Can't fucking use my mind

So I have something called MALADAPTIVE DAYDREAMING DISORDER [ = ((ADD - OCD)/2)^1000000] which effectively means I CAN'T FUCKING THINK. Whenever I'm doing something ungrounded in the surrounding objects (like thinking as opposed to reading) I can't fucking help but drift away.

Math and physics are my passion, so finally I decided to just skip exercises - which take me fucking forever - and just read the material. Now I'm obviously not planning on being like this forever and am already noticing the effects of meditation, but how much am I missing here? I'm gonna read the solutions to problems as well - at least to pass the fucking tests.

Anybody with the same problem? How are you coping with this shit? I'm not gonna just give up and be miserable doing some bullshit for the rest of my life, I'll tell you that much.

and I thought procrastination is bad...

I don't understand, do you gain comprehension from just reading the material? How simple is the mathematics in question? If you can't process the problems you can't pass (most) exams. So many questions.

Also, if it's your passion, you could at least have the decency to not put something into the millionth power. Nothing in reality is in the millionth power. Do you know what an order of magnitude is?

Veeky Forums - Your personal blog.

> I don't understand, do you gain comprehension from just reading the material?
Of course I fucking do - everybody does.
> How simple is the mathematics in question?
It really doesn't matter. Basically as long as the problem is not completely transparent and actually requires thought it takes me fucking HOURS because for each hour I get about 5-10 minutes of actual fucking thinking IN TOTAL. On a good day. So you can guess I haven't progressed too much. Especially since I was procrastinating for years now before the last couple of months (understandably...).
> If you can't process the problems you can't pass (most) exams
Well that's why I plan on studying problem solutions when/before I enroll.

> it takes me fucking HOURS because for each hour I get about 5-10 minutes of actual fucking thinking IN TOTAL. On a good day
Fuck me

Jesus, that sound brutal.

I'm just an ordinary combo of ADHD (I don't care if they took the 'H' out of the DSMV - IT MAKES SENSE, DAMMIT), a sprinkling of OCD, some anxiety, used to have a panic disorder, certain autism-spectrum tendencies, and of course plenty of fucking depression.

But that. That sounds like it -fucking sucks-. Sorry you have that, man.

Most people have that more or less. Just socialize, get a gf, start doing sports and it'll get much better. To have a mindframe where gf is something unreal is fucking hell which you don't even realize until you get out of it. When you're in that state your brain basically thinks "welp there's no point to anything I'm doing, might as well just be a fucking vegetable" and turns off your faculties.

> get a gf
oh fuck why didnt i think of it! thanks, fucking eisenberg.

Basically what you are saying is that you are a wannabe scientist but you cannot accept the fact that in reality you don't give a fuck about science. It doesn't absorb you, it doesn't steal your attention for long enough. So, perhaps instead of physics and math, you should focus on something trivial, that you can comprehend (something for faggots and women, like dancing or singing). Blaming imaginary disease for your condition will not change a thing. You will always be a faggot.

MDbro here, I used to be hyperactive since a kid up until firat year college.
Id literally do 15 minutes of work, stand up, and start jumping or pacing my room playing out imaginary scenarios.
Just do sports. When you are physically tired but not exhausted, your mind is completely empty and focused until you flip the switch.
I play court tennis or do gym or walk briskly around town. My symptoms are going away and Ive fixed my on/off switch; recommend you do the same.

gr8b8m8ir8it8/8

I more or less control my macro "episodes", but at this point it just starts whenever I'm not completely present like a fucking PC virus process. I do strength exercises and some stretching which helps overall, though I'm not sure about this condition specifically.

What does drastically change the situation is meditation. I'm thinking of constantly focusing on my breath now - maybe this way I can make it work with solving problems.

Hmm. If you stare at a wall, how long does it take for images to start jumping out?

>Anybody with the same problem?
Anyone without the same problem? To some degree.

>you should focus on something trivial
So, uhm, math?

1:58 strictly speaking. Brief image which I count as 0.5 points in the journal. Words were popping in throughout the whole things, but I managed not to get sucked in and reply.
The thing with this is I'm grounded by the wall basically. With closed eyes like with meditation or while focusing on the problem and trying to use imagination it's like a flower being ripped from the earth by the tornado.

I'll try it again after meditating.

Don't feed the obvious troll.

33 seconds this time. Funny.

OP, you fucking tadpole, quit distracting me, i'm thinking on how not to think.

P.S. special forgspawn bonus: If you think you're meditating, you're not meditating.

I don't think I'm meditating I'm just drowning in the ocean of unconsciously forced imagination.

>unconsciously forced imagination

Fuck. Do I have this too? I think have this disease too.

When I am working on problems I constantly think about other things and then stand up and start walking around.

The only difference is that while distracted my brains seems to be pondering the problem unconciosly so when I come back from walking around I almost always have a solution or something that could take me to a solution.