Writing an Admissions Essay

So I'm 18 and I'm applying for college, but I'm unsure of myself in writing my essay.

I'm very intellectual and read and think all the time (politics, philosophy, psychology, etc.), so much so that I want to become a professor.

I'm thinking about addressing this prompt on the Common App:

>Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.

I figured it would be a good idea for me to write about my intellectual appetite, however, I'm afraid I'll come off like a pretentious pseudo-intellectual dork (which I am not, I'm gravely serious about the intellectual process and about becoming a professor) and it will be off-putting to the admissions staff.

I don't have trouble writing. I'm regarded as an excellent writer. But I'm worried about the sort of feelings I may provoke in the admissions staff about me identifying myself as an "intellectual", something which coming from someone with no qualifications sounds pretentious and may be a silly thing to write about on this prompt.

trust me, you suck ass at writing. admissions office knows this. just make up a story about overcoming the odds or some shit. no one will ever remember your admissions essay.

It would be nice to have an essay that actually helps me get in though.

I refuse to write some cliche garbage.

Honestly, don't try to sound smart or intellectual unless you can show, with results of some sort, that you're smart or intellectual.

Admissions offices are mainly looking for one type of student: the person who will bring the college lots of fame and/or money in either the distant or (preferably) near future. They don't just want people who are smart and talented -- they want people who can put the name of their school in bright and shining lights, as free advertising. The good thing is that there are many ways to be *that* kind of student; the bad thing is that high schools rarely, if ever, cultivate those mentality/skills.

So, going back to you:

Would your intellectual appetite work as a basis for your personal essay?

Maybe.

If you can show that you're not just a consumer of those subjects but have "interesting" ideas of your own, then sure, go ahead. Of course, you'll come off as young and dumb, but that's perfectly fine -- being willing to embarrass and reveal yourself to strangers is probably a good thing. Being earnest about learning and being interested in the *applications* of what you learn, though, outweigh whatever awkwardness you might create in your admissions audience.

So, keep that shit in mind and write your damn essay.

Thanks for the advice.

Who fucking cares about the admissions essay. Just write some bullshit that will get you in. If you really are intellectual, and you really want to be a professor, people will notice. Put the work in, faggot

If you're trying to show how brilliant you potentially are, focus more on seriousness and earnestness than talent. You're going to look dumb no matter what you do at your age. But you can set yourself apart from all the ten million rich kids who see university as a vacation where they'll spend half their lives. Convey that you see it for what it is: a few years to bootstrap your knowledge and critical abilities and maybe produce some neat scholarship.

Everyone wants to be a smart dude, and every kid who went to a fancy private school is going to look like a precocious little apple polisher. And you're all going to be dilettantes because you're teenagers. But if you convey that you're aware of dilettantism as a phenomenon, and aware that university is an opportunity to transform yourself into a real scholar, that might help. Dogged (but not naive) determination and unusual dedication are potentially interesting personality traits.

More cynically, if you're looking at hard data that they will appreciate, emphasise skills you already have. Like languages that you know. Maybe classical ones, even.

I had to write grad school applications and it was dehumanising as fuck even when the pool was pretty small and the stakes were higher. At least there it was kind of plausible to be tooting your own horn. I can't imagine writing US entry exams for undergrad. How do you plausibly claim to be special, out of billions of identical teenage dipshits, without overstating it?

Don't act smart, you're 18, you're not.

What you've described is something I have become aware of in recent years. Like a lot of "smart" teenagers, I was a little narcissistic prick, spouting my "wonderful" opinions on every topic I pleased.

The more I read and the more I matured I outgrew this mindset. As you can tell from my original post, I am absolutely terrified of being identified as a quack. And it's very difficult to not appear that way when you have no qualifications whatsoever.

But I feel myself to be very intellectually honest and aware of the limits of my mind.

I applied to school last year using that same prompt, with basically the same idea. Here's my essay: it was about my interest in ancient history, specifically Mesopotamian civilization.

