Write whats on your mind

Fall is the harvest of the life sown in summer. My favorite station that plays classical music here is working on my radio again. I have a nice comfy reading chair.

Because I'm mentally ill and I fear people connecting the dots and finding anything out about me. I want to be separate from myself as I possibly can when I write. Not during the writing, but just, covering my tracks.

the idea people here, tumblr, twitter, everyone ripping me apart or doxxing me or any shit.

I feel like shit tonight but what else is new

...

You can still publish under a female name if you're afraid of people associating the "real" you with the "writer" you.

Talk to your agent. Pen names are no big deal.

I wrote my first two novels under a pen name. No one ever connected any dots.

you sound fucking spooky

I have to pee, yet I do nothing about it. I can feel the urine slowly build up in a continuous stream from my kidneys and slowly put pressure on my phallus but I have a paper to write and this is most certainly the type of distraction that could completely ruin my flow.

I might. I don't know. I'm sorry for venting. I know nobody wants to hear me.

tired of working.
tired of ennui.
tired of living.
tired.

I wonder if I'm being baited. I'm a cowardly, friendless, ineffectual, mean, suicidal virgin who tries to make happy people on the internet feel bad.

I'm sorry.

mom and dad seem like they want to be miserable for the rest of their lives
oh well

Really?

I am quite normal and we'll adjusted I assure you.

>I'm quite normal

What do you do usually do, user? Talk with me, I'm bored.

Senior in high school, and I don't know what to do with my future. I'm definitely going to college, but they all seem to bleed together. I always thought there'd be some standout college that I'd feel immediate affinity to. Instead, I feel varying shades of dislike that overshadow positives. I enjoy writing and reading (although not to the extent I say I do because I'd actually read and write if I did), so part of me wants to study English Lit. The more rational(?) side of me sees the degree as a useless deadend. I could just pursue reading and writing in my free time and study a field with actual career importance like Computer Science. But I'm not really good at anything besides writing, and I feel pursuing anything else would result in a. failure or b. not even arriving to failure because I don't have a very strong academic record to support such a different venture.
College-wise everything either looks like a semi-interesting pile of work to crumble under or a liberal environment full of posturing pseudo-intellectuals. I've got the grades to get into high-tier schools (top-tier is a reach) but not the extra curriculars, so my plan is to make shit up about writing a lot. I don't really know what I want from college besides an intellectual but still amusing environment where academics are a large focus and people aren't pretentious faggots.
"Bourgeois" first-world problems I know and if anyone replies i'll be called a faggot, but I've been brought up to believe my entire future hinges on the choices I'm about to make.

Go to school, read books, listen to jazz and clasicall music, play vidya, watch a few tv shows, talk to my gf. Those are the things I do usually.

What about you?

I like to take walks through the rest of my town. Not many people live here any longer. I have to drive into town for work at the bakery. The family nextdoor just moved out. Their family was here for almost 100 years.

I don't know, it's quite calm around here, but I'm no different from anyone else around here, though I suppose there aren't many...

this is the best my life will ever be, and I keep coming up with different ideas for stories that I want to write and I cant wait for the future.

why the fuck am I majoring in computer science

The ridges scrape me clean, the smoothness numbs me up.
I have the need to experience pain.
Because it delays the cold.

The nonexistent skin on my fingertips. I can't point at anyone.

There's a chord, getting tighter with each struggle. Somehow it feels deserved.

I hear a noise, and I'm suddenly pulled in. I turned and saw the outline. It made up all of my thoughts that never materialized. I crawled towards them with stiff legs. But they never came any closer.

why the fuck am i majoring in econ

Lots of young people think their choice of college really matters. Unless you want to be an astronaut or an otherwise 0.001% profession, it largely does not.

I changed majors from English to STEM midway through college, not because I loved STEM stuff, but because I realized that your job is just a thing you do for money. It isn't who you are.

It's hard to make a living in the humanities. Having a "real job" was, for me, a very practical choice instead of being a thin schizophrenic in an attic somewhere rambling about how the themes just don't line up properly.

Now I'm an engineer. It's a thing that I do for money, but that's not who I am. My core self is still that book loving nerd who just wants to be left alone with some well-crafted sentences.

Don't overthink it. Follow your heart. You'll make the right choice.

Yeah it seems pretty normal.
I do all the things that you do but I don't play video games nor I have a girlfriend.

How old are, user? You work in a bakery? Do you mind if I ask where are you from?

