Veeky Forums school stories

>be me in 9th grade
>lit teacher gives assignment to write a short story
>lit teacher is Westboro Baptist Church-tier homophobe
>decide to write literal gay tragic love story for shits and giggles
>submit assignment
>damnitfeelsgoodtobeagangsta.mp4
>wait for the teacher to get pissed off
>teacher calls me
>I get to her office
>sees her crying
>says, "user... that was beautiful."
>feelsgoodman.jpg
>she continues, "...but it's unethical, so, I'm gonna have to write you a B+"
>mfw

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>rhetorical essay
>Owls by Mary Oliver
>call owls corporate America
>flowers are communist
>got a 35
I memed him so fucking hard.

>be me in 8th grade
>that quiet kid who sits in the back of class and is barely noticeable
>we have to write a short story and read it for class the next day
>i don't finish story
>worried that i'll get a bad grade for it being incomplete
>i never get called to read
>i never get asked to complete the assignment
>even the teacher forgot i exist

...

That's what you get for being a faggot.

>high school senior, AP Lit
>write a story about a kid who ducks out of class to go to the bathroom and rubs his foreskin back and forth while trying not to look at another guy's dick
>"you write with wit and originality"
>"but the conflict is on too small a scale"

>be me in 8th grade
>teacher assigns us to write a poem
>can be about anything we want
>forget about it until the last minute
>ohshit.exe
>write the most emo piece of shit i can manage for shits and giggles
>submit it
>week later my parents get a phone call
>"we are very concerned about anons mental health"
>tfw get put on the schools "suicide watch"
>tfw be forced to visit the school councillor for the rest of the year

>"but the conflict is on too small a scale"

>9th grade
>Told to read odyssey for class and some other canon work on the side
>Had to write reports for each
>Also had to pick several complex sentences from each and break them down grammatically
>Don't do it and call English class dumb bullshit
>permanently stunt my grammar skills for not learning the basics
>Be a piece of shit human being

>that time I went full /pol/ on an immigration essay
>that time I went full /pol/ on an analysis of Eli Weasel's night
>that time I went full /pol/ on my senior exams
It's the state's fault for choosing curriculum that enrages my autism.

Kek

Jack?

>freshman year college
>reading the wasteland
>instructor says Eliot took "verbatim" from Chaucer's prologue, class nods
>mentions Eliot's use of iambs, class nods
>be me (loser) in back corner, concerned we may be learning the wrong things
>ask meekly "isn't it the opposite of Chaucer? and what's the opposite of an iamb called again? (allowing her to maintain instructor status by correcting her only subtlely)
>spends like five minutes humming and hawing because she does not know
>finally she just says "oh well, forget it. so anyways iambic blahblah Chaucer verbatim etc."
>slouch down into chair
>commence doodling
>wonder how this can be allowed
>frequently skip class afterward
>Veeky Forums is right about everything

I like how you do not give your instructor's answer to make it look like you are superior and not a juvenile dumbass

no

>be in 2nd or 3rd grade
>given simple shitty children's book to read for the class
>finish it in a day because it's 100 pages of simple prose and I'm not illiterate
>get perfect on all the class work on it so far
>teacher finds out I'm not reading the book during class reading time
>she somehow puts it in her head that I've cheated
>fail every single assignment based on that book for now on
>mfw on top of that she bans me from reading "adult" books in class because she thinks it's an act just to "prove" I'm a good enough reader to read a simple 100 page book for children in a day

When I complained to my parents about it they just gave me the "You have to respect authority" speech, even though my father was an English teacher and could easily explain my precocious reading skills.

When I was in third or fourth grade, we had to write a paper about who our hero was. For some reason, I decided to write that my hero was Death, because it was capable of stopping suffering in people's lives. I turned it in, didn't think anything of it. Then, a couple weeks later, I got called in to talk with the councilor, where she made me read some book about a kid whose family died and sortof provoked me into crying about a dead dog of mine. I then had to re-do the essay.

There was usually a list of books that you could pick one from. For some reason Chronicle of a Death Foretold was always there and I probably did three essays about it in a row, as there was always a new teacher.

Tbh, teachers often can't answer basic questions.

I remember my science teacher got confused when I asked her if Fire was a liquid or gas, since we were learning about states, and she said "Everything" was a solid, liquid or gas.

Since learned it's a plasma; go figure.

Isn't this exactly what happened in To Kill a Mockingbird

Nothing from "school" has bothered me anymore.

I've taken responsibility for my life.

>"...but it's unethical, so, I'm gonna have to write you a B+"

She did the right thing.

>be in ninth grade
>early childhood education class
>given assignment to write nine paragraph essay about the discipline system we use with the children
>dick around for two weeks in class instead of writing essay
>skip class the day it's due to write the essay
>spend all day until 6 in the morning writing abap essay
>fits rubric perfectly
>she gives out grades that Friday
>I got a 60
>She said my essay was extremely well written but I didn't include two examples per paragraph so she docked me 40 points
>check rubric
>says verbatim, "two examples" not ,"two examples per paragraph"
>call her a cunt
>get suspended

>have Jewish English teacher in 11th grade
>the whole class was essays about a certain "argument" topic, and you must pick a side.
>in every essay, I google Hitler quotes and if there was a quote that supported any side, I would take the opposite side. My rebuttal paragraph would be "Hitler once said _____", followed by some bullshit I threw together about why it's wrong.
>got an A in the class and a 2 page letter of recommendation

Stupid kike

All of my English classes were glorified "How to follow instructions" courses. I'm glad that I learned this early or else I'd have spent every year arguing again and again how my particular style of citation was far more understandable than the one expected in the curriculum, and how a paragraph doesn't need minimum 8 sentences to be a paragraph.

