Write what's on your mind

>Every single undergrad girl is hot and I'm not sure if I'm allowed to fuck them as long as they're not directly my students

Are you a professor? Until recently professors could "fuck" students who weren't in their classes, but that's changing now. Grad students can "fuck" whoever they want so long as they're not grading them. I think even then if you immediately tell your superior what's going on it's all good, you're just have to get someone else to mark her papers. Being a TA is not some sacred duty, it's just a potential conflict of interest. It's not like you're teaching children after all.

I think what I'll do is dedicate a goal of making one are of the body absolutely devoid of old dead skin (blood, too?) cells. I just wonder if blood cells get released through sweating because it's so pink.

Anyways, that way, piecemeal, I can eventually feel clean again.

Whenever i'm at a bar/club with a girl they always want to dance and i'm sitting there thinking of better things I could do with her body such as greasing up her backside and playing log flume.

The several days of annoying pain of my ingrown fingernail has just in the past 40 seconds turned into a kind of pleasant radiating warmth going up my finger

Either it's gettin' better or I'm gonna die

Whoa all my fingers are cold as fuck to the touch too except that one which is really warm

My body is bathing it in warm blood

>pass a girl on the street
>imagine how many chads have facefucked her in nightclub bathrooms
>become increasingly nervous
>distance myself from her as much as possible and avoid eye contact

At least I have my books.

>chocolate
>cheese cake

kinda defeats the purpose of a "cheese cake" don't you think?

Maybe I will meet my waifu at a used bookstore.

I have phimosis, I can't get hard, I have crooked teeth, acne scars, and a hunchback.

I work close to a college and I share that feel.

I'm snowed in, and somehow that affects me. I wouldn't leave, or do anything special if there was no snow, but I've felt trapped all day regardless. I've found myself wandering the house, eyeballing all the alcohol bottles in the house, making an inventory of their locations and capacities.

I haven't been to a meeting in over a week, not that I put much faith in them, but it still feels irregular if I don't. I have to see my therapist Wednesday, he keeps asking about progress with the book I'm writing and making comments that he'd like to read it. Do I really want to show my book to my fucking therapist? Everything about that just seems sad.

I'm not sure if I even like the book, or what it is specifically. I wanted to write it to try something different than all the other books I wrote, and it's different; that's about all I can say about it. I have it in my mind that it's a failure, even though it isn't completed, and I can change anything and everything about it if I want.

It's tea time, anyway. Then I'll read french for a while.

It hit me just now that the reason contemporary literary writers seem less impressive than historical (dead 50+ years ago) ones is that most of them do not have immense critical reputations yet. My vision of them hasn't been clouded by that, I can see them for what they are. I bet that once you get the idea in your head there's a general consensus about someone being great, a genius, whatever, it forever destroys your ability to see them impartially.

People love Shakespeare not for his writing so much as because they've always been told, again and again, that he is great. If you think a "great" artist is shallow, idiotic, whatever, you're likely to find fault with yourself, not the critical consensus.

Maybe with knowledge of reputations peeled away, they'd ALL seem pretty unimpressive if you still went in expecting highest genius, whatever that means.

I don't remember posting this

Thanksgiving is thursday. Not that I dread it, but I already want it over. I'll go over to my dad's, hopefully my wheelchair bound, brain dead uncle won't be there. It's such a hassle, and an expense, getting him out of the house anymore that he rarely makes appearances. To celebrate the last time the Browns beat the Steelers, he got so drunk that he fell down the steps and cracked his head open on a concrete wall. And yet....that somehow does seem to be the perfect celebration for a Browns fan.

His dying mother will undoubtedly be there. Parkisons, depression, alcoholism, and just general crazy is killing her. She delights in bringing everyone into her depression. I won't be bringing a covered dish, as my silent protest of the general idea of her.

My slightly insane, abusive, semi-alcoholic, though highly successful father will be there, naturally. Hopefully he gets seven or eight in him before I get there, so he'll be likable. Lately he just ignores me for the most part, which I'm fine with. I've told him to shut the fuck up, and threatened to kill him that one time, enough that his new tactic is to deprive me of his wisdom and philosophy....which is basically the exact thing I wanted.

My fat whore sister is blossoming into the welfare queen she was born to be, the baby is apparently due soon, the 1.9 of them will attend. The other sister is still annoying beautiful, stupid, and happy in her marriage to an alcoholic who looks and acts exactly like me. I have to pretend that's not weird. I'll also have to find some excuse, other than I just got out of rehab, for why I can't split a bottle of crown with him.

