ITT autistic professors

If you have to rudely beg people to call you something to feel better the only right you have is getting punched in your fat narcissist face desu

DESTEOY FASHISUM! PUNCH A NAZI IN THE FACE!!!!!!!!!!

>if you let autists bully you, you win

>right

lmfao

Professor 1
>sent out a guide for emails
>outlined what you have listed OP, wants it set up like:
>>start with Dear Professor Wilson,
>>body of message must be grammatically correct, stellar spelling, and to the point
>>end with Thanks, student name

Professor 2
>effectively categorizes students
>grades the kids whom he recognizes with potential harder
>gives more feedback to the students who try
>>I slacked off in that class and had A's on all my research papers, my friend who already has a PhD in biology would receive B's and C's (he would compile additional statistical principles and source near a 100 articles like he was actually trying to publish, this was expected upon him)

Professor 3
>retard in the subject of biochem
>don't know how he became a professor
>gets constantly corrected by his students

Professor 4
>each sentence contains 10-20 vocal fillers, counted the number of times he said "uhhh" when he spoke, it was 405 times in 1 hour

Professor 5
>clinical liaison in internal med
>would hold post conferences
>talks about his anecdotes and life experiences instead of lecturing principles encountered
>waste of 2 hours of precious time, every single day

Meh, we're all human and they didn't bug me all too much.

The one thing I really disagree with is that some professors grade a lot harder in the same subjects that are taught by lax professors.
Getting an A in a subject by one professor is supposedly a C or D level to another.
I feel universities should investigate huge grade disparities between professors teaching the same subjects (I used ratemyprofessor.com during undergrad to specifically avoid this)

>Professor calls me by first name in a class of 160 people
>Everybody turns in my direction
J-just because I went weekly in his office to correct my exercise, that was embarassing

If you're young and dumb enough to care about your colleagues just man the fuck up and enjoy the extra grade.

The Professor part makes sense but the "Dear" part is kinda stupid.

it's actually my worst grade in my masters degree, the guy was actually pretty tough and didn't play favourites at all

I believe the autist is you.

You did something very rude and incosiderate towards another person.

He is your professor faggot not your butt buddy. Professor lastname is only acceptable format. Even dear is too much

>Ay yo Oppie
>whatz dat shit you asked us last week in da lectures?
>cheers in advance yeah?
>peace out homie
-rich feynn

Dumb frog poster.

You guys are seriously stuck up, all of my professors address me on a first name basis and I do the same because we're not fucking NERDS

Some professors have god complexes like doctors. They live in an isolated world where they are important but not really important outside of it

>sent out a guide for emails
>outlined what you have listed OP, wants it set up like:
>>start with Dear Professor Wilson,
>>body of message must be grammatically correct, stellar spelling, and to the point
>>end with Thanks, student name
Having dealt with students, I can tell you this is not an ego thing. At any given higher education institute, half the students are barely literate. You need to lay down rules like this if you want to understand what the fuck they are trying to say.

>not responding with 'Hi my dear Professor'

>Hi
>Not Hello

Seriously nigger?

>Dear

Ew no.

spotted the nigger. next time just start the email with "sup muh nigga", and end with "your nigga, user."

He's fucking with you. A lot pf professors like to make their students nervous.

this happened to me, I got a 500+ word response how inpolite I am, shit was cash, still managed to pass. I cringe every time how retarded I was

I emailed one of my professors

"Hi (name),

....serious email here

"

Because he said we could refer to him by his first name.

Others I use

"Hi Dr. (last name),

....serious email here

"

Those professors never told us to call them by their first name so I don't.

One professor's university's ID is a spanish word, (he's a white guy whose initials and spell a spanish word) and he tells us we can refer to him by that word or by his first name or by his last name. I usually refer to him by his first name.

Lot of professors in math / STEM are not so uptight.

post it

can't, it's in croatian

post it anyway or just run it through google translate.

I've had a similar experience except it wasn't a PS, it was all I got as a reply. Pissed me right off because I all I did was ask a simple question that should have been in the syllabus anyway.

I only ever use "Dear professor..." the first time I talk/email to someone. After that I just use "Hi [name]", and if it's a person I email daily I don't even bother saying hello.

Assistant prof here, mid 30's, second year as a prof.