It's awkward, flamboyant, and pretentious as f u c k, but I got admitted to a top liberal arts college anyway. Don't worry about it.
It's a good thing, too, since I only applied to one school.

I'll admit it gave me a chuckle. But it's worth noting that you were admitted nonetheless.

Got to "in the midst of troubling affairs" and I already want to put your application in the trash.

Now I'm at "set my gaze upon the ancient one", and I'm gonna stop. I've had enough.

To a liberal arts college, bro.

>I'm very intellectual
>politics, philosophy, psychology
>my intellectual appetite
>the intellectual process
>I'm regarded as an excellent writer.

Yours will be the first application I reject.

audible kek at the miniature of OP's pic

good writing and interesting topic choices will get you where you want to go

at an Ivy right now, dated a girl that wrote about thinking about Aristotelian ethics while in Italy, got into every school she applied to. Write well, don't write something cliched, and if you're going to write something 'intellectual,' per se, don't half ass it.

The last paragraph is trying way too hard to impress with its prose, until then it had potential.

>To a liberal arts college, bro.
A top one, if he ain't lying.

...

You sound like a pretentious little fuckwad just from that post. I doubt you'll be able to mask it in your admissions essay.

I wouldn't overthink it. Just write what you want. Most colleges are run by pretentious fuckwads anyway, so coming across as a sophomoric douche will probably be a boon.

So you want to be professor and can't even manage to write a convincing admission essay without outside help? You're supposedly an excellent writer but can't find the right wording and manipulate the emotions of your readers?

Boy oh boy.

While the prose is pretty bad it did show your understanding and fascination of the subject which is what it's all about after all.

>I'm very intellectual and read and think all the time (politics, philosophy, psychology, etc.), so much so that I want to become a professor.
You could make that sound better for sure but you write it from an immature perspective p much. One thing they're certainly looking for are people who are well rounded enough that they don't fixate on "becoming a professor" or "getting a PhD": you haven't even got in to do an undergraduate course yet and there you are planning a whole academic career without experience.

Try to work out what it is that interests you and drives you beyond the childish "I want to be a spaceman astronaut" telos. Think about what you think about and how you feel when you come into contact with such ideas and why that is an interest to you and how it impacts your life now.

You did the humanities equivalent of "I liked legos" that you see everywhere in STEM applications. It doesn't help, admissions try to see past it uni if your application is solid enough.

I remember in an interview with DFW on teaching, Wallace mentioned how almost all of his students' (at Pomona iirc) writing essentially said "I'm clever." Now, most of these students probably were clever, but it made their writings all come off as trite. If you can show that you're clever (or have some value to the college) without hitting the reader over the head with it, you'll be fine. Nuance and subtlety are things that many teens lack. If you have them, show them.

Here's some more advice. In most of your applications, you'll submit a laundry list of awards, extracurriculars, and honors/AP classes. These mean nothing to top schools. They only show how privileged you are, not your aptitude. So, use your essays to explain how you've not just had opportunities handed to you, but show how you seized those opportunities.

>I'm afraid I'll come off like a pretentious pseudo-intellectual dork
You already have

This is pretty good advice.

Also, I would suggest that you consider talking about how you've fucked up in the past, or how you've failed at something, and then talk about how you responded to the situation and succeeded.

More and more people in positions like hiring employees (at places like NASA even) and whatnot are coming out saying that they tend to reject applicants who have never once been fired from a job or failed at a project, etc. Sort like dealing with adverse circumstances, the idea is that you show your character more in how you handle failure or poor decision-making. Also, everyone fucks up, everyone makes mistakes, everyone fails, so if you're willing to be open about it rather than just rattling off whatever leadership position you had on the school debate team while lettering in two sports and holding a part-time job at the local grocery store, you come off as more "real" and separate yourself from everyone else.

End of the day, the essay really won't matter for anything unless they're on the fence about letting you in. And if that's the case, then it really is about separating yourself in some way. What makes you different? Why should they give you a spot over the next guy with the same credentials?