I'm a different person.

i think certain institutions have incoherent aspects that people like to point to as problems in need of resolution, but are really strengths. like in israel - there is a secular left and a religious right. they dont agree on much. but the secular left powers the economy, while the religious right makes the argument for the existence of a religious jewish state that the secularists can't. same in american politics - the left and right nurse each other in a way that is incoherent and effective.

i think maybe the same is true for my own thoughts. i believe you can hold contradictory opinions, and that incoherence isn't something to necessarily avoid. also whatever. it is what it is.

jew here. the state has existed thus far because we had one group with a clear plurality: the secular zionists. Even though secular zionists were pretty split between HaAvodah and Likud, about 40% of Israelis were secular zionists.

Now, the four school systems in Israel (secular zionists, religious zionists, aravi, and Charedi) are about equal in kindergarten.

Without one strong plurality and clear sense of direction for the state, I fear we're going to kill ourselves from the inside.

פטור לכולם :/

>jew here

you know most people would respond telling you you're pathetic or something but i understand where you're coming from and i just wanna let you know that it's possible to get away from thinking that way. even if it's true or not it really takes a toll on your mind thinking every girl is a turbo slut, so at least try to not even think about it k?

...

I´ve long craved for a feeling that would remind me that life is more than just being lost in a vast desert of nothing. A feeling that would be true, and not the usual ephemeral mirage full of false joy, hopelssly trying to revive a flame that never was.
I might wish for rain, but i truly desire only to stop walking.

phimosisjourney.wordpress.com/guide/

youtube.com/watch?v=g2IYgyhQUCA#t=28s

I'm actually trying that, very slow.

>jew here

Teach me your secret ways.

No one ever reply to my posts.

My kid just brought home her Indian headdress for Thanksgiving. I am planning on reading her Bury my Heart at Wounded Knee

I'm contemplating whether I should give up Veeky Forums for Diablo 2.

Path of Exile bro.

total war warhammer has eaten into my reading

Holy shit I literally just came back to this thread to post this. If you like Diablo 2 Download path of exile right now. You won't need another game for 5 years

I just hope I get this 4 day weekend to myself. I'm so fucking tired of working. 40 hour job plus 15-20 hours unpaid overtime every single week since June, with only one day off in between, is sickening. I swear to fucking god if my boss texts me any day this weekend I might just quit on the spot even if I get accused of negligence for it.

You need to practice your baiting and shitposting techniques. Your (You) count can triple with these six simple steps!

I want to do cocaine off a hooker's ass.

You won't quit if he does, pussy.

The past three weeks I have spent studying morning to night. It feels like groundhog day. My posture is terrible, I can't concentrate for long periods, and I am always full of anxiety. I'm really burned out from study. My last two exams (ever) are Thursday and Friday. I can't wait for this to be over - but then the next phase is finding a job.

Best friend is always telling me stories about getting with girls, I still can't. He constantly makes jokes about me being gay (which i'm not). People who hear the jokes are starting to actually believe it. He wants to go out a lot and wants me to come with him (which is good), but even if by miracle I manage to get with a girl I would probably be extremely autistic in my actions.

My parents are both heavy drinkers and its really depressing.

My brother is slowly putting on weight and seems to care less about eating healthy and dressing nice/being hygienic. I feel bad whenever I make comments about these things. This also depresses me.

I'm always really nice to people, people also say i'm a nice guy, but I can tell that most of them think i'm a pussy because they try to walk over me, make me the butt of jokes and so on. I need to change this, but its hard.

Most of the things I do are usually done for the main purpose of trying to impress other people.

I have to force myself to not feel resentment towards other people when they achieve more than me.

A day in the life of my diary, desu.

Doing some introspection I realized how afraid of confrontation I am and how selfish it is of me to want everyone to like me. Thanks to my childish attitude I was skimped of half my medical Mary Jane, over $200, my dignity, and peace of mind. I had hoped that by indulging myself in literature, starting with the Greeks, I could change my manners of thinking and even study philosophy one day, but I soon realized that this was no indulgence. Rather it feels like a forced chore for the sake of my ego. And now I sit here, hungry, lonely, and poor.

All in all I could really use a bagel sandwich right now.

I'm full right now, just ate some french shit
cummies in my tummy
boba fet memes supreme
1911 atilla the hun
god bless america
dad