Honestly OP, I fucking hate people like that. If my students ask, I tell them my job title and that it's accurate to call me "Dr. user". Most of them pay no attention and call me "Mr." or they even call me by my first name and I don't give a fuck. I don't correct them because who gives a shit.

If your source of self respect is tied up in making your students call you by your proper title and shit like that, then you're completely worthless and I have no respect for you. Your students should respect you because you prove to them on the first day that you're a wise badass.

Get raped undergrad

samefag here, thought of more to say.

It's not reasonable to expect all your students to know what your title is. Instructors have all kinds of job titles. Your students have some instructors who are just grad students. They have some who only have a masters. They have some who do have a phd but whose job title is not "professor". Expecting them to know your exact title is a bit much.

You should not have sent your first e-mail to him like that. If he ever told you to call him by his first name, then sure (but "Hi" is still too informal for a first e-mail).

I think it is you that is autistic, because you couldn't feel out the correct way to approach this social situation.

All the same, he shouldn't have responded to you like this. He does have the right to be called as he wishes, so a brief note like "next time, please call me ______" would have still been appropriate. To call out on "Hi" is a little ridiculous, though.

I asked a genuinely exploratory question during a lecture (undergraduate chemistry), by putting my hand up, waiting for acknowledgement, then simply saying "(name), why is it ...?" and my classmates were taken aback and later said I was rude for not saying "Professor (second name)".

Fuck off if I'm paying you 10 trillion galactic credits a term, I'll call you Ronald McDonald and you'll learn to like it.

>be drunk
>write email in 16 century courtesy style
>"your most admirable", "your excellency" etc
>even used historic words and phrasing
>"Your sarcasm is not amusing, this is so inappropriate bla bla bla"

LMAO what a stuck up cunt

>all these autismos actually thinking it's ok to call your prof Bob

Just reply him don't be so autistic fuckface or I shoot you down

It is people whose egos are so sensitive they demand to be called Dr are those who make academia look bad, among other things.

pics or it didn't happen

>tfw in my language there're no "Dr." or "Professor" before names, just formal and informal forms of names

Honorifics exist for a reason.

You autistic faggots call other posters senpai but can't call your professor Dr,?

Kys

Damn this thread is autistic.

Here in Canada at least the bare minimum expected of you, unless otherwise stated, is: Dear Professor [Last Name],

What language is that?
What you said slightly reminds me of Czech (it's not how it is, just reminds me of it.)

No way I'm going to call my autistic idiot "professors" by their status. Their skills are so bad it hurts my brain.

Tell him that he's not your lover and you will not use 'dear'.

Dear always sounded too intimate to me.
I don't think I used it since we learned to write letters in 1st grade.
I always address them as:
Prof. {Last Name}:

You know there's a word filter that changes things to senpai, right?

And we all know it is there and most of us use it on purpose most of the time.

desu baka senpai

Did you at least get your question answered?

If not fuck that guy

Really? I mean, it depends on context I suppose. In the context of a letter I don't think it's too intimate and is understood as definition 1.2 states.

Why would you ever say that at all?

I start all my emails with "Good Afternoon/Morning," and avoid all of these issues.

>autistic fucks
>doesn't realize there is a filter that changes words to Senpai.

Do you think people constantly say desu, too? Leave Veeky Forums, brainlet.

ayo professor hol up was hannenin

>call me Professor (name) and not by some cheap name you would normally call your friend on a Friday night.
I'm suspicious of this post.
Why would he call his own name 'cheap'?

In any case, get over it and just do it different next time. No merit in crying.

Thankfully none of my professors or classmates were too autistic, so we all had a very good working relationship.
I can sympathise with the professors that grade harder than others, though. I had one professor who taught parts of some modules and used a blackboard, then wiped off all the material before you could really digest it. Didn't publish revision material either, and gave "half marks". Thankfully when he taught the computational physics modules, he started writing some material (technically just taking it from Wolfson & Pert), but we used perhaps the worst language/numerical package ever created; Mathcad. Made it unneccessarily difficult, and he expected a lot of work for a few marks.

Know your place maggot

Found the absolutely ass blasted righty-cuck

your authority doesn't mean shit to me peon.

Do you guys use Professor (last name) or Dr. (last name)

Personally, I tend to use the former

yeah he kind of sperged out, but he's right. that's pretty basic email etiquette.

