There is no /psy/ board so I'm post here in hopes that someone with some knowledge in psychology will view it

There is no /psy/ board so I'm post here in hopes that someone with some knowledge in psychology will view it.

I am very vulnerable to all sorts of stimuli. Touching me makes me feel invaded, tickling me physically hurts. My hearing is very sensitive and I am very sensitive to light. I can only focus on one thing at a time. I never understood social ques or hints, like sarcasm. In elementary school I used to follow a person around and didn't understand that they didn't want me around at all because they were very not very direct about it, things like that happened a lot. I would've stopped being a creep if I knew. I've kept my distance ever since.
I tend to ramble on without realizing the other person in the conversation doesn't care, just to get every last detail down. So I've learned to shut up ever since.
I'm easily distracted and can only focus on things I'm very interested in. I memorize things again and again. I have obsessed over things to the point of printing out hundreds of photos of them just to admire them. I pace and I fidget and fiddle constantly, it takes up most of my day. I gag on certain textures of food. I used to use my forefeet to walk, I stopped though because it looks creepy. I have a lot of trouble understanding other peoples motives and views for things, and can't really empathize with them. But when I DO empathize I get very very sucked into that role, I think I relate to characters and people to much and start worrying about what I'd do then.

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And due to these things and some others I suspected I had Aspergers. I have read a lot about it and it matches me well.
Besides that, I've always had suicidal and homicidal thoughts, they are only getting worse over time. I don't have a real motivation for anything at this point. I am convinced that whatever I do will ultimately result in failure, and I think this way for good reason: It always has.
I'm under constant stress due to the chaos of this household (and this world in general) I've always lived in, too many people shouting and walking around and I can't get my mind off of it. I will never succeed in this world, I don't think people want me to. I am very scared in general. There are other things. I don't feel alright. I am very scared.

I recently started seeing a therapist, about two months ago. In our last session I asked what he thought was wrong with me and he decided that I had no issues besides probably depression. I didn't think that way, I told him I was very worried there was more than that (I didn't say I KNEW THAT, I only said I suspected it was more) and he just shrugged it off.
"Yeah, I think you've been reading way too much online"
I've been thinking about that statement again and again since then. I'm honestly believing it now. There could be nothing wrong with me and I'm just really stupid and have no excuse to be this much of a failure. I think that is the case.

Is there something wrong with me? And is therapy a meme? Also, does Veeky Forums need a /psy/ board?

Therapy can work, but finding a good therapist is difficult. Ideally find someone with a research oriented PhD or at least a PsyD.

It's highly unlikely (though possible) that a masters in counseling therapist is competent.

>Is there something wrong with me?
to answer that question I need more information.

How old are you?
Did you complete highschool? College?
Do you have a job?
What is the longest you have ever kept a job?
What is the longest relationship you have ever had with a person of the opposite sex who isn't a member of your family?

In spite of your own perceived flaws about yourself that is not as important as your ability to function in society.

He has a PhD, he's pretty credible.

I'm 19 years old.

I dropped out of highschool, I was unable to learn anything and the other students didn't like me very much besides just being nuisances to me.

No, but I had a job.

A few months. It was very basic and I could be listening to music and left to my own thoughts while I did it. It was very comfy and nice.

I've never really felt any romantic attraction towards anyone. I used to fake having a crush in 3rd grade so I could fit in more, but that is the most I've ever gotten to romance.

Too much 'me'.

How's that supposed to make life treat ya? Life is chaotic but fair.
You are not giving it reasons to help you.

What you're asking about is psychiatry, NOT psychology. Psychology is the scientific study of the mind, psychiatry is the branch of medicine that deals with mental health issues.

Also you're autistic.

You sound unironically autistic, lack of romantic attraction is a massive red flag

>I'm 19 years old.I dropped out of highschool, I was unable to learn anything and the other students didn't like me very much besides just being nuisances to me. No, but I had a job. A few months. It was very basic and I could be listening to music and left to my own thoughts while I did it. It was very comfy and nice. I've never really felt any romantic attraction towards anyone. I used to fake having a crush in 3rd grade so I could fit in more, but that is the most I've ever gotten to romance.


follow up questions:
do you live alone? if not who do you live with?
How are you supporting yourself financially or are you financially dependent?

