Can the solitary lit lifestyle save me? Can the ugly be Zen?
I'm 25 and about 3 years ago I got in a wreck of an accident that left me deformed (aesthetically) and maimed (dick of a country though so no easy mode government support).
I work for mediocre pay and spend my time reading and meditating.
I'm alright but I'm not sure if this kind of life can lead to anything but despair.
Can any 40+ lit guru pandit swami sage please tell me I have a shot at becoming happy or even remaining this satisfied?
Note that as of now I only beleive in the first 2 noble truths.
It can if you try. Pain comes from longing.
I legitimately had to check if I was on Reddit when looking at that image.
But what's life without longing? And if things and the ego are in flux, as Buddha probably claimed, then what's to stop you from turning suffering into a positive force by mental willpower, or at least diminishes? Removing longing seems to almost be removing life to me, and I think the second option -while harder - is more attractive.
>Note that as of now I only beleive in the first 2 noble truths.
lol that's just kinda retarded
just sit down and practice your buddhism and you will see the truth in the other ones too, mate.
But brio... >Note that as of now I only beleive in the first 2 noble truths.
I just don't think that's possible atm, atleast in the long run.
Even the Buddha stressed the importance of community and how much it helps in the Nikayas, the translation I read particularly elevated the importance of friends (not lovers), this was by Bhikku Bodhi.
You can see this in practice, what percentage of Monks live in a solitairy compared to those in monastries?
I can't get close to people sadly, even before being disgusting to look at I was never a friendly guy, now it's going to be near impossible, or so I feel.
Eh, sorry srother, I like the image, it was this or the Tao Te Ching.
You poor wretch. Nothing can save you except your own willpower.
I won't wish you good luck because I the world detests you. It's in humanity's genes to hate deformity and ugliness of any form. I'll smile at you and be polite, but deep down I'll be revulsed by your being.
>Removing longing seems to almost be removing life to me, and I think the second option -while harder - is more attractive.
Nigger could you have specified you're not OP.
The second option seems shitty to me (hence why this thread was created) and I wonder how accesible the first option really is.
>Even the Buddha stressed the importance of community
And he also stressed the importance of not becoming too attatched to those kinds of things, too. And I think that's the most central aspect of his teachings lol.
>I'll smile at you and be polite, but deep down I'll be revulsed by your being.
All good mate, we folks get used to that sooner or later, the troubling idea is growing mature alone. As I said, I enjoy, more or less, my lifestyle and there's always encouragment to be had from people like Seneca and Epictetus and whose not but really you begin to wonder how applicable their teachings are to you in the long run.
Whose to say most of these happy despite the circumstances success story writers (be it historically or now) weren't just innately tough as nails, I mean Epictetus was a slave for God's sake, if he can climb out of that he's basically a demi-god, follow his advice? I might as well follow in the footsteps of Paul Erdos while I'm at it, see you all after I become the greatest vagabound mathematician of the 22nd century.
I think the deak with attachment was severely, supiciously, underemphasized in this context, I'll try and quote the passage later.
Go to a monastery and become a monk, seriously. Seems dank af and would facilitate the full version of the life you seem to want. Atm you are living the monk life light. Extra light...
Bear in mind this is only if you believe in heart of hearts that this is the way you want to go.
Plenty of deformed folk have good friends, good relationships. It requires character and will to get but in having that you likely attract better friends. In some way it could be framed as a positive, you have to strive harder and build character to get it so you'll likely appreciate it more and have better friends as you'll be able to filter out the posturing shmucks that only have friends as a means to prop up a social perception they're trying to give off
>Go to a monastery and become a monk, seriously. Seems dank af and would facilitate the full version of the life you seem to want. Atm you are living the monk life light. Extra light... >Seems dank >Seems
Wait what experience do you have with monastries? Or Buddhism or Taoism or other "mindfulness" based eastern philosophies (or western philosophies if any exist)
Then he was most likely talking to lay men. He emphasized other subtleties of the practice in the suttas, but he always reverted back to the 4 Noble Truths in the end, and those are really the core aspect of his practice. If you master them in the way they are supposed to be tackled (you know, how each Noble Truth has a way to be "completed"? Read about that) and the 3 Marks of Existence you will master his teachings.
