Doomsday Devices

The doomsday Device

A lot of radioactive material with a half life of about 50 years is launched into the air via nuclear explosions. the radiation eventually kills all animal and plant life so even inside a radioactive shelter you will starve or have to live without water

Why build something when the answer already exists?

Free xboxes for every human.

You're aware there's shrooms growing on the tchernobyl core right ?
As in, not in the vicinity but on the fucking core itself.

That's literally what the first post proposed

yea but this is from a movie

Attach a monstrous jet engine to the earth and purchase all fuel possible to power it. Turning it on Will create tonnes of CO2 and throw the earth out of orbit

Don't put a t at the beginning of chernobyl. It goes against russian spirit of not using silent letters. People who say it sher noble will just have to be wrong.

Humans

Better yet, attach moon to Earth via unbreakable diamond tether. As moon orbits, the sharp thin wire will cleave the Earth in twain.

Make Donald Trump the president of the US.

Beaners and niggers are a burden to society. They obviously have lower IQ.
Ashkenazi jews and chinks which live in america should rule USA. They have higher IQs and they obviously will make America great again.

Trump is a nigger in all ways but being wealthy.

A bacteria/virus factory that continually pumps out antibiotic and immune system resistant versions of smallpox, influenza and bubonic plague and disperses them with drones.

>Launch a rocket into space with a hard core
>Have it do loops around planets and the sun picking up speed
>Later when it is going at Sanic speeds return it to Earth

Lost

He hasn't murdered any innocent people

Why not drones carrying missiles unleashing mosquitos on impact?

You don't fuck with mosquitos.

Maybe for the thirld world. In the first world we have access to several methods to 100% be free of mosquitoes.

An array of satellites equipped with nukes to produce strategic EMPs on all mayor cities.

The doomsday device itself is an innocent looking remote.

Make civilisation reliant on a highly toxic, carciogenic and polluting energy source. If that doesnt kill them all off, make sure it is a limited resource. If they start to develop alternative sources, increase the sugar in food so they all die of obesity.

Rothchild!!!

I would calculate a series of gravitational slingshots starting with some fair-sized asteroid that would eventually alter the course of Earth's orbit to send it hurtling toward the sun.

Just give me a katana and let me go to work.

Make people extremely obsessed with money and watch as people kill each other in attempt to get all the money they can get

Large Hadron Collider with the INTENT to make a black hole

Make a disease or chemical that permanently stops photosynthesis and spread it everywhere.

God fucking damn it. This got me completely off guard.

oh hey would you look at that this is going on right now

Design an allotrope of ice with an extremely high melting point, and throw a chunk into the ocean.

It would have to be a very big asteroid. Orbits are usually quite stable under small perturbations.

Neither has Jesus, the guy that mows my lawn.

It would be a series of asteroids of increasing size. The last step could nudge our moon's orbit precisely to sling us into the sun.

Got a smirk out of me.

What about a device that creates a stream of anti matter? Launch it into space and aim it at the earth. Flip the switch on and let it annihilate the planet.

Or create a wormhole on earth that teleports in a planet of anti matter.

Chernobyl didn't launch 8 million tons of cobalt fucking sixty into the atmosphere

a 4d ultra realistic porn simulator.

Invest in a method to trigger multiple supervolcanoes. It can't be that hard with unlimited funds.

I'll create a new violent species that can build weapons, destroy everything in their path, reproduces uncontrollably and has an insatiable hunger for power.
Shit. My idea has been done. :\

attach a million water hoses to each other and drown the planet.

Simple, make it so that every single person in the world has internet access at home.

Then, make a device that monitors everything you do.

Final part of this masterplan, make it so that you have to watch 1000 anime series BEFORE you ever have sex and 5000 series if you wish to have a kid(s).

You have to go back.

:/

1)
Place a large sunshade at the L1 Lagrange point 470km or greater in diameter. It just has to be able to block sunlight. The reduction in light on earth would cause a ice age and terrible weather problems. The terrible weather problems would start almost immediately. Conflict among humans for the reduced resources would do rest.

2)
Bioengineer a new version of mumps that would defeat current vaccines and work on adult males.
Ideally very transmittable and not a major symptom causer

1 million eels

build a series of spinning conducting rings around the earth and drain the energy out of the magnetosphere.

I always wondered why they didnt do something like this with the colonies in gundam rather than just dropping them like bombs, if they had the industrial and propulsion power to create and move something so big.

How difficult would it be to keep it positioned accurately considering the velocities you'd be working with?

In the same vein as this:
>Giant parabolic mirror placed at L4 or L5 lagrange points
>Make out of something light light metallized film so you can put it out there easier
>Point at earth
>Cook earth with sun's rays

You cannot make black hole big enough and small ones will evaporate instantly.

make a machine that triggers a vacuum metastability event

poison for bees

source : Einstein

Self replicating nanobots that consume carbon or iron.

>Build a matter compressor somehow
>Put many shit in it
>Black Hole
>Back to Hadean

>Get a deep-depth drilling machine
>Get some juicy bombs
>Find a good location to bury the little gift

pic related

>Kaboom

Put a communist global government. In three years everything is destroyed/consumed.

>470km or greater in diameter

this is the real problem
positioning not so..
dirty - won't know until it's pretty much too late

Build a device that can output one gun and one bible every 60 seconds
All guns are outputted are identical to one another
No two bibles are the same
Give people free access to this machine and convince everyone it's helping.

Oh wait, that's sorta what we've been doing to the middle east for decades.

That would never work user, here's what you do instead, build self-replicating robot railgun factories on the moon and throw the moon at earth. So you send up one robot it builds some solar panels, then a factory for building more robots, then it builds a railgun and shoots robots out to disperse them to other parts of the moon. After a couple replication cycles, it retargets the railguns to earth. In 25 years you could cover a quarter hemisphere of the moon with railguns.

For an extra 'fuck you' one could have the factories synch up by doing the same stuff fire flies do except with RF. It would be like rods from god, except everywhere on Earth.

niac.usra.edu/files/studies/final_report/880Chirikjian.pdf
rpk.lcsr.jhu.edu/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/Chirikjian02_b.pdf

ZANY SOCIIAL COMMMENTARY

Aww :)