Also who is the one that I called spooky

There are, on Veeky Forums, thousands of people trying to write a book. Maybe they've written books. Maybe they're published authors. That fills them with pride, one day they'll be just like David Foster Wallace. The general public will covet their autographs and listen to their interviews.

Only, they barely make any money. Look at how much the average best-selling novelist makes. But the great novelist! You say. If you really go viral! You continue. It will not be. It would be wiser to buy a lottery ticket every week. For their double major in linguistics and philosophy, they will sit at a bus stop, waiting thirty minutes to be ferried to Target, where they work as a cashier. And your car will drive by, and you'll throw them a piece of crust your dog chewed on, because the poor soul was wearing his miserable life on his face and you just had to do something cheer him up.

Be realistic. They'll pay for doing otherwise.

I'm the one who posted

A-user pls

imagine being this morally centred

not throwing shade either, its honestly akin to glimpsing a deer for just a moment in the forest. i know the reality is that his life is plenty stressful and miserable, but in that moment he projects total serenity

how do i get over my wife getting old

thanks for this

woke up tired went to school tired came back home tired fell asleep tired

i want off this ride lads

sorry lad. you're doing great and i believe in you

Cockroaches.

I am an attractive, reasonably intelligent, jealous and sad dust mote of a person.

thanks lad

I peed btw

Cerebrospinal fluid

Enjoy unemployment, faggot

t. Recent grad who studied Econ and is now NEET

Just kys now to avoid the pain

i think poetry and interpreting poetry is a whole lot of pretentious bullshit

You can at least get some sort of entry-level office job (even just data entry) since it's still a Bachelor's degree, unless you didn't do any internship/volunteer/co-op at all in your undergraduate years.

don't ever reply to my posts again

good news! you don't have to be a woman. and look for /ftm/gen.

ive had a job as a retail clerk before
i did good at that maybe i can get it back

Just make sure to do a shit ton of quantitative stuff since that's all anyone wants atm.

It's a useful degree if you go on to do something else too.

like a business degree?

thats the last thing i want desu

It's very useful for law, It's less useful for medicine but probably still quite useful, Most of my econ buddies went into shit like actuarial work or accountancy, and to be honest it's a shit degree for going into those fields since you end up years behind people that took degrees that let them skip professional exams and things. But it's better than nothing.

one day, blind girl, you will hear the deaf man's song and we'll all sing along

that makes me sad

I woke up with LOUD tinnitus Saturday morning. It is permanent. I got it from computer noise and loud music and video game noise. It was an ordinary Friday night for me with a little more stimulation than normal for my ears. I have a lot of health problems of similar magnitude and a similar root cause. I think the reason I'm so unhealthy is because I live instinctually and I have bad instincts maybe?

thinking about how i got BTFO by some chick on a dating site earlier

>first response in like a month
>mentions she likes reading in her bio
>ask about her favorite books
>"oh i dunno haha what about you"
>list my four most recent reads and ask what she's read lately
>"your long ass reply"
>no contact since
>MFW

it is a message of hope my friend

I kek'd that is pretty savage

hope makes me sad

I can't wait to be done with uni, can't wait to finally fucking graduate. it would make my parents, my girlfriend, proud. it's been way too long.

I should have never quit that job, it was okay. I feel as if i will never find another job, I feel like it shouldn't be this difficult.

I don't want to live in the US anymore.

I want to travel the world

I constantly feel as if I am not good enough to do anything, I fear that my likes, hobbies etc doesn't translate into any sort of career.

I don't want to let anyone down.

Life is stressful.

Feel your fingers up the back of your neck, then massage and rub the area at the back base of your skull. This relaxes a muscle that surrounds your central ear. Also, try removing your earwax using a wax softener solution. I get awful tinnitus sometimes and these actually help with it.

my school has a career fair in 8 hours and i don't want to go because i couldn't come up with an "employment objective" to fill the space on my resume
at this point I'd be too tired to interact with recruiters anyway
i dont even want a job
every job i have had was awful
i wish this apartment had somewhere comfortable to sit and read

I'll try this. Thanks.

I recommend you to talk about this with someone whom you trust or that you seek help. My brother and a friend of mine are also going through a rough period. They are both seeking professional help. It won't do you good if you isolate yourself or do the same things every day. I would also leave this board.

Hi, I am Abe.

That shit was immensely dissapointing. It felt as if it would be magnificent, but in fact it was far too solid, gasseous, and short. Also, fuck cars.

'That's one sweet ass pupper'

Driving along. Coming back from dance. Hot in there, had to work hard, didn't warm up. Was late. Light's up ahead, car's too hot for my taste. Servo next to me, neon vapidity. Anything for sale but fulfillment.

