Should I learn learn French or Dutch? I want to learn a nice, easy language

Should I learn learn French or Dutch? I want to learn a nice, easy language.

Dutch is like English speakers who didn't learn German well. French is poncy pretentious English. Whichever your heart feels closer to.

Which is more useful

Who can say?

Neither is all that useful until you can use it.

Dutch is virtually useless. It has some neat things but it's not really spoken outside of Holland, which is a tiny country with a tiny population, and its local culture is generic Eurotrash.

French is alongside German and English as the most productive languages in philosophy, science, literature. And the French had a huge colonial empire so it's spoken everywhere and useful economically.

French people also generally refuse to learn English while Dutch people are among the highest English-speaking European populations.

Dutch is nice if you have a really niche reason for learning it, but that's about it.

French has greater literary utility and functional (as in number of humans you can conberse with with this languahe under your belt) utility thanks to former colonies.

What are some good French books?

>but it's not really spoken outside of Holland, which is a tiny country with a tiny population
did holland secede?

>nice, easy
French is hard, grammatically
Dutch is hard, prononciationally

lol

But French is a level 1 language, how could it be hard?

They're both among the easiest languages for an Anglophone to learn, but French has much more learning resources, so it will be easier. There are also an order of magnitude more people who speak French than who speak Dutch in the world, although many of the French speakers are 70-iQ shitskins who aren't worth talking to. French has the greater literary tradition. So French is the obvious choice.

>Every Dutch person speaks English
>No Frenchman speaks Dutch
>France has written more books
>Dutch chicks are super cool
>French chicks are hairy but pretty

I hooked up with a Dutch semi-gymnast for a while though, and really enjoy the Dutch culture. Very honest and relaxed. Pretty kinky too.

Don't learn dutch.

Dutch is easier than French, but Afrikaans is easier than Dutch from what I've heard.

>French chicks are hairy
?

;)

Is this even a question? French is the clear choice unless you marry a Dutch girl or have some business that requires a long-term commitment in the Netherlands.

If you learn to speak Dutch you will get taller.

If you lose a fight to a midget, you become one.

a-are you serious?

Useful for what? If you live in/are going to live in the Netherlands, Dutch is more useful, if you're going to live in France or Montreal French is more useful.

If you aren't going to either, what do you want to read, watch, or listen to?

They don't wax completely, but they're not hippies either. They just leave a bit of pubes. Landing strip is quite popular.

Wouldn't say a girl with some pubes is "hairy". When I hear "hairy girl" I think about mediterranean girls with their hairy arms and bellies. Portuguese in particular.

>Not learning Spanish

Enjoy reading the best novel of all time from some fucking awful translation

...

>mediterranean girls with their hairy arms and bellies
?

Technically from Spain if you can believe it

Why would anyone learn Dutch over French?

As a Dutch person never in my life have I met a foreigner who bothered to learn our language, some American friends were under the assumption Dutch people natively talk English because literally everyone here speaks it near perfectly. It would bw a HUGE compliment if you as a foreigner could speak Dutch here and will most certainly get you women. In France people would care less.

>Learning an entire language just to read one novel and be able to converse with people from shitty countries with vulgar, trashy cultures

Spot the American

>Should I learn learn French or Dutch? I want to learn a nice, easy language.
French, it's easier to win a 10 billion dollar lottery than find a French person that can speak another language.

>be able to converse with people from shitty countries with vulgar, trashy cultures

I thought Veeky Forums was supposed to be intelligent. Guess I was wrong.

Dutch will be easier. But french will be more useful. French grammar can be shitty at times. I speak both and not as a first language

Dutch is useless. Everyone in the Netherlands speaks English and there's not much worth reading in Dutch. It's also just a shit language in my opinion. I don't know why everyone thinks it's such an easy language, French is easier. French is also more useful because French fucks refuse to speak anything but French with you. There's also a lot more worthwhile literature.

Americans are naturally fearful of languages other than English

French. For the reasons other people have listed, plus if you are an America, French is one of the official languages of Canada and is spoken by about 20% of the population (mostly in eastern ontario, Quebec, and New Brunswick), so you don't have to go all the way to Europe to find a place that is all French. Even a few cities in northern Maine have a fair bit of French. Also in Canada all consumer products are labelled in both English and French always.
Also Americans seem to think French is an intellectual language, so of you learn it you will be able to impress women forever after.


Also a huge portion of Africa speaks French but i doubt that matters to anybody here..

>French

>Spoken by:

Algeria
Cameron
Burkina Faso
Congo
Morocco
Niger
Rwanda
Senegal
Mauritania
Guinea
Burundi

>be able to converse with people from shitty countries with vulgar, trashy cultures

Top kek

french, because its fucking beautiful and has an amazing, rich history in like everything

that and its the 2nd most taught language in the world, only one besides english that's taught on every continent.

armpit, arms, pubes

lots

>Americans

Correction, Anglosphere English native speakers. You think Brits and Aussies learn other languages? Pffft.

>French is also more useful because French fucks refuse to speak anything but French with you.
I hate this meme. Most French people are monolingual. It's like complaining about "these American fucks who refuse to speak anything but English".

I guess this is how baseless stereotypes stay alive.

lol oh yeah when we were declaring the entire of the netherlands was sentenced to death by the inquisition. good times.