Rule 41 newfag

Bootlicker faggot maggots. He is no better human. I would persoally show him his place by my huge size.

If there is ONE thing I like about liberal teachers over the conservative ones, it's how down-to-earth they are. I talk with my humanities teacher as if we were buddies, but the thought of talking in such a manner to my calc 2 professor is terrifying.

Stiff professors are so insecure and desperate for respect in life...

Happens always to me, actually it feels good and they're all nice to me

The solution would be to factor in the cost of a personal secretary in your student loan. Have a professional do all your correspondence for you.

>genuinely exploratory question
>undergraduate chemistry
kill yourself

Repeatedly start referring to him by his first name in class. The fuck is he going to do?

that's because the liberal faggots know they are useless so when some undergrad shitheel starts licking their ass they are ecstatic as it gives them much needed validation.

STEM, i.e. conservative, professors have actual important research to do and know that there's nothing of worth that can come out of undergrad scum so they keep the conversations formal, blunt, and as short as possible to not waste their time.

I just address my instructors as "Prof. X" if they haven't earned the title "Doctor." And I only open any messages to them with "Prof. X" or "Dr. X." I briefly introduce myself as a student in their (insert class time and name) if it's the first time I'm messaging them.

Something like a greeting isn't worth starting friction with a professor over. Especially if they have a bit of freedom to include opinion or "professionalism" points (had a professor for Thermodynamics and Instrumentation and Measurements who had a professionalism grade worth 5% of the course). Especially if they might also be a good professional reference. You're burning a potential bridge if you call him out on his pretension, even if you are right.

>Don't even bother with formalities and get to the point in a still-respectful manner
>Have had absolutely no issues with this

>fell for the masters meme

Uh there's a little something on your nose there...

Do you honestly believe the nonsense you typed or do you just type words randomly and hope they make sense? Conservatives have ALWAYS been the ones who throw shitfits over validation and trivial nonsense. Conservatives are lost in their own little echo chamber because it's the only sort of validation they get when they outright reject any science that doesn't conform to their beliefs

It's pretty much the same on both sides dude...

I've had exactly the opposite experience. Usually it's the liberal arts professors who insist on unnecessary formality, because their careers are based as much on creating a reputation as actually producing quality work. It's the STEM professors that realise their work is far more important than some trivial nonsense like email etiquette, so they don't waste time with posturing, and instead just get to the point.

I've never had this problem. Granted, I go to uni in Australia, where pointless elitism is generally frowned upon.

professor is only for tenured instructors.

you should address your professors by Prof. [Last Name] by default. some will not say anything when called by first name by a shitty freshman out of politeness, but please don't do it

both pretty autistic.

I always address people by their proper title especially if they're my professors of bosses wtf is wrong with you user

However if I was the professor I would of simply pointed out that I prefer professor (name) instead of going on that autistic ramble

>treating your professor like your boss
What kind of sniveling, bootlicking shit is this? Last I checked I was paying to go to uni, not the other way around.

>tfw too autistic to read "or"
>tfw or doesn't imply I treat my professors like bosses

So you call your bosses by their proper titles, but not professors? Why mention professors at all then?

not him but
>reading comprehension

I just start all my emails with "Yo".

that's much better than "Hi [First name]" imo, and as silly as it sounds, you can make it fit if you're generally goofy like that

>thinking everybody that teaches is a "professor"

Ishiggity niggity

Get used to the autism, friend.

Hi, autists.

what kind of shit community college do you go to where you're taught by instructors or whatever?

What retarded school do you go to where every single teacher is tenured?

assistant / associate / visiting professors should still be addressed as professor imo

a
>grades homework by telling you it is wrong with no reason and no location of error and to try again to get a nonzero score
>does not shower, wears fanny pack

b
>always wears duct tape sandals and rides a bike
>gets really excited about everything

c
>forced us to do a class second life project
>asked me to come to her house

d
>said at least one um or uh between each word
>would do this even when making fun of people

>always started emails with "hello/dear Dr. [blah]"
>always used formal language
>always ended with my name
>a prof says I speak too stiffly to him and that he wouldn't be comfortable with me working with him in a lab
>mfw

That's really rude of him.
>Fwd: Department Chair

>Rides a bike
And?