Best opening lines

Waking up to a huge CRASH always means something big is happening. It's never CRASH - mom made pancakes or CRASH - we decided to adopt a golden retriever.

I told you I was able to fit a cheerio around my penis.

I need to read this book.

Also, you reminded me how important it is to hook the audience in by those first few sentences. I'm probably going to have to change the whole first page of my first chapter, but it will be worth it. I completely went off tone with the type of story I'm trying to write.

>When I finally caught up with Abraham Trahearne, he was drinking beer with an alcoholic bulldog named Fireball Roberts in a ramshackle joint just outside of Sonoma, California, drinking the heart right out of a fine spring afternoon.

There was only one enemy remaining; two if you counted God.

>The sun shone, having no alternative, on the nothing new.

Holy.....I want more......

>Justice? -- You get justice in the next world. In this one you have the law

>le epic reddit joke