I want to cum

I am distracted in class by mental images of coitus.

Ever since I quit pornography, I've had way more energy. However, a considerable part of that energy is expended on chasing women and thinking of sex.

I think the thing I miss the most of my opioid addiction was that it completely killed my sex drive.

Just started uni doing English Lit and wishing I'd listened to people here who said it was shit. It's a shill. So totally basic, unsystematic and lacking in any form of rigor that I'm having a mini-crisis about what to do with my courses. This is kind of the only thing I'm good at and it sucks to find out that it's the only course where actually being good is detrimental and means you'll spend a year being told things you already knew (stuff literally everyone on Veeky Forums knows). This is a good university too; I wish I'd done classics instead.

Uni's just generally disappointing as well. I thought it'd be different from high school; I don't even know what I thought those differences would be but it's just the same. I notice myself doing that a lot: latching onto some vague point in the future and saying "after this point things will be different and perfect and none of my current problems will apply"; I did it with my final year of high school, my uni, and the vague literary ambitions I fantasize about when I need to distract myself from the moment. It's always this vague, grass-is-greener type of thing.

I feel that I'm becoming more distant from my old friends, and have made basically no real connections with people on my course (basically none of whom are actually interested in the subject, or I guess more reasonably that none of them would admit this interest.)

I'm reading the dfw biography just now and the stuff at the start about his developing anxiety and depression is hitting a little too close to home (especially the stuff about nausea). I'm really hoping the mild problems I have now aren't going to escalate into anything like what he had.

This is kind of a blog post but I figured there'd be quite a few people on Veeky Forums in a similar position and with a similar temperament (since we have all got quite a lot in common here). Anyone relate?

please describe in detail how you "chase women"

What is love?
Why do I deny it by tricking myself into aloofness?
Is temporary bliss worth everlasting heartache?
Can I say goodbye, or will I leave myself behind?

god Veeky Forums sucks today
i'm gonna go read a book instead

I fucked it up. I thought nothing of it, but it was enough for her to end it at the start.

If you want to be a writer, write and read m8

It's not really about me wanting to be a writer. Everyone who is in any way interested in reading wants to be able to write; anyone who denies this is a liar (Even Bloom tried to write fiction at one point). The point rather is about using this vague desire to become a writer as one of many ways of escaping into a fantasy world, so as to avoid facing up to raw reality.

I'm not really looking for writing advice man, though I appreciate it. I'm looking for some way of getting out of this mindset of constantly setting myself up for disappointment by having ridiculous expectations of the future (i.e what's ridiculous isn't the idea of me becoming a writer, but the idea that when I do so and my writing gets acclaim and controversy and all that good stuff, that'll be all my problems solved. Get what I mean?)

I want to take psychedelics, in order to gain insight in my subconscious, so i have sth to say to my psychologist;)))))

you got fucking rekt, faggot

Man, what you feel is literally completely normal in your situation, don't be one of those guys that confuses clinical depression with vague anxiety.

I don't know if you mean normal normal or Veeky Forums normal because those are very different things my man.

I've been really doubling down on my nihilism and it's working much better than trying to get out of it to be honest.

y'all can't be that desperate for a president with a vagina

Vaginas only count when they work, not some fossilised 68yo clam

fuu fuu rattatta rattattatta fuu fuu
rattattarappa ie-i ie-i
rattatta rattattatta fuu fuu ie-i

When I woke up this morning, days like yesterday were long gone.
“Really… what should I do?”
I keep sighing while making snacks and my awakening to love
entered into the recipe!

Chiffon cake, custard, scones, clotted cream…
But this is strange, why me?
You suddenly said that to me…

Ah~ what should I do?
I don’t know if I’ll fall in love with you,
even saying you’re precious to me, ah it’s so embarrassing…
You would tell me you love me in a serious tone,
that only make my heart skip a beat even more!
What an unusual revolution!

rattatta rattattatta fuu fuu ie-i

I wonder if I should keep in mind
what kind of foods you like or dislike.
I keep sighing while making dinner and my confusion
entered into the recipe!

Pudding a la mode, cream, chocolate, mont blanc,
But this is still strange… why do I turn red
just by remembering those words?

Really, what should I do?
Even if you tell me you love me I don’t know what to do.
I told you to keep it a secret but then I got a shock when you denied it…
I tried my best to call out to you “Hey… ummm…”
but you only made my heart skip a beat…
Don’t smile like that so suddenly!

