Why is John Green such an annoying faggot?

appreciate the feedback -- I'm always interested in discovering fresh literary talents

Because you touch yourself.

mostly because people on Veeky Forums are horrible people

kys

Lots of literature in this thread

Sage

he actually had kind of an edge on beer and board games.

that's exactly the problem. I don't trust people like that.

This response is reasonable, will lit bitch about anything he says?

>This response is reasonable
Such lofty standards.

John Green, I am the John Green in question.

Hi user! John Green here. This is currently one of the top search results related to me, so I suppose I should answer directly.

1. When we call someone a faggot online the term is directly correlated with their perceived sexual orientation. I think we give sexual orientation too much power.

2. In my admittedly limited experience, the Internet is not particularly good at telling you whether or not you are actually a faggot.

3. This thread is incredibly lucky (and privileged) to not have any faggots in it. I am not sure why you would want to be a faggot. Like, I am not in need of a huge dick in my mouth. I feel like having a huge dick in my mouth would stress me out.

Because he's rich, famous, and millions of teens love reading him and want to give their sweet virginity to him. So, not much impetus to change there.

He didn't actually answer the question. From this, I will assume that he is generally convoluted. I also think that he's naive and a bit contrived. These are all speculative, but i have a feeling that I'm right.

>4. Offshore banking

P sure there's 1 guy in here (OP) making all the posts about how much he hates John Green

I really find nothing wrong with the guy, he found a niche in the market and he fulfilled it. I won't read it because it's not for me, but whatever. I read books of equal quality when I was younger, albeit a bit different in subject matter.

This is a guy who identifies with teenagers way too much.

>only five million

Oh piss off you porky cunt

>Like,

Fucking grow up

Just noticed how similar his rhetorical style is to our Dave's.

Interesting t b h f a m a l a m

>not wanting a yacht

Yeah they're a lot of work to own but there is really no more relaxing way to travel. If I had that kind of money I wouldn't even live in a house.

>oh my shirt?... It's no big deal just something I picked up on a little trip down to Barcelona. Now if you'll excuse me I'm left my cartoonish red paperback dictionary somewhere on this stoop and I need to get back to looking up various words, they are my, heh *tips do-rag* livelihood after all

lol

Fucking gold

Test

kek

This is actually kind of funny.
Imagine being a young girl searching for info about your favorite author, and then you click on this question, and there's your favorite author telling you how the thing you want to know doesn't matter.

Thank you for your time mr. green

Wow you're so clever and original I wish I could be more like you

I couldn't agree more.

>not wanting to stimulate the market and create jobs by buying a yacht
retards like him are the reason the economy is failing
Money is supposed to be spent

Fuck you man; that's the best post in this thread

CAW!

ALL HAIL JOHN GREEN

POPE OF THE BANAL PLATITUDE

FUHRER OF FALSE AUTHENTICITY

HARBINGER OF THE MILLENNIAL TWEEN GENERATION THAT WILL NEVER END

"YEA, I SAY UNTO YOU THAT EVEN A 37 YEAR OLD MAN CAN BE A 17 YEAR OLD BOY, IF HE BUT RETARDS HIS MIND AND SPIRIT BY READING MY GOOD WORKS"
TWITTER 2:13

"GO FORTH, AND FEEL INDIVIDUATED EVEN WHEN YOU AREN'T; I SAY, GO FORTH, AND FEEL LIKE A TORTURED GENIUS WHEN YOU ARE BUT A TEENAGE GIRL"
EPISTLES TO REDDIT 12:21

"AND TO BE HOLY: IS IT NOT TO BE QUIRKY? AND TO BE QUIRKY: IS IT NOT TO BE EMPTILY EXCITABLE, JOKELESSLY SARDONIC?"
THE GOSPEL OF ALASKA 142:3

great post desu senpai

OP. Do not be fooled by these morons. If this is real thing JG did it's absurdly narcissistic and sickening and it makes me wretch. To answer your question, it's because he affects an air of intimate and honest and somewhat simple "wisdom", which is contrived and false and self-serving and trite.

You're dumb as fuck. It's not like he's saving his money. Seriously, look up all the different projects he's worked on and you'll understand why he's done more for the economy than you could ever dream of.

...

that's not an accident
he loves dfw and purposefully rips him off
says nothing about dfw except that maybe he should have made his writing even more inaccessible

People on Veeky Forums don't like him but largely haven't read him. I've read him and I've always been indifferent. Personally, I think he's just your average YA author. I don't think he has any dishonest intent to what he does, it's just that what he does doesn't tend to appeal to me, for the same reason that YA in general doesn't appeal to me. I just think his writing fails. It seems like a collection of "quotables", the kind of sentiments that can be easily be pasted onto large images and passively observed by random facebook users who will then go out and buy the book its from hoping for general "life advice". I'd say this is less of a result of shady marketing on his part and moreso a result of his mindset toward writing.

If some kid reads him and likes him, I'm not going to go full-Bloom and call them a faggot. Kids like shit like that and kids will eventually grow out of shit like that. I don't see it as a proper introduction to literature, though.

kids are faggots

>tfw you realise John Green is everything that DFW ever wanted to be but DFW fell for the intellectual meme

woah

I've never read any of his stuff but I hate him because everyone else does and I want to fit in. Or because I'm a contrarian.

I should read his stuff then insult him but who has time for that.

This. Reminds me of what Zizek said about intimacy being formed through insults & dirty jokes. I would take Sam Hyde calling me a stanky ass ho who needs a bref mint over John Green's plastic cuteness

Thank you!

tfw i have more money than John Green

An abundance of Katherines was okay lit.

The most revealing part of this answer is that he never mentions donating a bunch or shit like that.

How much is that football sponsorship costing him?

Saved.