So it is bad writing?

So it is bad writing?

To me it seems a little like the way Bret Easton Ellis writes but more amateurish

Now post the tumblr post that triggered you so we can have another pol9k thread

jeepers that's tedious and dense
is the character supposed to be dumb and insufferable?

I was literally just about to call it amateurish.
The author doesn't seem to have a very strong command of the language.

-------Veeky ForumsERARY POLICE HERE-------

The excerpt here displays such narcissism that it is more likely a man trying to inhabit the mindset of a woman rather than a woman herself, for, typically, a man does not spend such time narcissistically describing his own body, --- however, if a woman wrote it, it is likely they are very narcissistic if the narrator is a stand-in for them, but possibly not if they are trying to make fun of someone --- a degree of irony that seems too subtle for this poorly written, insipid piece with no redeeming merits to its style. Whoever wrote this, they can't read, they can't think. It's just awful.

END REPORT

The prose is good. The character is clearly obnoxious - and it's interesting the way she fragments her body to describe herself. That we can understand her personality without being explicitly told, "Debora, a narcissist with an avian face" is a mark of craftsmanship.

I would read more.

What is this? i kinda liked it

i stopped at that first sentence

It's entertaining. It does nothing for my soul.

>I make a pretty favorable...
PRETTY FAVOROUBLE WHAT?

>protagonist is female
>describes herself in great detail
Wow!
besides that I hate it when people write like this because its as if they drew a picture of their character but can't put it in the book without it being awkward so they have to hamfist some detailed description

Well put. I agree.

That's not a real critique. You could say the same thing about the description of literally anything in a novel.

You're just a sexist, senpai. Embrace it.

>cushiony
Yes

So, what is it?

Sorry, not sure what book it is, a friend sent it to me

My sentiments as well.

I have encountered this instance in a handful of books I have read, where I would have expected better writing.

It's not bad, just useless and worthless. But I did enjoy the word seeing the word naked there. I'm 19

>the word seeing the word naked
I'll have what you're smoking.

I fucking hate it when the characters start to describe every little detail in their body WHILE LOOKING IN A FUCKING MIRROR FUCK

But if it was written of a guy it would be equally horrible. Unless you mean that type of description is characteristic of a female author, in which case you're the sexist one.

I can't remember the title of the book, but I'm pretty sure it's actually a very ancient demon describing their current host body or something.

If that is true then I absolutely see no problem in the passage

I've read this before. What is it?

Only dece post itt

Written by a woman evidently, so yes.

I, I, I, I, I, I, I, my, my, my

I liked it. For some reason it reminds me of Sylvia Plath although it's not her style, nor do I enjoy her writing very much. I would read more.

does the book make money? if yes, then it's good writing. those are the metrics.

Reads like something you'd find in a crit thread.

So yes.

It's the mark of poor writing. Unless some aspect of the character's body, or their appearance as a whole, is integral to the story, it's best to leave it ambiguous. It reeks of twelve year olds describing their 'super cool, awesome, epic' character that they've created, and is notable only for how they look.

If they are meant to be vapid, it's stylistic, or the protagonist observes people like that, then it's all good. Can't really judge in this case, on account of me not knowing the book. However, it reeks of YA trash.

...

...

it's awful
>protag is female
so it's written by a female, makes sense

>first paragraph describes wide lower down
>second goes on to talk about having a thin waist
Why was the thicc taken away from me?

If the book is not some form of unreliable asshole narrator it's prety shit. It reads boring, but I can see it as a dumb woman character and if captures that perfectly well.

the day Veeky Forums becomes literate is the day DFW is revealed to be a replacement government sanctioned Pynchon

>perhaps the time has come for me to describe myself

Perhaps you should not

>wide hips
>slim waist
this is the thicc you're looking for

when i read it i could feel in my bones that the author was french.
also, lucky's not silent, he gets a whole rambling joycean monologue

It's ok.