That stupid bitch won't get off my mind. Her bitch friends do everything in their power to make me feel bad for calling them all cunts in front of a room of their cheering friends but it just makes me angry. I sincerely don't know if I can resist my impulses in the future like I did at church. I had to squeeze my fists so tightly just to avoid calling Rachel a bitch in the middle of church. My impulsive behavior is only barely in control these days. It's my unhindered antisocial behavior (which seemingly has no cause) that isolates me and leaves me emotionally unstable. On the bright side I no longer get sad about anything, however I can't seem to find attachment with anyone worth while. Not because I'm better than them but because it just doesn't work. There's Devin and P but really would I hang out with them if we didn't live together? Unlikely. I spend my time swiping beautiful girls on tinder, charming my way to their beds, fuck them, then leave while calling them whores. She must've really fucked my brain up because I don't feel a thing towards any of these sweet, smart, beautiful girls. That sad thing is if she came around I would absolutely forgive her in a heartbeat and it could go back to how it was before. But that won't happen so I guess I will continue down my path of self destruction which, given that I am at least very aware that I'm doing it, is alarming as I feel no tugging need to stop or better myself. I feel no pleasure in either being a bully or volunteering at the dog shelter and soup kitchens. I don't even know why I do those things. Perhaps a pursuit to be noticed? Maybe it's for myself? Maybe I should just start a fight with a stranger. See now that's not a healthy thought now is it? Abnormal person would probably go see a psychiatrist for some pills but I know he would just call me a sociopath and give me some xanax but ever since I've started on this new route I've been making straight As in my upper level courses, fucking girls, and going out more. I just don't feel anything towards any of it. At least when I was dating her I could feel joy and connection - though I suspect it was a connection to the connection, not to the girl. So why do I open her Facebook every few days? To try and illicit any response from within myself? Do I hope to see her hugged up to a boy to make myself feel dread? I think I have an addiction to emotional pain but I can't get my fix because everything I try works out for me. No hardships or failure. I legitimately guessed in every question of a ten question quiz just to fail it and feel failure but I somehow got 8/10 correct. Maybe I need to travel. I just can't wait to see my family this week because for all my retarded-emotional instability/hyperstability they make me feel content to be with. A reminder of simpler times I assume.

Reading back through my post makes me think I'm an idiot edgelord but it's just my patternless thoughts that pop into my head unprovoked. Sociopath? Oh well.

>23
>finally lost my virginity on Friday and it wasn't to some prostitute or whatever
>still feel pretty much the same

It's hyped up as some big thing, like doing it makes you into a different person. But I don't feel very different at all. In some ways I feel even worse because now I am without a goal to pursue.

Are there any books for this feeling?

It's about doing with a girl you actually love user, sex itself is boring as fuck. Might as well jerk off.

Yeah it was actually rather boring. I mean it was kinda fun in some ways, but my mind wandered off and I started thinking about Corbyn and a bunch of other shit.

So, love is the next goal? Well fuck me, that sounds impossible.

>thinking about Corbyn
T O P L A D
O
P
L
A
D

Dude, you lost your virginity at 23. That's going to be a sad tale you have to live with for the rest of your life, it's not a positive thing.

second time much better desu

also like the other user said sex with someone you love is fukken A

Ur a retard lel

If he proceeds to have regular sex from now on, when he's 45 it won't make any difference whether he lost his virginity at 23 or at 16.

I'm so glad I finally finished this short story. I am am greatly looking forward to not having to look at it for a couple weeks as I let it sit before I decide whether or not to seek publication.
Also my sister is getting in tonight and the last time we spoke I kind of gave her shit so we'll see how that goes.

How can it be that I still suffer over a lost relationship, all while I know my race is being systematically eradicated?

It must be hybris.

thanksgiving was in october you dum dum

Apparently the amount of people that are still virgins at my age is very low, so the fact that I managed to break out of it is surely worth something.

Plus this wasn't some drunken frolick with the town bike. I took a girl out on a date and got her soaking wet, then fucked her.

So why does it matter that I lost it at 23?

Catcher in the Rye isn't a great book but I keep looking back to it every time I go through an anxious phase with complimentary soul-shattering panic attacks, as now, and it kills me that I haven't got my own Phoebe.
Maybe it is a great book.

>I took a girl out on a date and got her soaking wet, then fucked her.

So you were a spiritual unvirgin anyway.

What does that mean? Never heard of that before

If you graduate high school at 23, would you go around bragging about it?

>muh lust culture
>muh anthropocentrism
>muh sexual capital
>muh virility validity
>muh "normative" social/gender "nature" spooks

you're not the /r9k/ type autistic virgin.

It's an achievement and in some ways it's even more significant than losing it an early age because it means I must have changed significantly in order to have lost it.

Fuck off.

Plato is so much more difficult than Hegel, this dialogue format only makes him seem elusive.

REKT

feeling very fake as of late

i tell other people to better themselves they need to stop caring about what other people think, i am very hippo critical in that regard

dont have any genuine relationships with anyone

starting to feel that me being fake is a cry for help for more friends

wish i could live somewhere else just for the sake of it

I don't deserve my comfortable life. I've never spent a day of it working as hard as I possibly can.

My brother's work ethic is a hundred times my own. He had lots of troubles growing up, and now at 22 he's finally made it to college. We're all proud of him. In fact, he's studying in the next room right now.
He had to work hard every step of his life, due to medical issues, psychological issues, depression, etc.
I was one of the smartest kids in my school; immense """"potential"""" and I threw it all away because I'm a lazy fuck. My parents almost certainly think of me as a failure, which is sad because they had SUCH high hopes for me as a child.

I want someone to be proud of me and what I've done with my life. All I have to do is just go work at it. Right now.