There is no reason for life to help me, I already said I'm starting to realize this was all my own fault. I'm starting to feel bad because people had to actually put up with me.

Yeah but there are are lot of non-autists with no romantic attraction too, right? Empathy ties into this. My therapist says that it could just be the view I've put on the world and not my actual problems with it, is that a possibility?

Well what you described is high functioning autism to a T but of course no one can make a diagnostic over the Internet and like the doctor was asserting, with the internet and everything today it's easy to create a self fulfilling profficy by picking out certain symptoms that don't occur nearly as often as you think. In general, no one can know without meeting you in person and working with you.

As far as treatment goes, I'm sure daily stress management exercises like rythmatic breathing and muscle relaxation can help but more than anything it sounds like you need to change your environment. Try to be out of your house more and somewhere less chaotic and such.

Also best girl.

>I am very vulnerable to all sorts of stimuli

Typical of autism / Aspergers.

>Touching me makes me feel invaded, tickling me physically hurts

Typical of autism / Aspergers.

> My hearing is very sensitive and I am very sensitive to light

Typical of autism / Aspergers.

>I can only focus on one thing at a time.

Typical of autism / Aspergers.

>I never understood social ques or hints, like sarcasm.
>In elementary school I used to follow a person around and didn't understand that they didn't want me around at all because they were very not very direct about it, things like that happened a lot.
>I would've stopped being a creep if I knew. I've kept my distance ever since.

Typical of autism / Aspergers.

Conclusion: You probably have a brain tumor.

>What is clinical psychology

Psychiatrist rarely know anything besides what pills to give.

Not like it matters, but it's ASD, you don't discern Aspies and Auties any more.

I live with my siblings and parents still, I plan on moving out within the next few years if I'm alive by then. I can't live like this.

I plan on getting another job like the first, one where I can still think and fidget on my own and not interact with many other people.

I still pay for the things I get for myself with my own money. I've held onto the money I've gotten from the former job and spend it wisely. My diet mainly consists of crackers and a small variety of other cheap snacks. Coupons are also good to use

I don't want to have Aspergers and I am not self diagnosing it, I was only scared that I have it. I wish I did not have these traits and was able to actually socialize and succeed in general.
I didn't cherrypick things that matched me and ignore the others, the further I move into it the more I realize things match me. The things I listed cover my entire life and are very crucial parts of me that have ruined areas of my life and are extreme nuisances to others.


>"Conclusion: You probably have a brain tumor."
I'm confused. Sorry.

>Therapy can work, but finding a good therapist is difficult. Ideally find someone with a research oriented PhD or at least a PsyD


>he doesn't go to a lacanian analyst

>I live with my siblings and parents still, I plan on moving out within the next few years if I'm alive by then. I can't live like this. I plan on getting another job like the first, one where I can still think and fidget on my own and not interact with many other people. I still pay for the things I get for myself with my own money. I've held onto the money I've gotten from the former job and spend it wisely. My diet mainly consists of crackers and a small variety of other cheap snacks. Coupons are also good to use

You are self aware and articulate. You demonstrated the capacity for employment, indicating a reasonable level of social awareness. I believe you should seek to engage socially through employment to facilitate your eventual financial independence. Ultimately your age indicates you have about 5 more formative years remaining and I hesitate to affix a mental diagnostic until you reach maturity. I believe strongly that by following this recommendation you will feel more "normal" after about 6 months to a year.

good luck.

if you ever feel suicidal then contact a mental health expert.

My parents bantered at me to do something with my life and talked to a close friend of theirs into employing me.
Regardless, thank you for calling me self aware and articulate. I think I am and I try very hard to be.

But, please do not think that I will feel more ""normal"" by engaging more socially through employment. I was in school and my entire time there it never worked. People don't make sense.

Oh, and to be clear.
The job was one of very basic and straightforward physical labor, it functioned to me the same way pacing or vacuuming does.
I didn't interact with people too much, and it stayed very routine.

Jesus fucking christ. You're an uber autist and you have gotten a girlfriend and I haven't. What have I been doing wrong?

>But, please do not think that I will feel more ""normal"" by engaging more socially through employment. I was in school and my entire time there it never worked. People don't make sense.

what I would like you to consider is finding a highly structured regular social engagement. Employment is a good example of that but also volunteer work or even a club of some kind would fit the description.

