Are any of you not insufferable irl?

Is that some John Green excerpt?

I'm intentionally an asshole online just because I have the right to be one, but in real life when I'm talking to an actual person I have no urge to do so. I generally like people, and they seem to feel similarly about me.

I'm also John Green.

read the dating profile summary I just wrote and tell me if you would date me.

Same, I interact with people much differently online than face to face. I barely speak to people in public though.

Actually, I think the reason why people like me in person is because I prefer to listen rather than speak, and I pretty much never talk about myself. That's a very easy and reliable way of getting on people's good side, but it also explains why I barely have any friends.

You sound like a highschooler so no

I'm a smug, cynical cunt, but I always try to be nice to people.

LoL
You're a good writer, saved for future memery, might even post a fedora along with it.

>I think the reason why people like me in person is because I prefer to listen rather than speak
Sounds familiar. Do you have obscure hobbies and interests that you don't mention to people you talk to everyday for months?

Yeah, a lot of people don't know that I make music and have actually completed several full albums. There are also very few people who ever find out that I speak German. I tend not to bring up anything that isn't directly relevant to the topic that's being discussed because I used to do that all the time when I was a little dumb ass and I hate everything about myself when I was younger. I was a fucking pretentious cunt and a lot of people hated me, but I'm much more well liked now.

i'm a girl

So, no?

is this actually real??

I would date the stone that makes your reading place

I'm not insufferable at all frankly, I just rarely talk to people face to face so I get out of practice; end result being that I probably seem arrogant or very detached.

I literally have high functioning autism and talking to people for me is an embarrassing hell. It's so stupid, because somehow I'm so different from other people that I actually become a black sheep. I often wonder how there's all these consistencies with human behavior, when it's fundamentally absurd. For me, interacting with humans has always been a matter of trying to behave in a way that I feel is appropriate for the situation that I'm in. When I was younger I literally did feel like I was literally just a confused robot, but now that I'm older I get it a little better after lots of observation and practice. It still makes me weary as fuck and very embarrassed when I'm around others, because I feel like sooner or later they'll realize that I'm just faking it and I actually have no idea how to behave like an actual human being. That's always a fear that I have, that people will figure out that I actually have no idea how to be a human being. Sometimes though, you can tell people you have autism, so it makes them have a little more sympathy for you, but I don't understand what makes me so different and why I'd even have to tell someone something so embarrassing in the first place. Telling someone I have autism to me is like telling someone I have an embarrassing fetish or something.

holy fuck, I've never been on Veeky Forums before, if this thread is an indicator for what the average poster is like, then it would seem that everyone on Veeky Forums is a fucking autist

tl;dr

And if I was a chick on a dating site I wouldn't read it either unless you were especially good looking.

hahaha ebin! :^)

Ya I'm nearly mute.

no, everyone thinks i'm a faggot

(You)

Not me. I'm truly awful.

no for me

I like to think I'm likable.

Holy shit I only skimmed this and it's ridiculous. Your power level is very high. Don't try to be deep in any sort of fashion in a fucking dating profile summary.

I wouldn't know I haven't had a friend since middle school (19 now).

I get excessively mad at friends/people over things that a normal person wouldn't get so mad about and also that I myself think was silly after a few days, has resulted in me alienating myself from a lot of people I was once close to.

PURPLE POSTER STRIKES AGAIN!

I'm not sure, it doesnt seem so, but i'll probablly find out this year

enneagram type 9 lethargy

you look forward to the singularity because it would bring peace?

I'm pretty sarastic but I'm also really social

...

It runs in the family.

Both me and my gf are insuffrable cunts. We spend most of our time talking shit about others or just being sarcastic.

This. People tell me all their horseshit. I don't make like I'm either interested not disinterested. I shitposting across this site like a fucking virus, but I'm actually a self-admitted nice person, and people trust me with aspects of their lives. Most of my acquaintances know little to nothing about me, but I know everything about them. I kinda like it that way. I know I'm a good person at heart and will always be open to doling out advice, but online I'll be a dickhead because lol.

I'm v. sufferable IRL tbqh.

The worst part about me is that I make a huge point of hiding my powerlevel, even from people who know that I'm a very heavy reader. I hate the idea of seeming pretentious so I concede to everyone else's opinion in conversation and emphasize that whatever they're saying is over my head but that I find it very interesting.

I inevitably come off as more pretentious than if I had been candid.

This is especially frustrating because whenever I get drunk I am very open about my opinions on books and the people around me love listening to this. I have some friends who will ply me with drinks and bring up a book they like just to hear what I have to say about it.

I wish I was dead.

...

I only know how to get along with people if I can argue with them. If I don't think I can argue with them, I totally placate them and agree with them on everything. But I'm getting worse at the facade, and at this point I can hardly hold it up and that seems to come across as even more offensive, like "how can this guy think he matters so much to me that he has to lie to get along with me."

I'm basically insufferable, yes.

So people love listening to you talk about books, to the point of getting you drunk so you open up.
Doesn't sound like a terrible problem to me.

Over the years ive just gotten more and more honest and direct when talking with people, which at first isnt so bad because they can still handle it, but with time I guess they just get worn out and think im a rude asshole. Im not autistic, I just dont have the patience to sugarcoat things for people, and as I dont want to hurt them, I try to express my directness through jokes and I like to make fun of myself as well, but this only helps to some extent..

