be a contest anyway.

Thanks Sigmund! I fap to traps on a semi-regular basis, although in the beginning I had this feeling like "I shouldn't be doing this" and that really turned me on, but after accepting it it's lost a lot of the appeal and I'm relapsing.

I'm back to around 70% real women and 30% traps where as before it was almost 100% traps.

Can you diagnose me, papa?

I'm going to declare Boulle the winner and stop, I'm bored of this now.

you would need to build transference with an analyst to be properly diagnosed, I assume you're just fucking gay d.e.s.u

Joyce hid behind Hemingway because his power was too much for the mortals he got into fights with.

Could Ruggles take on one of his thunderous earth shattering farts?

It was his wife's farts you uncultured plebeian

>I assume you're just fucking gay d.e.s.u

Fugggg
Oh well, bois are cuter anyways, I guess.

Who won, OP?

western women are so unfeminine that someone making a serious and sustained effort to be feminine is more appealing than a slovenly pig dog resting on her biological laurels.

>he must be at least bi, right?

no

I smirked.

What's this I hear about a fight, boys?

And Orwell?

Socrates, Plato.

Call me Thomas Punchon. Because I'm about to take you to Gravitys Painbow.

I think it's possible that everyone is potentially bisexual, but only because it would be more consistent with my religion's morality. From my own experience, I can only attest having once or twice been quite impressed by the shape of a man's face, but never to the point of arousal. I used to be quite liberal in my beliefs and I was totally interested in the idea that a man could fluctuate in his sexuality, so I wasn't afraid of being gay, I just never felt any gay attraction. so to this date I haven't made up my mind whether it's true that everyone is potentially gay

socrates would literally kick everyone mentioned ITT ass
he would get them when they are writting like faggots, he wouldnt make this mistake

Pynchon
>was a Navy soldier post WW2, when hand to hand combat was Elmer-Fudd-tier bullshit
>he had zero discipline even for a Navy soldier as he did a lot of drugs and joined the hippy culture in the 60s and 70s
>never did any sports or anything competitive where you have to react in the moment with coordination, aggression and grace. And if he did it was before black people got involved in sports so it was at a very low level.
>the average "tough guy" back then was a fucking 5'5 120 lb manlet whippersnapper.
>too much of a pussy to ever do any interviews or be seen publicly, laced in insecurity

David Foster Wallace
>grew up a ranked athlete in a highly competitive sport
>expert in mathematical logic, can calculate the likelihood of the few attacks Pynchon would be able to deploy
>has insane fucking grip strength from tennis, the daily practice of squeezing tennis balls, which he likely carried with him well into his 30s since he was a complete basket case.
>wears a bandana that is basically the equivalent of "don't fuck with me" tattooed on his forehead
>reaction time is EXTREMELY sharp

Upon Pynchon's sluggish attack, DFW would easily grab Pynchon's wrist and squeeze it with a very hard force, while keeping his distance using his tennis agility as Pynchon tries to break distance for a follow-up attack. The pain in Pynchon's wrist eventually causes him to try and grab his own arm, leaving the manlet wide open for a devastating kick to the chest, that DFW can deliver with enough force to knock down the manlet that is Pynchon, possibly breaking one of Pynchon's ribs. While Pynchon is on the ground with the wind knocked out of him, DFW mounts him. DFW's fat fucking figure is too much for Pynchon to maneuver under, and DFW uses that death grip to strangle Pynchon to death. The strangle hold would only need 5-10 seconds to kill Pynchon, as the wind was knocked out of him from the ravaging kick to the chest.

Checkmate, niggers.

bad post

Conerad would destroy.

spooky

Pynchon
>not scared to meet up with his buddy Salman Rushdie in public. Even sought him ought after the fatwa.

DFW
>could not even take existing and killed himself.