ITT: Write out a physical description of yourself as you'd describe one of your characters

old jewish women were always telling him how beautiful his red hair was. he knew he was beautiful, but had always wanted to look a little more masculine, a little less pretty.

6'3", 7% body fat
blue eyes, white, black hair
8.5 inch dong
chiseled jawline
IQ of 160
well-read, patrician
Bench Press = 400
Deadlift = 600
Squat = 600

"He was black, 6'0 and weighed 130lbs. He had a very large penis, and also was a billionaire and he could fly. And shoot lasers out of his hands"

>fat
>greasy
>unkempt
>awkward
>autistic
>sniffs constantly
>only wears stained t shirts and cargo shorts

He said describe yourself, not me.

didyouseewhatididthere

>He's the kind of guy that would do something like get in a taxi and say, "The library, and step on it."

Hair always rested naturally in fashionable manner like hellenistics sculptures: unintentionally pleasing. His eyes were an autist's, and some claim that they were a fair representation. The lips under were perfectly carved to constant dick-sucking due to thick voluptuousness, but he was never into that, unfortunately. Confusingly pleasing to eye, but always, an autist at heart.

I also described zizek desu

A heavyset and broad shouldered blonde male with an unchiseled face that was only handsome at an angle. Full (and clean shaven) cheeks riddled with acne scars receding to plump lips that almost touched his nose when he smiled, showing off an uneven row of teeth.

He was too mature to look like a surly child, but too young for his disdainful glare to harbour any real intent.

...

I would only mention stuff about the character that would give an insight into how he or she lives their lives or how they see themselves.

For myself I would mention that my hair is greasy a lot and I'm unshaven often and that I'm self conscious about my gut and weak arms but I think 'at least I'm tall, I'll always have that'. etc

He was.

6'3 190 pounds 10-12% bodyfat with visible rectus abdominus and serratus anterior. Long torso, full beard, brown eyes, brown hair, head is shaved every 6 months, from there it grows naturally. Defined jawline, dense eyebrows,large nose, large lips, very large hands, very large feet.

I dont write desu.

A faggot.

A green hunting cap squeezed the top of the fleshy balloon of a head. The green earflaps, full of large ears and uncut hair and the fine bristles that grew in the ears themselves, stuck out on either side like turn signals indicating two directions at once. Full, pursed lips protruded beneath the bushy black moustache and, at their corners, sank into little folds filled with disapproval and potato chip crumbs.

Gay

He was tall, thin; a wide face. The first thing she said to him was "user, I love your hair," and promptly began running her hand through it.

"Yeah, yeah. I'll cut it soon," he said in a relaxed baritone.

"No, user, it's perfect like this. How do you get your hair so wavy?"

Before he could answer, Mrs. Land had already slid a hand down his jeans.

"My God!" she exclaimed, grasping his stiffening member.

"Babe," he stammered, "what about Nick?"

"Forgot Nick," she whispered. She had unzipped him and brought his pants to his ankles.

"If I can't have your children, user, then let me have your load." Mrs. Land wrapped her lips around the pulsing head of his cock. She worked her way up the shaft and the blowjob began in earnest.

2bf I am

nor do you look like that

Thats exactly what i look like.
You fucks have extremely low standards, your weakness does not make my strength extraordinary, im still nothing special

lol kk bub everyone on the internet believes you now good job

>Implying I know myself that well

His hair fell about his jaw as much as his shoulders, the accumulation of a lifetime of forgetting, and forgetting how, to maintain himself. His hairline receded, and his top thinned: someone who had never lived, and yet was already being used up.

His eyes lurked not so much with intelligence as inattentiveness, dull in color, too stained with crust and bloodshot to be a window into anything but a mediocre soul.

His hunched spine voiced the theme of his body: his posture was that of someone fretting, and all of him was always fretting; his shapeless torso, doughy yet neither muscular nor fat, with unappealing wiry dark hairs sticking out at unsure angles, as if not knowing where it was supposed to grow; his long eyelashes which gave an unwelcome effeminate, or yet effete, framing to his otherwise thoroughly masculine (and unmanly, male only through its lack of definition or beauty) face; and though out of sight, his undoubtedly rodentlike, shriveled penis, retreating in folds of dead skin, punished from nervous, chronic masturbation into his fretting sickly mind of public hair.

Looks like someone who wants to die.

You missed out 'Exclusively writes fiction'.

>6'3 190 pounds 10-12% bodyfat
Howdy doody monsieur Skelton

So here's this lanky crooked lookin' bloke all in red and white, walks like he's shat hisself and won't look straight at you, just sorta stares at the air above your head like he thinks you can't see him peeking down over the tops of his lower eyelids.

Hairy fella' , you'll know him when you see him; Sergeant Pepper moustache and big ginger sideburns; hair like a seventies porn actor; bloke hair I mean, yeah, like a Chuckle Brother.

You'll know he's the one because he'll talk your ear off about some batty-boy comic-book or some old shite.

Anyway, I want you to kill him and make it look like a suicide.

Fifteen grand in the case and a pistol with nine bullets; fifteen more when I read the obituary.

i kekd

bulby, scruff, thick like his dick, but unexpectedly quite tame.

>Howdy doody monsieur Skelton
why did i laugh so hard at this?

This soft, almost feminine voice came from his thick lips, covered by the long mustache and beard that hadn't been shaved or trimmed in a year, themselves hiding crooked, tea-yellowed teeth.

While the arguments appeared sound, his appearance itself didn't elicit much trust. His pale, sickly, pasty skin combined with his raven black beard and light brown hair, long but balding badly. His delicate factions: the thin eyebrows and tiny eyelashes, mismatched with the thick black beard and a small, thin nose. These could've marked him as a member of any race. Either a short white man of european descent, or a light-skinned middle eastern. Maybe a creole so mixed he could pass for white, or considering his squint, the squint that, observed carefully, surrounded a heavily bloodshot pair of eyes, he could have even been asian. He liked to call himself a "mongrel spic" on the internet, however.

When he stood up, he elicited even less respect. A thin complexion had been ruined by lack of discipline, of any sports whatsoever, clearly, as extremely lean hands and neck were joined by a protruding gut.

If he ever decided to remove the beard, however, he knew he could go back to being as inconspicuous as one can be. But with the beard on, people kept their distance, and he appreciated that.