Embarrassing uni stories thread?

Embarrassing uni stories thread?
Today I went to one of a lecturer's office in the cs dept that I've never seen in my life but passed his class. Unfortunately I forgot to register it in this year's classes so I had to sort things out with him. I knew his name so in the cs dept I asked a young guy outside some offices whether he knew where Mr X was. He was in front of me. That ought to be my most embarrassing uni story.

that's all?

one time i spoke with a lecturer and when i got up from my chair i noticed i left a huge ass sweat mark on it, i looked at it for half a second and I must've had a surprised look on my face something like "oh, wow, interesting" because the lecturer then immediately looked at what I was looking and noticed the ass sweat too. He stared at it for a fraction of a second but had a look on his face that expressed disgust and contempt.

I always leave ass sweats on chairs and people notice all the time

i like to think that they analyze me and try to mentally insult me and critique me. I bet they're all like "man living life as an autist must be hard, that guy is laughable, leaving ass sweats everywhere, he is full of anxiety and depression, his ass sweats will be the only thing left of him in this world after he dies. A truly pathetic autist, he has no future."

a few weeks ago I was so fucking tired that I really had to take a stimulant, I had to have some coffee but fuck paying 1.2 pounds for a shitty espresso from Nero, I went to the supermarket and bought a small bag of Lavazza, for 3.75 pounds, the best shit there is, and I went to a uni bathroom and just ate some coffee

eating it makes you absorb 100% of its caffeine

other methods of preparing coffee are not as efficient

I refuse to believe this happened

Here's a greentext that I wrote a while back
>meanwhile, in the neuroscience department...
>first time lecturing 80+ students for two hours
>very nervous
>took me two weeks to prepare the lecture
>start 15 minutes late because no one seems to be there on time
>have to rush through the most complicated part
>get strange looks from the people in the front rows, but too nervous to figure out why
>my wearable microphone drops
>as I try to grab it off the floor, I step on it
>everyone cringes in agony as a loud screeching fills their ears
>have to finish the rest without a mic, basically screaming at the lecture hall
>45 minutes in, everyone actually seems to follow better than expected
>I calm down, continue the lecture
>going quite well now, students ask insightful questions
>the spaghetti in my pockets is firmly in place
>feeling great
>still get funny looks from people in the front rows
>after the lecture I notice my zipper was wide open the entire time

try snorting it, or better yet, directly slamming that shit down your main line like a true pro

I had an exam and when I got to the venue I realized that I had forgot to take nootropics. I searched through my bad and found 8 pills of 800mg of piracetam each. I tried to hide behind a wall so that the invigilators / security guys / other students didn't see me ingest 8 fucking pills of piracetam like some drug addict. (there uni employees everywhere, checking your card and answering questions for confused brainlets).

The pills were placed in a piece of crumpled up toilet paper.

But fuck, exactly when I was trying to shove 8 pills in my mouth some security guy came running to me, showed up from behind the wall and with a shitty northern English accent started asking me questions.

>oi mate
>u alright?
>whats with those pills
>u sick mate? want me to call the ambulance?
me:
>nn-n-no, it's okay
>i just have anxiety
>they're anxiety pills
>really

man the levels of autism in that scene must've been otherworldly, imagine a lanky 1.90 autist trying to swallow 8 pills while some fat british security guy tries to process and analyze the whole situation

and you know what sucks the most?

piracetam takes about 1hr to be fully absorbed and enter the bloodstream, the exam was just 1 hour long, but I was so tired that placebo probably mattered more than the actual effects of piracetam

I refused to believe it too but I think it was caused by condensation, body heat and maybe sweat vapors going through the jeans if that's possible

you sound like a retard