You may not feel "normal" but you will get better at dealing with others in a way that will help you for the rest of your life.

you are correct, people do not make sense. But you can make sense of yourself and understand how to make your own way through the world.

Take it slow. It will take time.

I'll be frank, I was just going to ignore this thread but then I remembered the countless amounts of times I've posted similar shit regarding my mental health all across the Internet from places like Veeky Forums, to miscellaneous forums. Now I feel as if though it's my duty to respond to you as others so kindly have throughout the years.

I can't speak for others ITT but you can rest assured that there's an empathetic basis for my post at least. I know where you're coming from and understand the plight, although my issue isn't really "autism". I mostly land in the obsessive-compulsive territory according to the most sensible doctors I’ve met up with. When I mentioned that I'd post endless amount of stuff involving my condition across the web, 90% of all that was me trying to resolve the specific fears I just couldn't get out of my head. And that shit still goes on today, and has gotten monumentally worse to the point where I'm barely hanging on to my sanity.

Now I’ve been told I do indeed have some symptomatic traits of autism, as well as schizotypal and paranoid personality disorder, etc. etc. but one of the myriad things I’ve learned over the years is that literally everyone exhibits traits like these, it’s just that for some it gets aggravated to a point where it becomes an actual issue, mostly due to years of social discomfort and insecurity. That’s people like you, that’s people like me.

Now to address your post, first off, you don’t have listen to your current therapist. There's plenty more out there with a world view you might find more agreeable. However also keep in mind there's also some that you can literally puppeteer into diagnosing you with what you want to be diagnosed with if you state your case eloquently enough.

(1/2)

It eventually reaches a point where it becomes an echo chamber for you to reaffirm the type of shit you want to hear, and without gaining further valuable insight towards your issues from the other party. These doctors are mostly (not all) women because they naturally don’t assert themselves the way men do. So yeah, avoid these types of doctors, and find someone who suits you yet isn’t afraid to disagree.

As for whether or not I believe you’re Aspergers? Look, most of modern psychology is basically useless pigeonholing. OCD for example is just an extension/subset of anxiety (I would know firsthand). Most of the designations are just fluff, nothing set in stone. It also fails to address the tenant that (by god could you imagine?) people are different. Even Aspie #1 doesn’t display the same symptoms as Aspie #2. My point in saying all of this is, everyone is different, and everyone needs a different kind of help to resolve their personal issues. Simply labelling yourself a sperg doesn’t do shit, you have to look at it as the disorder being a result of the symptoms, rather than vice-versa. At which point therapy comes into play, you tackle the symptoms, learn to cope, and if they guy you’re seeing only wants to look at vague abstracts instead of actually understanding just what’s wrong with you, then he’s the wrong guy. I’d much, much prefer if a therapist were to say to my face “we need to talk about the feedback loop that’s causing you all this distress” rather than “we need to talk about your OCD”.

tl;dr drop your current guy, he’s clearly not helping you, find a new guy who actually gets involved, discern together if the roots of your problems can indeed lead to an Aspergers diagnosis, and from there, work on resolving said problems

If you could gleam one thing from this post though, be it that yeah, your therapist is shit.

(2/2)

Psychiatrists are a meme
You probably have autism
I'm in the same boat
Just find ways to resist

You probably have Asperger's or high-functioning autism.

Was the most helpful response so far. You seem like a genuine person. I hate how everyone else here basically just said either "you're autistic" or "hey, get out more, your problems will be solved"
Thanks, friend. (:

You're probably right

>hey, get out more, your problems will be solved

doing the work to learn how to function in the world is a good idea.

Or you can take pills and whine to a head shrink for $300/hour and make no improvement in your situation.

>"doing the work to learn how to function in the world is a good idea.
Or you can take pills and whine to a head shrink for $300/hour and make no improvement in your situation."

Both things you're suggesting haven't helped me.
My point was that no matter how much I get out, my social skills, attention span, etc, don't change.

>I tend to ramble on without realizing the other person in the conversation doesn't care, just to get every last detail down. So I've learned to shut up ever since.
And here you are rambling on about yourself on a board where no one gives a fuck about your life story.
A fucking thread died for this. Don't fucking post here if you haven't made some significant contribution to one of the Clay/Hilbert problems.

What kind of pills have you taken?

No lol

I haven't taken any yet.