Coming this summer, august 5th...

"SUICIDE WATCH"

the hit new DCEU movie featuring a rag tag bunch of villains, such as...

"Scene Queen; Kills her enemies with her narcissistic nastiness"

"The Harmer; His visceral sprays of blood coming from his mutant wrists are so powerful, they can punch holes in steel"

"Edgelorde; His edge is so sharp he can cut the fabric of reality"

"Columbine; Possesses an arsenal of weapons he uses to shoot up annoying Chads and Girls who don't notice him"

etc etc

I notice you, user.

>Be Britbong
>6th form English Lit
>Teacher's pet because I was the class clown, yet also good at the subject
>Conquered Chaucer's Pardoner's Tale with ease
>Write a coursework essay about it
>Pretty much half-assed it, using only the work itself and one companion book
>Somehow get an A*
>Everyone else gets Cs/Ds
>She walks in on the result day: late, visibly fuming and completely silent
>Walks in front of each student, basically throwing them their essays (some pages fall on the floor/etc)
>Saves mine for last
>Starts screaming at my friends and fellow students, holding up my essay in front of everyone and asking most of them, on an individual basis, why they couldn't do as well as me

That was the first and last time I ever felt smug with good reason.

Why would you be smug over this? Won't the other boys beat you up and call you a nerd and stuff?

>ebin
Or maybe you're stupid for thinking that he'd go home and cry every night because you quoted Hitler. Or maybe I'm stupid for believing this bs story.

Sure he's a britbong but he didn't come out of The Inbetweeners.

Did you stop reading like halfway through his post

>4th grade
>have to write a poem
>copy something from Animal Crossing (the little turtle boat guy)
>teacher loves it and tell my parents I have a future in writing

>be me
>think of something that didn't happen
>post it on Veeky Forums

Maybe you're the retard desu. Seeing as fire is in fact not plasma.

You know how metal will glow red if you heat it up? Well it's the same thing but with a gas instead

>be me 7th grade
>have to present a biography on a historical figure
>pick stalin from a list
>a month passes and it's time to do the presentation
>didn't read up on stalin and still have no clue who he is other than a few simple facts
>day of presentation
>get up and start talking out of my ass about Stalin
>say he was a great leader who helped out Russians and whatnot
>make up enough shit to at least get a passing grade
>favorite teacher now thinks my parents are communists

>early childhood education class
>ninth grade

wut

That's really shitty. As a high school English teacher, there have been times where I've misspoken, temporarily forgotten something, or actually not known the answer to something (every once in a while even a 15 year old who has been made to suffer the U.S. public education system is intelligent enough to ask a question that stumps me). I'm not afraid to admit I goofed or don't know something. I'll just correct myself (usually playing it off with a joke) or find the answer while the kids are working on something or after class and share it with the class at the next opportunity.

I can't imagine being willing to spread misinformation among my students rather than admit I'm wrong or not absolutely all-knowing when it comes to my subject matter.

>11th grade
>get As and Bs on English assignments
>next assignment I reveal to the teacher who is some Pakistani terrorist loving bitch that I'm jewish in my assignment
>start getting D's and low C's on future assignments
>bring my work to another prof which is really cool and ask him to grade this for me and ask of that deserves a D? He says no, my assignment was well written ,well structured, arguments were concise and overall convincing .
>consider bringing it up to principal but don't
>one day I will be that whores boss and will make her life a living hell

No, which is why I replied. He says "stupid kike" like trick'd xD him or something.

Yup. This totally happened.

It's obviously a class for retards who had kids in middle school, didn't you not have black people at your school?

>doing 6th form english lit
>teacher knows her shit and is really nice, always tries to encourage people to read more
>plugs Elena Ferrante, East of Eden, Milton, Yeats, stuff like that
>one of like three people in class of 15ish who actually read outside of school
not really a story but I don't get why people study english lit when they don't actually have an interest in it
is this common in other places, Veeky Forums?

>Be in English class, 9th grade
>Teacher is a total libertard
>Makes us read poems by a gay nigger
>Gives us a test on this poem (tnellen.com/cybereng/matoson.html)
>Repeatably says that poems can mean whatever you want if you have a reason for it.
>Smartest kid in the class decides to take the poem 100% literally
>I quote "The stairs in the poem are in very bad shape, and should be repaired by a professional"
>Gets a 60 on the test
>Didn't even care
>mfw

I love it when anons complain about how bad their teachers and peers are

Maybe you should have gone to a fucking good school?

Fuck you user, I do not like you because you are black

>be me in 10th grade creative writing class
>teacher gives us an interpretive writing assignment
>he gives us small slips of paper with random words on them and we're supposed to write a story or something based on it
>mine said "Uranus"
>I thought I was funny so I wrote a ten page essay on bareback fucking
>turned it in
>teacher calls to me while he reads it
>"would you come into my office for a second?"
>oh-shit.jpg
>think he's gonna yell at me or something
>he bends over
>looks at me
>"would you please demonstrate?"

Are mods using this thread to identify all the fictional coloredtexting underagefags?

ebin thread, posting these on )r)Veeky Forums kekbros!!

>Don't bring it up, suffer her bullshit.
>Complain and feel like a whiny Jew.

Sucks being Jewish, bro. See you next year in Jerusalem.

What if you cant choose one retard

Lel what a pussy

You're really fucking retarded.

Too stupid for scholarships detected

>>"but the conflict is on too small a scale"
This is my new favourite criticism.