Cons:
- I dont have a lot of friends and I am a loner
Pros:
- This way of communicating actually helps a lot when flirting with girls, so its not hard to get sex

Yeah, I've got loads of friends and treat them well, I understand that they all want different things out of a friend so I change my behaviour to be appropriate, nothing serious, I'll just be more passive or won't talk about politics with some of them

People are usually very surprised when they find out I'm interested in literature

>loner
>have friends
>had sex
>talk to people

reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Its much worse to feel alone when surrounded by people

shut up normie

you already revealed yourself.

No it fucking isnt lol you have no idea what youre talking about

Try living in your parents attic for your entire fucking life with no social life and not even your parents loving you anymore. I envy normie pieces of shit like you who have friends to go out with and are able to obtain a girlfriend to just feel loved. I would do fucking anything to just feel loved for one fucking day.

>be college dropout
>work at Starbucks in rich white neighborhood
>life aspirations are to wander the world while reading and composing music

what I feel in my heart is very genuine, OKAY??

>I would do fucking anything to just feel loved for one fucking day.
Would you even get a job, groom yourself and go out and meet people?

B T F O
T
F
O
L M A O
M
A
O

thats a no

I already do faggot. I said I have no social life, that doesn't mean I don't work or go to the gym. I do both. I'm trying to better myself.

>One best friend

you don't deserve shit
stop thinking u do

I don't think so. I'm a social chameleon and can get along with pretty much anyone. The trouble is that I have no real friends, and have been single for about 2 years as well.

I may have a touch of the 'tism. No idea. I've been on a few dates but they're always a little awkward and never really go anywhere. The trouble is that, where I live at least, everyone is a colossal plebeian. This invariably means that in almost all my daily interactions, I have to dumb myself down to their level. In terms of the girls, I'm talking GoT/Harry Potter-loving alcoholics. In terms of the guys, I'm talking Marvel/DC-loving gamer morons.

My only 'friend' is my ex, who cheated on me. Found out on Christmas Eve, about 3 years ago. Pretty pathetic, heh. She gets me better than anyone, though.

I have terrible social skill and self-criticism. It is very hard to make new connection. I am not comfortable with myself neither with anyone else. I feel constant need to isolate myself for long period of time.

My misanthropy is so strong that I need a few drinks in me to go to the grocery store but I'm generally very nice to individuals because I see them as victims of existence desu

>My misanthropy is so strong that I need a few drinks in me to go to the grocery store but I'm generally very nice to individuals because I see them as victims of existence desu

Pretty much me, minus the drinking. I try to reconcile the stupidity of most modern people with the fact that they generally can't help it.

>My only 'friend' is my ex, who cheated on me.

I feel sick of my stomach just by imagining this happening to me, and I think this is the chief reason I'm afraid of getting a gf: because I'm sure it's going to happen sooner or later.

You need to play the game if you want to win, bro. I just happened to lose, but that's the risk you take.

I don't have any close friends, but I did manage to get a spouse. People still seem to like me despite not wanting to be close friends, but I'm never sure if they're just humoring me or not.

I manage to get jobs that have in-person interviews, so that's probably a point in my favor too.

I'm not confrontational or angry either online or irl. Despite the fact that I do talk a lot, I'm always "the quiet one" offline. Especially by in-laws.

Great parody....I hope

I'm at my best when life is kicking me in the ass. It keeps me humble and grounded.
Otherwise, I drift toward a certain arrogance that can go unchecked and devolve into an overly independent attitude and misanthropic tendencies.
I would like very much to have the balance and patience and goodwill without having it wrung out of me by failure and sadness.

>I'm at my best when life is kicking me in the ass. It keeps me humble and grounded.

We can trade lives, bro. At the moment, it keeps dangling carrots in front of me, before beating the shit out of me with the stick of reality.

I'm a pretty inoffensive character IRL.

I'm pretty okay.

There's a balance to be sought in it, between hubris and despair, between the unbridled id and the timid superego.
It would be really nice to be able to have control over the dial that measures out when we shine and when we undergo purification by fire.
Stay strong, friend; just not too strong.

This has to be satire

If this is unironically you're the literal definition of B A S E D

That depends. Are you nice to me? Then I'm nice to you. Fuck around with me and I'll punch your head in and stamp on it.

Can sort of relate but people never told me that. I guess one of the problems is sometimes I stay in absolute silence for 5/10 mins after talking

...

Nah, I can be pretty hideous. I do have a v cute gf though

I'm trying my best desu.

People enjoy talking to you, you should be glad. I do get what the problem is though. We just both need to learn to stop overthinking everything.

why are you so mean to him

entry-level opinions, pleb

Of course user. You wouldn't want to share anything TOO deep on your dating profile, so I start off with the surface level stuff.

Cause that makes him cool right? Being mean is what all the cool kids do right? All the cool kids were mean to him in school so therefore if he goes on the internet and is mean just like those other kids that makes him cool too right?.... Right?

I think it's probably more about how things are said rather than what is actually said, but there could be some truth to that, I'm good-looking, probably the only good thing about me T B H

Sorry meant to tag myself not the other person

goodbye sides.

Veeky Forums in a nutshell.