I think you should stop going directly to the Nikayas if you don't have a good grasp on the philosophy beforehand, as they can get confusing at times. You need a good teacher or commentator to guide you.
I can guarantee it's not because you are deformed that people don't get with you. That might be a slight barrier, but I can guarantee you it's your character which is the main deterrent.
Work on that and you will get more friends. However, friendship alone won't bring you happiness either my friend.
"There's no Way to Happiness, Happiness is the Way." - some fat memester
>I think you should stop going directly to the Nikayas if you don't have a good grasp on the philosophy beforehand, as they can get confusing at times. You need a good teacher or commentator to guide you.
Tbh I'm too repulsed by Buddhist metaphysics (I do love the arrow head sutra though) and sceptical of it's take on psychology to honestly get into it. I've used examples linking to Buddhism since it seems popular on this board.
Can you suggest any book that would be appropriate for the sceptic? Preferably one that cites research on the relation between Buddhist practices such as meditation and happiness?
You don't need to get too much into their metaphysics tbqh, but you shouldn't be skeptical of their approach to psychology. They were ages ahead of their time, and a lot of his concepts on psychological suffering and the mastery of the mind are getting really popular on the psych Academia nowadays.
Monasteries only what I've read and seen in videos. As for mindfulness I've read quite a lot, a bit of buddhism and nothing of the tao
>Work on that and you will get more friends. However, friendship alone won't bring you happiness either my friend.
Not finding love is the bigger issue but this board is not the place to ask about that nor is there any need to given that I've really given up.
The choice now really only boils down to a solitary li(t)(fe)style or a hero. Hence why I'm posting on this board since I feel a lot of you are into Eastern Philosophy which I currently worry might be too naive.
Thanks for the advice though.
Oh I forgot to recc some books. The best intro book I've read is "What the Buddha Taught", by Walpola Rahula.
If you still want to read straight from the Pali Canon, then start with "In the Buddha's Words" by Bikkhu Boddhi, where he makes a good introduction exposing the main aspects of the teachings before presenting a collection of the most relevant suttas.
>which I currently worry might be too naive.
heh, I thought that too... then I realized I was the naive one.
Give it time, you still lack wisdom son, it's that simple.
>You don't need to get too much into their metaphysics tbqh Isn't reading Buddhist scriptures while skipping that very tedious though?
>They were ages ahead of their time, and a lot of his concepts on psychological suffering and the mastery of the mind are getting really popular on the psych Academia nowadays.
Papers along these lines, preferably with metrics, would go a long way for me.
>"In the Buddha's Words" by Bikkhu Boddhi,
Read that, it's where I found the sutras about friendship and it's importance (not sure if you're the same user I talked to about that). Thanks for the other rec.
How old are you friend?
>Isn't reading Buddhist scriptures while skipping that very tedious though?
For me the best parts are their takes on psychology and philosophy. The Karma and Rebirth theory is amusing, but you kinda have to go down the rabbit hole to really apreciate how they fit in the big picture.
>Papers along these lines, preferably with metrics, would go a long way for me.
Read up on MBSR and how people think it's the new hot shit for a lot of mental illnesses. That's just a simplified version of Buddhist psychology.
Do you still have a dick?
>How old are you friend?
25. I was like you until I was about 18, then I decided to work on myself, but it was only after 4 to 5 years of practice that I started getting the big "enlightenments" in my life. The Buddhist practice is really really subtle, mate, it's really easy to doubt everything and not make progress, but when you do, it's truly amazing.
The feeling of freedom I got when I got to the point I knew I was able to accept and let go of anything I deemed unworthy of my attention, that alone was worth all the time I spent sitting in a goddammed pillow. But it took time, and it took some "eureka" moments that were somewhat outside my control.
>Note that as of now I only beleive in the first 2 noble truths. Then you need to get deeper into Buddhism, you've immersed nothing but your toe in it, it seems. All existing/conditioned things have causes that bring them to existence, and they all have an end as well. Dukkha is also a conditioned thing, therefore it has to have an end, and cannot even arise if the conditions aren't there. The 4 Truths are really 4 stages of one single truth, believing in the parts but not the whole is nonsensical. And in fact you shouldn't believe but it to the test.
