What is something valuable you learned late in life?

What is something valuable you learned late in life?

I learned that i could completely avoid constantly having to clean piss of the toilet seat if i just raised it up before i piss.

Urine is an antiseptic so there's no need to clean it that often.

>he can't angle it so it makes no noise while also not splashing
>leaving the toilet seat down in the first place

m8

I recently learned you can stop a toilet from overflowing by reaching into the tank and manually closing the little valve.

I learned that no good deed goes unpunished, and rewards are random.

Instead of wasting semen by jerking into tissues and throwing them away you can actually store your semen in a jar.

You can then play with it like slime or even eat it if you're ever out of eggs, semen is packed with protein.

/mlp/ pls

I learned that there's also a squishy drain plug that you can just push forward into the pipe if you can reach your hand far enough down into the toilet when it's clogged.

Just because you won't catch an infection from it doesn't make it not gross.
>he can't angle it so it makes no noise while also not splashing
Teach me your ways, oh wise one.

It's more that no deed comes without cost.

I learned that it's okay to punch people as long as they don't share my opinions.

/x/ told me that alien lizard people from Nibiru put chemtrails into our water supply on the 9/11 moon landing to hide the fact that the Earth is flat.

The trick to avoiding sound is to submerge the tip of your dick underwater

pssst
hey
wanna a valuable tip?
piss while sitting on the toliet

I always just didn't flush the toilet whenever I shit and then used the floating shit as a sound damper. Thanks, user, I think I'll do both now.

Today, I learned that Veeky Forums can have fun.

kek

I learned early in life that sitting to pee is much better anyway.

>angle it so it makes no noise while also not splashing

There's always some noise to be heard. The only way to be certain is to put your dick into the water, then piss.

After some life experience, I've learned that you also won't get any sound if you can piss into your ear hard enough. Not even a peep. You should try it out.

But nothing really compares to standing up to shit.

i think Veeky Forums should stick to toilet humor. you guys are pretty good at it

I do this.

Basically I squat down and then shit.

I don't think I've ever saw on a bathroom in my life, outside of the time when I was like really young. At some point I just guessed it was easier and quicker to shit if I squatted to the toilet.

I found that you can shit anywhere if you land the shit in your mouth and hold it there until you get to a toilet and spit it out.

I learnt that I can save minutes every day by pissing, brushing my teeth and showering at the same time.

Saves water too - and I piss directly into the plug hole to avoid having to rinse down splashes.

>2 mins pissing
>2 mins brushing
>over a year that's literally 24 hours I could have otherwise spent shitposting on Veeky Forums.