Myself and a fellow graduate student have been developing a prosthetic penis with feedback as a side venture. We have completed and tested this on over 200 rhesus monkey trials and only one problem has emerged. The problem is that when a simulated hacker has control over the prosthetic device (it has wifi/Bluetooth capabilities) he can indefinitely turn on the orgasm feedback. This has proved to be lethal over 24 hour sessions in our test subjects. After about 14 hours the majority of the test subjects underwent severe seizures and went comatose or died as a result. How do we secure the device well? Neither of us have a strong background in programming and we don't have much funds so we are looking for the most secure method for this device to communicate.
Myself and a fellow graduate student have been developing a prosthetic penis with feedback as a side venture...
So you made a strapon for monkeys that can simulate an orgasm?
Wow, I sure believe you.
>it has wifi/Bluetooth capabilities
Right?
...
No it grafts to the area in question.
You don't have to.
To be able to troubleshoot/resolve issues/monitor patient it's fairly mandatory.
The internet of things is the best sector for this device.
Holy shit this is hilarious. I love you OP. I'l play along.
>(it has wifi/Bluetooth capabilities)
Fucking why?
>How do we secure the device well?
Get rid of the fucking wifi. Why does a prosthetic monkey penis need wifi?
If you MUST have wifi for you're prosthetic monkey penis force whatever the fuck its communicating with to use some type of encryption. Im going to need more detail on what is being sent over wifi to the prosthetic monkey penis.
>To be able to troubleshoot/resolve issues/monitor patient it's fairly mandatory.
Ok but how? does the penis have a built in router and a direct connection to the internet?
How did you implement the wifi? What is it connecting to? What ports are open? What services are running on it?
If it didn't communicate somehow with the users smartphone/watch/internet how do you propose a timeframe to allow sex acts to occur? We did this so you can press a button on your phone and finish whenever you want with the same benefits. Also gathering data is a must for medical devices.
We have a single port open running our software, it sends encrypted packets with boost asio asynchronous sockets. I've been told that nothing is unhackable but I'd like to come close. We can't afford to be sued prior to making our millions.
>If it didn't communicate somehow with the users smartphone/watch/internet
HAHAHAHAHHA you really did connect it directly to the internet.
At this point I would say hire me as a consultant, but you won't, and you made me laugh so here you go:
LAN.
Use a private local area network. Make it RFC or just use the wifi you already have. GET IT THE FUCK OFF THE PUBLIC INTERNET. Only allow it to connect to local devices like the smartphone or watch. It could still be hacked but that would lower the attack surface drastically.
Well it connects via the smartphone app to our data mining servers. How else could we get our data?
>it connects via the smartphone app
How though? Im trying to picture the network diagram.
I would draw one for you but you are not paying me and this is probably not even real so you get E.Y.E. memes instead.
Im guessing you designed it to connect to the phone like a Bluetooth device(again, why the fuck does this thing need wifi? Seems like a needless attack vector),then uses the app to connect to the Internet, and the app sends the data through the phone to your server.
The attack vectors are:
The wifi, im willing to bet it has no security since you are not giving any info.
The bluetooth, same but you have to accept this risk for the thing to work.
The phone, If its apple only and sand boxed properly it's a non issue.
If its android bring in a private app security contractor at this point.
The data server. Hopefully it's a *nix server. Not that hard to secure but would need more info on what you are running.
Thanks for the information, hopefully we do well in human trials.
No problem. This thread is amazing.
Here is the thing.
It's a long running goal of the hacker community to hack sex toys and fuck with people during sex.
It's something that's always talked about and guarantees you a spot at conferences. I remember hearing about hacking those electric vagina masturbation things as far back as 06. Someone found a way to mess with the heat setting and burn peoples dicks while they jacked off.
You really do have a target on you're back if this is real.
I would actually pay a professional to do a full penetration test.
>Full penetration test
Now I think you've been trolling me, also I still don't understand the pictures. At $100k a piece I hardly see many hackers getting ahold of key information but then again I wouldn't want anyone to literally get "fucked" to death. (Poor choice of words but this is essentially what is happening)
>Now I think you've been trolling me
No, that's actually the word we use for it.
It's just a humorous coincidence.
At the very least get a vulnerability assessment and have whoever made the app fix what they find.
>also I still don't understand the pictures.
Just from a game I like. I never bothered learning how to tripfag so this works.
>At $100k a piece I hardly see many hackers getting ahold of key information
You have to understand, speaking at blackhat or defcon is an instant carrier maker. Even if it's about how you hacked sex toys. 100k is nothing compared to the contracts you will get. People have brought ATMs, Cars, Drones everything on stage to be hacked.
People have actually been killed over this stuff.
Barnaby Jack found a way to hack pace makers and he mysteriously died of an "accidental" overdose of heroin, cocaine, Benadryl and Xanax exactly one week before he was going to give a talk at defcon on it. Nobody ever knew him as a drug addict.
Was he killed because people don't want him redpilling people on how to hack pace makers or because he was trying to redpill people on how to help protect from people hacking into pace makers
>hey check ot out man
>my dick has full HDMI support
>you can stream movie right from my balls
We don't know why he was killed. We just know someone killed him. The guy was a legend and clearly not a junkie.
Read up if you want:
en.wikipedia.org
Well that sounds like a conspiracy theory to me, I simply don't recognize any of them as being legitimate until proof is observed.
That being said I had no idea people would spend money like that just to debut hacks on technology. I suppose we could sell it only to patients with a verified condition. I think we have enough information to push the device to human trials and possibly market within 5 years and still be relatively safe.
>Well that sounds like a conspiracy theory to me
What? The murder? It was in all the new outlets.
You don't accomplish what he did in such a short amount of time while addicted to several drugs.
>That being said I had no idea people would spend money like that just to debut hacks on technology.
Private corps and the Government dump boatloads of money into cyber.
Speaking at one of the major conventions is instant money.
here a video if you don't believe people go all out to get speaking spots. This is the ATM. I can't find the car one.
youtube.com
All i'm saying is it would make someone very wealthy to give a talk with a title like "fuck someone to death with mad hacking skills". Make sure that thing is as secure as you can get it.
Here is another video on that topic:
youtube.com
Relevant:
ihe.net
You sick fuck.
>raping rhesus monkeys
Come on harlow, dont you have anything better to do.
How the fuck does king crimson work?
>We have completed and tested this on over 200 rhesus monkey
>over 200 rhesus monkey
>we don't have much funds
I know I'm being trolled, but this is too funny for me to care.
Here's your solution OP: Throw in an On/Off switch. Turn your suck on when it's time for sex. Turn it off when you're done.
When switched off, the wireless functionality stops. If the user is ever hacked, he switches his penis "off" so he doesn't die.
>Well it connects via the smartphone app to our data mining servers.
>data mining servers
Oh god I'm dying here.