>the translation I read particularly elevated the importance of friends Not any random friends, spiritual friends. But regardless, having friends won't necessarily solve your problems anyway. If you want to have friends, work on making some. If it's not something you care about, stop worrying about the future. Nobody can tell you whether a solitary life will work for you or not; there's a documentary about Chinese Buddhist hermits called 'Amongst White Clouds', and in it one of the monks says something like "if you got your bases covered, you can live alone in the mountains. Otherwise it will be hell." That monk and all the others evidently live perfectly happy lives, but that doesn't mean we'd all be happy there. It's something only you can know.
>Tbh I'm too repulsed by Buddhist metaphysics It's normal, unlike other religions the bulk of it is about how existence ultimately sucks instead of giving empty reassurances. It's not something you have to accept in entirety from the get-go aside from what pertains to the Four Noble Truths anyway. The rest you'll have to investigate. >and sceptical of it's take on psychology to honestly get into it. As put it, it's a perfectly sound and correct take. And the best part is that you can test its validity anyway, so again this isn't something you need to "buy" before getting into anything.
Watch my little pony. I hear that shit cheers people up.
>the bulk of it is about how existence ultimately sucks
I hate this misconception, which even Nietzsche bought into. Buddhism doesn't that existence sucks, only that suffering is one intrinsic part of it. This means that Buddhism isn't a "life-denying" philosophy, but rather a "suffering-denying" one. It aims to tackle that precise aspect of existence, not all of it.
I know I sounded pedantic about this point, but it's such a important detail to grasping the philosophy and still a lot of people get it wrong.
If you want to pay less mind to the material, and more mind towards the things of the spirit and the soul, Plato's Socratic dialogues are good to read. They contain arguments concerning the immortality of the soul, the imperfect and illusory corporeal, emphasis on mindfulness.
I believe that enlightenment and self knowledge cannot be spoonfed conveniently by a third party. Those who say otherwise, particularly those who want your time and money, are fraudulent.
It is an active and ongoing process. Read the wisdom of philosophical and religious texts which have endured the ages and construct; Hebrew, Christian, Gnostic, Platonic, Cynical, Buddhist, etc. Contemplate common threads and what appeals to you, and what doesn't.
As for my own outlook and observations, I try and live mindfully, cleanly, honestly, and to commune with nature and others in order to free the soul from isolation, and to generate anti-entropic forces of organisation. Entropy will overcome, but we can have our small victories and therein lies the pathos and meaning of things.
to clarify and correct, third paragraph should say 'construct your own meanings'
I agree with Calicles from Plato's Gorgias. Any man that wastes his prime years on books and philosophy should be beaten. You are still a man OP, it doesn't matter if you aren't aesthetic. You are defined by how you live and what you believe, not how you look. So live with purpose.
I went through some depressing times in my mid 20's. I was completely immersed in zen for years but then I realised that it's just impossible to live in this western world and adhere to the four noble truths. You still need to work, you still need to live. If you aren't prepared to leave everything behind and live like an ascetic/monk then you are just bullshitting yourself with feel good escapism and that is disservice to buddhism imo.
Your mediocre life will lead to despair. You WILL hate yourself eventually, no matter how many times you read The Dao. So live dude. Don't retreat from the world because you are ugly. Don't envy beautiful men either. People respect an ugly motherfucker who can fix a car, cook a meal and act like he could actually father children. Only fags care about how pretty a man is anyway.
Become a man you can respect. Then you will find peace.
I know a man in Greece who blew half his mouth off with a shotgun who has a reasonably nice, admittedly very domineering but also hardworking, wife from Romania. There's no reason you have to resign yourself.
Is your face disfigured?
tumblr tier post for a tumblr tier mind
Try going to a meditation retreat.
Sometimes practicing with others can help.
All the mettā to you.
all this eastern shit, jesus christ
just b yrslf, just roll up your sleeves OP.
smoke weed lift heavy weights
Lovely spirit. I'll still be repulsed by your physical appearance when I see you, but good people will respect success