Schizophrenia

I'm so selfish i wont even come back to look at this post. How does that make you feel.?

Damn, son. Definitely not my experience. My imagination is overactive but doesn't bend quite that way.

Still, you've done far better under your burden than I have with mine. Keep up the good work.

I think all the mental abuse I received from my mom contributed to my mental illness. I even catch myself doing it to other people and try to stop it.

Trudat, victims are way more likely to one day become perpetrators of what happened to them

sad and fucking true

Sometimes I get spooked that I might have schizophrenia, I've been having delusions a lot lately.

I thought my girlfriend was trying to eat me the other day and freaked out. Other times I'm convinced that no one is actually real and I'm running through some kind of simulation for an alien species.

Some days I have a really tough time putting sentences together, it'll all come out nonsense. I can't remember words or what happened the day before.

My mother has it.

I'm not asking for a diagnosis, I just hadn't put the fear into the physical realm yet. It's strange how much I feel my mind has been deteriorating this past year.

See a psychiatrist and get on a preventative, low dose of an antipsychotic. It would have saved my life if I had known to do that. Please, from one person who is submerged in the shit to someone who still has a chance to run, see a psychiatrist.

Schizoaffective psychologist here - certified MFTC, but after my internship I decided eff that field, so no doctorate for me, make better money running an IT company anyways.

Main advice I can give is that sanity is a constant dedication to reality at all costs. So self-monitor, self-monitor, self-monitor like mad, and when acute, also self-monitor through others, as many close friends and relatives as you can (but not random strangers). Reality checking against incorrectly free-associated thoughts should eventually become second nature. So far, all the successful schizophrenics I know of have this down to an art form, and thus instinctively know what sort of input (and output) to avoid.

After that, most of the rest falls into place, but it's always on the edge of your vision, so you can't ever get too cocky or be too careful.

>Jack Skellington is the master of fright and a demon of light, and he will scare you right out of your pants
You probably already know this, but that is the sorta pitfall you have to avoid. Building up symbolic mythologies around characters or shows you enjoy is a good way to create the sort cognitive structures that accelerate false connections and lead to breakdowns... It's probably why there's so many Bronies matching up their fixations with tarot cards and like out there.

Solidifying identity through perceived mythologies, making them deeper than they really are intended to be, is a fascinating and tempting process, but is ultimately very dangerous to the schizophrenic's state of mind.

...and, of course, avoid the drugs. Even the tamest of dissociative can bring on acute attacks that might take years to rebuild from with a single dose. Dealt with a lot of that during said internship - saw shit you wouldn't believe (in some cases, literally).

Answer me this: What does the phrase, "Those who live in glass houses should not throw stones." mean?

Am I schizophrenic? I can easily make myself go into psychosis by trolling hardcore white nationalists, feminists, and SJW communists online and by only expressing myself and consuming content online. Then when I start getting rebuked my blood pressure increases, but I keep at it with the trolling until I get spooked by stalkers that fuck with me online by letting me know that they know about my online presence or that they know who I am in real life. That's when I go into psychosis. Every white male I see I think is the FBI. When I hide with poor brown people, like help an illegal alien friend of mine at one of his under-the-table swap meets, and when I see a poor or crippled white person amongst the brown people I think it's the FBI teasing me with one of their agents. When I watch TV I notice all the religious symbolism in movies, the Jews on the local news channels scare me with their forcing me to buy unhealthy food like a BigMac, I notice the exploitation of blacks in commercials, ... All the natural cracking sounds and appliance sounds in my house scare me and prevent me from sleeping and I slowly think it's satellite harassment, aliens, or god trying to communicate with me (the sounds align with my thoughts as if my mind is being read - my mind is trying to derive meaning I guess). When I go outside or to the mall in this state I notice the changing demographics (the last time I went out while in psychosis I noticed signs in Hindi, black male speaking Mandarin, and a Muslim couple) (I live in an area where I'm only accustomed to white people, Hispanics, and Chinese). I feel like a stupid dog barking at fireworks, too dumb to understand that the fireworks present no threat.

End the cycle kill yourself. That's what I did.

How many successful schizophrenics do you know?

you ever done acid?

What is reality? What if you can deconstruct the world/society as a organism and spook yourself. Like reading too much about history, race, politics, purpose of religion, ... (reality)

lol you're a fucking moron

Quite a few actually... I did work a lot of group therapy out-patient sessions in addition to the nightmare of intake during that 5,000 hour internship, and some of these folks were quite successful, with families, and sitting on and making far more cash than I could ever hope to, in some cases entirely self made. This includes a guy who was hospitalized seven times in the space of two decades, twice as a long term patient. Two of the Board of Directors of the APA back then were also diagnosed schizophrenics - I think one still is. Then there's always guys like pic related. ...and OP seems to be doing fairly well, and I like to think I am.

Not that I can claim it's anywhere near the norm, but it happens.

Outside of the semi-professional encounters, I've also known two major examples in my life. One of which went from a lower class white family, dealing with a paranoid schizophrenic, occasionally even homicidal. mother growing up. Watched him go through various levels of personal hell over the years, but he now has a family and owns a 45 acre property worth a few million bucks. Happier than he's ever been to be sure - even if his wife's a bit kinky.

The other, well, she married into her cash, but has two Ph.D.'s and a fairly distinguished career. She was quite successful when she was younger, but now, at nearly 90, the dementia is kicking in and she is kinda falling apart. Still, that can happen with or without schizophrenia, and while she had quite a successful academic career and is a multi-millionairess, her crazy kids (closer to my own age and who I met her through) did kind of tear her apart in these last two or three decades. (Yeah, I'm old.)

Assuming I'm not being trolled - my advice for schizophrenics would be the opposite I give everyone else - focus on the smaller picture, not the bigger one. Don't deconstruct or overanalyze, your primary question should be "Is this a rational thought, or one brought on by a network of delusions." With enough practice, thoughts born of unfounded paranoia and fantasy based constructs will have a certain "taint" about them, and you'll be able to identify and discard them as soon as they surface, minimizing their emotional impact.

I suppose others have described it as "rebuilding the super-ego". After an acute breakdown, it tends to be a lengthy and painful process. It's also a bit disheartening, as you'll seem to be giving up your "unique and special view" of reality, but after awhile, you'll begin to realize that it never was the awe inspiring insight you made it out to be, and for better or worse, it never truly goes away. You'll always be a bit outside of the box, trick is to have enough control over it to make it for you, rather than against you.

No, never done acid, that is like suicide for schizophrenics.