Go Love Win!! Everybody let me GO!!
it’s a Show Time Now!! Everybody let’s GO!!
Go Fight Win!! let me show me make me down.
Go Love Win!! @take my heart
Go Love Win!! Everybody let me GO!!
it’s a Show Time Now!! Everybody let’s GO!!
Go Fight Win!! let me show me make me down.
Go Love Win!!
GO GO GO GO GO

Sometimes, I saw a smile or a frown
in that expressionless face of yours… uh, wait? Was I searching for them?
I tried my best to call out to you “Hey… ummm…”
but you only made my heart skip a beat…
Don’t smile like that so suddenly!

I don’t know if I’ll fall in love with you,
even saying you’re precious to me, ah it’s so embarrassing…
You would tell me you love me in a serious tone,
that only make my heart skip a beat even more!
What an unusual revolution!
Recipe for love!

rattatta rattattatta fuu fuu rattattarappa ie-i ie-i
rattatta rattattatta fuu fuu rattattatta
ie-i ie-i ie-i

>he thinks nihilists have a desire for death

maybe you should try learning what nihilism is first desu

im constantly shocked at the stupidity I see in politics. Trump is a total buffoon who slews bs. And Hillary is a power hungry sociopath. How stupid do the majority of people have to be to send these people this far?

Can't wait to go camping again. It's so nice to get away from campus. I'm sick of the constant noise and crowds of people everywhere I look. Makes me feel like I'm in India or something.

I should have danced with that girl last night. Hopefully when I go back she'll be there again. What a free spirit she was.

I can't tell if I have friends or just a bunch of acquaintances. Better than last year though...

I know how it all ends

If I had a wish right now I would wish to be able to understand and speak every language. I'd like to read Dostoyevsky in russian, Battle Royale in Japanese, Kafka in German, The Witcher in Polish and so on.
I'd like to enjoy Hong Kong wire action movies in Chinese and watch "Sacco e Vanzetti" in Italian. And loads and loads more. It actively bothers me that I can't realistically learn all those languages.

It's better not to think of how absolutely uncritical the average person is. They really do just accept what they're told unquestioningly, whether it's coming from from the Left or the """""""""Alt"""""""""" Right.

Beyond that, even the most intelligent people regress back into their most basic tribal identities when it comes to politics; it's just one of those human facts, I think.

Pretty bleak mang

T A B U L A R A S A
"Who is?"
"It is I, the great desesparición running through the night."
"You go out."
"I can not. There is a disgust that you need. "
"You must find a new vocation."
"This work suits me."
"Good for you. Now salts. I'm writing the most important work in the world. "
"I'm sure, with appreciation, Professor."
"Flattery is not going to help."
"And the threats?"
"It depends."
"Think about this situation. When I am suffering from loneliness out my lamp falls. Soon the fire escapes and has a burning house. "
"Well said, but I guess you can not extinguish it."
"Can?"
"I can kill you."
"And for that reason it is needed."
"I'm not going to invent more. I'm finished with that work. "
"Not even Hovbael?"
"Hovbael is a cockroach that is thought to be a king."
"But he is a king."
"A king of idiots, maybe."
P R O B A T I O D I A B O L I C A

id like to sleep for a very long time and wake up happy and with friends

I was merely ironically posting a shitty facebook meme, user.

My grad school classes this semester are such that the only authors I've read, and read about, are Jane Austen and James Joyce. Specifically, I've been reading "Emma" and "Ulysses."

The more I interact with both of them, the more I think Austen is the superior writer. I'm actually gradually getting less and less impressed with Joyce, and more and more impressed with her. I'm not fully convinced yet, but I'm more than halfway there.

Also, Joyce shouldn't have abandoned the thread of development he was working on with Dubliners. He should have just proceeded along those lines instead of zig-zagging into what happened in Ulysses.

To be fair, the majority did not select them as the candidates. What's that statistic thrown around, something to the extent that only 9% of the voting-age public actually selected either Clinton or Trump in the primaries? The figure might be off, but it gets as the truth.

Reading the first sentence I thought your post was a fictional account of the election through Hillary's eyes and I got very interested at such a creative idea.

But then it turned out to be another self-pity /r9k/ cuck post.

Fuck off.

That was beautiful

14% of eligible adults, 9% of the nation, actually, according to this nytimes piece

nytimes.com/interactive/2016/08/01/us/elections/nine-percent-of-america-selected-trump-and-clinton.html?_r=0

Point still stands though

Worthless chick
Witty but worthless.